To Be A Hero, Of Course

"Come on, Greyson! We're going to be late!" Shouts Twilight, standing at the front door, anxiously looking between me and the clock. 'Patience, mare, patience!'

"Calm it, Sparky. We've got plenty of time, just give me a second." I casually reply, taking longer than I probably needed. Messing with Twilight was always a fun thing to do. Seconds later, I feel myself being pulled towards the door, a familiar magical aura gripping my collar. "Ever heard of patience? It's a virtue, y'know. One you seem to not have?"

"Well, have you ever heard of punctuality? Come on!" She whines, her magic still pulling me towards the door. Shaking my head at her impatience, I put up a fight against Twilight's magic. The sudden resistance throws Twilight off guard, her spell falling apart. Watching her fall face first into the ground, I lose my shit.

"Oh my god, that was bloody brilliant! What I wouldn't give for a camera...right...now..." My voice dies in my throat, as I see her face. 'Jesus, that smile is terrifying.' "Sparky? Come on, that was funny, right? You can't tell me that that wasn't fun-what are you doing...? Sparky...? Oh come on, please don't do thi-YOU BIIIIIIIIII--"

"Remind me again why we, meaning me, are going to this picnic?" I ask, rubbing the sore part of my face. As it stands, being flung out the library face first onto the road can be a rather painful and unpleasant experience. Thankfully, nothing was broken, and Twilight seemed apologetic enough. Though, I'm positive I could hear her giggling at my pain when she apologised. 'Sadistic mare.'

"Because the girls, myself included, want to hear about everything that happened at the castle." She replies. 'Well this'll be an interesting morning.'

"Yea, I get that, but why not at the library? Why do we have to walk through the entire town to get to a hill, just for a picnic and an interrogation?"

"Look around you, Greyson. It's a beautiful day for a picnic. Rainbow and the weather team went through all this effort, and you want to stay inside?"

"Uhh....yes? Being a hermit is fun, y'know. I could make a fort out of the hundreds of books you have." I say.

"Do that and you'll regret it." Warns Twilight, not taking the threat to her precious pieces of literature lightly. Holding my hands up in mock surrender, I chuckle.

"Yes, Princess. Whatever you say, princess. Don't hurt me princess." Laughing at my antics, the pair of us continue on our way, carrying on down the road and towards our destination. We made it about half way, when all of a sudden we hear a commotion behind us. Turning around before I could, Twilight's eyes widen, and she shouts for me to move. Turning on the spot, I quickly take notice of the speeding cart hurtling towards me, and the fact that the cart appeared to be occupied. Believing that the occupants were in danger, I attempt to slow down, if not stop the cart itself. How, you may ask?

With my body, of course. What else? Magic?

Taking the full impact of the cart, I'm thrown a few metres away from where I once stood, coming to a stop on my back Somehow, I didn't appear to be injured in any serious way, though I was most definitely winded.

"Greyson!" Cries Twilight, rushing to my side, checking me over for any injuries. "Are you alright!? Are you hurt!?" 'Physically? No. My pride? Quite possibly.'

"Yea...I'm good...Didn't hurt...as much as...I thought..." I answer, taking a moment to recover. Pushing myself up off of the floor and into a sitting position, I quickly take notice of the sudden movement on my lap. And then again. And then for a third time. Looking down, I take note of the three fillies currently lying on my stomach, two of whom I recognised, and all three of which were staring at me in a mixture of fear and embarrassment. 'Well, well, well. If it aint the three musketeers.'

"H-hi, Mr G-Greyson." Sweetie Belle sheepishly says, giving me an embarrassed smile. 'Code Red: Heart In Danger. Think Angry Thoughts.'

"Hey Sweetie. Nice of you all to drop in. Or, drop on, in this case." I joke, much to both her and her friends' amusement. Looking to the two fillies next to her, I quickly recognise the Earth Pony and Pegasus as being from the local school, the former being Applejack's younger sister. "And you as well, Applebloom. How's your sister been?"

"She's been all right, Mr Greyson!" She replies, look up at me. "Been busier, what with ya' being gone for a week. Speakin' of, where have you been, anyway?" She asks, curiosity overriding her fear. 'Narnia, kid.'

"Nowhere special. I got invited to stay for a week at the royal castle. Bit boring, if you ask me." I answer. Seeing how they were no longer looking at me in fear, but instead in awe and wonder, I smirk. "What? Don't believe me?"

"You went to the castle? With the Princess?"

"Princesses." I correct the young apple farmer, much to their amazement. "There were three, actually. And a Prince, but he wasn't as nice as the princesses." 'Yea, they're far too young for me to go into further detail about that twat.'

"That's so awesome! Not as awesome as Rainbow Dash, but still!" Comes the little orange pegasus. Raising an eyebrow at this bold claim, I smirk. Before I could challenge such an absurd notion, a familiar voice cuts me off.

"Of course he isn't, squirt. It's me we're talking about." Comes the proud voice of Rainbow herself, suddenly appearing next to me. 'Speak of the devil.'

"Oh really? Not as cool as Skittles over here? What's your name, kid?" I ask the filly.

"I'm Scootaloo." She answers. 'I swear these names get weirder and weirder with each new pony I meet.'

"Well, young Scootaloo, you really think she's the coolest pony ever?" I ask, nodding towards Rainbow.

"Yea! Rainbow's the fastest flyer in Ponyville, maybe even in Equestria! She's the only pony to perform a Sonic Rainboom in, like, forever! That's the coolest thing ever!" 'The fuck is a Sonic Rainboom?'

"A Sonic Rainboom? What's that?" I ask, looking to Rainbow for an answer. Smirking, she looks at me as if I'd asked her to explain how impossibly awesome she was. Knowing her, I probably somehow did.

"Oh, it's nothing special. It's only where I go faster than the speed of sound itself!" She explains, her explanation thick in arrogance. 'So it's where she breaks the sound barrier, then? I'd say that's impossible, but if a pony can raise and lower the sun, then anything's bloody possible around here.'

"Huh...Not bad, Dash, not bad." I compliment, feeding her ego. "Still, did you go face to face with Nightmare Moon herself?" At this, her eyes widen, and she looks nervously between me and Scootaloo.

"Well, not exactly, bu-" 'Strike one...'

"And are you on first name basis with Equestria's royal family?"

"No, bu-" 'Strike two...'

"Aaaand, did you stare down an Ursa Minor and live to tell the tale?" I finish, smiling. Letting out an exasperated sigh, the mare crosses her forelegs and looks in the opposite direction, evidently annoyed at being outclassed. 'STRIKE THREE! Take a seat, young Rainbow.' "See, girls?" I turn my attention to the three fillies, who were looking at me in wonder. "Whilst Dash over here may be the most amazing pegasus you've ever met," This gets a smile from the mare in question, "I'm the most amazing human you've ever met, and don't you forget that." They nod. 'Lesson learnt.'

"But you're the only human they've ever met." Says Twilight, now joining the four of us. 'Exactly'

"And your point is?" I ask the unicorn, who sighs in response.

"I'm not even going to bother." She mumbles.

"That's probably for the best." Concurs Rainbow. Turning back to the three fillies, I raise an eyebrow.

"Now about you three." I smirk, looking down at the three fillies in my lap. "What to do about you? Speeding dangerously down the road in a cart? In my world, that'd be a fine and a couple points on your license, if it were a car."

"What's a licen-"

"No interrupting, Sparky." She closes her mouth. "Not only were you putting everypony else around at risk, you more importantly put yourselves at risk." The realisation that they could've been seriously injured shows itself on their muzzles, as their eyes widen. Exchanging nervous glances, they look to me, regret easily distinguishable on their muzzles. "So what do you three have to say for yourselves?"

"Sorry, Mr Greyson. We won't do it again." The apologetic trio say. Nodding, I smile.

"Good girls." I reply, ruffling up their manes. "Now, off with you three. My lap is not a cushion. You'd have to pay premium for that privilege." I laugh, the fillies now jumping off of me. Sweetie, however, turns around, and wraps her small forelegs around my waist. 'Well, we've reached Defcon 1 in terms of cuteness, Mr President.'

"Thank you for not being angry at us, Mr Greyson." She beams, giving me a wide smile. Unable to resist, I scratch the unicorn filly behind her ears, much to her delight. 'So they do love it. Huh, they have a lot in common with horses back home, actually. Apart from the talking, magical, civilised aspects of these ponies.'

"Anytime, Sweetie. Now get going, I got places to be." I say, watching the filly jump away from my waist and towards her friends. Rising to my feet, I turn to face Twilight and Rainbow, who were both stunned. "What's up with you two?" Twilight is the first to recover.

"I didn't know you were good with foals?" Comes a still surprised Twilight. 'Why's that so shocking to them?

"What can I say? I'm a man with many talents." I reply, grinning at the pair.

"Not many stallions are good with foals. Seeing you like that was...well...cool!" Exclaims Rainbow, looking at me with a newfound respect. Looking behind the pair, I notice quite a few ponies, mares in particular, staring at me, a strange look in their eyes. Respect? Curiosity? I couldn't tell. Waving to the small crowd, I easily spot mares hiding away from my gaze, blushes prevalent on their muzzle.'Okay then...?' Turning back to the pair in front of me, I shrug.

"Glad to know that I'm still surprising you all, I guess. Now, perhaps we should get a move on? The rest of the girls are probably already there by now." I say, chuckling at how quickly Twilight had suddenly gone from being starstruck to being an agitated mess.

"Come on, let's go!" She cries, galloping away from us and towards the park. Chuckling, myself and Rainbow begin making our way towards the park, with the rainbow-maned mare trying to get information out of me about how the week at the castle had gone, to no avail. 'She can wait five minutes.'

"Have no fear, Greyson is here!" I announce to the group, finally arriving at our spot at the park, Rainbow landing next to the mares. Feeling a sudden impact to my chest, I look down to see Pinkie latched onto my abdomen, apparently deciding that she wanted to try and squeeze the life out of me.. 'Alexander, pony magnet. Get one before it's gone.'

"Greyie!" 'Uuughh.' "You took soooo long getting here, and I was beginning to think you'd gotten lost! But it's Ponyville, so you couldn't have gotten lost, especially since you had Rainbow with you, and she could have just gotten a view of the town from the air! But wh-"

"Pinkie!" We all cry, silencing the party planner, who releases me and bounces back to the group. 'She's insane.'

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm late. I got sidetracked." Defending myself, I sit down next to Applejack and Twilight, leaning against the tree we were using as shade.

"Sidetracked? Whatever do you mean, darling?" Questions Rarity, looking at me inquisitively.

"Well, a few fillies decided that commandeering a cart and riding it down Ponyville's M18 was a great idea." I explain. "Road, they sped down the road." I add, seeing that most of the girls were confused at what I'd just said.

"Oh dear, I hope they're alright." Fluttershy says, looking at me worriedly.

"Yea, they're fine. I jumped in front of the cart and ended up stopping the thing. Thankfully, the three landed on me instead of the ground, so they're all good." Now she was looking at me with concern. Jumping to her hooves, she quickly flies over to me, checking for any injuries. "Calm it, sweetheart. I'm fine, Flutters." Letting out a sigh of relief, she returns to her spot, sitting back down.

"Well, as long as they're alright, I s'pose. Still, their folks should have a few words with them." Says Applejack. 'Yes, you should.'

"Funny you should say that, AJ." I say, turning to the apple farmer. "One of the fillies was Applebloom." Upon hearing this, her eyes widen. "And another was Sweetie Belle." I add, looking at Rarity, who more or less mimics Applejack's reaction. "As I said, they're perfectly fine." This calms them down, though they're understandably still upset at their siblings.

"That darn sister of mine, always getting into trouble. Ah'll have her doing chores all afternoon." Applejack growls. 'Rest in Peace, Applebloom, you cute little southerner.'

"And Sweetie Belle? How could she be roped into such a silly scheme? My, it's absurd." Cries a distressed Rarity, throwing a foreleg over her head. 'And Sweetie as well. Save me a spot in Heaven, girls.'

"Go easy on them, you two. They're just foals, after all. Besides, nopony or human was hurt."

"Still, they should be more careful in the future, Greyson. What if they were to hurt another foal? Or themselves?"

"I doubt that'll happen. Hell, they told me they wouldn't try anything like that again, and they're good kids, so hopefully they'll do as they promised." I say. "Now then, enough about the fillies. How about we get to what we came here to do?"

"Eat all this yummy food?" Answers Pinkie, throwing open a picnic basket, plates somehow landing perfectly on the picnic blanket in front of us all.

"And that, yes. You all want to know what happened over the past week, yea?" As expected, they all nod. "Well then. Sit back, relax, get some popcorn and get ready. The story's about to begin..."

"5 bottles!? How are you not dead!?"
"Ah'd love to give that Blueblood a piece of mah' mind!"
"Two days!? You were in a coma for two days? Why didn't the princess tell me?"
"I can't believe it. This can simply not be the Prince I've heard about."
"When's their wedding? Can I be a bridespony? Oh! Can I organise it?"

Their questions were coming at such a rapid rate that I found myself unable to answer any of them, and they were still coming. Now, I'd specifically left out the part of about meeting Cadance and Shining Armour, as I wanted to keep their impending marriage a secret so as to surprise Twilight at a later date.

However, whilst I could easily tell whose question was whose, there was one voice which I couldn't hear, whether it had been drowned out by the other voices I did not know. 'Where's Flutters?' Looking around, I realise that she had come to stand next to me, looking at me with sympathy. 'What's up with her?'

"Flutters? What's wrong?" I ask, concerned for my friend.

"You....you can't go home?" She whispers, tears forming in her eyes, the rest of the girls now quietening down. 'Oh...That's why.' Giving the mare a sad smile, I nod.

"No, I can't." Upon hearing this, she throws herself around me, openly weeping. This quietens the group down, this piece of information now being at the forefront of their minds. 'Well this got depressing real fast. Quick, think of something, Alex!' Wrapping my arms around the yellow pegasus, I chuckle. "Aww, come on, Flutters. Don't cry for me, sweetheart. This is my home now." I say, trying to reassure the mare. It works to a degree, as she moves away to look me in the eyes.

"Re-really?"

"Really really." And she proceeds to dive back into my shirt, holding me tighter. 'First Sweetie, then Pinkie, now Fluttershy? Anyone else want a turn?' Looking to the rest of the mares, they all smile at me, nodding at my kind words. Though, Applejack was giving me a suspicious look. 'Don't do it, AJ.'

"So, Alexander, hmmm?" Twilight grins. 'Thank god for Sparky.' Looking to the lavender unicorn, I chuckle.

"Yea, laugh it up, Sparky. Alexander Ian Greyson at your service, girls." I say.

"Did you really hide your first name because you didn't trust us?" Asks Rarity, upset at how I'd withheld something like this for so long.

"Hey, as I said, I didn't know what to do when I first saw you all. With you all calling me Greyson every day, it just slipped out of my mind. Sorry, girls." I say, giving them all an apologetic look. Trotting over to me, Pinkie joins Fluttershy in the act of hugging. 'Yay, more pony hugs. My favourite.'

"It's all right, Alex! I forgive you!" The pink pony says, both herself and Fluttershy returning to their spots.

"I believe we all do, isn't that right girls?" Asks Twilight to the rest of the mares, who all agree with Twilight. Looking to each of the mares in turn, I smile.

"Thanks girls, this means a lot, really it does." I gratefully reply. With the atmosphere now back to normal, the girls begin talking amongst themselves. Sighing, I lean back against the tree, thinking over what I had said to Fluttershy just moments ago.

This is my home now.

This is my home now.

Is it?

Author's Notes:

Well this chapter has been interesting. A speeding cart to the chest, a Sweetie Belle to the chest, a Pinkie Pie to the chest, and then a Fluttershy to the chest. Alex must have ribs of steel to withstand such constant assaults.

And the Crusaders, as well. He's already met Sweetie and Applebloom, the former when he acquired some new clothes and the latter during his time working on AJ's farm. But Scootaloo? He'll probably get to know her better later, as I doubt this will be the last time we see the three mischievous fillies in action.

Observant readers may have spotted that Call of the Cutie hasn't been written in this story, yet the CMC have already befriended each other. That's intentional. I don't plan on CotC being in this story, so I'm going with the CMC being formed already, probably around the time Greyson was at the castle. We'll go with that, alright? Cool? Cool.

And finally, we've reached over 10K views! Thank you all so much for helping this trash reach such a milestone. Out goddamn standing!

Next chapter will see the story returning to normal, with Alex and friends getting into more misadventures. Until next time, folks! Peace.