Black Jesus lie in bed beside a now sleeping Princess Luna, wishing he too could fall asleep. But he found that he couldn't, for the stress of the coming war was simply too much for him.

'I thought that with the eradication of the Anti-Spice, this land would finally be free. Free from war, free from destruction, free from oppression.' Black Jesus thought to himself, 'I thought that it would at least last longer than a year.'

Black Jesus chuckled to himself quietly. "This is all my fault," he muttered, "and it's up to me to fix it."

In the land that Black Jesus had came from, there was a team of the biggest bad asses in existence, known as the Black Six. They weren't known as the Black Six because they were some black ops team, or because they were a bunch of fat goth fucks. They were known as the Black Six because it was made up of the six baddest black cats in existence. Now, let me tell you about them.

"What are you writing about, Liam?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Fuck off Pinkie. I'm writing.

"I know that silly!" Pinkie chirped.

Kill me.

"Later." Pinkie Pie promised.

Anyways... first there was Black One. His name was Morgan Freeman, the leader of Black Six. While he wasn't the most bad ass member of the team, he was the smartest among them, and was a tactical genius. He served as the primary general in Black Jesus's rebellion, managing to take on entire armies with a single battalion of elite trained infantry and won.

Then, there was Black Two, or the famous Mr. T. Though he didn't have Morgan Freeman's brains (he was still quite intelligent), he was one of the most highly trained members of the Black Six, after serving in the Army Rangers in the Vietnam War, and working with the A Team. He certainly knew how to put foo's in their place.

Next was Black Three, or Black Dynamite. From being the first black man on the moon, to running a whore house/orphanage, he was arguably the most accomplished member of the Black Six. Armed with a large .44 magnum, he blasts away anyone that stands in his way away, whether they be ninjas, aliens, or rival pimps.

Next, there was Black Four, or Samuel L. Jackson. Truly, Samuel was like the black version of 60's era Spiderman. He doesn't give a fuck if you're a terrorist, a snake, or a scumbag criminal. But if you piss him off, he would certainly put you in a whole.

Next, there was Black Five, or Sergeant Major Johnson. Yeah, that's right, that Sergeant Johnson. After years upon years of service in the UNSC, he got teleported to our dimension when Installation 04B exploded. If it wasn't for the fact he didn't have Mr. T's awesome hawk and bling, he would probably be Black Five.

Finally... there was Black Six. Black Six was none other but Black Jesus, who left the team upon being told by his father to go to Equestria and save their souls. He didn't have the combat experience of the other members of the Black Six, but using the power of Old Spice, he was likely the most powerful member of the Black Six.

"Woah, no way!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Way.

Morgan Freeman rose from his bed, having been awaken by the sound of his cell phone going off. He quickly ran over and picked it up.

"Hello?" He answered.

"The Black Cat is in the bag." Black Jesus's voice stated.

"What color eyes does that Black Cat have?" Morgan Freeman asked.

"Red." Black Jesus answered.

"So, you want us to help you in some war or something? Let me guess, the bad guys are jealous of your nations prosperity and want to kick your ass." Morgan Freeman stated.

"Precisely. Our forces are, I must admit, quite well trained, and very well armed. However... we're up against two nations, plus the evil forces of Axe." Black Jesus said.

"Shit. Sounds like you really need our help." Morgan Freeman stated.

"Yeah. Any chance you can?" Black Jesus asked.

"Anything for you, Black Six. Every member of the Black Six owe you big time. We will be there by tomorrow evening." Morgan Freeman promised.

"Thank you. Good bye, Morgan." Black Jesus stated.

"See you tomorrow, Black Jesus." Morgan Freeman said, before hanging up.

The forces of Old Spice weren't the only forces at work. The evil forces of Axe was also forming a team of warriors to counter the Black Six.

Led by the infamous Christian Weston Chandler (who's the best example of why Axe fails in comparison to Old Spice; he smells like rotten cheese on a hot plate), the team was made up of some the most hated people on Earth. Besides Christian, there was Mel Gibson (great actor; greater douchebag), Jack the Ripper (a famous Axe user who would spray Axe in the faces of his victims to blind them), Tom Cruise (fucking Scientologist...), and the mother fucking Joker.

Will the forces of Old Spice be able to take on these infamous assholes?

Maybe. Maybe.

"Where is the mind fuckery?" Pinkie Pie asked, somehow sitting on top of Liam's head.

"Pinkie, get the fuck off my head..." Liam muttered.

"Okie dokie!" Pinkie answered, slipping down into his lap.

"If you don't get off of me, we're going anal." Liam warned.

"Sweet! I love anal!" Pinkie chirped, clopping her hooves together happily.

"Well, there's your mind fuckery people!" Liam announced, "now if you excuse me, I have a pretty pink party pony to fuck up the ass."