Starlight rolled her shoulders as she dealt out the cards for the next round, “Okay, let’s see if we can make this round a little less depressing.”

“Or less traumatizing,” Sunburst muttered.

Ignoring him, Starlight flicked over a black card. The wide grin she cracked did nothing to reassure the others, “Here we go Trixie, this one was made for you."

“Oooo, do tell,” Trixie crooned.

“For my next trick, I will pull blank out of blank,” Starlight smirked, tapping a hoof under her chin, “In fact, this turn I want all of you to read out your own answers, Trixie style!”

Maud almost raised an eyebrow, “Including the ridiculous titles?”

“Including your own, ridiculous, made-up titles,” Starlight confirmed, struggling not to laugh as Trixie tried her level best to vaporize the two of them with a glare.

After a few moments, the three were ready with their answers.

“Hmph, Trixie supposes she must show the rest of you mere fillies what true showmanship is!” Tossing her mane, Trixie stood as she held up her cards in her magic, “For her next trick, the Unique and Unappreciated Trixie shall pull-”

Poof!

“Penis envy out of erectile dysfunction!” Trixie cried as she reappeared next to Sunburst, gesturing at his nether regions.

“Hey!” He blushed furiously and threw his hooves over his crotch as Starlight giggled.

“My turn,” Maud stood and held a hoof to her chest, “For my next trick, the Sweet and Seductive Maud will pull Songbird Serenade out of my fat daughter.”

Sunburst’s jaw dropped as Starlight and Trixie cackled like maniacs.

“Wait, wait, wait. So you’re saying your daughter ate Songbird Serenade?” Sunburst asked.

“Either that or Songbird has a strap-on and a food fetish!” Starlight shot, prompting a renewed squeal of laughter from Trixie.

Stifling his own giggles, Sunburst drew himself up, “And finally, for my next trick, the Hung and Traumatized Sunburst will pull ecstasy out of breezies!”

“Is that how they actually make it?” Maud asked.

“Why, do you want some?” Trixie smirked.

Sunburst tilted his head as he stared at Maud, “I’m not really sure I can picture what Maud would be like on ecstasy.”

“That’s easy, it’s Pinkie with a firmer rump,” Starlight clarified, then blushed as Maud turned to her, one eyebrow ever-so-slightly arched, “Anywaaaay… I, uh, I think Maud wins that one.”

“Wow, nicely done Maud! You out-Trixied Trixie!” Sunburst beamed at her.

“Impossible! The Great and Powerful Trixie refuses to be upstaged by a rock farmer!”

Starlight just shrugged, “Sorry, Trix, she had a funnier answer.”

“And a firmer rump.” Maud added.

Trixie sighed heavily, “Fine, whatever. Trixie is still in the lead.” She quickly dealt out the cards and picked up a black one, “Coming to Bridleway this year, blank: The Musical.”

Maud’s answer was in front of Trixie so quickly she could have sworn the earth pony had managed to teleport it somehow. A minute later the other two had added their answers to the pile. Shuffling the cards, Trixie pulled out the first one, “Coming to Bridleway this year…” She snorted as she read the answer, then collapsed in a fit of hysterical laughter.

“What? What does it say?” Starlight asked eagerly.

“Blow… Snrk… Blowing My Colt-friend So Hard He Shits: The Musical!”

Trixie was soon joined on the floor by Starlight, both rolling around in hysterics as Sunburst tried to cover both his blush and his giggles. Maud, however, ever the classy comedian, stuffed a hoof in her mouth and started pumping it in a very inappropriate manner. If the sight of their deadpan friend rhythmically blowing her own hoof wasn’t enough to throw the others into a fit of hysteria, the horrific, rippling fart sound she unleashed at the end certainly did the trick.

Both the game and the picnic were postponed for several minutes as the crystal grotto rang with the mad laughter of three demented ponies.

“Oh wow,” Trixie sighed, finally bringing herself under control.

“I think… Maud… wins this round,” Starlight gasped, “Purely for that… demonstration.”

“We’ve still got two answers left,” Trixie replied, though without much conviction. Hauling herself back into a sitting position, she glanced over at Maud, “By the way, was that your face or your ass?”

“Do we really want to know?” Sunburst asked.

Starlight made a show of sniffing deeply, “I’m guessing it was her face.”

Sunburst threw her a disgusted look, then shook his head, “Can we just have the next answer please?”

“Uh, yeah,” Trixie replied, giving Starlight an odd look of her own, “Coming to Bridleway this year, Bisexuality: The Musical.”

“Doesn’t that describe pretty much every musical?” Maud asked.

“Probably,” Trixie giggled, “And last we have…” She flipped over the last card, frowned at it for a moment, then shrugged and read out, “Coming to Bridleway this year, Just Touching Hoity Toity’s Hair: The Musical.”

Starlight snorted, “Yeah, no. First one wins.”

“Definitely,” Trixie agreed, “So who blew their colt-friend so hard he shat?”

“That only happened one time,” Maud replied as she held up a hoof.

Dead silence followed that little proclamation.

“You… actually managed to make somepony’s ass explode with a blowjob?” Starlight asked as she floated the card over to Maud.

Maud just shrugged and added the card to her little pile, “He had a bad stomach. In retrospect, I probably should have gone easier on him, but I’d found an Iridium deposit and I got a little over-excited.”

Starlight grimaced and shook her head, “Oh sweet Celestia there’s a mental image for you.”

“I’m honestly not sure if I should be horny or horrified,” Sunburst said sheepishly.

“Ugh… no… Trixie’s… gonna…” Her cheeks bulging, Trixie barely managed to dart behind a nearby rock before hurling her guts up.

Maud watched impassively as the magician’s stomach made it’s displeasure violently known, “I’d appreciate if somepony cleaned that up before you all leave.”

“It’s fine Maud, I’ll sort it out later,” Sunburst replied.

Starlight glanced at him in surprise, “Really? I’d have thought you’d be the last pony who could handle puke.”

Sunburst just sighed and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, well once you’ve had an Alicorn projectile vomit all over you, you kinda get used to it.”

“Oh, right, yeah. I bet Flurry does that sort of thing all the time,” Starlight nodded sagely.

“Flurry?” Sunburst frowned for a moment, “Oh, right! Yes! Flurry. Sure let’s go with that.”

Before anypony could respond to that Trixie ambled from behind the boulder, still looking a little green, “I’m never going to be able to look Mud Briar in the face after this. Okay, Maud, it’s your turn.”

“Got it,” Maud dealt the white cards out with a practiced hoof, then flipped over a question, “This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with blank.”

There was plenty of rustling and mumbling as the three unicorns flicked through their cards, but soon enough three answers lay face down in front of Maud.

After a quick shuffle she picked one out at random, “This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with a fart so powerful it wakes the dragons from their hundred-year slumber.”

“Nice, it’s good to see such sophisticated humor in this round,” Starlight chuckled.

Sunburst tapped a hoof on his chin thoughtfully, “I wonder if it’s actually possible to wake a dragon with powerful flatulence?”

“I suppose we could always ask Twilight if the Royal Canterlot Voice works from both ends?” Starlight suggested, “Either that or just get Maud to blow somepony.”

Maud rolled her eyes, “I told you that only happened once.”

“Trixie wishes you all painful deaths,” Trixie said flatly, turning green again and massaging her belly.

“Awww, we love you too Trix,” Starlight cooed.

“Bite me. What’s the next answer?”

“This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with…” Maud flipped the next card over and stared at it for a moment. She looked slowly around at each of the others before reading out, “Lactation.”

The others snorted at that.

“So Armageddon is going to be caused by somepony’s teats?” Sunburst asked.

Starlight shrugged, “Well, most ponies only lactate if they’re pregnant so…”

“Oh wow, can you imagine if Princess Celestia got knocked up?” Trixie giggled, “No wait! Princess Luna!”

Sunburst frowned at her, “You know, if you keep mocking Luna like that she’s going to turn up in your nightmares.”

“Oh please, the Great and Powerful Trixie does not have nightmares.”

“Keep telling yourself that Trixie,” Maud muttered, “Last one. This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with some peace and bloody quiet.”

Sunburst tilted his head as he pondered that one, “That’s… oddly poetic.”

“And entirely impossible as long as Pinkie is still around,” Maud added, “She’s actually got an ‘End of Days’ party planned already, just in case.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Starlight said as she rolled her eyes, “So who wins that round?”

Maud folded her forelegs as she thought, “I think the über-fart wins this one, who had that one?”

“Trixie did,” Trixie said smugly.

“Oh hey! That puts you back in the lead Trix!” Starlight said brightly.

“What do you mean, back in the lead?”

“Maud caught up to you in the last round,” Sunburst supplied.

Trixie turned to narrow her eyes at the earth pony, “I’m watching you.”

Maud glanced at Trixie, then down at her own flank, “Are you trying to stare at my rump too?”

Trixie spluttered at that, “I… you… but… argh! Sunburst will you please just pick the next question already!”

“Oh, uh, okay!” He couldn’t restrain a small smirk at Trixie’s incessant screeching, “Here we go. Fillies, I don’t need drugs to get high, I’m high on blank.”

There was much muttering as the three mares checked their cards, mostly along the lines of ‘crappy cards’. Eventually they each shoved a card over to Sunburst.

“Okay, last turn. Fillies, I don’t need drugs to get high, I’m high on being a mare,” Sunburst raised an eyebrow and glanced down at his crotch, “Really? You’d think I’d have noticed.” The others tittered as he flipped over the next answer, “Fillies, I don’t need drugs to get high, I’m high on yeast.”

“Yeast infections, woo,” Maud deadpanned, pumping a hoof in the air and earning a reluctant giggle.

“And finally, fillies, I don’t need drugs to get high, I’m high on the arrival of the pizza.” Sunburst grinned at the last one, “Pizza wins, pizza always wins.”

“And so do I,” Maud piped up, turning to stare at Trixie, “That means we’re tied again.”

Trixie returned her look with an evil grin, “Trixie is going to enjoy crushing you. Next round!”

Author's Notes:

Sorry about the wait folks, here's your next round!

Current scores stand at:

Starlight- 2
Trixie- 4
Maud- 4
Sunburst- 2

Comments and Criticisms are appreciated and, as always, thanks for reading!