After a short break so the group could eat without either hurling it back up or running the risk of laughter-induced choking, the four picked their cards back up and prepared to resume the game.

“Is everypony ready to violate their sanity a little more?” Starlight asked.

“What sanity?” Sunburst muttered under his breath.

Trixie snorted, “Sanity is over-rated, now stop complaining. Trixie has a game to win.”

“Try and win,” Maud shot.

Grinning at Trixie’s scowl, Starlight pulled out the first question of the round “What’s there a ton of in heaven?”

There was a brief rustling of cards before three answers were pushed over to her.

Flipping over the first one, Starlight raised an eyebrow as she read out, “Bat-ponies on vacation?”

“Bat-ponies?” Sunburst smiled and stroked his beard idly, “I’ll have to work harder on getting into heaven then.”

“Good luck with that while playing this game,” Maud said flatly.

“Oh, right.”

Starlight smirked at the slightly crestfallen look on her childhood friend’s face, “Got a bit of a fetish there, Sunburst?” Sniggering at his splutters as he vainly tried to deny it, she flipped over the next card, “What’s there a ton of in heaven… spectacular abs.”

Trixie just tilted her head, “Well… probably?”

“And the last one… huge biceps,” Starlight frowned down at the answers, “Well given that Bulk Biceps and Big Mac are still alive I think those last two seem unlikely, so I’m going to go with bat-ponies.”

“Ha! Trixie is in the lead once again!”

“For all of thirty seconds,” Maud quipped.

“We shall see about that,” Trixie scowled as she dealt the cards out, then grinned as she looked at the question, “Oh this should be good. What will always get you laid?”

“Enslaving a village?” Sunburst shot.

Starlight opened her mouth to say something scathing, then closed it as she realized he had her there.

Trixie snickered behind her hoof, “Come on, get your answers in.”

The other three swiftly complied, Starlight tossing hers with a little more venom than was strictly necessary.

“Now now,” Trixie chided as she grabbed the first card, “What will always get you laid? Getting married, having a few foals, buying some stuff, retiring to the south of Prance and dying.”

Sunburst rubbed a hoof under his chin, “I’m not really sure how that’ll get you laid?”

“I guess if you’ve had foals you’ve already gotten laid,” Maud replied.

Trixie just sighed and grabbed the next answer, “What will always get you laid? Peeing a little bit.”

“Kinky,” Maud supplied

Starlight grinned at that, “Heh, the girls through the mirror asked us about that. Watching Sunset try to explain pony sexuality was hilarious.”

“Aww, Trixie wishes she could have seen that,” the magician giggled as she grabbed the last card, “What will always get you laid… uh…” She frowned at the card, holding it out in her magic as if it were toxic, “King Sombra.”

Sunburst threw a disgusted look at the card, “I suppose dark magic and mind control would work. You would know wouldn’t you, Starlight?”

“Hey I never mind controlled them!” Starlight retorted, then winced, her eyes darting around sheepishly, “At least… not for that.”

“With a plot like that Trixie doubts you had to,” Trixie added, ignoring the school councilor's blush, “Trixie thinks she will go for the peeing on that one, who’s was that?”

“Mine,” Sunburst replied.

“Here you go.”

“My turn,” Maud slipped a question off the stack, “But before I kill you, Daring Do, I must show you blank.” Maud stared down at the card in her hoof, “And I want you to read out your own answers, doing your best villain impression.”

“So… just behave like ourselves?” Starlight asked.

“Hey, I’m not a villain!” Sunburst growled.

“You’re a closet pervert, same difference,” Trixie shot, earning herself a glare.

Once everypony was ready Maud nodded to Starlight, who rose to all fours. An unearthly glow surrounded her body as she levitated herself off the ground, her voice echoing powerfully through the grotto, “But before I kill you, Daring Do, I must show you…” There was a bright flash as a set of photographs appeared in mid-air, “Pictures of teats!”

Sunburst and Trixie burst into laughter at that, Trixie in particular giggling as she flailed a hoof in the direction of the teat-pics.

“Why do you even have those photos?” Sunburst chuckled.

“Twilight wanted reference material for her books and she didn’t want to try and sneak into Trixie’s wagon while she slept, too many explosives,” Starlight replied.

“Why not use photos of her own teats?”

“She tried, but she couldn’t quite get the aim right on the camera,” Starlight sighed as she teleported the photos away again, “At least, that’s what she told me. Okay, Trixie, you’re next… Trixie…?”

Trixie was sat on her haunches, gaping at the two as if they were utterly mad. It was only when Starlight poked her with an éclair that she finally roused herself, “That does it! The next time I get a chance I’m going to ransack that library and find the books you’re talking about!”

“I doubt Twilight will let you read them so easily, you’ll have to sneak in.”

“Fine!” Trixie spat, “In the meantime Trixie shall just have to win this game.” She flicked her hair and rose up onto her hind legs, throwing her forelegs wide, “But before the Dark and Terrible Trixie kills you, Daring Do, Trixie must show you…”

The was a puff of smoke and suddenly Trixie’s hat and cloak were gone, replaced with a miniskirt, blouse and tie. A stereotypical slutty schoolgirl outfit.

“A much younger mare!”

Sunburst snorted at that while Starlight just covered her eyes with a hoof.

“Okay, that’s just wrong.”

“Really awful,” Sunburst added.

With another poof Trixie’s outift disappeared and her trademark cloak and hat returned as she sat back down with a petulant snort, “Hmph, let’s see you do better.”

“Gladly,” Sunburst smiled slightly and took off his glasses, setting them down on the blanket as he smoothed out his mane and beard with his magic. When he looked back up his expression had changed, his eyes cold and hard and his mouth set in a grim line. He stood and strode slowly around the group in a tight circle, regarding the three mares with a malevolent sneer that rivaled that of Queen Chrysalis.

“But before I kill you… Miss Do…”

Trixie and Starlight unconsciously shuffled closer together at the sound of his voice, a harsh whisper that sent chills down their spines. They both squeaked in fear as he suddenly lunged forward, staring them in the eyes.

“I must show you… just how bad my daughter fucked up her dance recital.”

The tension snapped instantly as the two unicorns let out a squeal of laughter. Even Maud’s lips twitched at the sudden shift in tone.

“Oh wow, that was brilliant, Sunburst!” Starlight gasped.

“Eh, I have my moments,” he grinned, trotting back to his spot and retrieving his glasses.

“Apparently. I’ve never seen you act like that before.”

Sunburst just shrugged, “I don’t really do it very often. It does come in handy when doing bondage play though.”

The other three just stared at him blankly.

A crimson blush spread across the lovable dork’s face as he realized what he’d just said, “So… uh… who won that round?”

Maud just wordlessly pushed the card over to him, then passed him a question card too.

Tugging on the collar of his robe, Sunburst brushed a layer of sweat off his forehead as he read out the question, “Okay, here we go… um… yes… okay here we go. Equestrian Rail apologises for the delay in train service due to blank.”

“Somepony tied up on the tracks?” Trixie smirked.

“Don’t tempt me,” Sunburst shot back.

Starlight raised an eyebrow as she thought, “I think that’s actually something Twilight does to her in volume four.”

“Wait, WHAT!?” Trixie screamed.

“Or was it volume eleven?”

“Maybe we should just get our answers ready before Trixie has an aneurysm,” Maud suggested.

Shortly, and with much eye-twitching on the part of a certain stage magician, three answers were lined up in front of Sunburst.

“Right. Equestrian Rail apologizes for the delay in train service due to… my abusive colt-friend who really isn’t so bad once you get to know him?”

Starlight sighed heavily, “What’s Blueblood done this time?”

“Existed?” Maud quipped.

“Next, Equestrian Rail apologizes for the delay in train service due to…” Sunburst flicked over the next card and raised an eyebrow, “Glory-holes.”

“That could definitely interfere with train times,” Starlight muttered, blushing slightly.

“Trixie agrees,” Trixie agreed, sporting a blush of her own. Even Maud was looking a slightly rosy tint of grey.

Trying to ignore the rather perverse implications of the mares’ increased blood flow to their cheeks, Sunburst bravely soldiered on with the last answer, “Equestrian Rail apologizes for the delay in train service due to… oh for fuck- a bowl of mayonnaise and pony teeth.”

Trixie’s cheeks bulged at that, her cheeks rapidly switching from red to green, “Blrgh, not again…”

Starlight grimaced in disgust, “What. The. Actual. Fuck.”

“I had crap cards,” Maud deadpanned.

“Well there’s a boner-kill,” Sunburst muttered, “Who had the glory-holes?”

Trixie spat a mouthful of… something… behind a rock and held up a hoof, “Trixie… did…”

“Congratulations, Trixie. You’re in the lead.”

“Trixie… urgh… doesn’t really give a shit right now.”

Author's Notes:

Another Chapter for your perusal.

Sorry about the delay, hopefully once Christmas is out of the way I can really increase my rate of posting for this fic and get started on the sequels/spin-offs.

Comments and Criticisms are appreciated and, as always, thanks for reading!

Starlight- 3
Trixie- 7
Maud- 5
Sunburst- 5