You stepped out of the bathroom, allowing the accumulated moisture in the hot room spill out like a fog. You only had the one towel at the moment while your clothes were being washed, leaving your muscular and well-defined chest bare, drops of water rolling down it and across the eight-pack abs. Sighing, you took a few more steps into the room, looking over to your bed, only to find it was already occupied.

The massive, circular piece of furniture, topped with red silk sheets and the fluffiest pillows you'd ever had the pleasure, was truly a marvel in and of itself. But now, there was not one, not two, not three, not- Okay, okay, there were five ponies, or pony-like creatures, on your bed. The majestic, yet fat flanked Celestia lay on her side, one of her forelegs laying across her body so the hoof seemed to rest on the impressive backside, even though some part of you was saying pony anatomy didn't allow for the limb to maneuver like that.

"Anon, done with your shower I hope. Let's just say, you're not the only one who's wet right now." Celestia stated, her voice motherly, yet enticing. Like your best friend's mom when you were teens and she was going through that divorce.

"Indeed, and rather famished as well. Let us say, we have heard you have the best meat in town." Luna, laying on her back so that her majestic starry mane was flowing over the edge like a waterfall. Her legs were pulled together, like she was trying to hide her body, but you could see from the way she licked her lips that it was only an act.

"It makes me so glad we came to an agreement to return you to Canterlot, under our... special condition." Chrysalis declared, giving you her ever present seductive look, yet not at all feeling disturbed by it. In fact, looking at her, resting on her stomach with her back legs splayed out, she looked positively enticing, even though there were other beautiful ponies nearby.

"I think we can all agree that it's for the best." Cadance purred, also laying on her stomach, but noticeably resting her head over Chrysalis' hindquarters, helping to give emphasis to the queen's lovely rump, yet not detract from the Princess of Love's own alluring figure. "After all, he's such a man, I don't think any of us alone could really handle him."

"Mmmmfph! Mmm-fffmmm-mph!" Twilight mumbled around a ballgag. She had a black blindfold over her eyes and her face pressed down into the bed, her head turned to the side in an attempt to speak to you, while her limbs had been tied together in such a way that allowed her ass to stick up in the air toward you.

"Haha, well, I wouldn't want to keep you ladies waiting." you laughed, your voice a booming, panty soaking octave as you dropped your towel. "Let us get started. Celestia, face that beautiful booty toward me." you commanded, motioning with a hand while your dick slapped around between your knees.

"As you command, Anon." she accepted, licking her lips while shifting around to meet your needs, her tail hiking up to give a full showing of her puckered ponut and sopping nethers. As you reached out, grabbing hold of Celestia's tail in one hand and a handful of juicy flank in the other, you shifted your hips, positioning your hardening shaft for the first of its many conquests tonight. Pressing your head against the entrance, you stiffened your hips, then-

"Anon! Please answer me!" you heard Luna shout out, surprising you enough to let go of Celestia.

Looking to Luna, you said "If by answer, you mean give you a cream filling, then I will, but first you have to-"

"ANON! Say my name if you can hear my voice!" Luna's voice bellowed out again, although you noticed that she had not moved her mouth whatsoever.

"... Moonpie?"

"... Anon, I'm getting something, but I get the feeling you're not referring to me by my actual name. Say Luna!" the disembodied voice reiterated, sounding somewhat disturbed.

"Look, Luna, this isn't-"

Suddenly, there was a flash of light, sending you flying across the room and into the wall. Slumping to the floor with a groan. Your impressive musculature seemed to disappear like dust in the wind, leaving you with... oh wait, that was your regular body. No enormous pecs or abs you could grate cheese off of.

"Anon! Oh thank the heavens we found you!" Luna shouted happily, although this time it was no longer disembodied. Looking up, you saw Luna standing before you... right before the bed where the five ponies, another Luna included, still lay.

"Oh... Oooooh. This was a dream..." you realized.

Nodding her head, sending ripples through her mane, Luna said "Indeed. We have been searching for your dreams every night since your kidnapping, but we could not find them." You were reminded quickly how Luna liked to make liberal use of the 'royal we'. "We suspected that your alien mind is not so easy for us to take hold of, making it difficult to find you... we also believe you need to take better care of yourself, you really do need more sleep."

Shrugging, you respond "What can I say? The bed here sucks and the only good one belongs to Chrysalis, which she is more than willing to share, but then I'll probably become the new King of the Changelings."

"We... heard she seemed to have an... unusual interest in you, but we- Oh! Oh my!" Luna squeaked, only now letting her eyes drift further down to see that you were naked. You only wish she had seen you before the dream version of you disappeared. You'd have loved to see what her reaction would have been to the knee-knocker dick you were swinging a moment ago. "We apologize profusely, we were in such a rush, we did not realize you were having one of... those sorts of dreams. Let us give you a moment to get decent." Luna offered, starting to turn away from you for decency's sake.

"Yeah, you may not want to look that way." you try to warn her, but were honestly too slow on the draw out of lack of care to really stop her from seeing the bed full of royal ponies and horse-bug. Luna's jaw dropped at the scene, which seemed to have gone completely still like someone pressed pause while watching a movie.

"Wh-what? We don't- We mean, we can't- Anon! This is highly inappropriate!" Luna stuttered, turning back to you, her face a blushing red, you expected her head to pop from all the blood flowing to it.

"Hey, you go two-and-a-half weeks without jerking it and not have a wet dream!" you shout back at her. Crossing your arms like a petulant child, you even mumble "I didn't even get to the good part."

"N-not that! We mean it's highly inappropriate for you to be dreaming of... this! All of this! All of US!" Luna yelled, extending one of her wings to the scene and waving it in a circular motion.

"Now, when you say us, do you just mean you, or do you mean the whole group?" you asked, never sure with the royal we talk.

"The whole group!" Luna bellowed. "For crying out loud Anon, we can see our sister's marehood!" Luna glanced back at the group, trying to avoid the open showing of her sister's exposed sex, as she took better notice of the others. "And really? Chrysalis? She kidnapped you!"

"Yeah, well, she's also been hitting on me a lot." you grumbled. "Seriously, bitch was bobbing on three of my fingers the other day... yesterday? Fuck if I know, I'm sleeping. Either way, she pretty much throatfucked my fingers and has been making numerous passes at me. Probably why I was having this dream anyways."

"What about Cadance!? She's a married mare!" Luna chastised you for including her spoken for niece.

"Like someone already being in a relationship has ever stopped anyone from lusting after them." you argued, rolling your eyes like it was obvious. "Hell, if you saw the stash of unsatisfied housewives porn I had on my computer, you'd know that her being married is probably why she's in this dream."

Feeling the trend, Luna let her head droop a bit, then motioned her wing toward Twilight. "And we suppose Twilight is tied up because you wish to have angry relations with her?"

"It's called hatefucking, but yeah, you're catching on." you acknowledged, giving her a smile and two thumbs up.

"You... You really have no regrets over any of this, do you?" Luna inquired.

"Oh no, I'm full of regret right now." you admitted, pushing yourself to your feet and walking past Luna to pick up your towel. You didn't bother putting it on though, making Luna avert her eyes. "Because now that I think about it, I had a lot of porn on my computer. Like, more than just unsatisfied housewives porn. Porn that will ruin my life if anybody checks my computer. And since I've been gone for over two weeks now... yeah, I'm probably better off staying in Equestria."

"This is a nightmare." Luna stated, burying her face into one of her wings.

"No, it's a wet dream" you corrected. "Or at least, it was until you stepped in... but you know, you can still fix that."

Pulling her wing away and looking at you with the intensity of a thousand burning... moons, cause Celestia already called dibs on suns, Luna said "This is serious, Anon!"

"So am I! Come on, I don't even need the whole thing. Just a blowjob will do." you bartered, gesturing toward your junk. Your ego was still swollen and hard.

"No, Anon, we mean we came into your dream to warn you!" Luna replied, trotting past you and waving her wing. A current of magical aura made the dream versions of the princesses and Chrysalis disappear. Now clear of bodies, Luna hopped onto the bed and turned around, laying on her stomach to face you with stern eyes. "Anon, you... you really messed up the negotiations."

Sighing, you joined Luna on the bed, letting your legs dangle off the edge while resting against the comfy mattress to stare at the ceiling. "I sorta figured. Honestly, for as shitty as I can be, I have to admit that was not my crowning moment... at least for ponies. The Changelings love me for that shit."

Looking solemnly at the floor, Luna said "We came to your dream because, in the off chance you were enchanted, your mind should still be your own here. Hearing you say that though, we now know that everything Strong Words said was true."

"Did he mention my massive ego? Tell me he mentioned it, because that was true then!" you quickly spat, rising up to stare her in the eye like a madman.

"Anon... you're literally naked in front of us right now. We can see your 'ego'." Luna pointed out.

"... so, what do you think? Pretty impressive, right?"

Choosing to ignore your question, if only to punish you for interrupting, among other things, Luna continued. "Why would you even take part in the negotiations? Strong Words said you tried to offer up Ponyville and Twilight Sparkle. You should have been on our side."

Huffing, you flopped back down and closed your eyes. Sorta weird that you could close your eyes in a dream, you expected to be, like, omniscient in it. "I don't know. I was mad? Stressed? Desperate?" you rambled off a list of excuses. Cracking your eye to look at Luna, although your position gave you more a look at her flank than her face, which you did not have any problems with, you threw out "I mean, I was already dragged into a world that wasn't my own with no idea as to whether I'll ever be able to go back or not, then I got kidnapped and spent a week in this shitty hive, pretty much sleep deprived, sexually harassed, and pretty much malnourished cause I can only keep so much of their food down. I know throwing Ponyville under the bus wasn't cool... I might even be willing to acknowledge throwing Twilight out there wasn't acceptable either."

Luna didn't say anything for a moment, simply staring at you in your pitiful state of recognition, like she could see just how much you knew you fucked up. Then, she extended the wing closest to you out and lay it over your body. It was just a dream, and so you now recognized that all the sensations you were supposed to feel weren't there, but something about the gesture still felt good.

"Anon, nopony will fault you for feeling the way you do right now. Even though we're all here for you, we can only imagine how lonely you feel without your old friends and family around." Luna consoled you.

"Nah, not really. They were all a pain in the ass anyways. Honestly, I feel like I just traded one miserable life for another... but hey, this one's at least full of talking animals and subtle sex jokes." you stated, giving a smile to show how totally cool with things you were.

"Anon, there is nothing 'subtle' about you." Luna corrected.

"... like... my penis?"

Luna rolled her eyes, but actually had a slight smile as she did so. "Yes, like your penis."

"Yes!" you cheered, pumping your fist in victory.

The smile slipped off of Luna's face, returning to the look of concern. "But Anon, outside of the numerous emotional problems you're suffering from and clearly trying to hide with excessive amounts of jokes and insults at the expense of others, this isn't good."

"You sure know how to capture everything I'm about in one sentence." you complimented, only to be totally ignored so Luna could continue her tirade. Another emotional problem you will bury in humor. Maybe at Ap's expense when you wake up.

"Strong Words didn't just tell Celestial and myself, but the entire court. Honestly, the majority of nobles in Canterlot, as well as Ponyville residents, believe you're too selfish and volatile to hoof even one pony over." she explained, quickly bringing Strong Words and the rest of the nobles to the top of your shit list. The Ponyville residents... well, you fucked them over first.

"So I guess you guys won't be agreeing to any of Chrysalis' demands then." you sighed.

"Correct, but not because of the nobles." Luna said, earning an inquisitive look from you. "We are the princesses, the leaders of Equestria, and the ones that make the final calls on everything. We could totally dismiss the nobles if we so chose." Luna explained, giving a noncommittal wave of her hoof like they were insignificant to the whole process, which they may as well have been. "The issue is that, because of the direction Chrysalis took your... interruption during the negotiations, she's become completely unreasonable."

"Right, the settlement thing... you know the Changelings said they wanted to name it in honor of me? I was kinda honored, but the name they had for it made it sound like a damn concentration camp... which I guess it technically was." you acknowledged, considering what it was going to be used for.

"Exactly. Originally, we were willing to provide some ponies, be they prisoners who have failed to be rehabilitated, or even those who are without any other meaning in their lives and willing to be turned over with their names remembered for their sacrifice, but now we're talking about entire generations of ponies that will be nothing more than cattle. That's not an option." Luna elaborated her position on the matter.

"Yeah, I figured as much." you sighed, putting one of your hands on the wing over your body and running your fingers through it, wishing you could actually feel the feathers. "So what should I prepare myself for? Hostage for life? Because if Chrysalis knows that you guys aren't gunning for me anymore, I'm pretty sure she's just going to rape me. Like, pin me to the wall and mount me like there's no tomorrow."

"We really do not need that visual right now. We are still dealing with what you had going on before our arrival as it is." Luna groaned, placing her hooves to her head and massaging it, although you were doubtful it would help in a dream. Then again, she was the dream master and all that, so maybe it would work out.

"I'm just saying, she may be the one that's part pony or whatever, but she'll be riding me like a horse." you insisted, feeling a twitch in your shaft at the thought. Why did you feel that and not the feathers? Dreams were fucking weird.

"Moving on." Luna interjected, not wanting you to keep rambling on, because god knows you would if given the chance. "We haven't given up on you, it's why we came to you tonight. It's just... going to be more complicated than simply negotiating for it."

Intrigued, you pushed yourself into a seated position to address the princess. "What are we talking about? Secret spy mission to get me out? Full on assault on the hive? You and the other princesses flying in and combining magical energies in a rainbow death beam to wipe out the hive?"

"We... that's... just no." Luna declined, shaking her head as if disappointed in your thought process. "Look, we cannot tell you exactly what we are planning, just in case you end up revealing the plans by accident." You opened your mouth to protest, but then thought it over, and could only shrug. That seemed like a you thing to do.

"So, why did you come here then?" you asked.

"Because it might take some time for things to come together, but we didn't want you to think we abandoned you. Heavens forbid you ended up taking your own life in despair." Luna answered.

"Whoa, huge jump thinking I'm going to commit suicide." you stated, almost offended by the thought. After all the shit you'd been through at this point, even before coming to Equestria, you hadn't attempted to off yourself yet and weren't planning on it. "If anything, I'd probably find the secret to eternal life, just to spite everyone for ditching me."

Oddly enough, something about your declaration seemed to comfort Luna, giving you a warm smile and running her wing over your body. "We believe you'd do just that. Perhaps we should have left you to your own devices, so you could be immortal, like us."

Chuckling, you grabbed the wing, pushing and prodding it to make it stretch and contract. "Maybe, but then I'd be all pissy thinking nobody wants me around... although... I would be balls deep in your sister at this point... fuck, maybe you shouldn't have come here."

Rolling her eyes, Luna swung her wing out, knocking you back on the bed. "Would you get over that? We are the ones that should still be angry over that!" she said with a huff, jumping off the bed and giving her limbs a stretch.

"How do I get over that? Shoot, I'd probably have moved on from her and be blowing a load in you!" you argued, shaking your fist at her, although the anger just wasn't in it.

"We are more than our sister's 'sloppy seconds' as you would call it." Luna stated flatly.

"Ooooooh, I see. You're upset you weren't up first." you chuckled, standing up with her. "Didn't Strong Words mention the fact that if I had to choose just one of you, it was going to be you over your sister?"

"He may have mentioned a few things like that, if only to present reasoning to the rest of the nobles how incredibly crass you are, as well as maybe irritate our sister into not wanting to help you." she admitted, a somewhat cheeky grin showing how pleased she was that someone preferred her to her sister for once.

"Well I have some strong words for Strong Words, but I have a hard cock for you." you stated, placing a hand on Luna's head, running your fingers through her mane, while giving a wiggle of your hips to bring attention back to your dick. If anything, you were insulted it'd been on display the entire time and wasn't the focal point of the conversation, but you'd forgive Luna.

A snort and a roll of the eyes told you Luna was less than ecstatic at the offer, but she seemed to nuzzle into your touch. "Such a charmer, it's probably why Chrysalis is so enamored with you." she muttered, closing her eyes to just savor the light scratches to her scalp you gave.

"I can't help my animal magnetism." you said as though it was a burden. Sort of was considering the Chrysalis thing as Luna pointed out, but you'd be damned if you didn't love the attention. "So... about that blowjob..."

Luna opened her eyes, giving you another hard look at the persistence... but didn't say no. Instead, she averted her gaze, looking behind herself like she was making sure nobody else was around. "Well... if only to raise your spirits, we suppose we might be able to assist you."

Fuck yes! Dream sex with the Princess of Dreams totally counted! You were going to brag to everyone about it when the time came, especially to that asshole, Strong Words. When's the last time his dick's been in the mouth of a princess? Oh, never? Yours was in Luna's mouth just last night, hah!

With bated breath, not that you needed to breath in the dream, you watched as Luna slowly began to lower her head to your waiting appendage, standing tall and proud for this moment. You were positive you could actually feel her hot breath wafting over it. Her lips parted to take it and then-

"ANON! WAKE UP!"

Suddenly, the world around you seemed to distort, the image of the room shifting like it was an earthquake, but the colors began to bleed into one another. Luna herself seemed to hold form, but was being drawn away from you, and more importantly, your penis!

"It looks like they're waking you up." Luna declared, looking around the landscape as it started fading into black, totally forgetting about what she was just going to do. Giving you another concerned look as the distance between the two of you grew, she said "Remember, we'll be back for you, just don't give up hope!"

Reaching out desperately for Luna, but not able to bridge the gap in the slightest, you cried out "Wait! Luna! The blowjoooooooob!"

You sat up, gasping for air, sweat rolling off your body like a waterfall. Your eyes darted around frantically, taking in the room around you. It was the same as always though, the dark little room made of bug vomit, the only furnishing being the bed you lay upon, also made of bug vomit.

Besides you, the only being in the room was Apocrita, whose violet eyes were looking at you with concern.

"Easy there Anon, take deep breaths." she instructed you, placing one of her hooves to your shoulder to try and relax you. "You were tossing about in your sleep and mumbling something, but it's okay, whatever it was, it was just a dream. You don't have to worry any-... are... are you crying?" she said, trying to comfort you, only to see a few tears rolling down your face, ready to break out into sobs.

"God... goddammit Ap... you fucking ruined everything." you choked out, earning a confused, almost hurt look from the Changeling. She looked away from your face, unsure of how to react, when she noticed-

"ARE YOU FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW!?"

Author's Notes:

I feel like such an asshole constantly teasing sex here... but it just makes me smile and wait like a Bond villain for the angry comments. I assure you, there will be actual sex, not that the focus of this is clopfic, but god knows it's going to happen eventually. Also started to go down a darker route with Anon for a moment, but I figured I'd save some of those aspects for another chapter.