“Hey C we need more brownies! NOW!”

“C where is the next batch! We are running dry over here”

“C more brownies come on!”

That was all Conor heard for that first hour; everyone loved his brownies; they loved them so much they became obsessed with them. He was now trapped underground, making batch after batch; not even waiting for the order; he knew that the second he went to sit down someone would come in frantic screaming for more brownies.

Conor was mortal like every other pony; he could only accept too much, at first he just got pissed, then pissier, then even more pissed. He knew he wouldn’t last the entire night making brownies; Pinkie Pie was barely managing her cupcake payload upstairs; eventually Conor knew he was going insane, his party Pandora box was about to explode everywhere.

The last straw wasn’t even another superfluous order; while running he accidently dropped his trusty wooden spoon.

All Conor though was “Great I’m screwed”

Conor tried to pick it up but he accidently fell and landed on it breaking it.

“C get back to work pony! WE NEED YOUR BROWN SUGAR!” A mare said not even in the door “Wait never mind just more brownies”

“No” Conor said; he was losing control he could feel it.

“Excuse me?!” The mare said; she was obviously getting aggravated from her work shift too “We do what we have to around here and if you’re not going to” She couldn’t finish her second; a burst of rainbow juice shot out of Conor the acidy rainbow power burned the mare immediately; reducing her to a corpse in the matter of seconds.

“All work and no play make Conor go ape shit” Conor said

Conor ran out from downstairs and headed outside into the garden. He thought he might be able to control his party fever if he could find a place of solace; he did not. But he did find Rainbow Dash browsing the selection of animals

“Hey C how’s it going?” Dashie asked in good nature

“Okay; do you want brownies?” Conor asked;

No don’t; don’t mess this up

“No thanks; not really” Rainbow Dash said backing away

“I like brownies” Conor said taking a step forward

“Cool” Rainbow Dash said with a nervous laugh

“Do you like brownies?” Conor said turning his all the way around like an owl “I like brownies”

“Dah fuck is the matter with you!” Rainbow Dash said; she panicked and moved back tripping over a glass cage containing a harmless looking bug. The glass fell to the ground and freed the insect.

“O no” Rainbow Dash said “O no O no O no” She began to hyper ventilate; before she could even try and fly the little insect flew off into the window

“See what you did? We have to catch him!” Dashie said getting into flying position

“Do you like brownies?” Conor said laughing maniacally

Rainbow Dash didn’t even respond she just flew out of the window; Conor was alone but just as enraged as before.

Conor noticed a giant cage; containing an almost transparent blue bear.

“This will be interesting” Conor said with a smile

***

“Dan you have to listen to me” Rainbow Dash pleaded

“Relax babe” Dan said; he was obviously drunk

Rainbow Dash was interrupted by the ground vibrating

O my god the parasprites

But she was surprised when around the corner was Conor; riding on an Ursa Major

O my god even worse

‘RUN!” Some pony screamed; and that was exactly what they did; the only ponies brave (or stupid) enough to hold their ground was the zealous Royal Guard.

“DINALINGALING NIGGAS!” Conor screamed; he was truly going on an insane bender this time, he couldn’t help but think when he gets home what he will tell his other friends

“So we meet again C” It was Ayan; walking off from the drawbridge, which immediately was drawn up behind him

“Hello Ayan” Conor said

“So the battle begins 3 v 1” The 2 other juggernauts revealed themselves; armed with flamethrowers

“I think not” Conor said grinning

“Yo Ayan I think me and Tyler should go stop the parasprites.”  The 3rd juggernaut said

“Fine” Ayan said “You and me Conor”

“Let it begin ALLAH!” Conor screamed; yodeling like a suicide bomber; he charged his Ursa right into Ayan who dodged to the side spraying his flames all over. The Ursa buckled almost knocking Conor off; but Conor’s will kept him on the beasts back.

“Get him boys!” Ayan screamed, Conor was expecting the 2 juggernauts to come back; but now 2 sniper rifles came out and opened fire. The Ursa’s head blocked Conor for the most part from the shots but the Ursa himself wasn’t managing well. The lead was injuring the beast once in a while causing it to fall for a split second.

The Ursa on its own grabbed a nearby tree and chucked it towards the tower where the 2 snipers were positioned; causing their immediate withdrawal.

“I see what you did there” Ayan mocked “But did you see what I did?” Conor looked down nervously just to bring his head back up to Ayan’s cackling “Ha! I did nothing noob!”

The Ursa didn’t like being called a noob; causing it to become enraged he hit some red rage. Well his entire body turned red; somehow. The Ursa ran straight towards Ayan; only for the Ursa to run smack forward towards the castle; causing the Ursa to bang its head with a loud thwack.

“Ursine noooo!” Conor wailed; the beast wobbled for a mere minute before falling face first into the moat; causing Conor to fall with him.

“And that was how it’s done” Ayan said heading back in. Just in time to be shot in the head with a M14 FMJ. He clutched the hole in his head before falling down; dead

Luck was a bitch.

Protip: Juggernauts are Russian... and so are bears

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