Rarity was in an aggravated move; she had just been with her colt friend when her overprotective mother swooped down and cockblocked her colt friend.

“So who was that colt?” Her mom asked; the 3 of them were eating in the third hall; the first one was in the process of being burned down, and the second one was crowded full of scared to death ponies; the 3rd more spacious one would suffice.

“Just a friend” Rarity said circumspect; she knew her mother the last thing she wanted to do was set her off on an enraged tirade.

“Wait what?” Her father asked; he had been drifting through space at the moment; just absent mindedly eat his hay sandwich.

“I saw Rarity right outside her room with some… some colt!” Mom said; she was a nice pony normally. Always generous and caring for every ponies feelings; but when someone puts “sex” and “daughter” in the same sentence, she’ll shove a phonebook up her ass before she stops.

“…so?” Daddy asked

“It isn’t right! They aren’t married! Are you guys even going to get married?” The mom said in an accusing voice.

Rarity answered first “You never know” she smirked; it was that smirk that all parents hated

“So Martha we did it before we were married” Father said

“No, no we didn’t” Martha said blushing

“What are you talking about; remember you were the town’s taxi!” The dad said laughing

“Why was she called the town’s taxi?” Rarity asked

“Because she gave ever pony a ride” The father said before trailing off under the wife’s stare.

“Okay; I think I will go now…” Rarity said; doing her best to sneak off before Martha’s glare hit her like a spot light.

“O no you don’ missy, you got to promise me 2 things, okay?” Martha ordered

Please not abstinence

“Fine” Rarity said with a loud exhale

“1 you are going to stay abstinence with this colt”

Fucking cock blocker!

“And you are going to use protection… always m’kay?” Martha wasn’t making it easy for Rarity

“Fine mom” Rarity muttered

“Also double protection” Martha said with a grin

“Why would we do that Mom…?” Rarity said

“Because if he has an STD and doesn’t use a condom you are screwed missy!” Martha threatened

“Mom he doesn’t have an STD” Rarity said

“Or does he?” Martha inquired

“I’m pretty sure he does not” Rarity turned around to see Ayan there; in that suit of his.

“Who is this!? WHO IS THIS!?” Martha yelled “DO YOU HAVE 2 COLT FRIENDS!”

“What no!” Rarity and Ayan said in unison

“O don’t lie to me! I am going to tell what’s his face! AND KILL YOU”

At first Rarity was talking about herself; then she realized her mother directed the threat to Ayan; this was going to be good.

“Mom he isn’t my colt friend, he is one of Vespi’s friends, Ayan.” Rarity said it was too late though. Martha was up (Her father doing jack shit) holding a bottle in one hand

“I’m going to kill you” Martha said raising the bottle

“Tyrus help me!” Ayan said; but no one came out “O yea…”

The bottle landed down right on Ayan’s head with a loud cracking noise. He fell down to the ground in an instant; laying there in a pool of his own blood.

Martha didn’t stop to confront her daughter or any pony on why she randomly killed some pony, but instead ran right through the door, was she seriously going to tell Vespi this retarded fallacy?

Rarity didn’t even bother to run after her; she trusted Vespi enough, and he trusted her enough, that Vespi would brush Martha’s ranting off as her just being piss sober.

“Soooo” Daddy said trying to coax conversation “I guess you are abstinent eh?”

“Shut up” Rarity said; leaving her chair to go find Vespi

Quality time with the family

***

“Okay so what the HELL happened?” Mike asked; it seems he had fallen asleep right after the party began; if only he didn’t drink all those energy drinks.

“Well Conor is riding a bear; there was a riot, got cock blocked, someone is trying to kill Nico, Tyrus died-“

“Who’s Tyrus?” Mike asked with the same questioning tone

“I don’t know; let’s see, also there was a fire, o and” Mike cut me off

“Okay that is enough; let’s find everypony and solve this shit” Mike said

We began hearing rampant running from down the hall way; just in time to see that cock blocker running towards me

“You got to listen to me, RARITY IS CHEATING ON YOU WITH YOUR FRIEND AYAN!” She screamed; me and Mike exchanged disappointed looks, I thought this was going to be interesting

“No he obviously isn’t” I said

“But he is! He knew Rarity”

“Yea; because he has seen her retard” Mike said

“But, but no! I killed him though!” She said hyper ventilating

“So he just spawns” I said; just in time for Ayan to walk past the corner whistling a merry tune

“Sup guys, you again?” Ayan said recognizing the cock blocker.

“But, but, but I killed you!” She said “I hit you with a bottle”

“And I spawned, that easy.” Ayan said with a smile

“Okay; so I guess so, but you!” she pointed a hoof at me “YOU are staying abstinent!”

Cock blocking is 1 thing, but this?

“Nah; I think I’ll just plow your daughter some more” I said with a cackle

“You, you guys did it” She said; she flopped down to 1 knee and vomited right at our feet

“So; it is just nature!” Mike said sticking up for me “It wasn’t like rape or anything, heck we heard Rarity from down the hall…”

She just vomited some more

“O and there was in the closet…”

She puked a wee bit more and stood up

“Okay; you guys do what you want; but you are staying abstinent!” She said “Or I’ll send my 2 assassins to kill you! Grapevine and Douchebag!”

“That isn’t going to work out; there kind of dead…” It was Dan coming out of the nearby stairwell

“Great” She muttered “What is next every pony eating Ursa Major!?”

Conor and Tyler came up from the stairwell “Guys I totally burned the Ursa who wants some!?” Tyler said

“C what happened? Ayan asked

“Party fever; but some lead antibiotics solved it” Conor said showing a bandage on his back hoof.

“Fine; but wait till marriage or I’’ use this!” She flashed a cherry knife “I’ll cut your balls off!”

“Fine; fine if it means that much to you”  I said; how bad could it be?

Another convenient moment; Rarity came through the hallway the mother came through “Vespi; I can explain!”

“Calm down we figured everything out” I said

“Remember I’ll be watching!” The mom said; backing up towards the darkness falling out of a nearby window… dumbass.

“O well” I said “Want to have sex?” I asked; what you thought I was going to actually be abstinent?

“I’M WATCHING!” The voice came out; from nowhere.

“Fine” I said

Luck was a bitch!

Next Chapter: The Best Night EVER - Mike Estimated time remaining: 33 Minutes