My Life Just Gets More And More Fucked Up By The Day.

"-And then, seeing Rarity and the Wonderbolts all falling to their deaths, I swooped down, and BANG! Sonic...Rainboom! It was awesome!" 'Yes. I know. You've said that already. About a thousand times.'

A few days ago, Rainbow had been invited to take part in the Best Young Flyers competition, an event held in a city called Cloudsdale. From what I'd been told by Rainbow herself, it was literally a city made from clouds. After calling her out on how it's impossible for someone to walk on a cloud, she had Twilight explain that, along with being able to fly, a Pegasus has the innate ability to walk on clouds. Once again, magic had thrown me a curveball. 'This magic bullshit doesn't know when to stop mindfucking me. It really goddamn doesn't. Two immortal ponies who can raise the sun and moon? Check. A city made of clouds whose occupants don't just fall to their deaths? Check. It's like a never-ending cycle of bullshittery.'

"I know Rainbow, I heard you the first couple dozen times. You pulled off some miraculous light show that saved the day. and were congratulated by both your childhood idols and Sunny Days herself. Good job, skittles." I flatly reply, the sarcasm dripping from my voice. The pair of us were currently in the park, with Rainbow flying around me and myself lying on the bench, laughing at Rainbow's expression upon hearing me watering down how impressive her stunt was.

"Light show? Come on, Alex? You gotta admit, it was awesome, right?" Although it would only feed her ego, and by God she doesn't need that feeding anymore from me than she already does herself, I couldn't lie. Whilst I didn't get the close up view that I would've hoped for, it was still visible from Ponyville. And I'll be honest, it was rather mesmerising. Probably the second most impressive thing I'd seen in this world, just behind Luna and Celestia's ability to control their respective celestial bodies.

Though to be honest, I'd yet to see one of the Princesses live up to their claims of raising the Sun and/or Moon, but having firsthand knowledge that the things I once thought impossible suddenly being possible, they're probably capable of that and more. 'Come the Gala, I'll probably ask Sunshine or Luna whether or not they can actually show me. Would make for a great picture.'

"Yea, I'll be honest. It was cool. Shame I was stuck here," I gesture to the surrounding buildings, "and not there." Pointing in the general direction where I'd seen it happen. Because only those at the Castle and those living in Ponyville know of my existence, the rest of Equestria had no idea that something like me existed in their world. And seeing as how I wasn't to be revealed until the Grand Galloping Gala, which was actually only a few weeks away, I had to stay behind in Ponyville whilst Rainbow and the rest of the girls did their thing in Cloudsdale. It wasn't that bad, though. I just spent the day chilling with Spike in the Library, or helping the Crusaders, trying yet failing to find their Cutie Marks. 'Still can't believe they refer to me as Pope Alexander. That shit is just gold.

"Oh yea, I forgot. Sorry." The mare apologises, coming to land next to the bench.

"Meh, don't worry about it. Wasn't your fault I'm confined to this place." I respond, shrugging away her apology. Landing on my chest, she groans in frustration.

"I still don't get why you couldn't come with us though. Who cares what those ponies might say? You're not dangerous at all." Suddenly, she grins playfully at me. "You're just a big softie." She claims, pulling out a certain picture of me and Sweetie Belle from some time ago. 'Oh goddammit, I thought I'd gotten all of those days ago.'

"Me? Soft? Don't be chatting shit, Skittles. You might be able to fly, but I'll still floor your arse." I warn the rainbow maned pegasus, sitting up and returning her playful look. Sensing the challenge, Rainbow smiles at me in turn.

"I'd like to see you try." Rainbow retorts, looking smugly at me. 'Big mistake, sweetheart.'

"Suit yourself." Not giving her the chance to react, I lunge at the pegasus, grabbing and pulling her into a hold that prevented her from flying out of my grip. Thrashing around in my arms, Rainbow could only growl at me, spewing empty threats what she was going to do to me as soon as she got out of my grip. 'Whoa, you kiss your mother with that mouth?'

"Yea, yea, keep talking Skittles. Maybe if you're nice, I'll let you g-AH! FUCK!" I'm forced to let her go after she decided to bite at my fingers, the mare quickly shooting out of my arms and landing a couple feet away from me. Now the tables had turned. Busy checking my hand over, I don't notice Rainbow flying my way. Not until the mare had already shot into my chest, sending the pair of us flying backwards onto the floor, the pair of us vying for dominance. Eventually, I feigned defeat, allowing Rainbow to pin my arms above my head. Believing she had me beat, Rainbow begins to cheer. 'Laugh while you can, skittles.'

"Ha! I win!" Laughs a cocky Rainbow, staring triumphantly into my eyes. "What do you have to say about that!" Giving the mare a wink, I smirk.

"I had a feeling you liked being on top." I respond. Blushing at what I'd just implied, I feel her grip loosen ever so slightly. 'Bingo!' Still reeling from what I'd just said, I throw my arms around her, swinging her to the side. Now the tables had turned, with Rainbow now pinned to the floor. "You were saying?" I laugh, looking victoriously at the shocked and still blushing pegasus. 'Suck it, skittles.'

"N-No fair!" Rainbow shouts, trying her hardest to wriggle out of my grip once more. Smiling innocently, I shake my head.

"All's fair in love and war, Skittles." I reply, letting her go and moving away from her, though still prepared for her to charge at me. Returning to the air, Rainbow shakes the dirt out of her mane, before turning back towards me, looking ready to shoot towards me at any second. This standoff lasts for only a few seconds, before a certain baby dragon interrupts us.

"Hey Alex, hey Rainbow." Spike says, appearing almost out of thin air. Looking before the scene before him, he stops, appearing confused. "Uhh...are you two fighting?" He asks, gesturing to my stance and her scowl.

"Nah mate, just helping her practice for one of her moves to show the Wonderbolts. Aint that right, skittles?" I say, turning to face the mare in question. Although she still seemed slightly peeved, or flustered, the difference was hard to tell, she nodded nonetheless.

"Yea, exactly that." She replies. Whilst this appeased Spike, the look she was giving me from behind him told me that she was not the happiest of ponies right now. Knowing that, if Spike were to leave now, she'd most likely try to pummel me into the ground, I decide that getting away from Rainbow may be the best course of action.

"So Spike. What y'doin?" I ask, changing the subject. Thinking about it, seeing Spike out and about in Ponyville wasn't the most common of sights. Usually, he'd be stuck in the library doing jobs for Twilight, or trying to figure out new ways to woo his crush, Rarity. He was great at the former, though lacking any hope of succeeding in the latter. 'Poor guy. She's outta your league, mate.' Remembering just what it was he was doing out here, he turns to me.

"I was looking for you, actually." He says, to my surprise. And relief, for that matter.

"Me? What've I done this time?"

"I don't know." He says, shrugging. "Twilight just wanted to see you." 'Perfect. A free Get-out-of-Rainbow-beating-the-fuck-out-of-me card.'

"What does Sparky want?" I ask, genuinely interested as to why Twilight wanted me. Shrugging again, he scratches the back of his head, trying to think

"She didn't say. Just asked me to bring you back to the library, unless you were busy with something. But, seeing as how you and Rainbow are in the middle of something, I'll just tell her tha-" 'Yea, fuck that. I'm going.'

"Nonononono, it's fine, me and Rainbow can catch up later. Right, Rainbow?" I interrupt, already moving away from Rainbow and towards the library, Spike in tow. Throwing a quick look behind me, I see Rainbow scowling at me, punching one hoof into the other in quick succession. I didn't need to be deaf to understand that sign language. Returning her gesture with a cheeky wave, I turn back to the path ahead of me, me and Spike heading towards the library.

'Now what does Sparky want with me I wonder... I haven't misplaced any of her books... Library isn't on fire, last I checked...' Before I could think further on reasons as to why Twilight wanted to talk to me, another familiar voice brought me back into the real world.

"Alex! Hey Alex!" Sweetie Belle shouts, waving at me from further up the road. Telling Spike that I'd catch up, I make my way over towards the filly. Reaching her, I kneel down so as to be on her level, before noticing the saddle bag she'd brought with her. 'She on a shopping run for her sister or something?'

"Hey kiddo. What're you up to" I ask, gesturing to the bag that she'd been carrying. Her smile only widened as she removed the satchel from her back, placing it on the floor in front of me. Opening it, I reach in, my hands wrapping around something metallic. Pulling whatever it was that I'd gripped out of the satchel, I'm surprised at what it was I was holding.

It was a badge, with the Cutie Mark Crusader logo etched onto it. 'Well colour me impressed, boys and girls. This isn't half bad.'

"Do you like it?" Sweetie asks, biting her lip in anticipation at what my opinion would be on her hoof-crafted badge. Taking a few more seconds to examine it, I look at the filly, unable to keep the smile off of my face. To be honest, It wasn't the most impressive of things I'd ever seen, but the fact that this filly had gone through the effort to make it just for me personally really made the gift all the more touching. 'Damn this kid for being so adorable. It shouldn't be legal, damn it!'

"Like it? Sweetie, I absolutely love it. Come here, you!" Before she could react, I sweep her into my arms, holding the giggling filly to my chest. "You're one-of-a-kind, you know that?" I laugh, letting the delighted filly jump back onto the ground.

"So you like it then?" She asks, though her smile tells me she already knows the answer. 'It's brilliant. Now all I need is a sceptre and a dick-shaped hat and my title of Pope Alexander is legit.'

"Sweetie, I love it. This thing right here?" I pull at my coat, directly where I'd pinned the badge, "I'm gonna show off to everypony I know, and they'll be jealous." I reply, unable to contain my smile at seeing her muzzle light up at my approval of her hoof-made badge. Before I knew it, she'd thrown her forearms around my neck, letting out a squeal of happiness as she did so. "So, what are you up to now, then? Apart from gifting some lucky human one of your prestigious badges of honour?" I ask, nearly having to pry the small unicorn off of me.

"Well, I'm meant to be meeting with Scootaloo and Applebloom at school. We're gonna try our hoofs at getting our Cutie Marks in Chemistry." She answers, placing her saddle bag back onto her back, before her eyes widen, looking hopefully up at me. "Hey, why don't you come help us? Maybe you'll get your Cutie Mark!" As much as I'd love to help her out, I still had to find out what it was that Twilight wanted. 'Knowing my luck, I'm probably in deep shit. Or, I've got to help save the world or something bullshit like that. You know, just another day in the life.' Shaking my head, the disappointed yet cute pout she gave me almost changed my answer. Almost.

"Sorry kiddo, no can do. Twilight wants to see me for some reason. And besides, Human's don't get Cutie Marks, remember?" I remind the filly, whose ears flatten in embarrassment.

"Oh yea...I forgot. Woops. Oh well. Are you gonna come to the clubhouse later?" She asks, placing her saddle bag back onto her back. 'Now that, I can do.'

"Yea, why not. I'll see you later, kiddo." I respond, ruffling her mane in the way that she despises secretly loves has gotten used to over our past encounters. Chuckling at the same annoyed groan that she gives out every time I do it, I leave the filly to her own devices, finally heading towards the library. 'Let's see what shit I'm in for now, then.'

I arrived at the library just a few minutes later, passing a few familiar faces along the way. One of whom was Rarity, who said that she wanted to talk to me later that day. She didn't say what for, however, just that she needed a favour and that she'd explain later on. 'Probably about making me some more clothes, or something. Actually, that'd be great, now that I think about it. I could do with something fancy for this Gala thing. It's only, like, two...three weeks away? I'll have to ask.' Shaking away my assumptions for now, I'm just about to open the door when it suddenly opens for me. 'Am I a Jedi all of a fucking sudden?' And out steps Spike. 'Guess not. Shame.'

"Oh, there you are!" Spike groans, stepping aside to allow me in, giving me a disapproving stare all-the-while. "You said you'd catch up! Not 'Catch up in half an hour!'" He exclaims, gesturing to the clock on the wall. Shrugging, I smirk. 'Bite me.'

"Sue me, lizard."

"Lizard!? I'm a dragon!"

"Baby dragon."

"B-But still a dragon!"

"Oh don't wuwwy Spike, youw'll be a big boy soon! Just eat your vegetables and youw'll gwow big and stwong too!"

"Why you-"

"Are the pair of you finished?" Twilight interrupts, entering the room. "By Celestia, it's like I'm living with a pair of foals sometimes." She sighs, shaking her head at our antics. Taking a quick look at the unicorn, I can't help but notice something...off...about her. 'Did she do something to her mane? I swear it looks more...straightened. Huh, spend some time with these ponies and you start noticing the weird shit they do. Looks good anyway.' Smiling innocently at the mare, I gesture to the still frustrated dragon.

"Well technically, he's a dragon foal."

"I'm not a foal!"

"Alex, stop teasing Spike." Twilight scolds, though I'm positive I could see a small smile forming at seeing her assistant's frustration. Looking over towards her assistant, Twilight coughs in a manner that demands his attention. "Spike? Don't you have something you need to do?" She says, staring expectantly at him. He appears confused for a moment, before looking at me, and then back to Twilight. A second later and his eyes widened.

"Oh yea! I almost forgot!" He exclaims, running into the kitchen. A few moments later and he re-appears, now holding a rather sizeable box for his size. "I need to drop this at the Boutique. Rarity ordered some of the new fashion books, and I said I'd drop them off when they arrived!" He explains, making his way towards the door. Opening it for him, I watch as he steps out of the library and into Ponyville. Shutting the door, I'm just about able to see him look back towards Twilight, and giving her what I guessed to be a thumps up. 'What was that about?'

With Spike now out of the library, it left only me and Twilight in the building. Turning to face the unicorn, who was looking at me in turn, I wait for her to explain just what it was she'd wanted of me. And I waited. And waited. It took about 30 seconds until I grew bored of the staring contest we were having.

"So...you called?" My voice brings Twilight out of whatever daydream it was that she'd been lost in, and, as if waking up from a nap, she shook her head in confusion.

"Huh? Did you say something?" '...Is she high or something?'

"...You uh... told Spike to come and get me for whatever reason...? Right?" Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a few moments, before, like her assistant before her, her eyes widened in realisation. Unlike Spike, however, she seemed embarrassed and, dare I say, anxious? 'What's up with her today?' Before I could question her on her weird behaviour today, she looks around the room, before her eyes settle on a nearby table.

"Oh yea! I needed your help!" She exclaims, louder than she realised. "A group of foals came in this morning and, though I don't think they meant to, left quite a mess of the books. I couldn't...uh...reach the top of the bookshelves...and...I thought you could help?" 'Bullshit.'

"Really?" I question, not believing her story at all. I'd lived with the mare long enough now to tell when she was lying, and the fact that she was not the best liar just further fuelled my suspicions. 'So you're telling me that you, a magical unicorn and student to one half of the local Diarchy, can't just levitate the books up there? Fuck off.'

"Really." She says, smiling at me. One look could easily tell it was faked, but she was trying her best and that's all that matters. Deciding to play along for now, I shrug and, nodding, sigh in resignation. 'I'll play your game for now, Sparky. No doubt this is some weird ass experiment of yours.'

"Fine, whatever."

"...History of Equestria...Rise and Fall of Discord...Dangers of the Everfree..." For the past 10 minutes, I'd been gathering the books that had been strewn about, returning them to their assigned spots in the bookshelves. Whilst I was doing this, Twilight was on the other side of the room, sat at her desk and working on some sort of letter. It was most likely another one of her friendship reports to the Princess. 'I wonder what would happen if she forgot to send one of those damn things. Hmm....that's a fun idea.' Placing the newly thought prank to the back of my mind for the time being, I return to my arduous task of returning books.

Reaching down, I pick up another book, taking a quick look at its title. 'Equestrian Relationships? Sounds interesting. Now, where oh where is the E shelf?' Moving towards one of the many bookshelves, I'm about to place the book in it's place when I notice what appeared to be a bookmark sticking out of the book. Curious, I flip the pages over to where the bookmark had been inserted, finding myself on a page titled 'Interspecies Relationships'.

Detailed on the pages were examples of cases where a pony and some other sentient species native to this world came to be together, and how they were viewed by society. Skimming through, I was surprised to find that such a concept was widely accepted in Equestria. 'So these ponies haven't got a problem with hitching with a dragon that's about four times their size, whilst us lot have only just gotten around to accepting gay marriage? Dear oh dear, we have a lot to learn.'

Placing the book back into its designated shelf, I take one last look around and, seeing as how there were no books left for me to sort out, make my way towards Twilight. Hearing me approaching, the unicorn moves away from her desk and towards me, evidently happy with how organised her library was once again.

"You're a life safer, Alex." Twilight says, jumping up and wrapping her forelegs around my abdomen, pressing her muzzle into my chest. Waving away her thanks, I shrug.

"Meh, it's nothing. You won't let me pay rent, so shit like this is the least I can do." I reply, waiting for the mare to release me. She did not. Now I'm all for hugs and all, because lets face it, hugs from these criminally adorable ponies are quite possibly one of the best things in existence, but Twilight seemed to enjoy them a lot more than I do. Hell, she still hadn't let go yet.

"Sparky?"

"Hmm?"

"You can let go anytime you want." Hearing this, she suddenly lets go and, blushing madly, turns away from me, moving towards her desk. Whilst she was now occupied on whatever it was she was doing, I begin to try to figure out just what was up with my lavender friend. To be honest, today wasn't the only day where she seemed to be acting strangely. She'd been acting like this over the past two weeks.

And it only ever happened around me. Over the past two weeks, the unicorn had begun acting...rather peculiar, to say the least. If I had to compare Twilight to anypony, it would have to be Pinkie Pie. Both mares had a penchant for randomly hugging me for no reason and generally acting strange. Unlike Pinkie, however, Twilight did these things in a more affectionate way, and was always blushing immediately afterwards. Now I'd like to think that I'm a pretty smart guy, and that I can figure things out with enough clues and information. But in this case, I can't be right. 'Does she... Does Twilight Sparkle have a thing for me?'

Thinking it over, it began to make more and more sense. Out of all of my friends, I was definitely closest to Twilight, and vice versa. We live together, we see each other literally every day, and we're great friends. Added with the fact that we're of the opposite sex, and an attraction was bound to be formed by one of us, right? In any other circumstance, I'd happily encourage such an attraction. But there's just one problem.

She isn't human.

Now I'm not Xenophobic or anything, but I doubted it it could work out. 'I can't lie, some of these mares aren't that bad looking for something that isn't human, and Twilight herself is quite beautiful. And smart. And brave. Hell, if we were on Earth, she'd have men queuing up down the fucking road like an Alton Towers ride. But would it work out? Fuck, for all I know, I could be wrong, and that this is just some weird ass hopeless fantasy my lonely arse has concocted out of nowhere... But then again, there was that time when Fluttershy hugged me after that whole dragon fiasco, and as soon as she left, Sparky just up and threw herself around me... Was she jealous, or something?...Right, fuck this, I'll just wait and see what happens for now. It'll give myself both time to think and to keep an eye on Sparky.'

I'd been so lost in thought that I didn't realise Twilight was trying to get my attention. Not until I was hit upside the head with a book, that is.

"Do you have to keep hitting me with books?" I mutter, rubbing the sore part of my face where the book had impacted. If she does have a thing for me, she sure knows how to show it.

"Well maybe if you paid more attention to me, then that wouldn't have happened?" She argues, saying that I'd been blanking her for the past minute and a half whilst she'd been trying to ask me something

"Christ, if you want my attention so much, there are better ways of getting it other than using my face as a dart board for your hoard of books, Sparky." I reply, smirking at the mare, who returns it playfully.

"Oh? Go on?"

"Well, you could wait patiently? Or, maybe write me a letter like you do your precious princess?" She rolls her eyes at this. "Or you could take me to dinner? Maybe eve-"

"Done." '...Wha?'

"Done?"

"Done." 'The fuck you mean "done"?'

"What's done?"

"Dinner, tonight. I'll reserve us a table at Café Hay." '...What in the fuck?' Before I could either protest or agree with her demand request, the library door suddenly shoots open, interrupting the pair of us. Turning around, I'm greeted by with Fluttershy's muzzle almost pressed up against my face. I was about to come up with some witty remark, before I looked her in the eyes.

She looked absolutely terrified. 'Nothing new there, then.'

"Fluttershy?" Comes a concerned Twilight, forgetting all about our conversation, moving towards her friend, "What's wrong?" 'Did she see her shadow?'

"f-f-fire!" '...Come again?'

"Speak up, Flutters. We didn't quite catc-"

"FIRE!" She all but screams, gesturing frantically outside. Looking to Twilight, who stares right back at me, the three of us dash outside into the streets of Ponyville. Looking to the sky, I quickly spot the telltale signs of a fire. A thick, billowing cloud of smoke was coming from somewhere deeper in Ponyville. 'I go inside for five minutes and already shit kicks off?'

"Where's it coming from?" I ask to nopony in particular. Hopefully, it might have just been some unlucky schmucks house, or maybe somepony set their wagon on fire. My hopes may as well have jumped off of a cliff and been dashed against the rocks.

"It's coming from the school!" Lyra cries, suddenly joining the three of us. 'The school? What the fuck happened to...the...oh...oh no. Oh nononono. Fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK!'

"Those stupid little twats..."

"Alex? What's wro-" I don't hear the rest of what Twilight had to say, before I jump into action. The mares can only struggle to keep up as I begin towards school, hellbent on ensuring that the most likely causes of the fire were safe and unharmed.

No matter the cost.

Author's Notes:

What's that you say? Cliffhangers are in season? Well aint that swell.

Shit's kicking off today, boys and girls! What in the blazes mind the pun have the CMC done? And will it cost them dearly? Meanwhile, Greyson's piecing together Twilight's sudden strange behaviour. And if his assumptions are correct, what does that mean for the pair of them? Is love in the air for two of Ponyville's residents? Well, we know that smoke is about to be!

Stay tuned for the next chapter, folks! Peace.