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My Little Pony: Love is Confusing

by TheTwientist

Chapter 17: Alchemy

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The last dragon Rarity wanted to see that night was Spike. Well, not the last dragon, because most dragons were far larger and meaner than Spike was. Still, Rarity didn't want to see him.

But Spike would not go away. He gently poked Fancy Pants' leg. The stallion could not find him for several moments (and nearly kicked him at one point), but at last faced him and asked, "Ah, good sir, what may I do for you?"

"I need to talk to Rarity for a moment," he said. Rarity sighed. She couldn't say she hadn't been expecting it, but it was inconvenient nonetheless.

"Now, Spike, I'm sure it can wait a little bit," she said.

"It's really important," said Spike, looking her in the eye. There was something in his eyes, something unknowable, that told Rarity he was telling the truth.

"All right," she said, sighing much more. "I'll be right back," she said to Fancy Pants.

"I have to go get somepony else," said Spike, "but can you just wait by the dessert table?"

And with that, he was gone, leaving Rarity alone and confused.


The gala was loud. Very loud. Twilight, being a natural introvert, did not enjoy this. Nor did she enjoy seeing Octavia, who was playing in the quartet on stage.

Applejack and Luna had not come within ten feet of each other since they had arrived. This was understandable, Twilight supposed, as she didn't even understand why the two were together to begin with.

The one positive of the large crowds was that it was very easy to "accidentally" lose Trixie, and, once Twilight was away from her, she actually had a tiny bit of fun.

She was standing by the dessert table when she saw Pinkie and Rainbow hiding behind it.

"What's up, guys?" Twilight called. Rainbow rapidly shushed her and motioned for her to join them. With nothing better to do, she did.

"Been having a good time?" asked Rainbow. "Trixie's looking all over for you."

"Somehow, I'm not surprised," Twilight sighed. "So what are you guys up to?"

"We're gonna put sparklers on the cakes!" said Pinkie excitedly. Rainbow mouthed "Pinkie humor" and rolled her eyes goodnaturedly.

"Well, I could use a bit of excitement," said Twilight, surveying the dozens of cakes which were laid out on the table.


"Applejack, I need to talk to you," said Spike.

"Sure thing Spike, what is it?"

"I can't tell you right now," said Spike, "I have to go get somepony else. Can you wait by the dessert table?"

And then he disappeared into the crowd of ponies.

Applejack shrugged and headed for the dessert table. There was nopony else here except Rarity. The two said nothing to each other.

Applejack peered out into the crowd, looking for Spike. She saw no sign of him. "Ah wish he'd just hurry up," she muttered.

"Who?" asked Rarity. "A stallion?"

"Nah," said Applejack quickly, "just Spike. He wanted ta talk ta me about something."

"Me too!" said Rarity. "I've no idea what it is, though."

The awkward silence descended once more.


Something strange had caught Twilight's eye.

"Who made those cakes? Should they be gray like that?"

"I made 'em, Twilight!" said Pinkie as she pulled out the sparklers. "Applejack needed some baked goods for her catering thing, so I helped her out. I just made them the other day."

"The day you got kicked in the face by Trixie?"

Pinkie nodded her head.

" . . . oh no."


"Get your hooves off of her!" cried Trixie, shoving Pinkie backwards and spilling both Twilight and Pinkie's bags again. All three went flying, and ended up sprawled onto the ground.

A small red bag flew out of Twilight's hooves and landed right next to another red bag, slightly larger. Pinkie grabbed the larger bag with her other bags.


"That's why my experiments didn't work!" said Twilight, as Pinkie struck a match. "Pinkie! Put it down!"

"Put what down?" said Pinkie, moving the burning match towards the cake as she fumbled for a couple of sparklers.

"The match! Those cakes are full of nitroglycerin! They're highly flammable-"

Then the cakes exploded.


So that's the Chekov's gun. Betcha thought that was just a throwaway line in the description! But it wasn't, was it? Ha! Ha ha ha!

This was originally going to be part of the last chapter, but I figured it should be separated. But I didn't want to drag the story out, so I posted it tonight.

UPDATE: As of 9/21, I've retconned some more stuff into this chapter. I'll post a note at the beginning of the next section so people don't miss the new parts.

Next Chapter: Opposites Attract or the Opposite of Attraction? Estimated time remaining: 17 Minutes
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