The Pleasure is All Mine.

'Aww mate, my fuckin head is banging. Who the fuck decked me?' I thought, head still spinning. Keeping my eyes shut and trying to block out the constant ringing in my ears, I quickly came to realise that I must have been moved from wherever I'd been before. Last I checked, the cold concrete doesn't feel like comfy and soft. Then again, that's probably because concrete doesn't have the same feel as a pillow. Another major hint was the fact that I could just about distinguish multiple voices surrounding me. Women, by the sounds of it.

Am I in Heaven? Nah, that doesn't sound like me. Wait, does that mean I'm dead? What the hell happened to me? As the ringing in my ears began to lessen in intensity, the voices became more audible and intelligible.

"......you fi....at?" 'Hold on. It's coming back to me now.'

"...der E!" 'Oh yea! Now I remember!'

"Pard....e, g...s, I do....nt to.....rrupt..ou...ut wh...is...at?" 'That party thing!'

"Ye...at is it, Tw...ght?" 'And the abundance of horses!'

"I'm..ot...re, I've ne..r seen any...ng lik..t.." 'Horses which knocked me the fuck out!'

"Ooh! ..ybe it l...s par..es!" 'And where one of them talked!'

"Whoa nelly, ya'..eally..did a...mber..on it......bow" 'Where one of them TALKED!'

"Well it mig....hav..been dangerous!" 'FUCKING TALKED!'

"But did you have to..it so hard?" 'HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE! WHAT IS THIS HARRY POTTER BULLSHIT?''

"I have to agree, dear. I think you may have severely injured the poor thing" 'AND WHY THE FUCK DO SOME OF THEM HAVE HORNS! AND WINGS? HORNS AND WINGS? WHAT FANTASY FUCKERY IS THIS!'

"Girls? I think it's wakin' up!" 'Oh shit! They're on to me. Think, Alex, think before they dissect you and use your organs as chilli ingredients!'

"Get back, girls! That thing could be dangerous!" 'Oh joy, she sounds friendly. Wait! Maybe if I wish on a star, they'll fuck off? Nah, probably not. Welp, time to face the music I guess. Here goes nothing.'

Opening my eyes, I was greeted to a whole new different setting than before. Now, I looked to be in a library of sorts, with an abundance of bookcases surrounding me. My attention, however, was quickly drawn to the other inhabitants in the room. A group of multicoloured hors-

'No, hold on a sec. Ponies. These are ponies. Definitely ponies. Horses are much bigger than them, and they'd probably dwarf these ones here.' Maintaining eye contact with the ponies, I began to stand up from where I was lying, only for five out of the six to shift further away from me, with the pink one holding her ground, giving me a look that I could only guess to be of curiosity, a surprising contrast to the suspicious and wary looks her friends were sending my way. 'So apart from cotton candy over here, the rest are afraid of me. Seriously? No way they weren't there when I got given that nice case of brain damage.'

Realising that if I wanted to avoid receiving another dosage of 'Knocked-The-Fuck-Out' in the next minute or two, I changed my approach. Instead of standing, I lowered myself back down into a sitting position, still keeping a close eye on the other occupants in case one of the two unicorns in the room decided that I would be better suited as a human kebab. With me now comfortable on the ground, I shifted my attention onto who appeared to be the leader of the group.

The pink pony. 'So kiddo, what's your game?'

As it stands, she was the only one who had not yet shown fear towards me, only curiosity. 'I guess that means she and her friends haven't ever seen another human before. Huh, that's quite...unsettling. And how pink is she? That's a lot of pink, man. I mean pure, unadulterated, fucking pink. Jesus.' Lost in thought, I didn't notice her approaching me until we were more or less face to face. Or face to muzzle, in this instance. 'So who's gonna make the first move, then? Me, or Pinks over here. I know they can speak, as fucked as that is, so she should be no exception.'

...

Okay, this staring competition of ours is getting very old very quickly. Anyone fancy breaking this ice already? Any takers?'

...

'No?'

...

'Oh fuck it all. I swear I've gotta do all the work.'

"Good afterno-"

A whole lot has changed recently. I mean, I've found myself somewhere I don't belong, in a situation that would probably drive a lesser man insane. Hell, it probably already has, if what I've been seeing isn't a figment of my messed up imagination. But throughout all of this, there's always been something that has stuck with me. Even before I got dropped in this world, there was one thing that never left me, always there. The one constant that I doubt will ever change for as long as I live.

The fact that I keep getting constantly. Interrupted. Every. Five. Fucking. Minutes.

"Hi there, Mr Monster! I'm Pinkie Pie, but you can call me Pinkie Pie!" 'What the fuck?' "Me and my friends were wondering, well more me wondering, if you like parties!" 'What the fuck?' "Because I love parties! I love birthday parties, wedding parties, Welcome-To-Ponyville-Mr-Monster parties. Actually, every kind of party is my favourite party!" 'No, seriously. What the fuck'. "Oh! Do you like cupcakes?" 'Oh my god, she's still talking' "Because I looove cupcakes! Almost as much as I love throwing parties!" 'Does she have an off switch?' "What's your favourite kind of cupcake? Do you even eat cupcakes?" 'Somebody end my suffering' "Oh! What abo-"

"PINKIE!" cried my saviours the remaining five ponies, who had decided now that this ironically named pony had done enough damage to my already fucked up psyche. Recovering from the rapid fire of questions from the pink demon, I realised that she was still standing right in front of me, a smile on her face. 'What the hell does she want? An answer? Alright, but only if it stops you abusing my ears for the next year then sure thing.'

"Yes" I answered. To this day, I still don't know which of her questions I'd answered. I guess my answer was good enough for her, though, because she trotted back to her group with the biggest smile I'd ever seen someone, or pony now, have. Now that I'd appeased at least one of the ponies, I could rest easy. For the moment, anyway. Speaking of the ponies, the rest of them seemed to be shocked that I had actually answered her question. Whether this is because they didn't know I could talk or if it came as a shock to them that I had actually answered one of 'Pinkie's' questions, I don't know.

I didn't dwell on those thoughts, as the ponies had now huddled together into one group, evidently discussing the elephant in the room. Shifting ever so closer so as to eavesdrop on their conversation, I was not surprised to hear that they were discussing my handsome self.

"So what do we do with it?" 'Aah, getting straight to the point are we? Nice one, Lavender.'

"It's gotta be one of Nightmare Moon's monsters, so we need to get rid of it!" 'Firstly, go fuck yourself. Secondly, who the fuck is Nightmare Moon? Thirdly, go fuck yourself, rainbow cunt'.

"Rainbow!" 'Ha! It is Rainbow!' "How could you suggest such a horrid thing!" 'Aha! The voice of reason! There's always one aint there? Thank you very much, Snow White'

"Agreed, sugarcube. Ya' can't jus' hurt the poor thing like that jus' cause how it looks" 'Whoa. Am I in Texas now? Wait, don't question the one saving your ass, Alex!'

"It doesn't seem bad, just confused. Like one of my lost animals" 'You fuckin what, love? One of your pets? Take me for a drink first, then we'll see how far that goes'

"Yeah! I still need to throw a Welcome-To-Ponyville-Mr-Monster-Party!" 'Does the Pink one even know what whispering means? Wait. Mr Monster? Girl, I have a name'

"I have a name, you know." With that, all heads in the room shot to me. Snowie was the first to recover.

"It's rude to eavesdrop on a ladies conversation, darling" Replied the white unicorn, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, honey, but it's kinda hard not to when the conversation is all about me. Mainly, how to deal with me" I shot back, sending a glare towards the Rainbow pegasus, who returned it right back. Oh, you're a feisty one.

"Well sugarcube, it's jus' that... well... we aint' ever seen nothin' like you round these parts" pointed out the southerner, trying to diffuse the situati- Wait hold the fucking phone. Nothing like me? So no humans? Shifting my attention to the orange pony, I voiced my thoughts.

"What do you mean, nothing like me? You telling me you've never seen another human before?" I asked, eyes wide. She shook her head. Looking at the rest of them, they shook their heads as well. 'Shit.' This time, the lavender one spoke up.

"I've read hundreds of books, talking about the known races, mythical and extinct, but I don't remember hearing any mention of a 'Human', before" she said, tilting her head in confusion. Adorable. But what she said suddenly hit me. 'No mention of humans. Nothing. No humans. Fuck.'

"Huh...okay then... that's.. uhh... erm..." Sighing, I put my hand to my forehead, trying to figure out what to do with this titbit of information. Lost in thought, I didn't realise one of the group had actually come closer to me until I felt their hand hoof on my arm. Looking up, I saw that the hoof's owner was none other than the yellow pegasus. This surprised me, because she'd been hanging back behind the whole group for the duration of the past few minutes, evidently still afraid of me. Looking into her eyes, I saw nothing but compassion. A nice contrast to Rainbow bitch over there, who I'm pretty sure was still thinking about playing football with my head.

"Hey, It's alright, Mr....Erm..." I hadn't even told them my name yet. Sure, they hadn't told me theirs, but I know at least three of them anyway. 'Cmon Alex, you were raised better.'

"Call me Greyson, sweetheart" I replied, winking at her, and cracking a winning smile. If her unmistakable blush was anything to go by, I'd like to think that I've still got it. 'I would have said Alexander, but I don't trust them with that yet. If they don't kill me in the next 24 hours, I might reconsider'.

With the mare retreating behind the group, blush still evident, I turned to the rest of my audience. "That goes for the rest of you. The name's Greyson, or Grey, or anything, really. Whatever floats your boat. Now that you've all got my name, can I get yours? It's only fair" I asked, looking between With the exception of Rainbow, who was hovering just above the group, they all came towards me.

"Well sugarcube, my name's Applejack" The orange one, now Applejack, said. Holding her hoof out, it took me a second to realise that she wanted me to shake it. Fair one. One hoof/handshake later, and with my hand now in clip, she returned to her friends. But not without a small smirk of victory, however. Next up was the white unicorn.

"Well darling, my name is Rarity. A pleasure to make your acquaintance" Rarity said, holding her hoof out. I was about to shake it, when an idea struck me. 'Oh Alex, you sly dog' Taking her hoof in my hand, I planted a light kiss on it, and rested my other hand on top.

"My dear lady Rarity, the pleasure is all mine" I replied, with the most charming smile a man could muster. It would seem that this was not what she was expecting, if yet another blushing pony was any hint. Her friends had mixed reactions as well. Fluttershy and the lavender pony were both open mouthed and blushing, Rainbitch wanker was making gagging noises, whilst Applejack and Pinkie were both laughing. Heh, I may just survive this yet. Recovering, Rarity herself giggled at my antics.

"My, such a gentlecolt. We'll get along just fine, darling" Flicking her tail across my face 'the fuck?', she gracefully trotted back to the group. Before I could blink, however, I found myself on my back, again, with something pink hugging me. Why? I don't know.

"Hi! Me again! My name's Pinkie, but you already know that." 'Oh god, here we go again.' "So as I was saying before, do you like parties? What's your favourite kind of party? How about cupcakes? What's your favourite flavour of cupcake? Mine's cupcake!" 'What?' "Just kidding! I love all cupcakes!" 'Of course you do.' "Can I throw you a party please? Please please please please" 'Maybe if you stop constricting my windpipe I could answer, you demented fuck.'

"Uhh, Pinkie?

"Pleas- Yea, Applejack?"

"I don't think Mr Greyson can answer ya' questions, on account of y'all hugging him to death" 'YOU THINK?'

"Oh! Good point!" And with that, she hopped off onto my lap, allowing me to sit back up and spit out any and all hair that got into my mouth. Looking down at her I could see she was still waiting for an answer, eyes shining. 'Damn, she's just like a little kid aint she? Fine, whatever.'

"In order of your questions: Depends on the party, the ones that serve good drinks, same as the first, probably chocolate, and only if I've not been thrown into a ditch by your friend over there in the next hour." I send a glare at Rainbow Go-Fuck-herself. "Oh, and you'll want to serve alcohol." I answered. 'Can't forget the drinks, Alex. Never forget.'

'By god, that smile is both adorable and terrifying at the same time. And what the fuck is that squeeing noise? And why is she hugging me again? What is it with her and physical contact? Oh Christ, she hurts my head. I reckon if you threw her in a cell with a prisoner they'd be giving you his diary keys and his drug dealer in five seconds flat, I swear.'

Seemingly satisfied with her hugs and my answers, she FUCKING CARTWHEELED to her friends. This leaves the kindhearted yellow pegasus, the lavender unicorn and the- 'oh shit she's right in my face.'

"Sup?"

"Listen here, Greycie-"

"Greyson" YEAH, TAKE THAT! MY TURN TO INTERRUPT! WOO!

"Whatever. I don't trust you, and if you even think about trying anything to me or anypony else, I won't think twice about knocking your flank to the ground again!" She threatened. 'Wait, hold up. Again? She fucked me off at the party? HER?.'

"Wait wait wait, you were the one who decked me?" I asked, surprise written all over my face. Rainbow smirked in turn.

"You got that right, I'm Rainbow Dash, and I'm the fastest flyer you'll ever see. Ha! You didn't though, cause I knocked your flank down before you could even blink!" She replied, doing loops in the air and acting arrogant as all fuck. Her friends weren't impressed, though, and were sending her some rather nasty glares which went unnoticed by her. Me, however? Well, my reaction was not what anyone expected. I laughed. Hard.

"Why-why are you laughing?" Rainbow incredulously said. Recovering from my bout of sudden laughter, I looked into her eyes.

"It's just I've never met anyone, or pony in this case, who could floor me in just one hit. That, kiddo, is a goddamn first. Nice job, girl." I said, absolutely shocking both her and her friends. And me, to a regard. In any normal situation, I'd be livid. However, this isn't a normal situation at all. Blinking her confusion anyway, Rainbow smirked again. This one, though, was a little less of an arrogant and more of a 'Well cheers, mate. Let's go drinking sometime' smirk.

"Well... Thanks, I guess. But I'm still watching you, bub, so you better not try anything" She said, the underlying threat not going unnoticed by me.

"Yes, mother." I shot back, eliciting a laugh from her friends. Gliding back to the group, I looked to the next approaching pony. 'Oh, its lavender. She seems like the smart one.'

"Hello there, Mr Greyson. My name is Twilight Sparkle, personal student to Princess Celestia." Well alright, good for you kid. Do you want a cookie?''

"Well it's nice to meet you to, Mrs Sparkle. May I ask who this Princess character is?" I asked. I was met with even more shocked faces. 'Seriously? They've never heard of a human and now they expect me to know who this princess is?'

"You don't know who the Princess is?" 'Why the fuck would I ask if I did, Sparky?'

"Can't say that I do, love." 'Quick, someone get me a measuring tape and let's see what the distance between her jaw and the floor is. Can't be that far, right now. £5 says it's only a couple centimetres.'

"How in Equestria can you not know who the princess is?" 'Do I have to explain everything?'

"If you haven't noticed, Sparky-"

"Sparkle"

"-I don't exactly come from around here. I guess you could say... I'm out of this world." I said, grinning my ass off. It only took them a moment to realise what I was implying.

"Ya' from anotha' world?" 'Yea, mate.'

"Are there many more humans like you, darling?" 'Too fuckin' many, sweetheart.'

"So you're an alien? Where's your spaceship?" 'I'd like to know that as well, actually.'

"An entirely different race! Imagine all things I could learn from them!" 'Oh, you do not want to learn from us, Twilight.'

"Just think of all the parties I could throw!" 'Seriously? That's your first thought? You really are insane.'

Whilst they were throwing questions and ideas all around, I felt my chest tighten in fear as the magnitude of the situation finally hit me. 'I'm an alien' I realised. 'An alien on a world I don't understand, with no fucking humans. Fuck. I'm D-O-N-E- fucked. How the hell do I get home? Oh fucking hell, am I trapped on a world of talking, magic ponies? Jesus fucking Christ. What the hell do I do now?'.

My inner rant was cut short, when I realised the room was silent, and the ponies were looking at me, with mixtures of concern and confusion. I also realised one of the group was now missing, and a hoof now lay on my arm. Glancing to my side, I realised that the yellow pegasus had returned. 'Yay for me'. Putting on a brave face, I turned to face her.

"Have we met before?" I joke. Seeing as how her look of concern didn't fade, I realise that I wasn't fooling anybody with my attitude.

"You're afraid, aren't you?" Got it in one kid. Sighing, I looked to the floor.

"Of course I am. I'm in an unfamiliar world, with even unfamiliar beings, where I've just learnt that my kind has never been seen before. By that logic, I'm the only human on this planet. That right there? That terrifies me, kiddo." I admit, not looking up to see their reactions. I didn't need to, however, when I suddenly felt a pair of wings embrace me. Surprised, I looked up to see that the pegasus was hugging me.

'Huh, guess she isn't scared anymore. That's good.' Looking at her friends, there was a fine mix of both sadness and surprise in their faces. A few moments later, the hug ended. Looking at the pegasus with a raised eyebrow, who was giving me a small hopeful smile, I chuckled.

"Cheers sweetheart, I needed that. By the way, you still haven't told me your name" I said, smirking. Embarrassment spread across her muzzle, which I couldn't help but smile at.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Mr Greyson. My name is Fluttershy" She just about whispered, once again hiding her face out of what I guess was sheer embarrassment. 'Awh, that's cute.'

"Don't worry about it kiddo" I reassured her, as she quickly returned to her friends.

Looking over the group of ponies sat in front of me, who I've now spent the better part of half an hour talking to, I ask a rather important question. "Now that we're all friends, and aren't laying eachother out," 'Looking at you, skittles,' "Would any of you fine ladies like to tell me where in the fu-"

*GASP*"NIGHTMARE MOON! I NEED TO STOP HER!"

'FUCK SAKE TWILIGHT'

Author's Notes:

And now Alexander has met the Main 6! I tried to write each character as best as I could, but I've probably failed in that endeavour. Oh well, I tried.

Now, however, things start going down. The next couple of chapters will be of Alex and friends getting themselves through the Everfree and stopping Nightmare. Who may or may not hold the key to answering how Greyson got here in the first place. Only one way to find out, and that's for me to actually write the things first all of you to keep on reading on and leaving me feedback. See you in the next chapter! Peace.