It was late in the afternoon, and Black Jesus and Princess Luna were still following around Princess Celestia, who was obviously searching for something.

"Perhaps we could request some assistance." Princess Luna pointed out, "It's obvious you have no idea where the thing you are looking for is."

"I can't do that, or we will get in trouble." Princess Celestia responded.

"What does it matter? We're the rulers of this nation. If we get in trouble, we would get off with nothing!" Princess Luna pointed out.

"She has a point." Black Jesus stated.

"Well, I don't think they would help us either way- wait! Found it!" Celestia exclaimed happily, running over to a phone that was hooked into the wall. Eagerly, she picked up the phone and dialed *96. Suddenly, the stores intercom system switched on, and Celestia started to speak into the phone.

"Attention shoppers," Celestia's voice began to say throughout the entire superstore, "we have a penis sale in aisle five. That is all." And then she hung up, and the trio started cracking up.

"For a three thousand year old alicorn, you haven't gained much maturity, have you?"

Celestia glared at Luna, pretending to be offended. “And I thought I was the stiff. It’s all in good fun, sis.”

“Besides, it’s not like you are any more mature, Luna.” Black Jesus pointed out, smirking at her.

“Fuck you Jesus!” Luna shouted at him, shoving him playfully, “you’re supposed to be backing me up! You’re my boyfriend, for Chuck’s sake!”

The trio stood there, gritting their teeth in anger as they glared at each other, until they all broke down in laughter a few seconds later.

“Okay, enough chit chat. Let’s do another.” Luna said, picking up the phone and dialing in *69, then saying, “Attention shoppers, my dick is hard. It is oh so very hard. Thank you.”

The trio started cracking up once more, before Luna even hung up the phone, causing their laughter to echo throughout the entire super store.

“Wait, you have a dick? How did I miss that?” Black Jesus asked sarcastically.

“Yeah, I do! Wanna see?” Luna retorted, rolling her eyes.

“My mind is so full of fuck right now.” Black Jesus proclaimed.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Celestia asked.

“Yeah, feels good man.” Black Jesus stated, before putting the phone up to his face and dialing *69.

"Attention shoppers, we are all out of Old Spice. I repeat, we are all out of Old Spice. We apologize for the convenience." Black Jesus's voice echoed throughout the entire super store.

"No Old Spice?!" Someone shouted from nearby.

"Game over, man, game over!" Another shouted.

"We all royally fucked!"

Suddenly, in their panic, the ponies that were scattered throughout the super store started to riot.

"Great job Jesus! Now look what you did!" Luna shouted at him.

"You aren't supposed to incite a riot with your prank, imbecile!" Celestia scolded.

"Don't worry about it guys, I got this!" Black Jesus shouted, before lifting off the ground and floating in the middle of the super store. "ATTENTION MY CHILDREN! LISTEN UP!"

Everypony in the superstore all suddenly stopped rioting and looked up at Black Jesus, then made their way to the middle of the super store, where Black Jesus was waiting.

"I am sure you all know who I am... and what my powers are." Black Jesus began, looking over the crowd.

"I don't!" Somepony in the background.

Black Jesus immediately pointed in the direction of the voice. "Seize him... and send him TO THE MOOOOOOOOOON!" He proclaimed. Celestia immediately picked the colt off the ground, and then after listening to him shriek in fear for a few seconds, teleported him to the moon.

"That was the wrong guy... but I think the point got across just fine. Anyways... in the wake of these recent, tragic events, I bring you all new Old Spice!" As he said this, Black Jesus used his black magic to rain bottle of New! Old Spices Tranny Scented Body Wash on the crowd.

"Enjoy!" Black Jesus exclaimed, before teleporting himself and his companions out of the super store.

Meanwhile, on the moon, the colt was busy looking around his new home. It was barren, dark, and cold... and had a bunch of random banana's floating around for some reason or another. There was also several skeletons of ponies that have long rotted away. The skeletons appeared to be heavily damaged from some sort of confrontation. As he pondered if this meant that those ponies were killed, instead of just left here to die, he noticed several of the moon rocks that surrounded him were moving towards him.

"Well fuck." He said, before the rocks transformed into spider-like alien creatures that jumped on him and brutally attacked him.

As A Pimp Named Spike the Dragon and Applebloom reached the red light district of Ponyville, Luna's moon was already starting to rise (due to all the delays that happened on the way over, including a very hot secks scene between the two). Upon arriving, Spike spotted two of his bitches, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

"How much money have you ho's made so far tonight?" A Pimp Named Spike the Dragon inquired.

"We just got out daddy." Scootaloo answered. At this, A Pimp Named Spike the Dragon looked like he was about to bust a nut.

"If it weren't for the fact you ho's are my girlfriends best friends, I'd slap you up and down this street." A Pimp Named Spike the Dragon stated, "Now get out there and make me some mother fucking money!"

After watching the two ho's turn tail and run away from their pimp, he turned towards Applebloom with a smile. "Your friends have trouble following orders from their daddy." He stated.

"Ya know Ah don't mind if ya strike em', right?" Applebloom asked, "they know what they signed up fer."

"True." A Pimp Named Spike the Dragon said, "Come on, we need to go see my ho Twist."

And with that, the two started to walk up the street, in the direction of Twist's normal area for prostituting.

"So, you're telling me, that you found a race of alien life up on the moon when you banished there?" Black Jesus asked, as he and Luna climbed into their bed.

"Yes. These aliens were like spiders that hid themselves as moon rocks. I barely managed to survive in my fight against them. The endless amount of ponies that were sent up there, however, weren't so lucky." Princess Luna answered, going under the covers.

"Shit. I almost feel bad for that colt that we sent up there today." Black Jesus stated.

"He probably was suffocated the moment he went up there. Don't worry, it was quick." Luna lied. Luna knew that Celestia placed a spell on every pony she banished to the moon that allowed them to survive in the vacuum of space.

As Black Jesus started to nod off, Luna turned towards him and started to frown. "Black Jesus, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course. Go ahead." Black Jesus answered, turning towards her.

"I'm just curious... why haven't you asked me to marry me yet?" Princess Luna asked.

OH NO! The question that every man dreads. Including our hero, Black Jesus. "Well... it's not that I'm not ready. It's-"

"It's me?!" Luna demanded.

"No. Don't be silly. It's just I haven't really had the time. I probably will by the end of this series, because, you know, the readers like cliche shit." Black Jesus stated.

Luna shrugged and snuggled into his chest. "I think that's good enough for me." She said, as she close her eyes and began to fall asleep, Black Jesus quickly following her lead.