You frowned, keeping your arms folded across your chest, bouncing your leg impatiently as you stared at the Changelings assembled before you. The majority of them seemed to care nothing about your current condition, but a few glanced your way every once in a while. It was odd, as most seemed not to care about it, there were some that recognized your discomfort and looked away quickly when they noticed you looking at them.

"This is embarrassing and highly inappropriate." you mutter, hoping you develop laser eyes so your death glares can be taken seriously.

"Yeah, well it's not pleasurable for us either." Apocrita retorted, her brow twitching as she stood by your side.

"I rather enjoy it. In fact, I think we should try to keep to this style in the future." Chrysalis stated with an almost cheery demeanor, being of course the only one of the Changelings that looked at you and truly enjoy your current state. You were fairly certain you saw her drooling a few times. Figures you'd make her wet on both ends.

The current condition you were pissed off about was your state of attire, or lack there of. At last, the excess amount of dirt and grime that had accumulated into your clothing, along with more than a couple of incidents that had torn and ripped the fabric, you'd come to Chrysalis demanding that she provide you with new clothing. Multiple things so that you could dress for the occasion or simply relax in comfort.

To your surprise, Chrysalis jumped on the opportunity. Being the queen of a hive of evil love suckers waiting to hear their demands for a hostage apparently left her with a lot of free time, and while she'd been keeping busy for the most part, she had declared the act of updating your wardrobe her priority for the day. She'd quickly assembled Changelings who had some talent in working with fabric and design, mostly learned from spying assignments across Equestria.

Of course, to make sure the clothing would fit, they had to get proper measurements done, and so they had basically stripped you down to your boxers. Now, you were never one to care all that much about exposing yourself, god knows you'd done it enough times while drunk or just generally trying to make an ass of yourself, and often doing so at the expense of others. However, this had been... not against your will, so much as not to your specifications. Naked because you wanted to be? Totally fine and fun. Naked because others told you to be? Demeaning!

Finally choosing to respond, not to Chrysalis, but to Apocrita, you said "Please Ap, you've seen worse than this." Indeed, when you woke up from your dream talk with Luna, you'd chosen that night to sleep in the buff, since you were getting tired of your boxers clinging uncomfortably in your sleep. After having a good cry because of Apocrita's interruption, you decided to get back at her by throwing off your sheets, exposing your still standing glory to the Changeling.

"I'd ask you not to remind me, but the horrors I've witnessed have been burned into my mind." Apocrita stated with a shudder of revulsion.

"Oh come off it. You should be honored. Probably the only time you'll ever see a hard dick in your life after all." you tormented the guard. The fact she hadn't jumped for joy at the sight was clearly a sign she swung for the other team after all. It explained so much about her.

Chrysalis laughed to herself as she levitated several different kinds of fabric before herself for inspection, although you noticed that it wasn't the most sincere you'd heard from her. "You know, I am truly happy to see you two getting along so well. I'd chosen Apocrita as your guard because she's a professional and an elite, but also because she has some level of personality that would keep you from feeling like you weren't by yourself." the queen stated, letting one of the fabrics drop into a basket that a Changeling took away. Her eyes then flashed over to the two of you, a coldness in them that you had never felt directed at you while you'd been in the hive, but seen plenty of times to others. "But also because she's not the type to warm up to anypony. After all, I'd hate for one of my elite guards to overstep her boundaries, requiring that I resort to some rather severe punishment."

Apocrita didn't say anything, but you could see the slightest of quivering in her wings. She didn't want to make Chrysalis feel at all like she was trying to hide anything, which she really shouldn't. The quips that went between the two of you were a fair indicator that nothing of the sort was going on... but still, it might help to vocalize that.

"Yeah, well you won't have to worry about that. I'm pretty sure she's gay anyways. If anything, the reason she's so hostile with me is because she wants you and is just jealous I get all the attention." you kindly explained. You really were too nice sometimes, just paving your way to the pearly gates with the generous acts.

At your words, Apocrita actually did break her stance, looking at you like you were an idiot. "What? No, I-"

"Oh excellent!" Chrysalis declared, the cold air about her disappearing as she dropped the remainder of the fabrics. Trotting over, she wedged herself between you and Apocrita, encompassing the both of you in her wings, which kinda hurt because they were sharp, insectoid wings, not at all like the soft, fluffy feathered ones of pegasi or alicorns. "I was really worried that you two were getting too close together. Why, hearing that Apocrita had the opportunity to see you in all your glory, I was actually concerned she was trying to be a little upstart and snatch you away from me." Chrysalis elaborated, her hard wings somehow curling a bit so that she could pull the two of you closer to her. "But now that I know this, I'm confident in my decision... and, would like to state, I'm not so narrow minded that I would neglect the idea of rewarding my lovely, little elite with a more intimate prize, seeing as those are her tastes." the queen threw in, for once giving a sultry look that wasn't directed at you.

You gave a little, unnoticed gasp at that revelation. Chrysalis was bisexual? Clearly you were some sort of prophet, because your dream was coming true! Sure, the dream had been more so about a bunch of horny mares wanting you, but you knew how you thought, and that was going to lead to some total girl-on-girl action!

"So... Chrysalis, you ever consider getting freaky with the princesses before?" you asked as subtly as possible.

While Apocrita looked at you like you were stupid, Chrysalis merely laughed, her wings retracting as she returned to the other Changelings. "Why, indeed I have, Anon." she answered, your hopes lifting with how easy it came. At this rate, you were going to become the savior of Equestria, the man who united the ponies and the Changelings, all with the power of your dick. They'd build statues of you. They'd build statues of your dick! They were both going to have to be huge.

"After all." Chrysalis continued, drawing you out of your daydream. "Once I've conquered Equestria and placed the princesses under my hooves, I'll morph the longest, fattest penis in existence, and ravage them until they're nothing but a group of brain dead ponies that even the most desperate creature wouldn't touch from how thoroughly I've ruined them!" Chrysalis explained, her words becoming increasingly more venomous as she expressed her complete and utter desire to destroy the princesses.

"... so... like, even if someone, say me, were to offer you all to an orgy with my glorious penis, you'd still-"

"Break in their holes so you wouldn't be able to feel a thing if you tried to stick it in." Chrysalis cut you off, giving you an almost apologetic look through her mane. "I mean nothing against you, as I'm sure you'd love to put those stupid ponies in their place, but I can't allow them the honor of finding pleasure in your shaft. In fact, that will be a majestic experience I'm going to make sure I alone will get to relish in."

So much for the pony peace orgy. Stupid sexy dream. Stupid Luna for interrupting the stupid sexy dream. Stupid Apocrita for interrupting your blowjob from stupid sexy Luna. Glancing down at the guard, you quickly flicked your hand up, slapping the tip of her ear, making her shake her head almost violently and looking up at you with a glare.

"What was that for?" she hissed, trying not to disturb Chrysalis as she ordered the Changelings about.

"You know what you did." you answered back. She probably didn't, but now she'd be questioning what she had done lately that ticked you off. Maybe she'd confess to something that you didn't know she had done and you'd have a new reason to be upset with her.

"Now Anon." Chrysalis announced as she turned to face you, totally ignorant of the short little spat you just had with Apocrita. "We've overheard your concerns in regards to the clothing and believe we have a few different options for you. Go ahead and look them over so we're sure this will be acceptable before allocating the resources toward your clothing. We only have so much fabric available and I'd hate for anything to be wasted."

You were a little surprised by Chrysalis' admission of actually caring about what was used for your needs and desires... then quickly lost interest as a notepad with several designs was levitated in front of your face. Eagerly taking the notepad, you began to inspect the various designs they had drawn up, actually taking the time to read the little notes about what fabric goes with what design, how it should provide one benefit, but may have another drawback. Trousers, shorts, underwear, t-shirts, button ups, even a bath robe! You were surprised by how efficient the Changelings were in deciphering your needs, just by looking at your form. There seemed to be only a few minor issues, but you were sure you could work those out rather quickly.

"I have to say, I'm impressed. For a species that only ever seems to be clothed when your magic makes it convenient for you, everything here seems to be fairly well designed." you complimented, the Changelings smiling, standing tall to soak in your praise. "I have... just a few questions."

"Whatever you asssssk of usssss, Ssssssir Anon, we sssshall do our besssst to meet your needssss." one of the Changelings hissed out. You wondered why she had a lisp like a snake, but didn't bother. She was just Changeling 014 to you and likely wouldn't make it back into circulation.

"For starters... Why the FUCK are all the pants crotchless!?" you bellow, shoving the notepad forward while displaying the page that showed the most leg wear. Sure enough, everything on it, underpants included, was conveniently missing fabric right where your genitals would be. Like, perfectly sized for your dick and balls to be exposed. You knew those extensive measurements around your no-no zone were too good to be true.

The Changelings did not speak, but instead turned their heads in unison to Chrysalis, who had her own head turned away, finding the ceiling suddenly so very interesting, an innocent whistle escaping between her fangs. It was only when the silence made clear that nobody was going to answer you did Chrysalis look down, acting surprised.

"Oh! What was that? Something about us not having enough fabric to cover all of your body? Such a shame, but we really must be conservative. Thankfully my attendants have thoroughly mapped out the most efficient area to take the material from." the queen answered, acting as though an answer had been provided and applauding it.

"Nobody said anything. None of them said a word about there not being enough fabric." you quickly state, shaking the notepad at you.

"Really?" Chrysalis asked, still acting surprised as she looked to the assembly. "I could have sworn I heard them saying so. Isn't. That. Right?" she insisted, emphasizing her words through clenched teeth near the end.

Before the sycophants could speak up on their queen's behalf, you demand "Cover my dick... with fabric, nothing else. I'm the only one that gets to choose when and where my ego and the grapes of wrath will be seen!"

"Grapes of wrath?" Apocrita asked, a brow elevated curiously at that one.

"A clever pun based off a book, and the fact that my testicles are so furiously backed up, you can forget blue balls and go for purple." you explain proudly.

"Gross."

"You're gross! Shut up!" you demand with almost a sob, bopping Apocrita on the head with the notepad.

"Oh very well." Chrysalis groaned, intervening before you further abused Apocrita. "I'll make sure that the pants cover everything." she relents, crossing her forelegs over her chest and pouting like a child. "Spoilsport."

"Glad we could fix that." you said, pleased that you could win this round. The look on the assembled Changelings faces did not go unnoticed by you, somewhat awed that anybody could change their leader's mind. "Moving onto the next issue."

"There's more?" Chrysalis asked, sincerely surprised by that.

Shooting her a look that said she should know better than to try and pull the wool over your eyes, you hold the notepad up, flipping the page. On it was a selection of accessories. Nothing you had particularly asked for or cared about, but weren't totally against having. A few different designs for belts, a new wallet since the one you came to Equestria with had gone through hell, and some hats should you feel the need for them. There was one item that stood out to you though.

"Why are you planning on making a collar for me?" you inquired, keeping your eyes on Chrysalis knowing that only she'd really answer you.

Prepared for this, she smiled and waved a hoof at you dismissively. "Oh Anon, that's called a 'choker'. It's actually a type of necklace, very trendy. I'm aware more mares wear them than stallions, but we're all very open minded here." she giggled.

"... you have a note stating there's supposed to be a dog tag saying 'Property of Queen Chrysalis' on it." you press, tapping your finger next to said note.

Chrysalis' eyes go wide, leaning in to check it, then turns back on the Changelings and hisses at them. "You idiots! You weren't supposed to put that on the notepad!"

"Don't go yelling at them, I wouldn't have worn it anyways." you chide, taking advantage of the position she left herself in to tap the notepad to the side of her head a few times.

Using her magic, Chrysalis took hold of the notepad, ripping it from your hands, and floated it before herself as she took a few steps back to face you. "Very well, I won't have them make the collar. Were there any other concerns, or have you finally decided to stop breaking my poor, fragile heart." Chysalis bemoaned, laying one of her forelegs over her head, just above her horn.

"There was actually one more thing." you replied, earning a legitimately shocked look.

"Impossible! I didn't bother trying to sneak anything else past you, I swear on my honor as Queen of the Changelings!" she gasped, her magic sending the pages flying in one direction, then another, trying to find what could possibly be wrong now.

"You won't find it in there because that's the issue, you neglected something." you state, reaching forward to take the notepad back, then making a 'gimme' hand motion to one of the Changelings, receiving a pencil in turn.

Rolling her eyes in annoyance, Chrysalis sat back on her flank. "We put down everything you had asked for. Don't tell me you suddenly came up with something else, like a mask to deny me your face or a chastity belt to keep me from getting to your ego and grapes, because I'll tell you right now, if I really was going to force myself on you, there's not a Tartarus-damned lock that can keep me off of you."

"So glad to know the only thing keeping you from raping me is your whim." you mutter. Finishing up with the notepad, you hand it back to Chrysalis, who takes it with her magic to inspect it. "You got a few T-shirts and other tops, but they're all kinda bland. I used to have a ton with bands, movies, and other designs on them back home, but none of those would make sense here. I'll leave it up to you guys to make some of your own design, but here's a few you can start with."

Chrysalis looked over the designs you had. Given you were a shit student in art class, nothing you drew was really that great, and most were simply described. However, there was one that actually made her bottom lip tremble, a tear rolling out from the corner of her eye.

The design had been labeled "My Changeling Family", and below it was a couple of drawings barely better than stick figures. One was a human with 'Me' written over it. The next one over was a poorly drawn Chrysalis, clearly by the way it was as tall as you, with holes in her legs, a massive horn that you could only draw by making it oddly spiral up, and represented her hair with a bunch of lines hanging down. Above her was written 'Chrysalis' with 'Step-Mom' in parentheses. Lastly was what seemed like a cross between the design you had for Chrysalis and a canine, half your height on your other side, above which was labeled 'Apocrita' and fittingly in parentheses 'Dog'.

Levitating the notepad over to the Changelings, Chrysalis wiped away the few tears that had made their way out, then offered you a sincere smile. Nothing sultry or seductive about it, which... was oddly more disconcerting than if it had been. "We'll have to make some changes to a few of those, but I think we can make it work out. I'm thinking... Mistress instead of Step-Mom."

While you were ready to comment on that, Apocrita got her own words in first. "Really? You actually showed some compassion? I'm legitimately surprised."

Snorting, you patted your hand on Apocrita's head a few times, getting an irritated growl out of her. "Well of course, even I'm not a total asshole." you assured her.

"Could have fooled me." the elite guard grumbled out, not bothering to remove your hand. "If you really wanted to make her happy, why not just mate with her already?"

"Agreed, I'd rather enjoy you showing your kindness that way." Chrysalis stated, the softer smile gone from her face, now replaced with a hungry sort of smirk, her tongue running over her lips, coiling at her fangs when it made contact with them.

"I can't believe this!" you shout, throwing your hands up in disgust. "I give you good nature from the bottom of my heart and this is how you repay me? I will not stand for this! And I will not sit for it either! You can objectify me as much as you like, but I will never bend to your desires, I have my dignity!" you declare, chest puffed up with pride as you began to march off, leaving them in your dust.

Apocrita sighed and started to follow after you. "I wonder if 'Dignity' is the name of his undergarment, because it's the only thing he has right now."

Author's Notes:

Even a monster like Anon has a heart. Too bad it's buried under layers of neglect, self-pity, and loathing. That said, Chrysalis may be wearing down on our not-so-heroic hero, but keep it in your pants folks! It's Anon's job to get all antsy about it! And in all honesty, not sure when I'll be writing the eventual sex scene the Sex tag promises.