My walk back to the farm was quiet. I’d pretty much screwed up relations with the Ambassador. She was too naive. This whole society was too perfect to understand the concept of a mercenary unit. Probably a good thing in general, but not right now. I mulled over our conversation, trying to figure out where I’d gone wrong, how I should have phrased things or introduced concepts. I didn’t have any answers for myself. I kept silent for the rest of the afternoon as I tried to work out how to salvage this contract.

I stood to make my way back to the hangar after dinner. Applejack called from the kitchen. "Hey Mr. Black, mind if I join ya?"

"Not at all. I was just heading out to the hangar."

"Alrighty, just a moment."

I stepped outside and leaned against the farmhouse in the afternoon sun. True to her word, Applejack came out of the front door a minute later. "Thank ya kindly."

"Not necessary. What's on your mind?"

"I m worried about how Twilight is handling this whole situation. I know y'all are used to handling different problems in a different way, but I really think we need to sit down and talk about our points of view before this difference of opinion turns into a real problem."

"I appreciate that. When did you have in mind?"

"Well I invited Twilight over this evening. Hope you don't mind. After we all started goin’ at it this morning, I figured we needed to solve this."

I grimaced. "I had a similar thought. I went over to her place this afternoon. We...didn't part on the best of terms."

"We'll see if she shows up then."

"Yeah. Let me get my jacket."

"Alright."

The two of us walked over to Barn-Hangar B as Twilight approached it from the road. As I got closer, Twilight froze. Then I heard the sounds coming from the hangar and realized that she was staring into the open doors and not at my approach.

Hiro was inside. Hiro had played the Japanese flute professionally before he became a mechwarrior. Now he brought it on missions to keep himself calm. As Applejack and I walked up, the echoing song wafted through the evening breeze to our ears. Applejack stopped frozen beside Twilight. The vibrant acoustics of the hangar and the otherwise silent countryside made for a breathtaking song, and the odd Japanese scale and sorrowful music he played when stressed brought tears to Twilight's eyes. I leaned against the outside of the hangar door and waited. This was one of my favorites, and Hiro tended to stop when he knew he had an audience.

When the song finished, Twilight looked over at me, sniffed and rubbed a foreleg across her eyes. "What was that?"

"That was Hiro. He's a musician, ambassador. At least he was a professional musician before his family demanded he take up his brother's position as a mechwarrior."

"'S beautiful," Applejack added quietly.

"Too bad you can't hear the other instrument he plays. Too big to fit in a cockpit."

"Commander?" Hiro called from the hangar.

"Ambassador is here, Hiro."

"Roger." The flute music was replaced with the sound of boots on a metal ladder.

Twilight looked disappointed. "He didn't have to stop."

"No, but he doesn't like to perform without being ready. He just does that to relax."

Twilight glanced at Applejack and shook her head as Hiro approached us. "I'm sorry. I came to apologize for our argument this afternoon Commander." Hiro walked out of the hangar and nodded politely, and she smiled and nodded. "I am not familiar with the world you are all from."

"We are likewise not familiar with the customs and history of your country, ambassador."

"Please...just call me Twilight. I'm not the greatest ambassador," she chuckled with no small amount of self depreciation.

"I dunno about that. We haven't lit Ponyville on fire," I offered.

"Or started a riot," Hiro added.

"That puts y'all ahead of us," Applejack said with a grin. Twilight grimaced, and Applejack nudged her. "You're doin' just fine Sugarcube."

"It's true, a-Twilight. And please, call me Chris."

"I've been meaning to ask, what does Christophe mean?"

"Herald of...the savior," I responded after a moment of internal translation. "The gods of our worlds are more subtle, so many people wind up being named after their prophets. Daniel is also a historical name."

"Ah, so you hope to represent their qualities."

"Something like that."

Applejack spoke up. "Is 'people' what y'all call the aliens where you're from?"

I nodded. "We call our species 'human'. I'm probably going to mess up and call you people more than once."

"That's quite alright Commander. I mean Chris." We smiled at each other for the first time. I silently thanked Hiro's flute skills for the icebreaker.

"So, Applejack has brought up a good point. I may have given the impression that I intend to call the shots while I'm here. As our mission contact, Ambassador Twilight Sparkle, you have the final authority to tell us to go or hold off. If the ideas I propose or if my requests are too violent for this kingdom, tell me. Don't let me pressure you into us rampaging across Equestria against these cultists. Make me convince you that is the right idea, or tell me no." I closed my eyes as I finished my speech. Twilight said nothing for a moment. "Make sense?" I asked.

She nodded. "It does. At the same time, I don't have experience with entire armies, unless you count the changelings, and then we did resort to brute magical force." She shrugged. "The point is that I want you to tell me, even though I might not like the answer."

"That's what I'm paid for, Twilight."

Hiro was relaxed, the ambassador looked calm for the first time since our arrival, Applejack looked content. "So," I asked, "what do you pe-ponies do for fun around here?"

Hiro elbowed me and pointed to the dirt road that led to the Apple family farm. A white unicorn with...goggles and headphones was pulling a cart with two gigantic speaker stacks on it. She was met by Pinky Pie who led her into the actual barn. Twilight noticed our distraction and looked at Applejack.

"Yeah, I told Pinkie she could host in the barn."

"Alright. I think I'll go take a nap then."

"Good idea Sugarcube. Tonight might go long."

I raised an eyebrow. "How long?"

"Tomorrow long."

"I suppose we could stand to have a night off."

---

What a night it was. Dozens of ponies from the town showed up. Pinky Pie welcomed all of us personally. She ran excitedly up to me after the introductions were complete. "Commander Black," she said with a stiff salute on two legs, "permission to unveil my latest creation!"

I saluted back. "Permission granted?"

She zipped over to the table of food and yanked a sheet off of a round thing. "BEHOLD!" The cloth covered a fancy glass cake cover, which in turned housed a rainbow frosted cake which was glowing slightly in the dimly lit barn. "Zap apple cake! Made with lightning! REAL LIGHTNING!" I thought Twilight had looked like a mad scientist that afternoon. Now she looked scared, and it was Pinky Pie that had the manic grin, the darting eyes and the barely suppressed laughter that made her body shake every few seconds. Rainbow Dash looked uncertain. Applejack suddenly realized something and dashed into a cellar. Some of the partygoers present backed away, some approached with mesmerized smiles.

Pinky Pie began giggling madly as she yanked the glass cover off and held a kitchen knife aloft. Glass insulation gone, the cake shocked the nearest object it could find, the knife. "IT'S ALIVE!" Pinky Pie screamed, hair and tail standing on end. Then she cut the cake and began doling pieces out to waiting plates. I looked at Twilight who had gone from fear to resigned annoyance. "Is that safe to eat?"

She looked at me with a half smile. "She's one of the best bakers on this continent. It's probably safe. Probably."

The cake was a hit. It was also delicious and slightly tangy and carbonated. I assumed that was the lightning. The air went from emotionally electric to actually electric. The buffet table was opened and it was full of all kinds of cake and snacks. Then Pinky Pie cued the music. Folk played on a gramophone seemed like a disappointing start, but it transitioned quickly and fluidly into pumping techno.

I don't know where Pinky Pie got the black lighting. I don't know where the DJ learned dubstep in that pre-industrial society. The cake was award winning. The snacks were almost painfully sweet, but I rode a sugar rush for about three hours. At some point Applejack pulled two barrels of cider out of a cellar, and suddenly Rainbow Dash and Dan were the best of drinking buddies.

I bailed out at about two in the morning. House music that would have rivaled the best clubs on Outreach blared out of the door behind me into the night. The other three were having a good time, the Elements of Harmony were having a good time...well Applejack and Rainbow Dash were, and the smile of pure satisfaction never left Pinky Pie's face. Fluttershy excused herself nearly as soon as the sound check was done. Twilight was up until midnight, dancing and grinning like an idiot, when she passed out in a loft above the speaker stacks. Amateur. She'd get better in time. Rarity hung out until the polite attendance time was up and then excused herself on the pretense of a large commission that wouldn't sew itself. I left the party, went back to my mech, and climbed into the loft of Barn-Hangar B and passed out with one hand on my sidearm and a grin on my face.

---

Shortly before noon I walked in to Barn-Hangar A and began loudly climbing the ladder. "Rise and shine Atari," I called.

"Mornin Chris," Rolf said with a wave. He was reclining against the wall while reading. I looked around. "Dan's not here. Probably at the party where I left him."

"Alright, well gear up for the survey."

"Roger."

I walked over to the barn to see Applejack and Big Mac heading out to the fields. Pinky Pie was in the barn cleaning.

"Morning Pinky."

"Morning Chris! I think your guy is in the loft." She looked around quickly. "I think he stayed up too late," she whispered. I nodded. This was going to be fun.

When I got up to the loft I almost lost it. Dan was passed out. So was Rainbow Dash. He had pulled a wing on top of himself. Dash had commandeered his leg as a pillow, lying on her back while snoring loudly. I took several pictures from different angles, and quietly climbed down the ladder.

Once at the bottom I kicked the ladder. "The hell are you Dan?!" I yelled. In hindsight, I wished I'd set up a camera to film this. I listened carefully as I made a show of wandering around the barn.

"Wh-"

"Ah!"

"Ssh."

"Shtup"

"Shutup!"

"Ssh!"

There there were a few seconds of complete silence, followed by the sound of boots on wood and hay getting tossed around. "Holy shit it's late," Dan said as he climbed down the ladder shakily. "That pony throws a hell of a party."

"Yeah and we're gonna run a patrol around the town before lunch. You've got twenty minutes."

"Roger commander." He took off running.

Should I put the picture in his cockpit? Maybe in his bag? Oh, in his next contract renewal. Let him forget the whole thing. He could claim it was fake all he wanted, I'd heard the two of them panic about being found. Maybe draw a heart around it, but that might be going a bit far.

Pinky was beside me watching him run off. "So that's where they got to." I glanced down in my best acting.

"Who?"

"Oh, your wingman."

"Mm." I turned to smile at the hostess. "Thank you for the excellent welcome, Miss Pie. I look forward to your celebration bash when this is all over."

She looked at me with the cold angry glare of an investigator. "You wouldn't be planning on ruining a friendship, would you?" As I watched, her tail bounced up and down while her right eye twitched.

"No. Course not. Maybe some teasing next year."

Instantly her demeanor switched back to the overwhelmingly happy extrovert that I had been introduced to. "Ok! Glad you liked the party!" She bounced deeper into the barn and continued cleaning. I walked out to get my mech ready. A blue blur zipped out of the barn a minute later, and I resumed my uncontrollable snickering.

Atari Lance was in formation on time. "Alright Atari, eyes open, nice and slow. We're analyzing the land for natural defense and attack points. Speak up if you see something."

"I saw the fearless Reaper giggling with a pretty blue pony last night," Ninja said.

"I can't help if chicks dig me. She wanted to know about being in the military."

"Something you know all about," I added.

"Combat, asshat. She's trying to join the air guard demo wing. Wanted to know about combat."

"Oh, ok." That actually made more sense, because otherwise I couldn't see why Dan would put up with one of the natives.

"How about the farm?" Reaper annunciated, obviously trying to change the subject.

"Lots of trees, good cover, but too open in the other side. I'd hate to destroy the Apple family's crops, but good guerrilla warfare territory. Fall back that way if you're overwhelmed, Ninja."

"Roger," Ninja called.

"Farms, farms, open fields, sunshine," Reaper was sounding annoyed.

"Yeah, not much to work with," I said as I desperately tried to come up with some way to use the features of this town to a defensive advantage

"Not on this side of town," Ninja agreed.

I looked at the hint of a foothill that was the rolling plans of the farm. "Might see if we can convince Twilight to dig a trench out here."

"Since when is it 'Twilight' and not 'ambassador'?" Reaper teased.

"Since last night when she admitted her lack of experience."

"And you promised to teach her. Damn you're more perverted than I thought Omega."

Sending him the pictures from that morning was sounding like a better idea. "C'mon Reaper, one of my failings at a time. What am I missing out here?"

"I'm lookin', I'm lookin'." There really wasn't much to work with.

The idle chatter of my unit masked their annoyance. The gentle rolling plains that Ponyville was founded on were dotted with groves of trees and the occasional river. There was a thick grove on the north side of town that was relatively safe to engage in, provided we could drive the attackers there.

"Maybe if we could pray for fog-wait yeah!” Hiro exclaimed. “Rainbow Dash was telling me about weather creation. I bet they could drop some fog on this place. Drop the visibility, make an opening north. Or just obscure the whole place and snipe them with thermal."

Now that was something. "Yeah, I'll talk to them about that. Good thought."

"Thanks."

The grove of trees on the north was thick and dark, but not as much as the Everfree Forest. It would make another good point to drive an assaulting force to if we could help it.

Ninja suddenly broke off and hit the jump jets.

"Ninja?"

"No danger Omega." He hovered for a couple of seconds before dropping back and landing softly of roaring thrusters. "Schoolhouse on the edge of the grove," Ninja commented sadly.

"Shiiiiit."

"I fuckin told them. God dammit have they never defended this city?" Reaper swore.

"From what I understand, no. Ok, add evacuation procedures for the school to the top of the list." I was starting to hope that this town was not a high value target and that dumping us here was really just the diversion I guessed it was. Hope was not going to keep children alive though.

Ninja rejoined the formation and we continued around the town. A river was the western border of the town, which if I remembered the apple orchard correctly, was what fed the farms for this town. It was decently large but not fast enough to prevent swimming across. "Who wants to play in the river?"

"Ooh me, pick me!" Reaper called. The atlas whined and charged into the river. "Syncing telemetry. Looks smooth." The rest of us moved into the river. The water came up to my cockpit. We were disturbing the riverbed so badly that the river was going to be brown for a while, but no long term harm done.

"This will slow them down for a bit anyway," Ninja said.

"Yeah but the river flows south. It'll push them toward the farm."

"Maybe we can catch them and push them north," Ninja said with optimism.

"And get their nice river all bloody."

"Ugh, I hate fighting elementals," Reaper grumbled.

"Yeah. Well first priority is keeping them out of the town. Don't hold back."

"Roger Omega."

The river wound down the side of the town, eventually making its way south. Some of the farms to the south were in danger, but the Apple family farm was the one closest to the border of the Everfree forest.

The entire route took an hour, and I planned to run the other way after lunch. Possibly set up daily patrols. I needed to run it all by Twilight first though.

---

Once we were back and parked, Rolf and Dan set about pouring over topographical maps of the place that the computers had made. I headed to the library.

I could tell that the formerly friendly tone of the town was different. We had given the town a good two kilometer barrier. Still, everyone who looked at me did so in fear, then smiled at me uneasily as I looked at them. I waved politely and smiled but I knew that the damage had been done. I'd seen it before. A populace that had never seen battlemechs before suddenly realizing what was marching around their town. The party and warm welcome were nice, but nobody knew then what the big metal things were for. Now they had felt the earth shake from the footfalls of over three hundred tons of walking tank. They had seen the metal titans march past their children. The honeymoon was over.

The door to the library was open, so I walked through. Twilight sat at her writing desk but wasn't writing anything.

"Twilight?"

"Is it necessary to parade your war machines around our town?" She didn’t turn around.

"I apologize, I saw how frightened we made the pe-ponies of this town. It was necessary to show my unit the area to identify possible areas of attack. I planned to check the area again this afternoon by myself."

"I see." Her tone of voice disagreed.

"How quickly can the weather team blanket the town in fog?"

"What?" She turned around to look at me.

"Weather is an ancient delayer of wars. It might not stop the army from marching but we could possibly divert them away from the town."

"I don't know, I will have to ask the weather team. I don't know if they have the clouds ready to do something like that." That at least distracted her from hating me temporarily. Still she was slipping back into Mercenary Liaison Sparkle voice.

"Is there an evacuation plan for the school? The children may be in danger if the attack comes to Ponyville."

"I doubt there is, but I could make one." Her tone changed from administrator to confused researcher. "Is the school really in danger?"

I nodded. "If they chose to invade Ponyville from the north the school is in the direct path of attack."

"But the Everfree forest is to the east."

"Which is why we would be defending the east entrance to the city and the bridge over the river, and why the army might choose to go around. The school to the north and the farms to the south become the secondary attack vectors. The farms would be bad, but not tragic like the school."

Twilight looked at me horrified.

Spike walked down the stairs and waved.

"Hey Commander!"

"Sup Spike?"

Twilight stumbled over words as we fist bumped. "This isn't a game!" She finally exclaimed.

That caught me off guard. "Okay?" Was all I could think to respond.

"Your machines are incredibly dangerous, and you're just walking around our town like they're wagon carts!"

"Because they won't spontaneously explode."

"Your weapons could level the town in minutes."

"Which I was surveying the land-"

"Adding talk of evacuation plans to this will cause a panic!"

I took a deep breath before responding. I was sure that she was done and I wasn't going to scream over her. "I can keep this town from seeing conflict if I survey the land first. I do not intend to parade around after today, as I am fully aware of how terrifying a lance of mechs is.” So much for daily patrols. “I have seen the faces of the ponies I've scared." Twilight seemed to calm down at that reassurance.

"I'm sorry Commander, I guess I'm just not used to this. We usually get attacked suddenly and deal with the problem, not all of this preparation. And that's what bothers me, I love preparation!"

"She does love to make lists," Spike added helpfully.

I nodded. "I am sorry that evacuation procedures sound scary but your country is preparing for war, Ambassador."

"Cloud cover and evacuation procedures are just so...dark."

"It is, but that’s my job. I assure you that I take this very seriously. Let me handle the dark stuff."

She nodded. "It just feels like there should be another way."

We talked of plans for a while. Spike fed us lunch as we looked over maps. She promised to have procedures written up for the town by the next day. I promised to have a plan of defense ready for her review at the same time. By the end of the afternoon I was back to ‘Chris’ and she was ‘just Twilight’.

I arrived back in the hangar with a bad taste in my mouth. It felt like I was trying to organize a war for a bunch of children. The sheer lack of preparation or understanding was staggering. It was time to escalate the situation.

---

The team was waiting for me at Barn-Hangar A. They looked around each other with worried glances, and I wondered what they had gotten up to while I’d been preoccupied. Reaper spoke first. "This is turning into the most awkward thing I've experienced with ponies."

"Have you had many experiences with ponies, Dan?" Hiro quipped.

"None that I can tell your mother about at night."

"Reaper's right, I don't like where this is going." I interrupted the joking.

"They're scared," Rolf pointed out.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Of course they're scared, I'm walking around in a hundred ton piece of steel with a skeleton head!"

I shrugged. "We're supposed to intimidate the enemy, not the contract, Dan."

"I only have one setting, Chris."

"I know, I know." I sighed and sat on a hay bale. "I don't like trying to convince a non-militaristic society that they need military hardware."

"Usually we're selling to people who know they want to buy," Hiro agreed.

"Exactly. These people don't-"

"Ponies."

"-yes Dan, these ponies don't fight."

"Their ultimate super-weapon is a peace-beam," Dan said with a barely concealed giggle.

"Your point, Dan?"

"No point, it's just funny."

I sighed. "We can't all be death incarnate, Dan."

"Maybe we should ask the Princess," Hiro said after a moment.

I nodded. “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing actually.”

"It's like, what, a few hundred Km to the…what was the capital city, Canterlot?" Dan was trying not to giggle again.

"Yeah, on that mountain there.” I pointed north to the skyline. “I could take the Tiger and be there this evening."

"Is it safe to go alone?" Rolf asked.

I shrugged. "It would take two days with anyone else. Besides, what's gonna attack us here that can take the Tiger?"

"Teleportation magic?" Dan reminded.

"If I don't come back tomorrow, assume I'm back on Outreach."