“I’m back.”

The rest of the group looked up as Maud returned from de-milking herself.

“Got rid of your bukkake, then?” Trixie asked.

Maud just nodded as she sat back in her corner.

Starlight smiled brightly, “Okay, now that Maud no longer looks like she’s been gangbanged, shall we start the next round?”

“If you think that little bit of milk is what a mare looks like after a gangbang, you’re doing them wrong,” Maud deadpanned as she sat back in her place.

Trixie smirked, “That’s the voice of experience talking.”

Maud turned a blank look on her, “I don’t mind being caught between a rock and a hard place. Or several hard places.” The others all groaned at the horrific word play, not to mention the frankly mind-boggling images it conjured. “Besides,” she continued doggedly, “I doubt I’m the only pony here who’s been involved in group activities, right, Sunburst?”

Sunburst turned a deep, ruddy hue as Starlight and Trixie’s heads snapped towards him. “That’s right… you said you’ve done porn before!” Starlight cried.

“I implied it, I didn’t state-”

“So what does a mare look like after she’s been gangbanged then, Sunburst?” Starlight pressed, a sadistic grin spreading across her features.

Sunburst gave her a flat look and slowly raised an eyebrow, “Why does it have to be a mare who gets gangbanged?” He smirked proudly at the look on each mare’s face as their minds collectively broke. Even Maud’s mouth dropped open, her eyes widening into an expression more commonly seen on her fluorescent sister.

“I need to talk to Mud Briar as soon as he gets back,” Maud said bluntly, the gears in her degenerate little head whirring madly.

“Trixie… never knew she was into that…” Trixie mumbled, shuffling her hind legs and blushing furiously. “Did you… uh… have you ever…?”

Sunburst’s smirk widened into a malicious grin, “You’ll never know.” Satisfied that he’d efficiently turned the tables on his gutter-minded compatriots, he glanced over at Starlight, “Anyhoo, shouldn’t you be kicking off the next round, now?”

Starlight just gaped at him unblinkingly.

“Are you okay there, Starlight?” Maud asked.

Trixie rolled her eyes, “Great job, Sunburst. Way to break Trixie’s best assistant.”

“It’s not my fault she’s an incorrigible pervert!” Sunburst countered.

“I am not incorrigible!” Starlight shot, stirring from her shaft-filled daydream.

“Obstreperous?” Maud suggested

“That’s Trixie,” Starlight replied.

Trixie hurled a black card at her assistant, then added a cupcake for good measure, “Trixie doesn’t know what either of those words mean, and she doesn’t care. Lets just get on with the game already.”

Slowly wiping frosting from her chin, and giving Trixie a distinctly un-amused look as she did so, Starlight levitated the first question of the round. She sighed inwardly as she read the card, “Well, the answers for this one are going to be just swell. How am I maintaining my relationship status?”

Maud tapped her chin thoughtfully, “That depends, are you still mind-controlling ponies?”

“Of course she’s not, that’s why she’s still single,” Trixie quipped, earning herself a scorching glare that would send a more sensible pony running for the hills.

“That, and everypony thinks she’s Princess Twilight’s, er, consort,” Sunburst added.

Starlight mulled that over for a moment, then shrugged, “Eh, I’ve been called worse. Alright you three, do your worst.”

“Don’t tempt us,” Trixie shot.

A few moments later, three answers were placed on the floor in front of Starlight. “First one. How am I maintaining my relationship status?” She snorted and got to her hooves as she read the card, “My neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack!” Starlight turned and flicked her tail as she read out the last two, narrowly avoiding flashing said parts of her anatomy.

“Ooo, giving us a little show of your own, Starlight?” Trixie asked coyly.

Starlight shrugged and sat back down, “What can I say? I’ve got to get my thrills somehow.”

“By becoming an exhibitionist?” Sunburst asked.

“Like you can talk, mister porn-pony,” Starlight shot. “Next answer. How am I maintaining my relationship status?” She sighed as she read the next card out tonelessly, “Alcoholism.”

Sunburst winced at that one, “That has somewhat… dark, implications.”

“You’re not wrong there,” Starlight replied, tossing it away and levitating the next answer. “How am I maintaining my relationship status? Serfdom.”

“I thought you didn’t mind-control ponies anymore?” Trixie asked slyly.

Starlight just smirked, “Eh, these days I only do it to the perverts that enjoy it. Who had the neck, back, pussy and crack?”

“I’m pretty sure almost everypony in this cave does, but the card was mine,” Maud replied.

Starlight floated the card over to her, “Here you go. Your turn, Trix.”

“Yep,” Trixie chirped as she picked up a question, “ooo, this could be interesting. What are the Great and Powerful Trixie’s parents hiding from her?”

Contrary to Trixie’s hopes, the other three just sat and stared at their cards, frowning and grumbling as they flicked through them. After a few minutes the answers were plopped in front of her with a lack of any enthusiasm whatsoever.

“Going by your faces, Trixie’s just going to go ahead and assume that your cards for this are shit, so let’s just get this over with. What are my parents hiding from me?” She picked up the first answer and rolled her eyes, “The Prench. Yep, shit cards.”

“Hey, look, even Trixie is right about things sometimes,” Sunburst quipped.

“Why don’t you make like Mud Briar and shit yourself?” Trixie shot back.

“Not all over the picnic spread,” Maud cut in.

“Doesn't he have to get a blowjob for that first, anyway?” Starlight asked.

“Only if his cocksleeve wants to give him one,” Trixie replied slyly, getting a flat glare in return. “What are Trixie’s parents hiding from her? Spaghetti? Again?” She raised an eyebrow at that one, “O…kay… and, last answer. What are my parents hiding from me? The cool refreshing taste of fizzy apple cider.”

Starlight sniggered behind her hoof, “It sounds like your parents hate you.”

“Me and papa get along great, I’ll have you know,” Trixie replied with something approaching dignity. “Meh, spaghetti wins. Who had that one?”

“Yay! I finally got another point!” Starlight cried gleefully, clapping her hooves together. “Steady on, ponies, I’m not out of the game just yet!”

“You’ll have to utterly dominate the rest of the game if you want to have even a chance of winning,” Sunburst pointed out.

“It’s Starlight. If anypony can pull off a tide of amusing bullshit when she’s in trouble, it’s her,” Maud deadpanned as she picked up her question. “Check me out, yo, I call this dance move blank.”

“The bowel blaster!” Starlight cried, shoving a hoof in her mouth and pumping it rhythmically.

“That’s the wrong orifice,” Maud replied, raising a hoof, “here, let me show you how it’s done.”

“I-I’m good! Let’s just get those answers out, shall we?” Starlight said quickly.

Maud managed an attempt at a smirk as the others sifted through their cards. After a fair amount of shuffling, and a few wary glances at Maud’s hoof from Starlight, three answers were placed in front of the lone earth pony. “Check me out, yo, I call this dance move racism.”

“Um, how?” Sunburst asked bemusedly.

Maud shrugged, “I don’t know, I’m not great at dancing. I am good at racist jokes though, after all, I’m the only pony here who isn’t… horny.” A chorus of groans greeted that particularly awful pun, shortly before a cream-pie (of the food variety) greeted her face. After wiping sticky white stuff off her face for the second time that night, Maud picked up the next answer, “Check me out, yo, I call this dance move licking things to claim them as your own.”

Sunburst perked up at that, “Oh, that sounds fun. Which of you wants to get your clitoris claimed?”

Starlight instantly spat out the mouthful of fizzy cider she’d tried to drink, while Maud arched an eyebrow with glacial slowness. Trixie just gave him an uncertain look, as if she wasn’t quite sure whether he was being serious or not… or how she’d respond if he was.

“We’re not starting an orgy,” Maud cut in. “Not unless Mud Briar is here. Check me out, yo, I call this dance move not reciprocating oral sex.” She stared at the card for a moment, then tossed it back into the box in apparent disgust, “That’s just mean. Licking things to claim them wins, who had that one?”

“Trixie did,” Trixie replied. “And does it count as an orgy if the rest of you are only watching?”

Sunburst rolled his eyes, “No, Trixie, that’s what we call porn.”

“You would know,” Starlight shot.

“Hmmm, indeed I would,” Sunburst smirked as he picked up the last question of the round with his magic. “What’s a mare’s best friend?”

“Her vibrator,” Starlight and Trixie both said in unison.

Sunburst sighed with resignation, “I suppose I should have seen that one coming.”

“Maybe you still can, later. After all,” Trixie smiled and fluffed her mane, “Trixie does like to put on a show.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Starlight said firmly, glaring at Trixie as Sunburst blushed yet again. “Just get your answer ready you little perv.”

“Like you’ve ever complained,” Trixie retorted, flicking her answer over to Sunburst. Starlight and Maud quickly followed suit.

“Here we go, let’s see what each of you thinks a mare’s best friend is.” Sunburst picked up the first answer with a flourish, then grimaced as he read it, “How far I can get my own penis up my butt.”

“Oooo, how far can you get your dick up your own butt?” Starlight asked.

Sunburst sighed, “I’m going to assume that I can’t do it at all.”

“You’ve never tried?”

“No. And I have no intentions of doing so, either,” he muttered, evidently not interested in self-boning.

“Awwww.”

“Pervert. What’s a mare’s best friend?” Sunburst continued. He smirked at the next answer and read it out in the sing-song voice beloved by all fairytale bards, “A gossamer stream of jizz that catches the light as it arcs through the morning air.”

“Oh, wow,” Starlight grinned.

“Its not perfect until its splashed on a rock,” Maud cut in.

“Either that or your ass,” Trixie quipped.

Maud almost smirked, “What’s the difference? Both can be used to break a stallion.”

“That's... disturbing,” Sunburst said, giving her a concerned look. “A-anyway… what’s a mare’s best friend? My genitals.”

Trixie broke into a giggling fit as Starlight tried to hide a snort behind a hoof and failed miserably. Maud, for her part, privately wondered which of the two horned hussies was going to try to find out for themselves first.

Sunburst rolled his eyes as the two kept laughing, “Yeah, yeah. Gossamer jizz wins.”

“And Trixie’s winning streak continues!” Trixie cried happily, pumping a hoof in the air.

Starlight rubbed her chin thoughtfully, “Hmmm, that makes things interesting.”

“How so?” Maud asked.

“Well, there’s no way I can win this now, but that last point makes a three-way tie between the three of you.” Starlight grinned evilly as the three tried to stare each other down. “Which of you fuckers is ready for the last round?”

Author's Notes:

One last round to go, and at this point it could go one of three ways (or end in a three-way, who knows?).

Enjoy!

Starlight- 6
Trixie- 10
Maud- 10
Sunburst- 10