The night started good for Dan, hell it started great. Before the Wonderbolts even got on the stage he met one named Ace and even got an autograph. He also obtained a large quantity of beer from his friendly bartender Applejack.

The Wonderbolts it seemed weren’t going on until 8; so Dan, the Wonderbolts, and a group of other ponies found a nice little room, deployed their keg and enjoy a good 15 minutes of drunken shenanigans.

Dan didn’t know it; Ace didn’t know it, no pony knew it but apparently the room was a private room and they had to leave. Dan wasn’t the one to be kicked out of his own party.

“Wait what is this room used for anyways?” Dan asked a brutish looking Guard

“Private purposes” He said

“Hey asshole” Ace said, snapping his hoof “We are the Wonderbolts; we are celebrities. You’re a guard; let us have our fun and you go do your job.” That didn’t seem to fly with the guard

“Ponies I am going to ask you to leave, or force you to leave.” He said warning them

“You versus all of us?” Ace said; taking off his sunglasses; Dan and several other stallions stood behind Ace to attempt to intimidate the guard “What are you going to do?”

“I am going to arrest everypony here” The guard said

“Go annoy MP about his gerbil racing; we are having fun here.” Dan said

“I am asking you one last time, leave now” The guard ordered; no one moved

“I think this will end well for us.”

***

“Ace seriously, what the hell!” Dan said; not only were they all going to get arrested but Ace single handedly started an angry mob and blamed Dan; Dan thought that was low even for Mike the liar.

“Bro calm down we got this’ Ace said; now instead of having a numerical advantage and a terrain advantage they took the fight to right out in front of the gate; Dan thought that was okay; 50 versus 1. Little did Dan know that the Royal Guard Barracks was maybe 5 minutes walking distance from the front gate.

“Give it 15 minutes; I promise this will blow over” Ace said reassuring Dan; who knows maybe this will end better than expected.

***

“IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN AN HOUR!” Vespi said; he looked as though he swallowed a brick and shat it out.

Things hadn’t just blown over as expected; things got worse. The head of the guard was out there ordering Dan to stand down.

Luckily Dan had 2 things in his favor; Russian guerilla tactics and Dashie. Dan in secret told Dashie to go to the animal sanctuary behind the castle and find the most obnoxious animal she could find and let it loose on the guards. Genius right?

“We are ordering you for the 69th time please stand down” Dan recognized the voice; it was Major Faggot.

Dan tossed Vespi a Molotov cocktail; frankly Dan if sober would have never done that; but Dan was piss drunk.

“Dan I’m not throwing this” Vespi said; handing it back to Dan just turned around and smiled

“Then I advise you leave” Dan said with a maniacal smile. He lit the cocktail and tossed it right into the horde of Royal

Guards. Considering it was fire in a constricted area Dan knew he could have been committing murder.  Luckily, or unluckily there was a circumspect guard standing nearby with a bucket of water. The 1 guard that did get engulfed in flames was doused with water and simply ran off cursing and slapping at the embers.

Sadly the Guards were through with playing good guy. Black steel batons came out; the guards didn’t do any phalanx crap; or ashigaru wall. They just ran right in. So this was how they did it back in the Middle Ages; Dan was right at the front of the mass. So when impact was made he went flying backwards, almost being trampled by his drunken comrades. He managed to get up and toss a sloppy hay maker right into Major Faggot; who proceeded to fall backwards.

Dan was relieved to see Dashie fly back; her distinct cyan body against the dark azure night. Dan ran to the back of the brawl to meet up with Dashie.

“Hey Dashie where are the animals?” Dan asked

“Dan; your friend Courageous C has gone insane.” Dashie said in a unnatural high pitched voice.

“Wait what? What did he do?” Dan asked

“Look over there” Dashie said pointing to the side of the castle. Almost instantly the ground became to shake. The 2 factions stopped their fighting for the moment; and looked over to the side of the castle.

Out of the opaque wall came an almost translucent blue bear; Conor on top waving his hands and laughing

“What is that?” Dan said; now surprised

“A FUCKING URSA MAJOR!” Dashie said; the giant beast gave out a breath taking roar; ramming right into the mass of ponies. Any pony who wasn’t committed to the fight just ran; any direction; even some of the Royal Guards stayed to stand their ground.

“Some pony get the princess!” A guard screamed; before being crushed with 1 paw of the Ursa

Dan just pissed his pants; running right back into the castle. The brave guards were fighting a hopeless battle but luckily they were letting all the more cowardly ponies go get help, even though no pony actually bothered to get help. That big red earth pony just pulled up the drawbridge sealing the Royal Guards fates...bastard.

“What… what do we do?” Dashie asked, she as even more scared the Dan

“We need Ayan! Follow me Rainbow dash” Dan said; he began heading over to Ayan’s ring. He had been doing juggernaut duels. It seemed Ayan was undefeated.

“Jesus thank god you are here Ayan!” Dan said out of breath “There’s an Ursa Major killing every pony DO SOMETHING!”

Everyone went quite; there wasn’t a sound in the room.

“O my god” Ayan said “Tyrus get your armor on; let’s go hunting”

“Also I accidentally let free a bunch of parasprites” Dashie said rubbing the back of her head “Sorry”

Ayan sighed “Tyler I’m going to need you too”

The 3 juggernauts began running outside, flamethrowers out. Dan and Dashie locked the door behind them; most of the other ponies exited the room through the other door, fleeing to higher ground or into other rooms.

Dan looked out of the window to see what Dashie was talking about. Brightly colored bugs were flying around; any pony left outside was running in meandering circles trying to save themselves.

“Wow this is some party!” Dashie said; now feeling energized

“W-What?” Dan asked “We could have been killed!"

“And it was exciting! That was soooo cool!” Dashie said; she looked like Pinkie Pie now bursting with joy.

“So what do we do now?” Dan asked

“Well we are alone” Dashie said; everypony besides the 2 was out of the room, the last pony out closing the door.

“I see what you are getting at” Dan said with a lusty smile

He had to admit it was an awesome party; the excitement, the fray outside, and of course the sex. But of course luck was a bitch; and none other than Nico ran through the door.

“Jesus Christ I’m being shot at HELP ME DAN!” Nico said; a shot went right through the door; Nico exited the room through a stairwell on the other side of the room

“Forget about him” Dan said

“Forget who?” Dashie joked

If only those 2 other soldiers didn’t come running through; that killed the thrill.

Luck was a bitch

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