Dear Equestria Daily,

Many months ago, you received an email from me. In that email, I included a link to a video that I have no doubt rattled the very core of the Friendship is Magic community. I want to assure you that my recording was not the least bit fake. The community may for the most part have forgotten the video, but even in my new life, I have not.

As was mentioned in my video, Equestria is real, and I went there. I’m still there, for that matter. A lot of extenuating circumstances began to stack up from the moment that accursed body swap began, culminating in me never being able to return. For one, the realm of Equestria is not as accommodating to non-magical beings as fan-fiction writers might hope. As it turns out, the ambient magics of Equestria begin flooding your body the moment it gets there, and because your body isn’t designed to handle such thaumaturgic radiation, the your body changes into a form that can. So while I bungled around Ponyville in the midst of a psychotic episode, my Lyra-occupied body was transforming into a pegasus pony.

Then of course, I suppose it’s only natural to go into the details of the previously mentioned psychotic episode. Yeah, I guess I don’t handle stress all that well. Y’see, Pinkie decided to throw me a ‘Welcome to Equestria Party’. You’re all thinking “Oh, a Pinkie Pie Party, what fun!” When you’re in a mare’s body and in estrus, and suddenly half of the Mane Six and Bon-Bon are all stallions because of magic cupcakes, no... Not fun. That’s not to say I didn’t try, but when you get smashed, you do stupid things... like having a drunken orgy with a mare-turned-stallion and her lover-in-my-body. That’s where it all began going downhill.

When I woke up, hungover and aching from sex, I did not react well. Hay, it would not be hard to say that I overreacted. I basically accused Lyra and Bon-Bon, who were no more sober than I was, of raping me, and then went to try and calm myself in a park near the Everfree. Fate is a twisted, fickle mare it would seem. Having saved a filly’s life only a day earlier, I guess I expected that I should have been able to save Pound Cake, or at least stop him from wandering into the Everfree and getting petrified by a cockatrice doomed to die. That, it turns out, makes it permanent, and no magics or known potions can fix it.

Instead, the moment I reached the edge of the forest, I was whisked back to the library. Lyra and Twilight didn’t trust me not to wander out of town and get lost, so they placed an anchoring charm of some sort on me. Needless to say, when I found out I felt upset and betrayed, especially when I later found out that pound was for all intents and purposes dead. Well, I became paranoid beyond belief and broke down. I couldn’t fathom how Twilight could be so reckless with her magic, and I convinced myself that she wasn’t really Twilight.

I’ll spare you the details of my descent into madness and how I spent the night in a burrow beneath a tree, or how I first encountered Princess Luna in the dreamscape. Know only this. Equestria isn’t as perfect as everyone might think, and mistakes do happen, even when that mistake results in an intense psychotic episode culminating in the attempted murder of your favorite pony.

Things have been rather different since the switch-back. For one, I’ve had to get used to a new body all over again. Despite the Crown recognizing that I’m of legal age, I still get a lot of trouble because I’m a diminutive pegasus mare who looks no older than her early teens. The doctors say that I’ll always be this small, so I guess I’ll just have to cope with it. At least I made a friend in the hospital. My nurse/CNA/new best pony was kind enough to teach me to fly, and I’ve never been more grateful.

Sadly, my presence in the world of Equestria isn’t without its costs. Because Twilight’s recklessness ultimately cost a life, she’s had to return to Canterlot for a short break on her studies on friendship for a refresher course on responsibility. Princess Celestia isn’t cruel though. She’s still permitted day trips to visit her friends; Twilight just has to remember where her responsibilities lay. I’m still not sure which of us is more uncomfortable with the arrangement where she has to tutor me for the Equestria equivalent of a GED. Since my GED is her responsibility though, I’m always forced to tag along when she goes back to Ponyville, not that I’m complaining.

Lyra and Bon-Bon have their own issues to deal with now that Lyra’s pregnant. I think that in itself is why Celestia did not enact any major punishments on them for what happened while we were all wasted or for failing in their responsibility for me. It’s not like she can run a pregnant mare out of her home or send her to prison. Honestly, I don’t know who is happier now. Originally, Bon-Bon seemed leery of the idea, but if the last letter I received is to be believed, she’s really warmed up to the idea and is now doting on her lover and daughter-to-be.

I’ve also seemingly created a monster. Because I kept referring to things I couldn’t possibly have known and talking specifically of the show, I had no choice but have Lyra play all of Seasons 1 & 2 of Friendship is Magic for Twilight, the Princesses and the others. Pinkie Pie loved it. She’s so obsessed that she even insisted on being at Lyra’s every Saturday since Season 3 began, something I sadly haven’t had the time to do. According to Pinkie though, the series is eerily accurate at times. That’s all I can usually understand now that she’s slinging pony memes all the time.

As for me, I decided to give my family one last goodbye. It was really rather bittersweet. I mean, I got the closure, but my parents told me that for all intents and purposes their son is dead. At the time, I couldn’t have known just how badly they’d taken it, but they've gone into serious denial of what happened, and simply reported me missing. I’m pretty sure there’s even going to be a segment dedicated to me in the newly revived Unsolved Mysteries, if Lyra's correspondence isn't off the mark. It’s probably for the best that they pretend I’m just missing.

Until I complete that GED with Twilight and enroll at the Canterlot University to study Alchemy, I’m not sure how relaxed I can be. I’m incredibly thankful to my friend Candy Stripes and Doctor Forceps for volunteering to house me until then, but I’ve never been particularly comfortable living off the goodwill of others outside of family. Then again, family is more than bloodline here in Equestria, and Candy and her mother have been nothing less than family to me. Even if I don’t make it as an alchemist, I think I’ll always have a place to call home.

Your once faithful reader,

Soren F.
Seven Fates
Silver Script

P.S. The Princesses are considering opening diplomatic relations with Earth, but don’t expect Equestria to be the newest vacation hot-spot anytime soon. If anything, it’ll be at least a decade or two before that happens, and probably a lot longer before you can even consider visiting Equestria as you are.

P.P.S. Lyra should have received my finished manuscript for Displaced, so expect that to receive a completion update from her in the near future.

Author's Notes:

That's all she wrote, folks. I hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Personally, I felt this little letter was the best way to wrap things up. As far as I know, all of my bases are covered, and I still have the opening for the sequel.

In the future, you might even see some more Silver Script art from me, so keep your eyes open.

Re-edit run completed 12 July 2017.
Wow, it's been a real trip going through and re-editing the story that seemingly earned me most of my following.
For reference, one can look back at the original, unedited chapters [in a very unsortedmess of a Google-docs folder] here.