...Make Lemonade

"So, ladies. What's for dinner?" I ask the three mares, who were still in the process of recovering from what had just unfolded before them. Composing herself, Celestia was the first to speak.

"A variety of delicacies, all native to Equestria. Hopefully, they shall all be edible for one such as you, Greyson."

"Well, as long as you haven't ordered any of it to be poisoned, I'm sure I'll live." I joke, getting a giggle out of unknown royal. 'I'm gonna guess that she's Cadance, seeing as how that's the only other royal I know. Apart from that asshole from before.

"And you must Princess Cadance, yes?" She nods. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance, m'lady." I say, taking her hoof in my hand and planting a kiss on it, much to her amusement.

"So you're the famous Greyson my aunties have been telling me so much about." She says, giving me a kind smile.

"Only good things, I hope?"

"Only to expect that you'll be very charming, unorthodox and eccentric?" 'Heh, got it one.

"Damn. I'm getting too predictable. Still, got it one, sweetheart." I say, taking a seat opposite the three royals. Now that everyone was seated, minus one prince, Celestia rang a bell, signalling that we were ready for our food. Within moments, servants carrying plates of food trotted into the dining room, surrounding the table before placing their trays on the flat, wooden surface. Thanking them all, they leave us to it. "Shouldn't we wait for uh...What's his face to come back? Blueballs, was it?" I ask, chuckling as Luna begins choking on her food, laughing.

"I don't think he shall be joining us this evening." Replies Celestia, chuckling at his new nickname. Nodding in understanding, I begin the always enjoyable task of eating, not surprised at how divine the food tasted. 'Only the best for royalty.' Noticing that the mares had started up a conversation, I decide to sit back and enjoy the food, content with allowing them to enjoy their private conversations. 'Never was good around a dinner table.'

However, I suddenly felt as if somebody was looking at me. Looking up, I notice that whilst Celestia and Cadance were in their own little world, Luna was looking at me, a strange look on her face. Realising that I'd caught her staring, she quickly returned to her food, trying her hardest to hide the sudden blush that had come over her. 'She's been acting rather weird, lately. First the sudden hug in the study, now this? She good?' Before I could further think on the princess's strange actions as of late, Celestia decided to interrupt my thoughts.

"How is she doing, Greyson?" Asks Celestia. 'Oh yay, I haven't been paying attention. Play it off, Alex.'

"Sorry, I was just lost in thought. How's who?" I say, giving the mares a sheepish smile.

"My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. How has she been during the time you've spent with her?" 'Oh, Sparkles.'

"Sparky? She's all good, I think. She's yet to burn down the library, or kill me in my sleep, or both. So I guess she's all right." I say. This gets a laugh out of the royal trio.

"Sparky? Oh, Shiny would love that." Cadance says, still chuckling. 'Wait, Shiny? Does she mean Shining Armour?'

"Who's Shiny? Shining Armour?" She nods. "What's the cap got to do with Sparkles?" I ask, confused as to what relationship the two unicorns had.

"The captain is Twilight's older brother, Greyson." Answers Celestia, much to my shock. 'Shit, Sparky's got a brother? She never told me? Huh. Go figure.'

"Brother? Well, that's a shock and a half. She never told me she had a brother. And Captain of the guard, no less? Heh, what else is she hiding from me? Oh! Maybe she's a princess in disguise." I remark, earning an eye roll from Celestia and another pair of giggles from the younger royals.

"I'm surprised, Greyson, at how well you have handled these past few weeks." Says Celestia, out of nowhere, getting another confused look from me. "I mean, all of this." She gestures around the room, and to the mares at the table. "Think of Twilight, for example. You've been living under her roof for some time now, and I'm sure by now you've seen how she can be when it comes to something like me." Chuckling, I nod.

"That I have. Before I left Ponyville, she kept reminding me of mannerisms, and how to act in front of royalty. She was a bit worried my usual behaviour would, and I quote, 'Result in banish" I say, mimicking the lavender unicorns voice for comical effect. It works, much to their amusement.

"Quite. As you can see, she views me in such high esteem, much like the rest of my little ponies. As nice as it is, I do find it tiresome to deal with all day long." She admits. "To be treated as a goddess for almost as long as I can remember can be rather stressful." 'Power does have it's drawbacks.' "But you, Greyson? You seem to treat everything so...nonchalantly, as if everything happening to you now has already happened many times before, and it was now just a common occurrence."

"Well, yea? Who hasn't been thrown into a pony wonderland every now and again?" I sarcastically remark, before realising the princess hadn't finished.

"You continue to prove my point. Any other pony would have crumbled under the circumstances, of finding themselves lost on a world, alien to themselves, with nothing but their own wits and willingness to survive. But you? You stared down Nightmare Moon without falter. You willingly threw yourself in harms way to protect a pony you'd only known for a few hours, at most. Why, not too long ago you sauntered into my throne room, without so much as a care for any possible repercussions. How? How do you manage to stay so optimistic and nonchalant?" She finishes, the room now eerily silent, with three sets of eyes on mine. Hell, you could probably drop a pin in here and it would be heard from a different room. The atmosphere remained like this for the next few moments, whilst I formulated a response to such a question.

Leaning backwards into my chair, I sigh. "A few weeks ago, I was walking through a park, making my way home. And then all of a sudden, I'm in a whole different world, wherein the first few hours spent in it were questioning whether or not I had gone insane, and that everything was but a figment of my messed up imagination. Hell, I hadn't even been in this world for twenty four hours, before I'd found myself saving it. As of now, any sense of normality that I once knew, is dead. It died the moment I woke up here, and I'm still not sure whether that's a good thing or not. But for now?" I chuckle. "Now I'm just rolling with it, Sunshine. As a famous man once said: when life gives you lemons," I say, standing up. "Make lemonade." And with that, I nod to princesses, turn on my feet and exit the dining room, leaving the equally speechless mares at the table, processing exactly what I'd just told them.

Exiting the dining room, I realise that I now had no idea what to do with myself. Deciding to just 'roll with it', as I'd said, I walk off in a random direction, looking for something interesting. Along the way, I find myself impressed with how well managed every part of the castle truly was. The corridors were evidently well cleaned, and I couldn't see anything wrong with the castle at all.

Apart from the fact that it was literally bright as all hell and would likely give a lesser man epilepsy on the spot, but I digress.

I was so busy marvelling at the architecture, however, that I nearly walked straight into a set of doors, just about catching myself. Opening them, I realise that they lead straight outside, and into a large garden. Wanting to explore a bit more of the outside, seeing as how I'd yet to even see the outside of the castle, apart from the courtyard where the carriage had landed, I step into the garden, closing the doors behind me, before venturing forwards.

Minutes pass, and, like the interior of the castle, I've found myself in wonder at how peaceful the garden is, with only a guard or two being seen every so often. 'I'll be coming here more often, that's for sure.' Deciding to just sit down and enjoy the garden's natural tranquillity, I walk over to a nearby tree and sit down, leaning on it. 'So, Alex. Or should it be Greyson, now? It's been a while since anyone's called me by my first name. Hell, nopony here even knows my first name. Only people that do are back on Earth, and there aren't even that many there who except, except for my boy Jordan and that bartender I still owe. Damn, I wonder if anyone's even reported me missing, yet. I've been gone for a while, now, so somebody must've noticed by now. It'll be an interesting story to tell when I get back.... If, I get back...'

"But do I want to go back, is the question." I say to myself. Sighing, I lean my head back against the tree, looking to the stars. "You've got a life here, as weird as it is. You got a job, you got friends, all you need now is a girlfriend and you're sorted, mate." I chuckle, before going silent. "Yea, good luck with that one, now." I say, before cringing internally. 'Eugh, don't be saying that, Alex, You sound like one of those edgy teens who think that nobody will ever love him/her because of who he/she is. Stop it.'

The sound of doors being opened brings me out of my thoughts, however. Looking over to where the noise came from, I realise that I was now no longer alone in the garden. Stepping into the garden, Flash Sentry quickly spots me waving at him, and makes his way towards me.

"I was told I might find you here." He says, standing over me.

"Damn, is my spy network compromised? Who snitched?" I remark, the guard shaking his head in amusement.

"Princess Celestia asked me to find you, seeing as how you apparently left the dining room and went off without any idea where you were going. Then, one of the passing guards told me he saw you heading towards the gardens, in which we now find ourselves." 'Daww, is Sunshine worried about me? That's cute.'

"Nah mate, you've got the wrong human. He went that-a-way." I say, pointing further down the garden, getting a blank stare in return. Getting back to my feet, I crack my neck and turn to Flash. "So what's Sunshine wanting?" Raising an eyebrow at my nickname of her, he shrugs.

"Just to make sure you didn't get lost, seeing as how you haven't seen much of the castle yet without a guide." 'What is she, my mother?'

"Christ on a bike, what am I, five? I'm a big boy, Flash, I don't need a babysitter." I say, a bit harsher than I meant for it to sound. Sighing, I smile. "Besides, being lost would probably be fun. I'll tilt all the paintings just to piss her off." At this, we both share a chuckle.

"I bet it would annoy her majesty, but you can do that later. For now, maybe I should get you back to your room? It's quite late, after all, and I don't think the princesses would like it if I left you wandering the halls throughout the night." 'That would be hilarious, actually.' Stifling a yawn, I nod. 'I guess I should probably call it a night now, anyway.'

"Alrighty then, Flash. Lead the way." I say, gesturing to the garden doors. Shaking his head, he turns and heads towards them, with me following close behind. 'That reminds me."

"Speaking of bets, do you remember the one we made just outside the dining hall?" I ask, unable to keep the shit eating grin off of my face. Knowing exactly what I was referencing, he sighs, before pulling a small bag from a pouch on his armour, throwing it to me.

"I hate you."

"Pfft, no you don't."

Waking up the next morning, I notice two things. Firstly, I'm in quite possibly the comfiest bed to ever exist. How I didn't notice this last night is beyond me, but I'm not complaining. And secondly, it's really goddamn bright.

"Celestia, can you just take your sun and fuck off somewhere else?" I mumble, still not fully awake. As if she could hear me, the sun shone just a bit brighter, the light forcing me to scrunch up my eyes. Realising that arguing with a celestial body of pure heat would be futile, I drag myself out of bed and make my way to the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, I'm washed and dressed, ready for the day. Lying back down on the bed, I wait for something to happen.

Thankfully, I didn't need to wait long. Hearing a knock at my door, I call out to whoever it was to come in. Moments later, the door opens, revealing an all too familiar guard.

"Good morning, Greyson." Flash says, trotting into the room. "Sleep well?"

"I did, cheers for asking." I reply, thanking the guard. "So what brings you to my little corner of the castle?" I ask, though already having an idea as to what he was here for.

"Breakfast shall be served in the dining room in twenty minutes." He informs me.

"Christ, what are you, the princesses personal courier?" At this, he smirks.

"No, but I can be the prince's royal jailer." 'Oh?' Raising an eyebrow at this statement, he continues. "He's informed some of the guards to arrest you on sight. Including me." I'm unable to prevent myself from laughing, much to Flash's confusion

"Oh..Ha...Please tell me you're serious." I ask, hoping that this isn't a joke. When he nods in confirmation, the laughter returns tenfold. 'Ah....My...my sides! They hurt!'

"What exactly did you do to him, Greyson?" Flash asks, tilting his head in confusion. Composing myself for just a minute, I turn to the guard.

"Oh, I called him a cunt at dinner yesterday." I say, before once more descending into laughter, this time joined by Flash himself, unable to stop himself. I'm pretty sure I can hear the guards outside laughing as well, but I'm not too sure. A full minute later, and we've managed to calm down, albeit with a few chuckles here and there.

"By Celestia, that is beautiful. Literally everypony in the castle has been wanting to call him that, maybe even the princess herself." He admits.

"So Blueballs wants me arrested, eh? Beautiful." I say, the nickname sending Flash into further hysterics. Suddenly, a stupid, yet funny as all hell idea comes into mind. Turning to Flash, who had now once more recovered, I gesture to the doors. "Let's get to the dining hall and see what happens. Chances are he thinks I'll be in a cell, so I won't be at breakfast, thereby he'll be free to join the princesses without me being there." Agreeing with my logic, Flash nods, before looking worried.

"But Greyson, this was an order by a member of royalty. I can't disobey his majesty, as much as I'd like to, so you have to be in the cells." He says sadly, looking at me apologetically. At this, I smile, as a plan formulates in my head.

"Oh, but Flash my pony friend, you are arresting me. We're just going to take a little....detour." Realising what I was implying, the guard smiles, before nodding. A minute later, we're both on our way to the dining hall, with my wrists in chains. Surprisingly, the hatred for Blueblood runs further than Flash Sentry, as when the guards we passed informed us that the castle jail was a different direction, they let us go when we explained to them what was happening, laughing to themselves at our devious plan. Hell, the maids hate him as well, as many of them looked at me in pity, and whispers of unfairness reached my ears.

Reaching the dining hall, I take a small look inside. Seeing that everypony I needed to be here was in fact now here, including Shining Armour. I nod to Flash. Before he opens the doors, however, he turns to me.

"Okay, as much as I'd like to see this happen, what happens to me?" He asks, as I turn towards him. "I mean, I'm just a guard, and he's the prince. He'll most likely fire me after this. As boring as it might seem, I like this job, Greyson." He finishes,

Telling him that I've got it all sorted, he nods, and, taking a deep breath, opens the doors. Unsurprisingly, this ends up bringing the room's entire attention upon the pair of us, but more specifically me. Sauntering my way into the throne room, I look upon the faces of those present. The reactions were unsurprisingly mixed. The mares, as normal, we're not looking very happy with my situation, whilst Blueblood was moving between shock, smugness, and finally, horror, in quick succession. 'You've messed up, Blue. I'm so going to enjoy this little act.'

"Private Flash Sentry! What is the meaning of this!?" Demanded an outraged Shining, looking between the pair of us. Snapping to attention, Flash turns to Celestia.

"Your Majesty, myself and many of the guards we're ordered by his majesty, Prince Blueblood, to find and detain Greyson, and to bring him to the cells." He responds, still holding his salute. At this, the royals now looked at each other, before all of the princesses turned to face Blueblood, who had just shaken away his horror and replaced it with anger.

"How DARE you make such laughable claims! I never ordered such an act. This..this is all a ploy by that..thing!" He cries, pointing a hoof at me. Raising an eyebrow, I'm about to refute the royal prick, when another voice stops me.

"Your Majesties, the prince is a liar." Turning to the unknown pony, I realise that the voice's owner was none other than the maid I had helped yesterday. 'Whoa. Hello, Mrs...oh shit I never asked for her name. What a gentleman I am.' Realising she now had the attention of the entire room, the maid continued, coming to stand beside myself and Flash. "When I was doing my duties yesterday, my princesses, I overheard the prince ordering some of the guards to arrest Mr Gre- *AHEM* -Greyson, and to put him in a cell." Looking up to me, she smiles, which I happily return. Looking back to the table, I stroll forward.

"Sorry Blueballs, but I don't think this has gone the way you were hoping." I say, unable to keep the smugness out of my voice as I watch him move away from the table, outraged at both the failure of his plan, and my nickname of him. Turning to face the princess, my once smug face turns to one of confusion, seeing the princesses jump from their seats and yell both mine and Bluebloods name. For a moment I was confused, before I realised exactly what was happening. 'Oh no you fucking don't!'

In an act of desperation, I grab a nearby plate and I turn towards the prince, holding the plate up to my face and just about blocking the spell. Ignoring the fact that a plate of all things had managed to block magic itself, I throw it at the deranged unicorn, hitting his horn and causing him to fall back in pain. 'Captain America aint got shit on me.' Moments later, he's tackled to the ground by Shining Armour and Flash Sentry. 'The boys! Fuckin A!'

During this time, Cadance, Luna and the maid had surrounded me, forming a protective circle which I honestly no longer needed, as a number of guards swarmed in from both ends of the room, reacting to the sounds of fighting, surrounding both myself and Blueblood, preventing further violence from taking place. Meanwhile, Celestia was moving towards both Flash and Blueblood, who were still struggling on the floor. Making her way through the guards, she levitates the pair with her magic. She places Shining next to Cadance, and Flash next to the rest of us, whilst still keeping a terrified Blueblood hovering before her

"Nephew, do you have any idea as to what you could have just done?" She says, her tone quiet and emotionless. Not able to look her in the eyes, he shakes his head. "You could have KILLED him!" She shouts, the anger in her voice unmistakable. Not allowing her nephew to respond, she drops him back down to the floor, landing unceremoniously on his arse. Turning to a pair of guards, who snap to attention, she gestures towards the prince. "Escort my nephew to his chambers. Do not allow him to leave until I or my sister express otherwise." Nodding, they exit the room with Blueblood, who I give a sarcastic wave of goodbye to just before the doors close. Looking around the room, I notice that the rest of the guards were returning to their posts, the situation handled. Meanwhile, I was now the centre of attention, with everypony else present giving me looks of concern.

"Art thou unharmed?" Asks Luna, scanning my body for any signs of injury. Receiving a nod, she, along with everypony else, lets out a sigh of relief. Turning to Celestia, who was still giving me a look of concern, I smirk.

"What? Who hasn't been the target of an attempted murder before?" I joke, hoping to lighten the atmosphere. It works, as everypony present either chuckles at my uncaring attitude, or shakes their head in exasperation. Turning to the captain, Cadance narrows her eyes. "Did you know about this, Shiny?" she asks, shifting the room's attention to the captain. Realising he was now on the spot, he fervently shook his head.

"No, Cadance, I promise! I wasn't told anything, I swear!" He says, eyes wide. Keeping her eyes on him for a few moments, she smiles and nods.

"I believe him." She says, to which I find myself agreeing with. 'Yea, I don't think he'd want to piss of his girlfriend. Especially seeing as how she's a royal, lucky bastard.'

"I agree with the princess." I announce, drawing a surprised Shining's attention to me. "Mate, I just watched you deck the stallion who tried to kill me. Said stallion is, quite coincidentally, your prince. If you're willing to floor the prick, that's good enough for me." I say, reassuring Shining, who nods in appreciation. With the captain in the clear, I take a seat at the table, leaning back in the chair, before turning to the maid who's name I still didn't know. "So, I help you pick up a few dropped towels and whatnot and you repay me by standing up to the prince?" I say, astonished at her bravery, to which she averts her eyes, embarrassed at being in the spotlight now. "I don't even know your name yet, Mrs..?"

"Spring Cleaning, sir." She says, still looking at the floor. 'Spring...Cleaning...A maid called Spring Cleaning. Now I've heard everthing.' Smirking, I turn to Celestia.

"Well Sunshine, I do believe that Springs over here deserves a raise. Hell, why not make her a princess? She can have Blueballs's title." At this, Celestia smiles.

"Whilst I can't grant Mrs Springs a royal title, I do believe I can reward her for her bravery." She says. Nodding my head towards Flash, she continues. "...And for Private Sentry as well." At this, the guard in questions eyes widen in surprise.

"Indeed. Thou hast proven thy bravery." Chimes in Luna, moving away from me, making her way beside her sister. Like Springs, Flash's face was one of astonishment, as he turns to face me.

"Well I did say I had it all sorted, did I not? I wasn't going to leave you hanging, buddy." I say, getting a hoofbump in reply. "Besides, apart from the captain over there and a few stallions back in Ponyville, you're the only male I know who I can get along with, and god knows I need the friends." At this, the room laughs. "Now, onto more important matters. Firstly, when is breakfast meant to arrive, and secondly, can I please get these chains removed, now?" I ask, lifting my wrists up for all to see.

"Hmm...No, I think we should keep them on." Teases Celestia, levitating the key away from me.

"Wow, Sunshine. It's rather early to be getting this kinky, isn't it?" This statement has mixed reactions, with Shining, Springs and Flash looking mortified at what I was implying, Luna and Cadance were both struggling for breath at how much they were laughing, and Celestia herself shaking her head at my bold statement, an amused smile and a very light blush on her face, which I take great delight in seeing.

"Oh? Did I make the ever so composed princess blush?" I ask, wiggling my eyebrows. In response, her horn lights up and every single cushion from the chairs at the table rise up, much to my despair. Looking around for any assistance, I realise that nopony in the room was coming to my aid, giving me half arsed smiles of the You-Earned-This variety. Looking back to the princess, she flashes a smug smile. "So this is where Sparky got the idea of throwing books at me from." I say, unflinching in the face of my impending fluffy doom.

"Well, I am her mentor after all. She's learning from the best." And with that, I'm buried under a mountain of cushions, the last visible part of me beforehand being a pair of outstretched hands, with both middle fingers raised in her general direction.

Author's Notes:

Well, I've had a few days break, but I'm back!

So, this has been an interesting chapter. We had dinner, got a bit serious, went exploring, won a bet with Flash, survived an assassination attempt, and flustered Celestia herself. Mary Sue Ho!

I don't want to spoil what will happen next chapter, but things will get interesting, I'll tell you that much. So until that appointed time, I'll see you later, folks! Peace.