It started when the phone rang.

Rainbow Dash expertly slid the headset off of her nightstand with a wing and, with one quick motion, slid it over her ears. She didn't even look up from the Daring Do book she was in the middle of.

"Talk to me."

"Hello, this is Legit Collector from the Equestrian Revenue Services. I am calling you to inform you that you are currently under investigation for tax evasion."

Rainbow Dash grimaced and rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh."

"Now, before we begin, I must ask you a few questions. Have you ever been charged with defrauding the government?"

Rainbow Dash lazily flipped to the next page. "Well, I mean... heh, sort of. There was this one time... Oh. Oooohhh, do you mean the Equestrian government? No. No not the Equestrian government."

"Ma'am I need you to take this seriously. Now, you owe the Equestrian government three thousand, nine hundred and thirty-three bits and thirty-nine cents. Should you fail to pay this you will have all of your assets seized and you will spend no less than eight years in an Equestrian penitentiary."

Rainbow Dash flopped onto her belly and put a bookmark in her book. In the corner, Tank gave her a sleepy look and slowly yawned. "Why, when they're not the government that I...? Oh, right, for the taxes thing. For sure. Hey, if they do that, are they gonna take my signed Wonderbolts poster, too? It's from a team when I was a filly, so--"

*Click*

Rainbow Dash grimaced and rolled around so that she was on her back. "Great. That was gonna be fun." She glanced over at the phone and sat up. She reached up to her head to put the headset back, but froze when an idea crossed her mind. A wonderful, crazy, hilarious idea. She giggled to herself and pressed redial. The phone rang twice before it was picked up.

"Hello, Equestrian Revenue Services, how may I assist you?"

"Oh helloooo daahhhhling, I just received your call and I am in such a tizzy worrying about it!" She quietly sobbed and clutched at her chest. "I don't know what I shall do if I am dragged away by the authorities! Who shall take care of my sister? Who--"

*Click.*

Rainbow Dash grimaced again. Maybe she had been laying it on a bit thick. She hit redial once more.

"Hello, Equestrian Revenue Services, how may I assist you?

Rainbow Dash cleared her throat and sat up in her bed. "Well hello there, pard'ner, Ah jest gotta call from y'all 'bout some tax thing? Got me real worried 'bout goin' ta jail and stuff, so Ah wanna fix it right plum now!"

"Yes, I can certainly help you with that. Firstly may I start with your name?"

"Well, it's Apple J Apple, sugarcube." Rainbow bit her lip for a few seconds to stop herself from laughing, took a few deep, silent breaths, then continued. "Ah was talkin' ta mah lawyer and he said Ah should call you all up and get it fixed so that mah taxes are as right as a rainstorm durin' monsoon season!"

"Yes, I am certainly willing to assist you. What is your lawyer's name?"

"Well, his last name is Hunt, and his first name is Imak." Rainbow Dash shrugged as she walked out of her room and into the main hall. "Must be some foreign name."

"I see, Imak Hunt."

"Yeppers. That's darn right. Couldn't be more right 'bout that. Right as a stallion who put his left hoof in a saw." Rainbow Dash went into her kitchen and opened up her fridge where a large cantaloupe rested in the middle of the second shelf. She took it out and held it under one foreleg while using the other to grab a large vegetable knife out of the knife block.

"So now we have a few options if you wish to solve this matter now. First--"

Rainbow Dash knocked on her wood countertop a few times. "Oh, wait, sorry. Ah gotta go get that. Don't worry, Ah'll make 'em go away and then we can go back ta..." She slammed her hoof hard on the counter once more, getting the nice sound of somepony breaking down a door. "Wait... now hold on, get that knife away from me!"

"Ma'am?"

"No!" Rainbow put the cantaloupe on the counter and began repeatedly stabbing it with the knife. "Ugh! Blugh! Beleegh. She's killing me!" Rainbow moaned. "Send help! I don't, belgugh, wanna die!"

"M-Ma'am?"

Just then the doorbell rang. Rainbow Dash scooped up the messy remains of the cantaloupe and flew over to the door. She threw it open, revealing Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie Pie. She gasped and flopped down on the floor, giving the cantaloupe a few more stabs.

"Oh, thank Celestia you're all here!" She stabbed it again. "I was on the phone with a scammer and when I wouldn't give him all my money he sent a pony after me! I think he's still on the phone now!"

"What?!" the scammer cried.

"I... I see the light!" Rainbow threw the knife and cantaloupe to the ground and wrapped herself around Twilight's barrel. "He's killed me! Find him, Twilight. Find him and avenge me! Trace the call! Don't stop until he--"

*Click*

Rainbow chuckled to herself and stood up, wiping bits of cantaloupe off of herself. "Sorry. Scammer. Had to sell it a bit."

"Y-yeah," I see that," Twilight said, surveying the mess. She grimaced and wiped a little cantaloupe juice off of her side while Pinkie burst out laughing. "So, I take it you haven't made the fruit salad for the picnic we're doing this afternoon?"

"Oh, um..." Rainbow chuckled and uneasily rubbed the back of her neck, glancing back at the mangled remains of the cantaloupe. "I've... kind of started?"