You’d think Mike would be more careful; after falling down 2 flights of stairs and falling out a window (Somehow) in 5 minutes after separating from his friends; he knew he was going to have to miss the party.

He was blacking out when he heard trotting right by him

“Who is this? Is it, it you Vespi?” Mike asked in delirium

“Calm down chap I’ll help you out.” Mike recognized the voice in a second, Doctor Whooves.

“Doctor Whooves! But…what… we shot you in the face…remember?” Mike said, trying to make coherent sentences

“Calm down lad; I’m going to fix you up; we are going through time” He said

“Retard you, you, you can’t just teleport only Boris could but” Mike cut himself off; he felt himself being dragged into a more constricted area; like a port a potty.

“Where are we?

“My teleporting port a potty; we are going back in time” Doctor Whooves said; he could hear the crisp sound of buttons being pressed; Mike felt more alert than ever, where was the doctor taking him?

“Sorry if I have a boner…it is a condition” Doctor Whooves said; fucking homo

“Gaylord” Mike said; feeling better, trying to move as far away from the doctor as possible.

Mike felt himself black out for a moment; becoming awake by what felt like a syringe in the chest. He woke up; he was in a city, it…it was Paris! He could see the Eifel Tower in the background, Jesus it was Paris.

“Seem familiar lad?” The doctor said; he wasn’t a pony anymore he was a human. He had on a combat vest, red beret, soldier boots, and a M16 in hand.

“But, how do you know?” Mike said; he looked down, his normal hooves were hands.

“I’m with the SAS; and I need your bloody help!” Doctor Whooves said loading a magazine into his M16

“Wait what?” Mike asked stunned

“You play COD? Never mind all Americans play COD; just shoot the Russians don’t shoot Americans, SAS, GIGN, or anyone wearing a beret. K?”

“YES SIR!” Mike said; for some reason the idea of being shot was intriguing; because he hasn’t been shot yet, which makes it interesting.

“Okay just follow my lead; we can’t get shot…wait what the hell are you doing!?” Doctor Whooves was amazing, this bloody moron ran right into the street! Full of Russians and Americans shoot at each other; perfect.

“Bloody Idiot" Doctor Whooves muttered

***

“FROST MOVE THE FUCK UP!” Grinch yelled; there were 4 of them; in Paris… while under gas… shooting Russians… trying to save the Russians president’s daughter.

“Bro calm down!” Frost said “Can’t someone else take point!?”

Grinch, Truck, and Sandman all looked at each there “Ehh you’re the best at it”

Frost just gave out a loud exhale

“Know what guys? I quit…I fucking quit” Frost said slamming his helmet onto the ground

“What? You can’t just quit!” Sandman said “Your in the Special Forces!”

“I don’t care; find a new guy to be your bitches” Frost just began to cry and ran down the street, leaving a line of urine behind him

“Great now who is our point man?” Sandman asked; Grinch and Truck both put their fingers to their noses

Mike was lucky to be walking by right at the moment he heard Sandman say “O not this shit again”

“I’ll be your point man SIR!”

“HOLY SHIT!”  Grinch jumped; he turned his shotgun around and blasted Mike back into the wall;

“Nice Grinch” Truck said; Mike could now feel the sun being blocked out by the 3 soldiers inspecting the body

“Does this count as a kill streak?” Were the last words Michael heard before he died

***

Mike jumped; as if shot again by Grinch; but he wasn’t dead, he was back on the grass outside the castle, with Doctor Whooves next to him

“Asshole I told you not to die” Doctor Whooves said with a sigh “And what to you do? YOU DIE”

Mike stood up; feeling surprisingly better “Well how would I know Grinch was an asshole!?” Mike said defending himself

“We screwed up lad; all those people are going to die because of you; I’m sorry” Mike immediately noticed the Fifty-Seven Doctor Whooves aimed out; it was aimed right towards Mike, the bullet would travel right through his head.

Mike noticed something coming towards him; it was some sort of comet; its velocity was right towards Doctor Whooves, but what comets were blue and red? Then mike realized

“Sorry you British asshole!” Mike jumped out of the way; just in time for the missile to hit Earth and obliterate Doctor Whooves, sending debris and guts in every direction.

“Mind if I drop by?” Mike looked up; what he saw was no normal pony. He had a black trench coat on, red highlights on his wings, and wore Wonderbolt goggles.

“Wow thanks for saving my ass man!” Mike said with a shake of the hoof

“Anything for a fellow pony” He said “Names Giro”

“Thanks; I’m Mike” Mike said; the pony immediately revolted and removed his hand

“Your friends with VESPI!?” Giro said

“Yea hes pretty awesome” Mike started “One time he-“

“I don’t care; seriously everyone knows kickass Giro is better than Vespish Vespi “Giro said

“No Vespi is better than a Giro” Mike said

“Really? Well reviews say otherwise BITCH!” Giro said taking off for flight “Enjoy your sequel! O wait you’re not going to be in it FAGGOT!”

Mike was stunned, what did this guy know about Vespi?

***

“Are we seriously just all going to bed?” Dan asked

“Yea; I’m not being blamed for that shit storm outside” Conor said

“Yea; I need to think of a way to stay abstinent before Rarity’s mom cuts my dick off” I said

“Guys you will not believe what just happened!” Mike said; like normal he came running in through a stairwell

“We can’t believe what happened tonight either.” I said, gesturing to outside. The fire was mainly out, ponies had eaten most of the Ursa by now; all that was left was the parasprites and no one knew where Nico was.

“Well I’m off to bed, good nights” I said; cutting Mike off from his stupid fairy tale.

I couldn’t wait to fall asleep

Luck had been a bitch

Try and guess the reference; it's from my favorite fic

-Vespi

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