I stare down into my empty shot glass, as the legendary “Pinkie Party” rages around me. The first thing I did upon entering the room was locate the bar and procure some alcohol.

…

That was 2 hours ago.

‘20 minutes ago?’

2 HOURS AGO.

'But-’

HUSH.

For hours now everything has just been a blur of vomit inducing colors and voluptuous butts.

….

Hmmm something ain't right.

'You're drunk son’

“I'm not drunk.” I mumble out loud as I spin my chair around. I feel the Bartender's eyes on the back of my head. I stare out into the sea of ponies and notice some of Twilight’s friends mingling. I see a yellow Pegasus with pink hair, the same one that ran away from me when I first showed up in town. Apparently her name is Fluttershy, which makes me wonder how her parents were so good at foreshadowing the future, but so bad at naming.

The next girl was a white unicorn with curly purple hair who pissed me off by insulting my fashion sense within 10 seconds of meeting me. I couldn't help but say something unpleasant to retort, which is why I am now restricting myself to the bar and not that cluster of ponies where Twilight and her friends were. Most of the other ponies around have just been too scared to come over to me, or just busy having a good time and Lyra of all ponies was surprisingly nowhere to be found.

'You know who else is nowhere to be found?’

“Those fucking Princesses...” I grumble aloud.

“Uh sir?” The Bartender finally speaks up, making me spin my chair back around.

“Excellent timing! Hit me again please.” I request casually planting my glass down on the counter.

“Uh…You're Starting to talk to yourself. I think it may be time to stop.” The guy smiles nervously as I slowly stand up and tower over him.

“Bro.” I say coldly, making his ears Droop. “I am 100 percent sober right now, I'm not even feeling it breh." I lie.

“Yeah. Sober.” He squints.

“Not even buzzed” I smirk.

“Sir you've had 9 already. 5 is enough to floor most ponies.” The guy deadpans.

“Yeah but do I look like a pony to you?” I smile mischievously. We both give each other a hard stare “Just do me this one solid guy. This will be my last one I swear.” I tap my chest.

“You make a good point. Fine.” The Pony finally admits. He uses his magic to pour me another shot.

“Thank you! You have made my day my pony buddy! Fuck odd numbers anyway am I right? 10 just craps on 9 any day!” I smile and immediately snatch the shot glass from the table.

“Yeah whatever.” The guy rolls his eyes and looks away uncaring.

I decide to walk off with it, over to the snack bar and lean on the table. I pick up a cookie and take a bite out of it and experience pure good as fuckness. Yes I just said that, they're good! The taste despite being slightly mixed with alcohol just automatically calms my nerves with it's heavenly flavor and I finally relax Abit.

“DJ?” I hear Lyra call out timidly as she comes out of the crowd and looks up at me.

'Aaaaaand Relaxation over.’

“Oh there you are.” My smile fades.

“Are you alright? I've watched you drink enough cider to kill 2 ponies already.” She has a very worried look as she sits on her haunches next to me.

“Yeah Lyra I'm fine. This stuff is weak compared to human drinks anyway.” I look down into my glass, watching as the liquid waves around.

“Oh good! I'd hate for you to get sick.” Lyra gets this adorable warm smile.

“Uh-huh.” I take a big bite out of the cookie.

“So are you enjoying yourself so far?” Lyra asks curiously.

“No.” I state bluntly, making Lyra's ears Droop.

“What? Why not?” She looks slightly sad.

“Lots of reasons.” I chug my 10th shot down.

“Like?” Lyra tilts her head. I deadpan and look down at her Silently waiting for her to realize I'm keeping my mouth shut. “Fine...you don't have to tell me.” She sighs and folds her hoofs, which looks just as ridiculous as you think​ it does.

“Correct.” I say before eating the rest of the cookie.

“But I don't want you to be miserable.” She says sadly.

“There is nothing you can do about it Lyra. But I DO know what would make me slightly less miserable.” I kneel down to her level and smirk.

“What is it?” Her cheeks turn a bit red from my proximity.

“A refill.” I smirk as I shake my empty glass a little.

“...” Lyra deadpans.

“Actually make that two please, because odd numbers suck dick.” I add.

“You do realize alcohol Is a depressant right?” Lyra raises a brow.

“You want to help or not?” My smirk fades as I match her blank expression.

“Fine DJ fine.” She takes the glass with her magic and walks off.

“Thanks! And don't Tell the guy who it's for!” I call after her but my words are lost in the sea of music and talking ponies. By the way the music playing right now is surprisingly good, serious Props to the DJ.

“This isn't healthy…” Someone says from behind making me turn to see a taller than average unicorn mare with​ pink hair. She's looking up at me Quite seriously.

“No it really isn't. But I don't care.” I look down at her with a raised brow.

“DJ I must speak to you.” The pony whispers.

“You ARE speaking to me.” I point out.

“I mean privately.” She frowns.

“Excuse me a moment but Who the hell are you anyway?” I ask.

“It's me DJ.” She puts a hoof to her chest.

“I've never seen you before.” I blink in confusion. She starts to grumble in frustration.

“Come on I don't have all night. Let's just go upstairs and…” she trails off as her golden magic grabs my arm and starts to pull me but she stops whenever Lyra walks over to us carrying the drinks.

“DJ I've got your-” Lyra starts to say until she sees me and the pink mane girl.

“Oh thanks Lyra.” I say as I smile and take the shot glasses from her.

“DJ this is very important. Please come with me.” The pink mane girl urges me again. That's when her and Lyra makes​ eye contact, the mood seems to shift immediately. I recognize that look Their giving each other from kelly. It's that weird Hostile glare she gives other girls if they dare approach me whenever we're out together.

“Who is your friend DJ?” Lyra smirks slightly.

“Actually I still don't know who-” I Begin.

“You can call me Tia. I need to borrow him for some important business.” The pink mane girl smirks back. At this point I can practically see sparks between Their eyes.

“Business between your hindlegs huh?” Lyra says with venom and hatred. I look at her, my mouth slightly stuck open.

Woah.

'Well damn’

I watch the girl's cheeks turn as pink as her mane, her eyes widening. Lyra's smirk fades as her eyes narrow and she honestly looks somewhat intimidating.

“N..no absolutely not! I just have something private to discuss with him.” Tia frowns and blushes. Wait a second...she sounds familiar... maybe..

“Look Lyra let me just see what she wants so she can buzz off.” I pet her head lightly. Lyra's cold stare fades into sadness as her ears droop. Tia looks between us before Starting to head towards some stairs.

“But DJ…” She pouts as I follow.

“Hey I'll be back before you know it.” I smile warmly.

“I'll just be here then... Waiting as always...” Lyra sighs sadly. That line makes me flinch and practically slaps the smile right off my face as my thoughts turn to Kelly again. I feel some regret as I follow the pink maned mare up the stairs. That's when I notice how curvy this “Tia” is. Then I remember I'm looking at a fuckin talking unicorn and train my eyes to my feet until we reach the top and enter a side room. We walk into what I can only guess is a guest room, as it doesn't seem to have anything besides the basics.

The moment we enter I see the door slam shut covered in golden magic, the sound of the door locking puts a shiver down my spine.

“Ya know...we CAN talk with the door open.” I smile nervously. Tia Silently stares at me with an unsettling Amount of focus, her horn glowing brightly. Eventually her whole body starts to glow, almost blinding me. When it stops Princess Celestia is standing there looking Quite annoyed.

“Oooooooh it was you the whole ti-WAIT WHAT?” I blink in surprise.

“Yes. Yes it was.” Celestia deadpans.

“Why didn't you tell me?!” I almost spill my shots.

“I tried.” Celestia grumbles.

“You said ‘it's me’ that's not telling me anything! Why couldn't you just say it's Princess Celestia I'm in disguise? Look that took me two seconds to say!” I scold. The Princess's ears droop as her gaze drifts away from me.

“Look I use that persona for... other things. I didn't want anyone to know.” She looks a little embarrassed. I sigh and drink one of my shots.

“Whatever whatever just tell me why you dragged me off already.” I grumble.

“You agreed to come with me, I didn't drag anypony.” She snaps.

“Ok?” I can't help but flinch. Celestia sighs and rubs her forehead.

“I'm sorry I'm not myself, a little cranky when I'm tired, so let's just get on with it?” she says. “I need you to come with me.” She says, making me squint.

“But I literally just came with you somewhere.” I tilt my head slightly. She begins to glare at me as her horn glows brightly.

“I'm teleporting us there.” Celestia's eye twitches.

“Telewha-”

I'm blinded by golden light again. An instant later I'm standing in some sort of garden. I don't even get to take in its beauty, because my guts practically decide to suicide as I get the urge to hurl. Celestia Quickly senses this and puts a bucket under me just in time.

“Thy did not brace thine stomach did thee?” I see wuna at the corner of my eye.

“Uuuuugh Obviously not! How the fuck do you brace a stomach anyway?!” I grumble. “Sunshine over here didn't even warn me.” I point to Celestia who has a twitchy look.

“Sickness after teleporting is a common side effect...for weaklings.” I hear Nightmare behind me.

“Oh here we fucking go. The whole gang's here now huh?” I roll my eyes as I wipe my mouth with a napkin I snagged at the party. “I left my damn drink in that room.” I suddenly remember and Facepalm.

“You don't need it. In fact-” Celestia’s horn glows once more. In that moment my drunk ass thought she was gonna do something cool for once with her magic and summon up a beer fountain or some shit, but she pretty much does the exact opposite instead. I feel a very uncomfortable dull pain throughout my entire body as a clear liquid seems to leak out of all my pores, floating off in small droplets and gathering into a big ball. When it stops I fall to my knees shivering.

“Why do you keep hurting me?” I glare at Celestia.

“What we are about to tell you is important. I don't want you being too drunk to understand the gravity of this news.” Celestia states seriously. A shiver goes down my spine as I stand again.

“So did you just detox me?” I poke the floating orb of liquid that smells like the drinks I was chugging. Celestia wills it over to her before firing a small beam at it, which lights it on fire. It burns brightly for a moment before dissipating into smoke. I watch with wide eyes as Celestia says nothing and just looks at me coldly, the sleepy in her eyes Quite overwhelming.

“Um sister...why doth thou get some coffee and come back? Thou art not acting like thineself.” Wuna comes over to Celestia and rubs against her leg. Celestia's face softens as she smiles weakly at her sister.

“Infact get some rest dear sister. We can take it from here.” Nightmare actually says with passion rather than venom and hatred. The warm smile she was giving Celestia was actually quite welcoming.

“Thank you my sisters. Goodnight and goodluck.” Celestia seems to have a weight lifted off her shoulders. Before she walks off she places a hoof on my shoulder making me flinch.

“Goodnight...DJ. I'll check on you in the morning I promise.” Celestia claims. That comment right there pretty much put everything into perspective. They've got some bad news to tell me.

“See ya.” I wave weakly as my mood deflates like a balloon. When she's gone Nightmare and Luna look back at me. Nightmare's expression was neither friendly nore hateful while I notice Luna's ears are slightly flat as she looks concerned.

“Where should We begin.” Luna taps her hoofs together.

“We have bad news and worse news. Which would you like first?” Nightmare tells me Straight.

“Sooo many options.” I roll my eyes.

“We shall begin with the bad news.” Luna sighs.

“We know how you got here and who sent you.” Nightmare states.

“Isn't that a good thing?” I raise a brow.

“Nay. Twas honestly... the worst possible outcome.” Luna admits. They start to walk through the garden and I follow closely behind them until we get to a familiar Looking statue. My heart almost jumps out of my chest when I realize.

“That's the thing that… “ I trail off. Nightmare clears her throat making me focus on her.

“There are an unlimited amount of unique Universe​s out there, including the one you came from and the one you're in now. The space between them being known as the Veil.” Nightmare starts.

“The Veil huh…” I rub my chin.

“The Veil is not very stable and tis prone to infrequent rips where one could slip through.” Luna says.

“Like I did?” I stare at the statue now. I honestly don't remember the figure I saw being as...rugged? It was more curvy. Then again I don't think I had time to examine body dimensions when running for my life.

“Yes but your transportation was odd. The rips usually only lead to parallel universes.” Nightmare says.

“Ours isn't?” I scratch my head.

“No… Universes that are parallel aren't too different from each other. For example one of our parallel universes is the same as ours but we are all anthropomorphic.” Nightmare calmly explains.

Hm... Anthropomorphic ponies. Walking on two legs, hands and all. I honestly kinda wonder what that looks like.

'Hot.’

What?

'shhh! They're explaining important shit’

“There is another where all of the genders were swapped, one where we use technology rather than magic and… Well you should get the point by now.” Nightmare says.

“Tis possible to visit the parallel universes with powerful spells which we hath done in the past.” Luna says.

“Well you can make a spell to take me back then right?” I look between them and I'm met with silence and blank stares.

“Universes​ that aren't parallel are beyond the power of even Alicorn Magic. Even if we knew which universe you were from it would be unlikely that time would have lined up and you could arrive 50,000 years after you initially left. It's pretty much... impossible.” Nightmare delivers the line that completely crushes my hopes.

“Oh… worse​ news.” I begin to shake as I feel my blood run cold.

“The entity that brought thou here is known as Discord. His chaos magic is unique to him and doth not follow the same rules as our own.” Luna gestures to the statue.

“It doesn't seem to follow any rules for that matter. We theorize he was able to use his reality warping power to send you here.” Nightmare explains.

“It...was different...it chased me into to the rip.” I say quietly.

“Even so. It's likely he influenced your destination.” Nightmare says.

I feel sick to my stomach as I stare into the statue's eyes unable to say anything at this point.

“So essentially... we cannot help thou...we art s.. Sorry.” Luna's voice strains and I can feel her sadness. There is a long silence before I start to laugh making Luna look at me funny. Nightmare simply raises a brow.

“It doesn't matter…” I chuckle.

“What?” Luna blinks in surprise.

“None of this is real anyway.” I deny casually.

“Derrick…” Luna's ears droop.

“I'm just gonna play along until it's over.” I claim.

“Don't do this to yourself.” Nightmare's eyes narrow slightly.

“None of this is real…” I'm shaking.

'Bro admit it.’

FUCK NO!

'This isn't healthy’

“Play all you want. But we have told you nothing but the truth.” Nightmare states surprisingly calmly​. I let out a long sigh and finally drop my careless facade. Who am I kidding?

“Dammit why me.” I facepalm and lean against a wall, slowly sliding down it until I'm sitting there pathetically. “Why did he do this to me?” I ask as I start to glare at the statue, a massive headache forming.

“We do not know. Discord takes pleasure in spreading chaos wherever he can. He doesn't need a particular reason. “ Luna comes over to me.

“You fuckers Don't worship him right? You've got him in the center of this garden like he's a sight to behold.” I say with venom.

“Nay. We hath used the elements of Harmony to subdue and turn him into stone.” Luna says.

“The elements….what?” I'm confused. Luna opens her mouth to explain but I hold my hand up and stop her. “No no no just no more I can't take anymore.” I shake my head. Luna's ears Droop again and I see Nightmare’s stoic look softening ever so slightly.

“Well we hath neglected our night duties long enough. Good night to thou.” She sighs before spreading her wings and flying off into the night sky leaving Nightmare and I alone. Some time goes by before I eventually push myself up and look at her.

“Can you bring me back to ponyville?” I ask carefully. Nightmare doesn't do anything but a casual nod before a glow of her horn sends us back a few blocks away from the party out of sight. This time I didn't even react as I felt both Physically and Emotionally numb.

“Thanks…” Is all I say to Nightmare as she still just looks at me Indifferently. I put my hands in my pockets and walk back towards sugarcube corner.

“Don't do anything you'll regret.” Nightmare warns me ominously before literally turning into blue mist and fading away. It's really strange that the one giving me hell ever since she met me wasn't rubbing salt in the wound right now. Perhaps even she recognizes the pain I'm in and doesn't feel it necessary. Or more realistically maybe she's just bored of messing with me.

It still hasn't fully sunk in yet...the fact that I'm actually stuck in this colorful dump. I seem to be taking it well so far like I usually take bad news. But sooner or later I'll crack right open and I hope none of these ponies are there to see when I do.

“DJ?” I hear Lyra calling excitedly. I turn to see her galloping over to me from the door of Pinkie's. I take one look at her and know that I'm not going to last long here.

“Hi...Lyra.” I say with a flat tone. Lyra immediately senses my distress.

“What happened? What did that mare want?” She asks curiously.

“Nothing. She just asked me a few dumb things about humans.” I lie and look away.

“I feel like that's not all what happened. You look miserable.” Lyra's ears Droop.

“I am. Very much so “ I admit with a sigh.

“Please tell me what happened DJ. It's not good to hold things In like that.” Lyra nudges me.

“Listen Lyra I've had a rough day. I want to be alone for a while so I can think.” I start to turn and walk away. Lyra pouts and looks like she's going to follow me. “Please Lyra.” I say Quite sternly making her freeze in place. “If they ask...Tell the others I said thanks for the party but I'm not feeling well. I hope they understand.” I turn and continue to walk away.

“Where will you go?” She asks with a sniffle.

“Bye.” Is all I can say as I walk without looking back. My headache is there full force now and it pounds relentlessly. I simply wander the town in the shadows until I'm certain I'm not being followed before finding a nice tree to chill under. I sit and lean against it and take in the decent view of the town before sighing.

This place is my life now? All because of some fucked up reality defying mutant creature? There was still so much I wanted to do. I hadn't even started on my bucket list yet! The worst part? I'll never again be able to see-

“Kelly…” My voice strains weakly. and with one word I've now hit rock bottom mood wise. She's​ probably having a similar breakdown right now. Probably trying to figure out where the heck in the woods I was. Now that I think about it it's been days already, she probably blew up my phone to no end and called the cops to report me missing already. I can only hope Mike and Austin are there to comfort her at least... something I'll never be able to do myself now Apprantly.

I never got to tell Kelly how I really felt about her, knowing this hurts more than anything else possibly could. Tears begin to stream down my cheeks as I remember the pleasant times Kelly and I had together throughout our lives. It's agonizing to think about never seeing her again and even more agonizing to think about how she doesn't even know I'm alive and just trapped in magic bullshit land.

I feel a buzz in my pocket and instinctively pull my phone out. At first I assumed it was just my battery dying, but I see the notification light blinking. My face is frozen in horror as I unlock my phone and see 6 missed calls as well as numerous text messages from Kelly stream in all at once.

…

What the actual fuck is going on? I've got full bars in another universe? Nevermind that I'm going to try my luck and see if I can get one last call in, and I know now what to tell Kelly. I start to feel a small amount of hope as I hit the call button and I actually hear it dialing.

“Hello?” I hear Kelly faintly answer.

“Kell? Oh God it's so good to hear your voice again.” I smile. Suddenly the sound on her end seems to cut out making me check my phone only to see it die from low battery right in my hands. I shoot up and stare down at my now blank screen in horror, the tears streaming down my cheeks again as I ball my fists in fury. I chuck the useless phone as far as I can and I watch it sail into the sky and land somewhere out of view. I start to feel immeasurable rage as I punch the nearest thing to me which is the thick tree I was standing under.

I'm surprised when my fist busts right through the bark instead of my knuckles breaking but that surprise is short lived as I start wailing on it, taking my anger frustration and sadness out on the tree. It doesn't last very long because eventually the thick tree trunk snaps like a twig and collapses to the ground. I finally stop and look at my shaking hands in horror wondering just what the hell is going on. First my phone blows up only for it to die with 60% battery left, and now I'm breaking things that would normally break me instead. Oh yeah! I know why! It's because nothing fucking makes sense in this horrible place! I'd rather die than stay here Another minute!

…

I'd rather die…

...

That's when I realize my gun is already in my hand.

I start to shiver as I lean on the tree trunk and slide down it again and stare down at the weapon. I slowly check if it's loaded and fortunately it is.

Fourtanatly…

'Don't do this.’

I have to.

'What?! Why?’

it's the only way to escape this hell.

'How can you be certain!?’

Because...the Princesses said so.

'And? They obviously don't know everything. There could be a way but you're not gonna find out if you blow yourself away.’

I don't care anymore…I've got nothing left to live for. The guns barrel feels cold on the side of my head.

'This isn't the way...you didn't even try to make it work. Why not just give this place a chance?’

Why? This is either some crazy dream or Some new fucked up reality, either way the exit method is the same. Give me a good reason. Any fucking reason.

'Kelly wouldn't want you to do this’

…

I take one long good look at the landscape surrounding me it's serene and colorful Vibe actually calms me down. I was so calm I didn't realize someone was standing in front of me. I look up and see the last person I expected Looking down at me.

Discord.

“Oh don't mind me. Continue with your internal conflict, I think it's adorable.” The bastard smirks.

“...” I stare up at him wordlessly.

“You're right though. You aren't going anywhere and it's impossible to return.” He puts his arms behind his back and paces around me. “So you can tell that Little voice in your head, that subconscious of yours to hush.” He chuckles.

'DJ No!’

I start to glare over at the revolting creature slowly pointing my gun at him. He deadpans and raises a brow.

“You really think that can hurt me?” He looks down at me. That's when I fire a few rounds at his face only for his neck to bend at an impossible angle to avoid them.

“What…” I blink in surprise and shake in horror.

“Silly little human.” Discord cackles. At this moment my anger fades into nothing but pure sorrow as i lower the weapon.

“Why…” I say weakly.

“Hm?” Discord raises a brow.

“Why did you do this?” I demand. Discord starts to snicker before going into full blown laughter.

“You should see your face! It's priceless!” He laughs. I sighs and shake my head. Why was I expecting a real answer? This guy is clearly a complete nut job.

“I've had enough” I declare seriously.

“You've got one bullet left​. You should use it wisely.” Discord suggests smugly.

“I will…” I say weakly as I point my weapon back to myself.

“Welp so long pal! It's a shame You didn't even find out how to get out.” Discord salutes me and starts to walk off.

“Excuse me?” I raise a brow.

“How else would you get back besides the way you came?” Discord says

“The rift you shoved me in-” I start.

“The one you walked in.” Discord corrects smugly.

“Is closed already.” I finish with a glare.

“Oh I'm well aware. The way I see it you've got two options.” Discord smirkes

“I'm listening.” I lower the gun slightly.

“You either blow your tiny brains out or...we make a little...deal.” Discord smiles mischievously.

“What kind of deal?” I ask curiously.

“The kind of deal that lets you go back to your old pathetic life. Provided you do me a few small favors.” Discord says. What could the favors be?

'Don't deal with the devil.’

…

But I could see her again... anything is worth that.

'Don't be so sure’

I don't even get to wonder because I see Luna suddenly zipping over to us from the sky.

“NAY!” She shouts as she swoops in and tackles Discord off his hoofs.

“Luna?” I blink in surprise.

“Don't you dare wake him!” Discord snarls at Luna. Luna Quickly points her horn at me and fires a thick beam right into me to my surprise. The beam strikes my chest and Sears a basketball sized hole straight through it making me cough up blood.

The next moment I'm shooting awake in the exact same spot without Luna or Discord in sight. I clutch my chest and am relieved to find that it is completely intact, save for my heart which was probably going to burst from excitement. I lean back on the tree and try to catch my breath Looking up slightly I realize that the tree is completely intact too. The rectangular bulge I feel in my​ pocket also confirms that my phone is on me which tells me that I was dreaming the whole time.

Oddly though I still have my gun in my hands loaded and ready and pointed right at myself. A moment later I see blue mist forming around me making a cold shiver go down my spine. Nightmare materializes from the mist and Immediately Stomps on my right arm Quite hard making me drop the gun forcefully. The weapon discharges and fires a round just under her wing making her flinch slightly.

“Gah fuck!” I shout as I clutch my arm in pain and watch as she kicks the weapon away.

“That slippery demon.” She growls.

“What the fuck is going on?! Shit I think you broke something!” I groan.

“Hold still.” She orders. When I stop moving she blast my arm with a beam that feels very soothing and a moment later I don't feel any pain. I look at Nightmare in surprise as she simply gazes down at me Looking Quite concerned.

“Thanks Nightmare.” A sentence that I never thought I'd say comes out awkwardly.

“Are you hurt?” She begins to check me and inspect me Quite closely.

“Me? What about you? You took a hit.” I frown as i point to her twitching wing.

“You need not worry.” She tucks her wing close to her and covers the spot. “Discord despite being trapped in stone has found a way to influence you.” Nightmare explains. “He almost got you to off yourself.” She says. I stare down at the ground where my pistol is, a dark expression on my face.

“No.” I say quietly. Nightmare turns to me, her cat like irises focusing on me. “That would have happened regardless of his influence. It was my choice.” I state emotionlessly.

“You were really going to…” Nightmare trails off her pupils shrinking slightly.

“Yes. Yes I was” I state boldly as I stare down at the gun. I hear Nightmare come closer to me.

“Why?” She asks quietly in a soft tone.

“Why...why do you care? I bet You would have been happy to see me blow my brains out anyway!” I snap with venom. I somewhat brace myself, fully expecting her to lash out at me physically or at least verbally but I'm surprised when I get nothing. After some silence I look over to her and notice that her ears are flat and she actually looks….miserable.

“I do not hate you Derrick.” She claims softly with her ears flat against her skull.

“I couldn't tell.” I say bitterly and Honestly.

“You popped out of nowhere from a land unknown. I had no reason to trust you, or believe you were just some poor lost soul.” She looks down at the ground shamefully.

“I'm not gonna hurt your damn ponies.” I sigh.

“I see now that you're truly a victim...a victim that would rather end it all than harm anyone. A victim that I practically walked all over.” She plops down onto her haunches.

“Nightmare…” my glare softens.

“I promised my sister I would try to renounce my wickedness, and yet I've soiled that promise by driving you to suicide. “ I see her Start to shake.

Woah. She's actually feeling remorse for how she treated me? I never thought I would see that from her.

“Stop it Nightmare.” I say seriously and she looks at me, her eyes slightly glistening. “Don't pin my attempt on yourself, you don't need that type of thing on your conscious.” I come over to her and look her in the eye. “You cracked a few jokes and scared me a little bit so what? My decision wasn't based on you. So don't blame yourself.” I slowly start to pet her head. When I touch her She immediately stiffens up, as her pupils narrow to slits. As if by reflex her wing shoots outward and knocks me into the air sending me flying where I fall on my back several feet away.

“GAH! Are you TRYING to give me reasons?!” I grunt in pain and rub my back, she rushes over to my side.

“I wasn't expecting you to do that... I apologise.” She says timidly as I stand and dust myself off.

“It's fine” I sigh a bit weirded out as I look at the mare’s somewhat nervous demeanor. “It would seem we've both made unfair assumptions about one another. “ I fold my arms and look at her.

“Everypony else saw some…. cute alien from another universe and I couldn't see it myself because of my wicked nature.” Nightmare looks frustrated.

“Yeah I guess that just makes you different from- wait a second. Did you just say I was cute?” I blink when I realize. Her cheeks turn crimson as her eyes widen.

“I said no such thing!” She denies sharply.

“But you did.” I smirk slightly, Quite enjoying her flustered look.

“I would never!” She tries to claim but her flat ears and red cheeks say otherwise.

“Wow. This is actually Cute as hell.” I admit and snicker.

The next moment I'm forcefully pinned against​ a tree so hard it knocks the breath out of me. She's giving me a fierce look even though her face is as red as a tomato.

“If you tell a soul what I've said, I will personally break every bone in your body, hang you on the tallest tree by your own genitalia, and watch as Timberwolves​ pick at you until you're at death's door. then I'll kill you, drag you back from Hell by your entrails and kill you again!!” She growls demonically with burning pupils making me go completely pale.

I think I peed a little.

'No not really- oh wait yep.’

“lips sealed.” I swallow my spit.

“Good.” She let's me go and smiles warmly like nothing happened.

“Uh huh...” I'm still horrified and shaking.

“ I still wonder how Discord was able to reach out to you despite being sealed in stone.” Nightmare begins to pace.

“That's a very good question.” I mumble as I start to calm down and slide down the tree.

“The mind is the most vulnerable While dreaming...he must have taken advantage of that.” Nightmare stops pacing and looks at me.

“By the way...How the hell was Luna in my dream anyway?” I finally ask.

“She is the Guardians of Dreams. It is her responsibility to make sure All Equestrians are free of... Nightmares.” She explains.

“How Ironic…” I quip making her eyes narrow slightly.

“You will need someone to watch over you. This cannot be allowed to happen again.” Nightmare steps over to me and looks down at me. I'm not sure if she's talking about my Suicide attempt or the fact that Discord was in my head.

“Luna?” I guess, raising my brow.

“She has a lot on her plate. She isn't the only one who can enter dreams. I shall take the responsibility myself.” She puts a hoof on her chest.

WHHHHY?

“You're Not exactly who I think of when it comes to my Guardian Angel…” I deadpan.

“Oh?” She smirks slightly.

“Yeah. I guess it turns out you aren't that bad afterall. Deep down you're a sweetheart.” I admit. Her reaction is Quite odd, she looks at me her expression going flat and her cheeks turning abit red. When I see her horn light up once more I notice a tiny spark shoot from it before her cyan Magical energy covers it. Hm... I've seen these ponies use Their magic plenty of times and that's never happened before. That's pretty weird.

When I see my gun levitate off the floor and float I flinch Quite hard. Oh. So I'm getting shot after all. Why do I have such a big mouth?

“Relax.” Nightmare frowns slightly when she sees my paranoia.

“Sorry you caught me off guard.” I say as the gun floats over to her and seemingly disappears. I don't really care what she's done with it as that weapon is now just a cruel reminder of what almost transpired here. Nightmare looks back over to me her horn sparking Again as her magic deactivates. I need to find out on my own time what those sparks mean.

“Try to enjoy the rest of your night. I must be going now.” Nightmare tells me surprising sincerely. I don't really know what to say when she turns around and starts to walk away.

“Hey Nightmare…” I mumble making her stop. She turns her head towards me and for some reason I can't quite bring myself to face her.

“I need you to keep what happened here a secret for me.” I request, slowly looking back up to make eye contact with her. What I see is quite different from the supposed evil I saw when we first met. That or maybe it just doesn't bother me anymore.

“Of course.” She nods and turns away. I watch her Silently as she walks off. Her blue armor and helmet glimmer in the moonlight as her ethereal Mane and tail sparkle Quite beautifly in contrast with her neat dark Fur.

And then I looked Down.

…

...

...

'That ass tho’

…

…

…

Starting to wish I actually pulled the trigger.

When my eyes linger A Bit too Long I feel something akin of a belt Lightly smack across my cheek making me jump. I look to see Nightmare's ethereal tail in the shape of a long wip extending a few feet away from her. It changes back to normal and shrinks down. I regrettably look over to her face and she looks quite annoyed with me, despite this her cheeks are crimson.

“Goodnight!” I smile nervously. I see her roll her eyes and turn into blue smoke, fading away into the darkness like before. I stand there for a few moments in silence before putting my hands in my pockets. I eventually decide to go back to the dreaded party simply because I'm sure if I continue to mope here any longer I'm going to do something I regret. Silently walking back into Town, I take note of how empty it seems to be at night. If I ever need time to think in silence I know where to go.

Eventually I make it back to the sugar cube corner and I see Lyra laying outside looking almost as miserable as I am. I sigh and walk over to her, she blinks a few times and looks up at me her face lighting up instantaneously.

“DJ you're back!” Lyra smiles happily as she gets back onto her hoofs and rubs Against my leg.

“Yep…” I say quietly just looking down at her Quite neutrally.

“I hope you're feeling better.” She looks hopeful.

“No. I want to kill myself.” I state flatly. Her mood immediately deflates and her ears flop Against her skull. I smirk slightly and pet the top of her head. “Relax Lyra I'm just kidding.” I assure, doing my best to smile.

“That's not something to joke about..” she Sniffles.

“Eh don't dwell on it. Humans have a weird sense of humor. Let's just go back inside already.” I run my finger by her ear before letting go and walking to the entrance. Lyra follows beside me looking to be in a better mood now. I push the doors open and enter the loud but pleasant music filling my ears and the smell of cider is now in the air. I notice that things are Abit more...wild than before. I guess the drinks are starting to get to everyone.

Wanting to avoid getting drunk again I simply get some cookies at the snack bar to munch on while I sit myself down near the DJ’s table. Lyra hops up onto the chair and sits next to me, once again leaning on my side. I shoot her a look and she looks back up at me with a Nervous smile. I think about scooting away but at this moment I really could care less so I just look away and continue to eat my cookies.

“The DJ is amazing…” I comment to break the silence between us.

“Right? Vinyl never disappoints.” Lyra smiles up at me.

“Wait Vinyl as in Vinyl Scratch?” I blink, remembering some Nonsense that Pinkie of all people asked me.

“Yeah! She's actually a good friend of mine. Want to meet her?” Lyra offers. I take a moment to think.

“Sure why not.” I eventually shrug. Both of us stand up from our seats and make our way over to the DJ table. There is a white furred blue maned Unicorn with shades on bumping her head to the music and swiping away at a turntable with a combination of her hoofs and her magic. Lyra jumps up onto her hind legs and holds herself up on the table with her ForeLegs.

“Hello neighbor.” Lyra smiles warmly. The DJ raises her shades and rests them on her forehead revealing her red eyes.

“Sup neighbor! How are you… doing…” Vinyl seems to trail off when she notices me towering over her. I just give her a simple wave because I'm still stuffing my face with cookies. I swear Pinkie has to lace these damn things with crack or something because they are borderline addictive!

'I see where this is going. May our toned abs rest in peace.’

Stuff it.

'You're doing that already’

These are my last ones…

‘You said that 4 times already.’

“This is my human friend DJ.” Lyra introduces me.

“Huh…Hi DJ..” Vinyl is still staring up at me her cheeks slightly red. I finish my last cookie and clear my throat.

“Sup.” I fold my arms and look at her.

“You Know I thought everypony was using the Humans are real thing as an Excuse to party, which I was down with regardless but now i see what all the fuss is about and...” Vinyl trails off.

“And?” I raise a brow.

“Uh... Nothing. nevermind it. Nice to meet you bro.” She slides her shades down and continues to Do DJ things her cheeks Still Abit red.

“Nice tunes. You have an interesting selection of songs.” I state listening to the odd fusion of orchestra and dubstep that was currently playing.

“Thanks bro! Something my roomie Octavia and I worked on together. Glad you like it!” Vinyl smiles.

“Keep it up. I'll stop bothering ya.” I say.

“You aren't bothering me...one bit.” She tells me as she looks up at me again her cheeks slightly colored Again. I Squint slightly as I start to recognize a pattern among a lot of the mares I've bumped into so far. They all seem to have a similar reaction upon meeting me and it probably goes back to the whole “cute” comment Nightmare made.

I guess my appearance is appealing to them? Somehow. I mean I was considered a looker on Earth, but you'd think that being in another dimension or whatever would change things. Regardless I'm quite ok with this as long as no one gets any funny Ideas.

My thoughts are scrambled when someone bumps into me Quite hard from behind. It makes me stumble slightly and I slowly turn to see...wait hold on what?

“Oops! My bad dude.” A half bird half lion female apologizes.

Holy shit they have Griffin's here?! That's actually kinda cool!

'See? It isn't all bad’

Naw shut the fuck up, don't push it.

“It's whatever.” I shrug and look down at her. She's standing on her hind legs and holding a drink in one of her hands. Lyra has that defensive girl glare again which seems completely ineffective on this Griffin chick.

“So you're that human guy huh? Pretty cool.” The girl smirks. When I open my mouth to make a smart comment Lyra speaks before me.

“ You mean DJ. He has a name...Gilda.” Lyra frowns.

“I know pint-size” Gilda seems to force a smile as she uses her tail to lightly whip Lyra’s muzzle while keeping her yellow eyes Trained on me. I raise a brow and look at Vinyl who just responds with a shrug.

“Yep. DJ the human guy. Let's go with that.” I fold my arms and look down at her. As we look into each other's eyes I notice her pupils shrinking slightly as her cheeks turn red.

“Yeah well uh sorry about that little bump and stuff. Gotta go fill up ya know?” She taps her nearly empty drink.

“Yeah.” I respond in a purposely bored tone as I deadpan. Gilda seems to swallow her spit and get increasingly nervous.

“Well it was nice meeting you DJ. Gotta run!” Gilda seems to zip off leaving a single white feather behind.

“Finally.” Lyra sighs in relief as she rubs her muzzle. “I thought she'd never leave!” She adds.

“Not a fan of Gilda huh?” I smile slightly.

“Considering she bumped into you on purpose just to speak with you? No.” Lyra deadpans.

“Wait how do you know that?” I blink.

“I saw her do it DJ. It was obvious.” Lyra seems mad at me now.

“Well excuse the fuck out of me.” I put a hand to my chest and pretend to look hurt.

“She's not the type to say sorry or be nice to anypony out of her friend circle for that matter. She doesn't realize I've caught onto her silly plan.” Lyra rubs her hoofs together and smiles maliciously.

“If you say so Lyra.” I look at her slightly Disturbed. I notice Vinyl snickering and raise a brow.

“What's funny?” I ask curiously.

“That was the worst attempt at sliding into someone's DM's I've ever witnessed.” Vinyl giggles. I stifle a laugh not expecting something like that out of her.

“That's what that shit was?!” I exhale sharply out of.nose.

“I would dip before she gets the courage to slide back bro.” Vinyl suggests.

“Yeah let's go Lyra. Later.” I wave to Vinyl and put my hands in my pockets. I walk through the crowd with Lyra at my side, she may as well be surgically attached to me at this point. I decide to finally approach Twilight and her “Squad” because I honestly have nothing better to do. They seem to be laughing about something unrelated to me until I approach and they all stop.

“Hello Again DJ, enjoying the party?” Twilight smiles warmly and looks up at me. Pinkie zips over and bounces around me in a circle.

“Yeah! Are you having fun fun fun?” Pinkie asks excitedly.

“I guess so. If you count gorging yourself as fun.” I shrug.

“It's Fun to yours truly!” Rainbow says as she's balancing a cookie on her muzzle. She flips it in the air and catches it in her mouth making Fluttershy and AppleJack giggle while Rarity just rolls her eyes.

“Have the Princesses made contact with you yet?” Twilight asks more seriously.

“Yeah.” I say dryly.

“Well? What did they say?” Twilight is curious and concerned.

“I...don't really want to talk about it right now. I've had a long day.” I sigh, getting into the miserable sinkhole of emotion Again. Twilight's ears droop as she comes over to me.

“Oh… I see you must be exhausted.” Twilight looks down at her hoofs.

“Both mentally and physically” I mumble.

“You're welcome to rest at my house if you like.” Twilight offers.

“Your house tree?” I raise a brow.

“Mmmhmm! I have a multitude of books you could read and I'm sure you'll get along with Spike just fine!” She smiles and looks excited.

The talking ponies have dogs huh… can't get more fucked up than that.

'Bet’

…

On second thought I have been saying that to literally everything I've seen so far and I've been proven wrong EVERY time.

“I guess if it's just the night…” I shrug.

“laaame who wants to stay in a library full of boring books when you can hang with me in my place?” Rainbow snickers.

“You mean the place he would fall straight through because it's literally made of clouds?” Twilight Deadpans.

“Right…” Rainbow deflates like a balloon.

“Not a fan of heights either…” I add making Rainbow Frown.

“I would definitely welcome you with open hoofs DJ but I'm going to be very busy preparing for my roommates return.” Lyra tells me.

“Oh Bon Bon is coming back?!” Pinkie jumps up and down with excitement.

“No worries Lyra. “ I smile and Lightly pet her head.

THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD! I'll be damned if I sleep in the same house as Lyra Again. I'd rather not find her asleep next to me.

'Or on top of you...key IN the lock.’

The fuck is that supposed to mean?!

“Yeah I'm excited. Maybe you could stay with us after I've run the idea by her. “ Lyra says.

“I'll think about it.” I deadpan.

“Well then it's settled! “ Twilight announces.

“Yeah. I'd like to settle into a bed if you don't mind...like asap.” I yawn.

“Right this way.” Twilight starts to walk out.

“Aww you're really leaving?” Pinkie's ears droop slightly as she sticks her lip out.

“It's getting A bit late partner. Ah might head home maself.” Applejack yawns.

“Same Actually.” Rainbow shares the infectious yawns.

“I better get going, angel needs feeding.” Fluttershy says quietly.

“Later.” I wave casually before following Twilight out. I get outside and not to long after Vinyl’s last song seems to end, the ponies begin to trickle out. Before Twi and I make the trip back to her place I hear someone gallop over behind me.

“Mr Young? A moment of your time.” I hear Rarity ask. I'm surprised that it was her instead of Lyra who seems to have disappeared again which I've noticed she does alot.

“What did you think of more insults? I've only got one set of clothes right now.” I snap still bitter about earlier.

“Actually no. I've come to apologise. Those statements of mine were uncalled for.” Rarity looks ashamed.

“Oh.” I blink in Surprise. “Eh don't worry about it… you're not wrong. My outfit is kind of fucked right now.” I admit as I look at the various holes and scratches In my shirt from my injuries.

“Oh my...such language!” Rarity gasps, looking horrified. I raise a brow and slowly turn to Twilight who just shoots me a nervous toothy grin.

“Ya done? “ I fold my arms across my chest.

“Oh I'm dreadfully sorry. I've come to make you an offer.” Rarity clears her throat.

“I'm listening.” I tap my foot impatiently.

“I felt awful knowing that you're doomed to prance around in those subpar garments so I'd like to make you a new wardrobe of clothing.” She offers.

“There you go roasting me again and- WAT?” I blink when I realize what she's offering. “A new wardrobe? Are you sure?” my eyes widen.

“Yes! You'll need to come by sometime so I can get the measurements but you've inspired me darling. “ Rarity smiles warmly.

“That's pretty nice of you Rarity but I don't have any bits or whatever they are. I'm still gonna have to pay Twilight back for letting me crash at her place.” I kneel down to her level.

“No you don't…” Twilight Frowns.

“Don't be silly darling I'll do it free of charge.” Rarity smiles warmly.

“...” I'm speechless. Wow that's pretty damn generous of them. Hell most of these ponies I've met so far have been generous. Pinkie threw me a damn party for God's sake! While I suspect that there is still a catch to all these acts of kindness I finally get to tick a pro on the large list of cons this place has so far.

'You forgot Those cookies’

And those.

'And Griffins. And those plumb ass’

Yeah that's kind of debatable and- wait what the hell was that last one?

“Well darling? What do you say?” Rarity nudges me. Breaking me from my thoughts.

“Yeah...I'd appreciate that.” I mumble.

“Excellent! Come by at your earliest convenience. I must get my beauty sleep now. Have a good night darling. “ Rarity yawns and walks off. I watch her Leave and turn back to Twilight.

“Come on DJ. “ She waves with her tail. I follow, instinctively putting my hands in my pockets and watching her tail wave back and forth it's actually quite mesmerizing and…

Oh my…

'So they DO have tits’

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I WAS WONDER NORE NEEDED TO KNOW!

'You're not gonna comment on that tight va-’

“DJ are you ok? Your staring is starting to creep me out.” Twilight asks carefully as we are already standing outside her house. My eye twitches furiously as I look at Twi.

“Yeah I'm good. I just need to bleach my brain at my earliest convenience.” I mutter. Twilight looks extremely creeped out she laughs nervously.

“Just gonna get this door unlocked.” Twilight scrambles for her keys. No I do not know where the fuck those keys came from. She unlocks the door and walks into her now dark home. She uses her horn to light the way Until some lanterns seem to light upon approach. Twilight leads me upstairs into a side room where I hear snoring.

“Uh Twi?” My eyes widen.

“Huh?” Twilight walks deeper into the room.

“An oversized lizard ate your dog.” I point to the big purple and green Lizard laying on a small bed.

“What?” Twilight reacts to my absurd comment with confusion.

“Nothing.” I look away.

“This is Spike my faithful Dragon Assistant. “ Twilight says as she comes over to a bigger bed that she quickly dresses with her magic.

“That's a Dragon??” I deadpan.

“He's just a baby…” Twilight sighs.

“Oh...that makes sense” I say quietly.

WHAT THE FUCK DRAGONS EXIST HERE? THIS IS AWESOME!

…

Actually that's terrifying. This goes on the con list. Fuck this place.

“You can rest here when you're ready. I'm going to catch up on my studies before bed so goodnight.” Twilight yawns and walks out.

“Wait a second do you have a shower?” I walk out after her.

“Yes right over here Actually.” She leads me to the bathroom and I gladly enter.

“Thanks Twi” I smile as she nods and walks away.

“You're welcome.” She says around the corner.

“Too bad I have no clothes to change into...” I mumble to myself as I look into the mirror and see a glowing set of eyes that startle me. I watch Nightmare creep out from the shadows behind me. I turn to look at her and see that she's got something in her mouth. My eyes refocus and I realize she has the bag I dropped in the everfree with the strap missing and all.

“Nightmare I… “ I start to say but her ethereal mane forms into a hand that she uses to shush me as she uses her magic to move my arm under her muzzle where she drops my bag. My otherwise sour mood finally goes positive again as I mouth the words “Thank you” to her. She simply nods with a stoic look and fades into blue mist once more that washes over me before fading into the shadows. I watch a single dark blue feather like the one I collected earlier float down and land on the counter. I guess that solves that mystery.

“What a Sweetheart.” I say aloud.

“Silence yourself before I change my mind and burn the bag along with your belongings!” Nightmare's voice echoes in the room making me jump.

Well. Mostly sweet.

“Did you say something DJ?” I hear Twilight call out.

“Nope. All good!” I turn the shower on and close the door. I manage to get the temperature right and I undress and step in, making sure to keep my.bandages from getting wet.

'Wanna know a fun fact?’

Sure?

'Nightmare is probably watching you shower right now!’

…

…

…

Should have pulled the trigger...

Author's Notes:

This chapter is the reason I had a dark tag initially. Not much to say really about this one besides that. Stay tuned for number 5 for more sunbutt shenanigans!