I stashed the contract in the lockbox in Midnight's cockpit after scanning it into my computer. I had to fight down the usual pre-mission panic, but the familiarity of that feeling made me laugh in spite of myself. I found myself surrounded by unicorns and worried about hydras and dragons, but at least while worrying about planning things correctly I could convince myself that this was a normal mission.

Part of me wanted to take Midnight out, refine the PPC firing algorithm, march into the forest, and stop this cult before it got started. Without intel though I would never find them in the huge forest. Even then, they might have some sort of magic to kill me outright. I slumped into my chair and focused on the familiarity of my cockpit to calm myself before climbing out into the world again. This was not a time to play hero. I had to figure out how to work with the locals to get through this contract. Good pay, contact seemed on the level, just had to train their army and special forces, and we’d get out of this with literal piles of gold to show for it.

Ambassador Twilight Sparkle was waiting for me at the entrance to the hangar. Rainbow Dash had landed to join Applejack behind the ambassador. Exactly who I wanted to deal with right this very moment. I looked around, and added ‘alone’ to that statement as my team had made themselves scarce. I hid my disapproval by smiling professionally at our handlers. "Good afternoon Ambassador."

The Ambassador was clearly worried. Applejack was managing to hide outright apprehension behind a facade of country hospitality. I had seen Rainbow Dash on my radar during our training exercise, so I knew she had seen us in action, and she was just openly perturbed. The Ambassador replied cordially. "Good afternoon Commander. Princess Celestia tells me that you have reached an agreement."

"Yes, I find the contract very favorable, and the Princess tells me that it is very fair to the kingdom as well. You can transmute gold?" I couldn't prevent my curiosity from hijacking the conversation and my professional demeanor.

The ambassador nodded. "I don't understand why it is so valuable in your society."

I grimaced. "We use it quite a bit in our machinery. It has some useful properties." I tried not to spill the beans about electronics right off the bat. However this seemed to satisfy the Ambassador's immediate fears because she nodded and seemed to relax.

"Well I am glad you were able to come to a mutually beneficial agreement. In celebration of this event, I would like to give you and your unit a tour of Ponyville."

"Are we planning to stay here?"

The Ambassador nodded. "This is the closest town to the Everfree Forest, and so has the highest likelihood of being attacked."

I could see her dodging the subject, so I didn't press. She had a terrible poker face, and really did not handle panic well. "Please let me know when military intelligence suggests otherwise, ambassador."

"Certainly." Meaning 'that was easier than I expected'. I didn't know if she thought I was gullible or just unobservant. Either way, made it easier on me.

"Allow me to gather my men and then you can show us around."

“My friends and I will meet you at the entrance to the farm,” Twilight Sparkle replied. I nodded and went back inside Barn-Hangar B. "Atari, field trip. We're getting the tour. Dress appropriately, and I do mean wear clothes."

My radio buzzed a chorus of unenthusiastic rogers. I went up to my cockpit to put on a less formal looking jacket.

---

All six ponies that made up the Elements of Harmony were waiting for us, all with friendly smiles. They led us on the dirt road into town, each pointing out things of interest as they saw them. It was a town of a couple hundred. Terribly quaint. Large enough for some specialty shops. A bakery, a confectioner, a florist, a shop that sold sofas and pens for some reason. A bowling alley, some restaurants. The library of course. Some outlying farms that had regular stalls in the public market. The mayor herself greeted us at the town hall, making sure to welcome guests of the crown. I confess I wasn’t paying terribly good attention. I was getting a sinking feeling thinking about how this place and it’s residents would look as they ran screaming from the army with their town on fire.

Everyone we met seemed to take us as an interesting novelty, but not life changing. The entire experience left me waiting for the other shoe to drop. The expected panic over aliens or invading monsters or invading monster aliens never came.

"Ambassador, may I ask why everyone is so, ah, nonchalant about our presence?" My curiosity finally got the best of me in the middle of our tour.

"What do you mean?"

"I just expected aliens in war machines to draw more...how do I put this..."

"Darling, no offense, but you are hardly the strangest creatures to walk into this town," Rarity commented. "Between the invasions from the Everfree and the magical experiments gone awry, we would almost be more surprised if nothing happened here.” She laughed politely, then turned to Twilight Sparkle apologetically. “No offense, dear," she added.

"Um."

"Twilight, it's cool, this place was boring before you showed up. Now it's almost cool enough for me!"

"Thanks Rainbow," the Ambassador mumbled, humbled.

“So that’s why your brother didn’t seem too put off by us?” I asked Applejack. I hoped to prevent any more 'helpful comments'.

“Yup, y’all weren’t eatin’ the apples, no worse than any other day in Ponyville.”

"How often do you six have cause to use the Elements of Harmony?" Dan asked, speaking up after almost an hour in silence.

Twilight shrugged. "Not that often, once every few months or so."

"Fluttershy can tame most of the creatures we come across, including dragons!" Rainbow said with a look at the shy yellow pegasus.

"You tame dragons?" Hiro asked. She shrunk away.

"Um, I wouldn't really call it taming. He just didn't understand the situation," she said almost at a whisper. I looked at the ambassador with what must have been incredulity.

"Fluttershy can speak to most creatures. It's part of her talent," she clarified. I looked back at the yellow one, who hid behind her hair.

So the one who was afraid of her own shadow was a negotiator and linguist. Rainbow Dash was their scout, Applejack their brawler, though it sounded like Rainbow Dash didn't mind mixing it up. The Ambassador was the most talented mage the land had ever seen, so she ran support and artillery. Rarity wasn’t much of a fighter, but she did seem to have a lot of high society contacts and probably a bit of money, if her stories of forays into the fashion world were any indication. That really left the pink normal pony who was currently…

Pinky Pie was bouncing along on her tail like it was a spring. I knew for a fact that they were creatures of flesh and blood, and only the unicorns were magically talented. However the others seemed to take this in stride, as did the residents we passed. She knew everyone's name, and they knew her. No one passed her without a smile. I turned and asked the Ambassador quietly.

"How is she doing that?"

Twilight sparkle seemed to recoil in physical pain at the question, but she responded quietly. "We don't ask questions about Pinky Pie."

"Ah, I apologize."

"Oh no, there just isn't an answer." As we both turned to look at her, she stopped herself in midair, mid bounce, in complete disrespect to all known laws of physics, and went back to standing.

"Sorry Twilight."

"Don't worry about it Pinky Pie." The pink one resumed bouncing along, on her feet this time. Twilight sighed and shook her head, but she was smiling.

"She is also mildly pre-cognizant. I wouldn't call her ability reliable, but it is disturbingly accurate." I nodded, then looked at the ambassador questioningly. "Are you not trying to figure out what makes her an asset to our team Commander?" I nodded. Somewhere in this young ambassador's head was a sharp mind. I made a note to be careful around her. "She represents the element of laughter of the magic of friendship. She is very silly, but she brings smiles to our faces when we need them most. And she really does throw the best parties on this continent."

"Ah, morale officer." Twilight looked confused for the moment. "It is a standard military billet, keeping morale up is a necessary part of a functioning military unit. They also usually run food."

"Pinky Pie is also one of the best bakers on the continent."

"Then I completely understand her role."

Twilight leaned toward me and whispered. "Just don't say the word P-A-R-T-Y."

"Why?" I whispered back. Pinky Pie was somehow instantly between us.

"BECAUSE I GOTTA!" She giggled. "Sorry, I can't help myself! You aliens are gonna have the best welcome to the planet party ever!"

Morale officer indeed.

---

“What’s down that road?” I asked as we completed the loop of the town.

“That leads to the schoolhouse,” Twilight Sparkle said factually as we walked.

“Comin, Dan?” Applejack asked. I turned to see Dan standing at the crossroads looking around.

“Yeah, sorry.” He jogged a few steps to catch up. “So do you have a police force, or a royal guard detachment?”

Twilight shook her head. “Ponyville isn’t large enough to warrant a guard detachment. It’s close enough to Canterlot that if something big happens they can get here in a few hours.”

Dan nodded. “No police? Law enforcement?”

Applejack shook her head. “We pretty much get along here in Ponyville. Been that way since my family founded it.”

“You never have problems from the outside? Wasn’t that forest full of dangerous creatures?”

“Not that we can’t handle. We’re pretty capable of takin’ care of our own,” she said with hometown pride. Dan seemed like he was building to something, which was generally a bad idea, but he often had good points regardless. I let him keep talking.

“Alright. So who defends the schoolhouse in an emergency?” Ah. That was both important and probably going to be taken poorly.

Applejack’s eyes flew open. “The whole town’d show up if somethin’ went wrong.”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash cut in defensively. “I’d be there in ten seconds flat.”

“Is there an evacuation plan for when the army attacks?” Dan pressed.

“I thought you were the army,” Rainbow Dash said, glaring suspiciously at Dan.

“The dozen ponies we were with were too sure of themselves and their ability to take over the country with just us. There’s gonna be more.”

“There isn’t a war, unless you know of one.” The two edged closer to each other. Our tour group had stopped walking now.

“Rainbow, calm down,” Ambassador Twilight Sparkle said as she walked between the two. “We don’t have need for standing protection of Ponyville, it’s a nice place. A quiet place, certainly not one that needs war machines protecting it. We discuss our problems and solve them through diplomacy and friendship.” She looked at Dan oddly, then at me. I couldn’t tell if that was resentment or anger seeping into her voice.

I stepped forward. “My wingman meant no disrespect Ambassador. We are just trying to understand how best to keep everyone in this city safe.” He was as tactful as a brick, but he had a valid point.

“Please, ambassador, think of the children,” Dan somehow managed to say that with a straight face. I gritted my teeth, he usually broke out the snark about a minute before he lost his temper.

The Ambassador and her friends seemed to move closer together. “We will. Should there be an attack, the citizens of Ponyville will protect the children.” As ragtag as they were, the ambassador was their unanimously agreed leader.

Dan went to maximum snark. “By stopping an army with your bare h-”

I cut Dan off with a command and a glare as Rainbow Dash flared her wings and shouted something over the top of Rarity gasping while looking horrified and fainting. Pinky Pie broke in to stop Rainbow Dash and Applejack from yelling while Twilight Sparkle looked like she was getting a headache. Rolf reached in to lead Dan away with a massive arm around his shoulders.

I stepped toward our ambassador as the ponies calmed each other. “Thank you for the tour, Ambassador, we will be heading back to our hangars now.”

“If you need me, I will be conducting research in the library for the rest of the day Commander,” Twilight mentioned calmly. I smiled, she smiled, and our two groups parted ways.

I didn't like how the ambassador and the rest of the Elements had reacted to our weapons, or to our battlemech demonstration. There was always the risk that our display of technological superiority would be taken as a threat. It appeared that it was. We hadn't even been able to test the loud explosive weapons. My PR nightmare was slowly becoming a reality. To exacerbate the situation, Dan was being his usual charming self while somehow being right. I wasn't sure how much longer we would be able to sit in the sleepy town without starting an incident of our own.

---

To his credit, Dan made it all the way inside the hangar and out of earshot of the six ponies assigned to keeping us in line before he kicked a support beam with enough force to shake the barn. "I'm done. I'm fuckin done with these fuckin pacifist fags who think that hugs are gonna solve everything!" I simply folded my arms and waited for his outburst to burn out. "They don't want death machines, fine, don't fuckin hire me! These condescending pricks are going to suck my dick when this is over."

"All the gold bars you can carry," I reminded him quietly.

He allowed himself a quick glance at me. "Better make me the fuckin king too. Shitlords!"

I waited a few moments to be sure he was cooling off, and he seemed to be. He punched a different beam before resigning himself to pacing quickly across the hay covered ground. "Are they really worse to work with than Capellans?"

Dan turned and glared at the ground. "No," he replied after a moment, "no at least they believe their naive bullshit. I'll teach them what a mech is for and they're gonna worship the ground I fuckin walk on." He turned and stormed off to the Atlas, I presumed to check systems. He wasn't antagonizing the locals, so that was just going to have to be good enough for now. Dan's ability to focus was what made him one of the best mercenaries in the inner sphere. Allowing him the space to let off steam was just a factor of working with a laser focused personality.

He did have a point though, the idea that the cultists could be scared off seemed to be the prevailing one, at least in this town. I was fairly certain that Princess Celestia had hired me to protect the kingdom, but the ambassador and her friends seemed to think that we were superfluous. I wondered if she thought our loyalty had simply been bought. She sure didn't seem to believe that the conflict was going to be solved by direct combat. I sighed as I realized that letting these questions go unanswered for much longer was only going to cause real problems. It was time to have that discussion with the ambassador.

The walk to the Ponyville library was idyllic. The citizens of the town were just as friendly and welcoming to me as when I was being led around by the local hero. The birds sang, the flowers smelled wonderful, and not a single dictator bent on proving his loyalty to a master was ordering tax collection or public executions. No invading armies declaring right to the land by birth or might. I wondered if humans had ever lived like this.

"Oh hey Commander," Spike said as I walked in. He dropped his comic book, sprung to his feet in some representation of military attention, and saluted. I saluted back.

"At ease."

“Oh. Hello.” Rainbow Dash looked up from a comic book briefly. She glared at me, then seemed to decide that her comic was more important. Pinky Pie, reading over her shoulder, waved as excitedly as ever. I smiled and waved back.

"Twilight is in the basement. Didn't she just take you on a tour?" Spike started walking to a door and waved for me to follow.

"Yeah, but now I have some questions. I'm gonna make her earn her ambassador pay," I said with a grin.

Spike smiled, then turned around and looked at the floor confused. "Does she get paid? She always has money for food..." He shrugged and opened the door and called into the darkness. "Twilight?"

Our response was a startled squeal and a metallic clang followed by the sound of freely arcing electricity. That stopped after a moment and I suddenly felt dumb about hiding my batteries from the locals.

"Spike, what’s wrong?"

"The Commander is here."

"Hello Ambassador!"

"Well, put on safety goggles." The sound of tools on a workbench followed, and I got the impression that I was not going to get much more attention than that. I turned to smile at the dragon.

"Thanks Spike."

"No problem Commander." He smiled, seemed to take this reaction from her in stride, and went back into the main room.

I picked up a pair of safety goggles from the convenient table by the door and headed down the dark creaking stairs. I wasn’t sure what to expect from the Ambassador’s personal life, but it wasn’t this.

The room more closely resembled a mad scientist's laboratory than a workshop. The only natural light came from a single half window near the ceiling that must have been buried in the base of the tree trunk. Bubbling cauldrons and beakers covered tables. I thought I saw a primitive brain scanning device buried in the corner underneath a set of plans and a half finished kite or flying machine, I wasn't sure which. The ambassador was a closet mad scientist. An academic. I felt more confident about the upcoming conversation already. I could work with this.

The current experiment seemed to involve a Jacob's ladder and some sets of wires that led out through the window. I ducked under the leads and moved behind the ambassador at the table.

"I'm attempting to measure latent magic potential in the air," she mumbled to the room without looking up. "Several books talk of supposed ley lines where magic is stronger, so in order to test that theory I'm testing a device to measure static magic charges."

I observed her work for a moment, which involved taking copious amounts of measurements and documenting the results. "If you would like help, I could take notes rather than you using your magic to hold a pen. Isn't that messing with your data?"

"Yes, but I won't risk Spike getting hurt." She sounded like me when I was focused.

"Understandable, ambassador. I would be willing to help," I clarified.

She turned to me with a thousand yard stare, then startled. "Oh! Oh yes. I could use the help."

"Certainly."

I held wires and moved things for a few moments while she worked, then took the pen and clipboard when they started glowing.

"Right. Position A: no response. Maximum safe output."

"Got it."

She continued for a few minutes, moving wires around, making her horn glow, trying different lengths of wire, bends, twists and the like. I felt somewhat annoyed that she didn't seem the slightest bit interested in talking to me, but the strategist in me was happy to watch her work unrestrained so that I could learn who this supposed ambassador actually was.

The entire experiment seemed to be an exercise in frustration. Half an hour later everything was buzzing and humming just as it had been when I entered. Finally the ambassador sighed and dropped the wires. "This doesn't make any sense. This should be possible." She looked up and finally looked at me with a start. "Oh! You're still here."

"And here are your notes," I said as I put the notepad on the workbench.

She looked away sheepishly. "I'm sorry, usually it's just me down here and I get absorbed in my work."

"Quite alright, I do the same thing."

"Right, you mentioned that you enjoy changing configurations of your machines..." She trailed off as my presence reminded her of the seriousness of the outside world. I nodded and took the pause as my opening.

"Ambassador, I would like to apologize for any ruffled feathers this afternoon. My men are not the most well spoken, but please be assured that they follow my orders."

Twilight Sparkle nodded slowly, though she seemed hesitant to respond. "If I may ask, Commander Black, when would you order your unit to attack? When would you order them to attack in Ponyville?"

"When not doing so would endanger the kingdom, ambassador." At least she was willing to talk about the real problem.

She turned away and began shutting down her experiment. "What if there was another way?"

"Then I would expect you would take it before ordering my unit to engage." I was starting to see the 'ambassador' act for what it was. Time to earn my consultant pay.

"Me? Ah, of...of course." As the ambassador took off her lab coat and headed up the stairs I removed my safety goggles and followed.

"Certainly, I would not recommend such an action, 'mechs are not historically kind to small towns. I would recommend evacuation first if it had to happen."

"I suppose one does not reach the rank of commander without understanding the implications of such an action." She looked up at me as if to offer respect for my experience.

I didn't point out that 'commander' was really a self granted rank and that it served mostly to differentiate me from my men to those who didn't know our unit. I also didn't point out that I had met several high ranking officers who wouldn't hesitate to fire on a small town if it meant accomplishing their objective. I tried to banish the memory of bloody bodies littering the streets as the remaining former protesters ran screaming from my head.

"Civilian casualties don't get you rehired, ambassador."

"This really is just all about the bits to you." She turned around and glared openly at me.

As the memory faded I realized what I’d said. I’d offered that piece of wisdom as I stepped back into the main room. Rainbow Dash and Pinky Pie watched us wide eyed. I mouthed a silent ‘goddamnit’. This was not going in either the direction I meant it to or the direction I expected. 'Is that your problem with us?' I thought.

"I apologize, my sense of humor is rather dark. These machines can be dangerous, which is something that is always on my mind when working with infantry or working in urban environments. Certainly there comes a time when the only solution is to attack in those circumstances, but it is something that should be avoided."

Twilight looked like she was trying to decide to pick a fight or not. I guessed she chose not to. "Your machines...how does a society come up with that as a solution to conflict resolution?"

I nodded. "Advanced technology allows for one pilot to be as effective as a hundred infantry, while being far more protected. Mostly pilots of machines as ours are nobility or royalty, but I have run a successful enough business to purchase four such machines for my unit."

"Which gives you and your soldiers the same protection in combat as royalty."

"That's correct."

"And only by careful management of finances can you afford to keep that level of safety."

"Which leads us back to my obsession with getting paid."

"I see now." The solved mystery seemed temporarily more important than her initial concerns. That was an interesting tidbit for later.

"Are there any other types of machines that provide similar protection? Something more practical in design?"

"Several , actually. There are aerotechs which are a kind of flying machine. Those rely on speed for protection, but are much better at response time. Tanks are similar and usually more efficient. Those use wheels or tracks rather than legs. There are also four legged machines like ours, but those can be rare. Those use the same power source as our machines."

"As opposed to what?"

"Fuel powered engines similar to your train engines. When you run out of fuel in the fuel container, the engine stops, which takes a matter of hours or days. They are much cheaper, and in some ways less dangerous, but have much more limited running time and a greater need for supply lines. Ours only need servicing every few years, which allow for extended missions without supply lines."

"So how does an engine like yours work, exactly?"

"It's a little beyond me, honestly," I offered. "The technology has been kinda lost in our time. Suffice to say that there were…wars. The scientists were killed, and the factories and blueprints were destroyed."

"So nobody knows how?" She seemed shocked and appalled by this, and I guessed it was due to the loss of the knowledge.

"Oh, they find clues every once in awhile. They build them now. It's just not common knowledge. I personally don't know how."

Twilight looked devastated. "Not even a little?"

I sighed.

"You know about electricity?" She nodded her head uncertainly. I pondered. "Lightning?"

"Of course I know about lightning."

"On the inside of this is basically a lightning generator."

Twilight looked annoyed, and picked her greater curiosity. "Ok, so it runs on lightning…somehow. But what makes the lightning?"

"Nuclear fusion?" I grinned pathetically, then sighed when I was met with only a head shake.

"Ok…um…it's like…"

"Is it like making clouds?" Dash asked, putting down the comic book. "Clouds make lightning."

"No, different process, but same outcome."

"Is it like making cake?" Pinky Pie piped up excitedly.

"Sure, it's exactly like making cake," I deadpanned.

"LIGHTNING CAKE!" The pink one leapt three times her height in the air and squealed.

"Pinky…" Twilight was holding her head. A thought occurred to me.

"Actually...let's stick with the cake metaphor for a moment."

"What." Twilight looked like her headache was getting worse. Pinky Pie was suddenly sitting at a desk and taking notes. I had no idea where the desk came from.

"No, follow me for a minute here. It runs on putting things together with a…chemical reaction...to make new things."

"Like a cake," Twilight deadpanned.

"Exactly. See you have your flour and your eggs and your sugar, right? And you put them together, there is a chemical reaction, and you get a cake right? But not everything goes into the cake."

"Like the eggshells!" Pinky Pie was following along perfectly.

"Right, exactly. And the frosting."

"You can't forget to lick the frosting!"

"Not all of that goes on the cake," I agreed.

Twilight's eyebrow twitched. "How...does that make lightning?" She was trying so hard not to explode.

"Lightning cake," Pinky Pie corrected Twilight, and scribbled more notes. Twilight's eyebrow twitched again.

"The engine makes the…lightning cake, see, and everything that doesn't go into the cake gets turned into lightning. Thrown away. Burned."

"But what is the cake for?" Twilight knew that there had to be a point here, I could see it in her eyes. If there wasn't, it was going to kill her.

"The cake doesn't matter. It's a byproduct of the reaction."

"Can I eat it?"

"No, Pinky Pie."

"Then why make a cake!?" Twilight was shouting now.

"Because the amount of lightning you get from the other bits you throw away is enough to make one of these babies run for months."

"…Huh?" I don't think she was expecting that. I sighed and walked up to a chalkboard.

"I'm probably committing some kind of ethics violation by doing this, but…you know math, right?" I began writing an equation on the board.

E=mc^2

"You have too many variables," Twilight corrected me instantly.

"One constant. Here." I continued to write as I explained.

E : output energy

"Lightning, we'll call it."

m: input mass

"The bits we throw away when we're done with the cake."

c: speed of light

"Squared, of course.”

"The speed of light?"

"it's not instant."

"Yes it is."

"Not really. It's…hang on." I pulled out an interface to the computer in my sun glasses, pulled up the reference, and began writing out the number.

c: speed of light: 299,792,458 m/s

"Meters in a second," I clarified.

"How big is a meter?"

"Oh, right. About half as long as I am tall." I gestured to my waist.

"In a second."

I snapped my fingers in time to the clock display in my sun glasses. "That's right." The gears in Twilight's head started spinning. The annoyance was slowly draining from her face and the thousand yard stare was coming back.

Pinky Pie poked her after her eyes slowly grew to the size of saucers. "Twilight? Is the cake good?"

"That is a lot of lightning," Twilight whispered.

---

Twilight's first foray into nuclear physics left her sitting on the floor of her library staring at her chalkboard. I eventually slipped out and leaned against the doorway, playing with my pocket computer. Pinky Pie ran by me, blabbering about zap apples and cake. She grabbed Rainbow Dash by a hoof, said something about a factory, and kept running. Rainbow bounced behind her down the path, and out of sight.

Twilight Sparkle shakily walked out of the library about five minutes later and sat down beside me. "I think I understand magic," she whispered.

"Oh?" Not the conclusion I was expecting.

"Just a theory. But that explains the power output." She looked at me, a thousand yard stare in her eyes. "I've spent so long trying to unravel the effects of magic that I've barely researched the causes. There are multiple different kinds of magic, but what makes the actual effect…I didn't realize…"

"Your planet is…several thousand years behind where my civilization perfected this stuff. Don't feel too bad. It was like a hundred years after steam engines that we learned the basics."

"You …I don't even know where to start…" She rubbed her face with a hoof. Her eyes were focused on me again and my jaw clenched. "You could provide enough heat to keep all of ponyville warm for a thousand years with one of those machines and the tiniest bit of fuel."

"Yes."

"You walk around, in war, in explosions, riding on top of…a potential energy output that is best measured in stars."

"Pretty much."

"What kind of machine needs that much power?"

"I've shown you as best as I can without an actual war."

"Why would your society come up with machines that focus that kind of energy just to destroy?" Twilight seemed to be getting nearer to the heart of her confusion.

"Power, land, money, the usual vices. My people are simple, and they don't always get along."

"Why?" She looked and sounded legitimately angry.

"Because they don't always look for peaceful solutions."

Twilight paused, and stopped looking so perplexed. "You kill for money."

I passionately disagreed with that summary, but kept my cool. "No, that's a hitman. I fight wars for money. I perform military functions."

"You kill and get paid for it." The malice dripped off of her words.

I reminded myself that this unicorn could remove me from existence if she felt like it, but I was still angry at her. "Do you actually want me to defend myself?"

"Yes!"

"Fine. I defend other people for money. Does the captain of the guard get paid?" My rage was making my words petty.

"Shining Armor does get paid, yes." She annunciated the name. I sidestepped whatever faux pas I'd just committed and kept going.

"Would he ever have to kill to protect the Princess?"

"M-maybe-but he's loyal to the princess! We care about her!"

"We?" I blinked as the logical implication clicked. "You've killed to protect the Princess." I realized what she meant before I realized how bad that accusation was.

Me and my big mouth.

"Cadence!" She screamed at me, and her eyes began glowing like they had when we first met. Her feet were an inch off of the ground, and she stayed there. Another way she could apparently bend space-time to her will, great. I had one chance to get out of this without someone who could apparently ignore gravity and dynamically convert matter to energy in any of a hundred focused ways focusing it on my head. I took a wild guess.

"She would have died." I waited a moment, wincing reflexively. I wasn't dead, so I kept talking. "I'm not saying that this is a good thing, but it is a product of society, not of any one person. If you try to be the better man by not fighting, you just wind up dead."

Twilight stopped floating, although the eye glow was still there. "I don't understand why she would do that." I didn’t understand how she could ignore gravity.

"Sometimes people don't get what they want out of asking nicely. Sometimes they try to-” I stopped being distracted by the infinitely powerful unicorn wizard in front of me and got back to making my point. “Look, I don't know what happened to you, I only know what I've seen. And where I come from, if you don't fight, you get killed."

"You sure fight to protect a lot of people." She would have looked embarrassed if her eyes hadn’t been glowing.

"I just have more loyalties than you do. I live in a bigger universe. You have a simpler society."

"Did you just call me stupid?"

"I don't call anyone who can understand nuclear physics a hundred years ahead of her own time stupid."

Twilight stared into my eyes as hers lost the glow. I thanked my years of experience in negotiating with royalty for being able to keep calm. "What do you do this for? Why would you ever chose this life?"

I shrugged. "I'm good at it. I understand tactics. I have a level head in tense situations. I enjoy logistics." I stood up and began pacing, and Twilight didn’t interrupt. "I come from a place where the kingdoms who have war machines like ours are very few. Only royalty can pilot them. To think that a common man like me would ever get his hands on one, much less a full scale assault machine like my Stalker is almost unthinkable. If I was not an independent contractor, I would never be able to do what I do." Twilight didn't respond immediately. "Honestly, I would have been killed long ago in some nameless battle, and never met my friends." I tossed that last bit in there since she seemed so focused on her friends.

"You take pleasure in your work." Her tone was unreadable.

"I take pride in my work. I am efficient and effective."

"But you enjoy killing."

"Why do you think I ki-Have you heard of an ejector seat?" A thought occurred to me mid-sentence. She thought everyone I shot at died.

Twilight paused. "What?"

"I won't lie and say that people don't die. I won't lie that it's not dangerous. But these things are rigged…they know when they are in danger. If one of them thinks it is exploding, the pilot is shot out of the cockpit on a rocket so he doesn't get killed in the explosion."

"Getting shot into the air, out through glass, without wings is safer."

"Hey, there is a lot of money spent on getting those working correctly. Hundreds of years of research, thousands maybe. And we have parachutes." She seemed to be confused about this last part, but ignored it.

"So you are willing to…pilot those because you will escape before it explodes."

"Most of the time, yes."

"So how many ponies have you killed?"

I succeeded in not correcting her. "Seventeen. Eight unconfirmed."

"You kept count."

"Again you seem to be laboring under the delusion that I don't care." I admit that I snapped that last part. "I live in a society where there are power hungry mass murderers that would order an army to kill everyone in a city just to prove a point! Hell, I've seen one do it just to decrease his costs! There are hundreds of revolutions going on on dozens of different planets right now! Millions of people trying to get a ruler even half as nice as Princess Celestia! They have no guns, much less walking tanks, they can't defend themselves! Most of them disappear overnight!" I spun on my toes and glared at her. "I'm the only guy they can call!" She was silent long enough for me to compose myself again. "Look, I'm not always the good guy, I admit that. But there's a saying as old as human history, 'War is Hell'. The worst fights became long, drawn out affairs that lasted years with no progress or agreement on either side. Years of people dying for no gain at all. Entire generations lost. I don't fight stalemates, I win battles decisively. I end things. Make no mistake, war is a terrible thing. But I end wars."

Twilight stared at me, her mind whirling almost as hard as it had when she was looking at the mass to energy conversion equation. "Why do they have wars?" She was very quiet suddenly.

"You know that whole 'harmony' thing you research? We're not so good at that."

"It's not just a research topic."

"Trust me, if we could point a magic beam at some of the people and yell 'Harmony!' we would have. All I can do is defend the people I care about."

"As a merciless marauding mercenary murderer," she shot causally, the alliteration rolling easily off of her tongue.

"A man's gotta eat," I replied callously. My patience was gone.

Twilight glared at me and walked away. I didn't much feel like arguing that mercenary was a valid career option anymore, but she hadn't turned me into a cactus. I counted it as a win.