It started when the phone rang.

Applejack looked up from her lunch and swiveled her ear in the direction of the ringing telephone. At first she thought that maybe, just maybe, it would be fine to ignore it. She'd had a long morning, after all, and her stomach was growling at her to eat before she went back to work. Maybe Big Mac or Granny Smith would pick it up.

The phone kept ringing.

Applejack grimaced and stood up. It seemed like nopony else would be able to answer for the moment. She ground her teeth together as she trotted into the side room where the recently installed telephone was shrieking like a newborn foal. She slid the headset on and pressed the answer button.

"Y'ello."

"Hello, this is Legit Collector from Equestrian Revenue Services. I am calling to inform you today that we have not received income tax from you for the years of two thousand and fifteen through two thousand eighteen."

Applejack raised an eyebrow, as she is wont to do, but didn't interrupt the person on the other end.

"In front of me I have a warrant for your arrest. If this matter is not resolved in a timely manner then the Equestrian government will seize all of your assets, including but not limited to, passports, identification, property, bank accounts, and you will serve up to five years in a federal penitentiary."

Applejack raised the other eyebrow.

"How do you wish to proceed?"

"Um... sorry, sir, Ah'm afraid you probably got the wrong number here." Applejack scratched the back of her neck. "Besides, Ah heard that the ERS don't ever call somepony. They do letters."

"We do not have the wrong number, and yes, sometimes the ERS does call ponies. May I start with your name?"

"Uh... Applejack."

"Okay Miss Applejack, listen to me very carefully. If you do not wish to settle this matter now, you can fight it in court. However, I wish to inform you that if you do so and lose, you will be subject to the penalties mentioned above."

"Okay. So how much am Ah owin' here?"

"You owe the ERS one thousand five... six hundred bits and thirty-fiv... seven cents."

"Uh-huh." Applejack rolled her eyes as it finally clicked. "Ah'm sure Ah do."

"Now before we continue I must ask you a few questions. Do you file your taxes yourself or do you have some third party do it for you?"

"Third party," Applejack replied, walking out of the house. "Filthy Rich has a real good tax lawyer and we always do our taxes through him."

"Alright, I must further ask you if this is merely a mistake on your part or if you intentionally are trying to fraud the Equestrian government?"

"Hmm." Applejack spotted Big Mac who was pushing their brand new lawnmower out of the barn. She waved to get his attention, and when she did, she pointed at the phone headset and mouthed 'scammer.' He smirked and nodded in reply. "Well, Ah guess it'd just be an accident. Not with me, though, with the lawyer. We just give him our tax stuff and let him do his thing."

"Very well, Ma'am. So now do you wish to resolve this matter here or take it into a court of law? I once again remind you that if we go to court and you lose, you will have all of your assets seized and you will spend no less than seven years in a penitentiary."

"Oh, Ah guess we could solve this now," Applejack said with a shrug. "Right now, as a matter of fact." She sat down next to the lawn mower. "Before we do, Ah have one thing ta say."

Applejack took off the headset, placed it right next to the lawnmower, and nodded. Big Mac nodded back and pulled the cord. The lawnmower roared to life with a nearly deafening noise that even made Big Mac and Applejack flatten their ears. She held the headset next to the lawnmower for a few seconds, then stood up and put it back on her head.

"How's that?" She only heard a weak gurgle from the other end. "Stop scammin' ponies. It ain't nice and it's gonna get you into real trouble someday."

With that, she pressed the button on the side and hung up.

Author's Notes:

I've had several of these conversations. I once told the scammer that I was Ted Bundy.