"Ok everything is checking out fine, I'll be back in a few minutes with the doctor, OK?" Nurse redheart says to me with a comforting warm smile.

"Alright." I say with a neutral look. She nods then walks out of the door. That's when I turn towards Lyra again and she's giving me that creepy and cute smile of hers. As for how a smile can be creepy and cute simultaneously? I have no idea.

She gets up from the guest chair and comes over to the patient bed where I'm sitting, which is hilariously undersized by the way. She climbs her way onto it and sits next to me. I fight the sudden urge to scoot away and take a deep breath. Why did Redheart leave me here with her? Lyra looks up at me curiously as I look down at her suspiciously. There is an odd silence between us until she smiles.

"What's it like?" She asks.

"What is what like?" I raise a brow.

"Hands. What is it like to have hands?" Lyra asks with genuine curiosity as she stares at my left hand. I look at it and shrug.

"I don't know Lyra. Something like that would be hard to explain." I say.

"How come?" She tilts her head.

"I've never had to explain something like that before because having hands is such a normal thing. It's like me asking what it's like to have hoofs." I try to explain. Lyra looks at her hoofs and nods.

"I guess I can see what you mean." She eventually nods.

"But I will say I'd take hands over hoofs any day. I don't know how you ponies get anything done using just your mouths." I shake my head.

"It's not that bad, especially if you're a unicorn." She claims.

"Oh really? Why is that?" I raise a brow Lyra opens her mouth to answer but she's interrupted when someone knocks on the door. Redheart comes back in with a grey and white pony who is wearing a cute little doctor coat.

"There's no way redheart I don't believe-" the doctor starts to say, until she walks in and actually saw me. She had a reaction similar to Redheart when she first saw me, sitting there with her jaw practically on the floor with slightly red cheeks.

"See I told you!" Redheart says with a smug look.

"Well hello there...Mr Young." The doctor clears her throat, slowly regaining her composure.

"Hey Doc." I greet casually.

"Please call me Doctor Kat." The Doctor says, clearing her throat and blushing.

"Doctor Kat? Hm, I like it. Its cute." I say with a slight smirk. The doctors cheeks turn a darker shade of red as she comes over to me.

"Alright, let's check on those bandages shall we?" She says. I realize I'm much too tall for her to reach me, so I was about to get off the bed and kneel, but I stop when I feel something lightly tug on my bandages. My eyes widen in horror when I see Doctor Kat's horn glowing a grey silver color as, my bandages were slowly removed, surrounded in the same greyish light.

"How are you doing that?" I whisper in horror.

"Doing what?" Doctor kat asks with a flat brow.

"Removing my bandages..." I say, a cold shiver goes down my spine.

"It's just a simple telekinesis spell." The doctor mumbles. My goldfish like expression gets the girls to exchange odd glances.

"Telekinesis means..." Lyra starts to explain.

"I'm well aware of what it means! An alleged psychic ability allowing a person to influence a physical system without physical interaction. But..." I quickly, trail off.

"But what?" Doctor Kat asks, looking at me with new found interest.

"That's supposed to be impossible!" I grumble. They all look at me blankly for a few moments before making various sounds of amusement. Nurse Redheart giggles and walks out of the room while Doctor Kat shakes her head.

"Your friend is really funny." She says to Lyra who just giggles in response.

"Teleportation... Telekinesis..." I mumble to myself as I sit there in deep thought, not even noticing the doctor cleaning my wound. This place...its very existence is impossible! I mean I saw liquid fucking Rainbows! As I contemplate this strange reality a knock came at the door. I briefly Glance and spot RedHeart again. looking back down at my hands, I return to my thoughts.

"Mr young has guests." Redheart announces, As two figures walk in behind her.

"Teleportation is the theoretical transfer of matter or energy from one point to another without actually traversing the physical space between them! Keyword theoretical, as in, not fucking real!" I start to describe aloud.

"DJ." Lyra pokes my side, but I ignore her.

"A Rainbow is a refraction of sunlight on water droplets...how the hell does light become a liquid?" I say to myself as my palms start to feel sweaty.

"DJ..." Lyra repeats with an annoyed look.

"And a cloud is just a visible mass of condensed water vapor. You can't push that shit around! With your hands….I mean HOOFS." I say with a twitchy brow.

"DERRICK!" Lyra shouts, giving my side an unpleasant poke with her horn.

"WHAT?" I slightly Yelp before shooting Lyra an annoyed look. That's when I hear someone across the room clear their throat. I look over and see that Zecora is back, and she brought someone new with her.

"I'm afraid I disagree with your points, but that's not important right now." The mare says calmly. She's a purple unicorn... Wait more like lavender...Violet? Whatever. She's a purple unicorn with a neat, lavender mane and tail with a lighter purple streak through it, and cute violet eyes that were staring at me with an intense mix of curiosity and intrigue.

"You must be Twilight sparkle?" I guess, raising my brow not sure what to think.

"Yes I am. You must be Derrick the human right?" She tilts her head slightly.

"Yup." I nod.

"Hmm..." She says, looking at me like she's trying to figure something out. "Definitely different from the humans in my books.." She comments after studying me.

"I know right?!" Lyra exclaims with a giggle.

"I have so many questions!" Twilight says, shaking with excitement and getting this really wide smile that made me feel like a lab rat.

"Me too!" Lyra says, unfortunately sharing Twilight's sudden enthusiasm.

"Maybe after- OW!" I suddenly blurt as a sharp pain shoots through my arm.

"Please refrain from moving Mr.Young. I kinda have a 2 inch needle in your foreleg." The doc says, raising her brow as I realize that she's been giving me stitches this entire time. She expertly weaves, using her strange telekinetic powers.

"Sorry doc." I apologise before turning to Twilight.

"I actually have a few questions for you." I tell her.

"Oh! An information exchange!" Twilight says, her eyes almost popping. "Let me get my notes ready!" She says before proceeding to make a notepad and quill pop out of thin air.

Ok...that just...happened...

'brain trauma sucks don't it?'

One thing at a time DJ, the talking ponies can make something out of nothing. I stare at Twilight for a few moments as she sits down and makes herself comfortable.

"What was your question DJ?" She asks with a curious gaze.

"I'm not quite sure how I should start this...they're not necessarily questions and i'm honestly having trouble believing what I'm seeing right now anyway." I say, looking around at all the colorful ponies.

"You're telling me..." Twilight says with a smirk. I shake my head and start to stare down at the floor.

"Alright for starters... I've already come to the conclusion that I am no longer on my world." I say.

"How do you figure that?" Twilight asks.

"Well everything is different... Different Flora, Different stars, hell there's even that weird blue planet in the sky..." I start to list.

"Are you talking about planet Neimoidia?" Twilight says. Raising her brow.

"Is that what it's called?" I furrow my brow.

"Yes. It's the only object in the sky that oddly cannot be influenced by Luna." Twilight says. I stare at her with a confused look. Something is...oddly familiar about that name... Eh whatever.

"Well whatever it is, it sure as hell wasn't in the sky back home." I say. Twilight nods and starts to write something down. "Of course there's you guys..." I mumble. That gets everyone in the room to look at me.

"What about us?" Lyra asks, reminding me that she was still firmly tucked next to me.

"There's no such thing as talking ponies-" I say, pausing when I look at Zecora."-or talking zebras where I come from." I explain. The girls seem to look surprised as I continued.

"Magic isn't even a thing...but physics don't seem to exist here." I say bitterly. At that moment I felt a strange unpleasant tingle go through my spine, my expression falls flat as I briefly look around in confusion.

What the hell? I just got this bad feeling out of nowhere.

"Are you OK?" Lyra asks. I answer with a simple nod as Twilight looks up from her notes.

"Of course physics exist here DJ, it's silly to think otherwise." Twilight says with a giggle. Before I could retort I feel the bandage around my forehead tighten, only to realize that it's been changed entirely.

"Alright you're all set Mr. Young. Drink plenty of fluids and avoid strenuous physical activity mkay?" The doctor says, stepping back with a content smile. While Twilight and I were talking She went ahead and did stitches, cleaned my wounds and slapped fresh bandages on me.

"I've gotcha. Thanks doc." I say with a smile. That smile quickly fades when I remember something. "Shit, how am I going to pay for this?" I say, bringing my hands to my face. "What currency do you ponies even use?" I ask.

"Bits." Twilight answers immediately.

"Bits? What the heck are those?" I ask. Twilight's horn briefly glows producing a small sack of what looked like coins.

"Here." She says, tossing it to me. I catch it and end up almost dropping it, because it was waaaay heavier than I anticipated. I untie the string and reach in, pulling out a thick golden coin.

"Is...is this fucking gold??" I sputter in horror.

"Mmhmm! 100% gold" Twilight smiles. A feeling of dread washes over me as I begin to think about how much debt I'm about to be in.

"You look like you've seen a ghost, what's wrong?" The doc asks.

"I did see a ghost....the ghost of my wallet." I mumble as I place the bit back in the sac, tie it and hand it back to Twilight.

"You don't have to pay anything for my services Mr. Young." The doctor says with a giggle.

"That would be rude of me." I shake my head.

"Not really, medical care is free anyway." Lyra states casually.

"Wait really?" My eyes widen.

"Yes why wouldn't it be?" Twilight says, furrowing her brow.

"Wow..." I say, rubbing my forehead and letting a breath out. These ponies are rich as hell! I should work for a bit and collect some gold!

'It might actually come to that...'

Hell no. I'm leaving this place As soon as freaking possible. Speaking of leaving, need to ask her about that.

"I don't mean to be pushy but we kinda need this room for our next Patient." The Doc says with a nervous smile as she looks from me to the door.

"Oh of course." I say, practically shooting off the bed. In my absence Lyra finds herself falling sideways onto the bed with a loud flop.

"Hey!" She exclaims in annoyance making me snicker. Everyone stands up and leaves the room.

"Bye Doc, nurse." I say with a simple wave as I quickly exit the room.

"Goodbye mister Young, I hope to meet you again, on better terms perhaps." The Doc says with a kind smile. I nod and make my way out of the hospital at a quick pace. There honestly isn't any reason to rush but something doesn't feel right. The hair on my neck is standing up and I can't help but feel like I'm in danger.

Unfortunately In my rush out of the door I don't even notice when I practically run-over a cyan Pegasus. I cringe when I look down and see her fearsome scowl. Honestly I thought I've seen it all when it comes to these ponies colors but this chick literally has fucking rainbow hair. This chick looks like a paint factory blew up in her face.

'Hey! Watch where you're stepping you...Um.” she trails off as her jaw drops.

“My bad.” I state, simply stepping over her. Twilight was following close behind me but she stops when she's sees the Pegasus.

“Rainbow what are you doing here?” Twilight blinks.

“I'm just here for a checkup but what the hay are you doing here? And with that...thing?” The Pegasus points a hoof at me.

“No time to explain, I'll see you later.” Twi blurts as she gallops to catch up to me. I roll my eyes and continue past the front desk and out. The door to the clinic closes behind me and I look around at the town with uncertainty.

"You were certainly in a hurry, I stop to talk to Rainbow for a moment and you were gone!" Twilight pants. Galloping out of the clinic followed by a hysterical Lyra and a calm Zecora.

"Yeah...I just..." I trail off as another shiver runs down my spine. What does this crap mean? did I suddenly develop the spidey sense?

"I was thinking we could continue our discussion at my house, it's just a few blocks that way." Twilight points with her hoof as she comes next to me. "Are you Alright?" She raises a brow when I don't respond.

"Do you...feel that?" I ask after a long pause.

"Feel what?" Lyra asks

"Something in the air...I can't describe it." I say as I squint and look around.

"Hm...I do feel a strong magic approaching." Lyra says, bringing a hoof to her chin.

"Ohhh. I know what you're referring to now. That's probably Princess Celestia, she did say she was coming." Twilight says. My eyes widen as I turn to the purple unicorn. "Judging by how quickly she responded she must really want to meet you!" Twilight says warmly.

Celestia eh? Zecora mentioned that name. I can only imagine how silly one of these ponies would look with a crown and a dress.

'But what if she's a warrior princess?’

…

Naw.

I doubt it. Even if that was true these ponies don't look threatening whatsoever, I'd only have to worry about getting jumped by a pack of them...I mean herd.

'Dont jinx yourself’

"She's coming here?"' I fold my arms.

"Yes. Judging by the aura I feel she's quite close!" Twilight says.

"Tell me about this Chick." I ask, As I notice something something alarming on the horizon. From what I could tell at this distance it was a formation, Definitely not birds.

"Well she is co- ruler of Equestria along with princess Luna." Twilight starts to explain. That formation I was carefully watching was about to pass over us. It was a golden Chariot that was being pulled by two armored pegasi. It flies overhead and a large pony jumps over the side, followed by two others. The first one was a large white Pegasus.... Wait...she has a horn too so that makes her a.....WHAT?

'Hm. I don't see a dress’

I don't see a sword either!

"What's she like?" I ask sheepishly as I watch the pony flare her wings and land on the ground, kicking up a fair amount of dirt.

"Oh she's one of the kindest ponies I know..." Twilight says, completely oblivious to what was happening. The pony stands up tall as another tall blue one lands right next to her. This one didn't bother with the wings because it hit the ground so hard I almost felt the ground shake, the worst part is it didn't seem to be fazed by a several hundred feet fall.

'Non threatening right?’

Quiet.

"What does she look like?" I ask sheepishly As I start to sweat. The last one looks like it was shorter than Twilight, she flaps her wings gracefully and has the softest landing out of all of them. They share glances and shake themselves off as 2 armored ponies come to either side of them.

"Well she has a white coat and-" Twilight Starts.

"- magical flowing hair?" I finish for her as I make eye contact with the white one. Her neutral expression quickly faded into something more obscure as she focuses all her attention on me. Those magenta eyes of her were truly beautiful, but at the same time I feel like my blood is freezing.

'Warrior. Fucking. Princess’

There's 3 of them!

'I guess you're getting jumped too then. Get rekt.’

YOU MEAN WE.

"Um...the term is mane. But yes, how did you know?" Twilight says with a puzzled look. She finally follows my gaze and hops with excitement. "Hi princess Celestia!" Twilight says, waving at the group which was only a block away. At that moment 4 more guards materialize at the Princess's side as 2 pegasi guards swoop down and land next to them.

I kinda regret jinxing myself now.

‘Oh NOW you regret it!?’

"Uh oh." I mumble taking a nervous step back. This causes the whole damn group to focus and narrow their eyes on me. They all take a single, synchronized stride towards me making me take one backwards in fear.

"Bye Twi!" I say before turning around and bolting away.

"The creature is trying to flee! Capture it!” I hear someone yell. I don't stick around to found out because my legs are already moving.

“ DJ?” Twilight mumbles with a confused look as I take off past her, stumbling slightly as I regain my footing. Behind me I can hear a chorus of footsteps, or in this case hoofsteps, along with the cliter clater of heavy armour. I bolt down the street and take a sharp Right before taking off down that street.

Don't look DJ… Because the second you look...you realize that what's chasing you is right on top of you and-

...

Why am I flying?

I turn to see that an armored orange and blue Pegasus has my collar firmly in his jaws.

“Sorry little guy” I say before raising my left arm and firmly elbowing him in the face. He grunts and covers his eye with both of his hoofs.

“Oooow! What the hay!” He barks, letting me go. Thankfully we didn't get that high up so after a short fall and a somersault I was back on the move. Sorry orange guy but I don't plan on getting captured today!

‘There's more up ahead jackass’

As I run down the street I notice two guards galloping up to block my path. My shoes skid on the ground as I quickly change directions only to realize that there's two more behind me. I stop to catch my breath as the four guards close in.

“So...can I take 5?” I ask sarcastically.

“There's nowhere left to run…Human...” I hear one of the female guards say.

“So that's a no…” I mumble as I think of my next move. These ponies don't look that tough but I'm not particularly keen on animal abuse. I still feel like a jackass for elbowing that orange guy in the face earlier.

“Get him!” The girl barks as the four guards charge before I could even come up with a plan. I take a quick breath and easily sidestep one of them. Two of them tackle my left leg making me stumble and produce an annoyed grunt. Before I could pry them off me, the last one attempts to tackle my chest and ends up right in my arms instead. The armored mare looks up at me with a flustered look while I look down with a slight scowl.

“You got me.” My eyes narrow making her look pale. I start swinging my leg around until the other two ponies come loose and get tossed aside. I simply drop the girl right on her ass.

“Hey!” She shouts after me as she rubs her tush and grumbles.

“Fuck this shit I'm out!” I announce calmly before sprinting off.

This part of the town seems to be an endless maze of narrow streets and alleyways. I stop next to a large house, leaning on the wall to catch my breath and think about my situation. Things like what happens if I get caught? Wait… Now that I think about it it's only a matter of time! Even if I do get away, what am I planning to do? Last time I checked I wasn't a wizard so I'm not going home without the help of these talking fuzzballs. Running will only make it worse...in fact… I should go back and-

“Who are we hiding from?” I hear an excited voice next to me say. I quickly turn To see that pink pony from earlier mimicking me by leaning against the wall looking Comical. I yelp and take off Down the street only to run into something that knocked me right on my ass. When I look up I almost shat myself. It was that tall white pony from earlier...Celestia. She slowly turns around and looks down at me with a look that I can't read.

Don't look her in the…..ass? There's a sun tattooed to her ass. Why the hell does she have a sun tattooed on her ass?

'Why are you staring at her ass?’

Because I'm an ass?

'no she has an ass'

She is an ass

'she's a pony not an ass’

An ass who has an ass?

'an ass with matching tattoos on her ass?

I think we should really focus... Say something you idiot!

'ass’

No! Something important! Something that will make a good impression! Hurry!

“Pancakes”

…

For fucks sake.

Celestia’s blank stare shifts into a bemused expression as she slightly tilts her head.

Is this my brain's way of telling me I'm hungry? Real fucking smooth. I stand there, a bead of sweat dripping from my face as that guy I elbowed earlier comes barreling down the street out of nowhere.

“I'll get him your highness!” He yells as he harmlessly tackles my leg. I slowly turn my head and look down at him. He comically tries to wrestle me down but it ends up looking like he's hugging the shit out of a tree. It starts to get ridiculous when he stops to catch his breath.

“So...are you finished?” I ask with a deadpan expression.

“Yeah...I think I'm - YAAAAA!” He yells as he tries to get me again. I simply stick my leg out and hold him back as he wildly swings at me.

“...this is sad…” I mutter. Next thing I know there is a sharp pain in my leg. “DID YOU JUST BITE ME!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” I shout loudly, clutching my shin.

“You elbowed me in the face!” He says like this makes us even.

“You bit my leg!” I shout.

“You elbowed me in the face!” He repeats.

“You bit my fucking leg!” I yell. All this time the Princess just watches with an amused expression.

“You fucking jackass!” I snap.

“Hey! That's racist!” He frowns. His statement causes an awkward silence between us all. I just stare back at them before bolting away, surprisingly they don't peruse right away. Celestia seemed to be in a fit of laughter while the guard was simply too worn out to actually chase me. Once again I feel like I disappear down another Street only to be found by more guards.

This game of cat and mouse went on for another 30 minutes before I finally found a large bush to hide in and take a breather. I peek out of it to see this weird tree house in front of me...wait...it’s more like a house tree...what even...what's wrong with this place?

I sigh and rub my forehead and think of what to do, and I honestly don't have many options. I could risk going back into those woods and seeing if that portal that brought me here is open. Although considering my wounds i might end up dead the second time. I could also just wait until I wake up from this crazy nightmare that I'm having and so far that hasn't happened. Although I hate to admit it the longer I'm here the more it seems like this isn't all just my fucked up imagination.

I'm suddenly ripped from my thoughts when something firmly grabs my leg and pulls me right out of the bush making me tumble onto my back.

“We have found thou Human!” I hear a young cute voice announce. I quickly get onto my feet and look around only to see no ponies in sight. Something finally tells me to look down and I see the short blue Princess who looks up at me with a frown. She was a short dark blue Unicorn/Pegasus wearing blue slippers and a cute black crown. And when I say short, I mean it because she barely even comes up to my knees and her serious look is just so-

“Daaaaw! look at you!” I say overwhelmed by her cuteness as I squat down to her level. Her ears droop in an adorable way and I see her blush as I start to lightly pet her head. “Awww what's your name?” I ask somewhat hypnotized by adorabliciousness.

'is that even a word?’

“We art the Princess of the night Wuna” she mumbles. I wasn't sure if she said Wuna or Luna so I just went with it.

“Wuna you are just the most adorable furball I've ever seen.” I say as I snatch her up and hold her like a baby.

'The hell are you doing?’

I DON'T FUCKING KNOOOW!

“P...put us down foul beast!” She squeaks nervously. I just chuckle and lightly tickle her belly. At first she looks extremely angry and frustrated but she quickly starts to giggle as I tickle her belly. I'm not exactly sure how long I was doing this but I know I stopped cold when I felt breathing on my neck.

'Your Spidey sense is...oh nevermind ‘

A little late there pal...

I slowly turn around and practically shit myself. The tall blue pony from earlier was staring me right in the face her sharp teeth bared, her big bright cat-like irises glaring into my soul.

“She told you to put her DOWN.” She says in a sharp venomous tone that nearly cut me in half. I simply stare back in horror unable to even move anymore. Then I see her eyes narrow to the point where they're mere slits and the next thing I know I'm literally spinning through the air at the treehouse with an intense pain in my right cheek. My back hits it hard and my vision gets really blurry. The last thing I see is a bunch of ponies slowly surrounding me before I lose touch with the world.

-Some time Later-

I wake up with a splitting headache and a dull pain in my back. My vision is quite blurry but I was slumped over a white table. I suddenly shoot upward and look around. I seem to be in one of those interrogation rooms you see on TV... except I don't see the huge one sided window. Where the hell am I? Is an asshole in a suit about to come in here telling me to take some damn red and blue pills?

Maybe during that crazy pony dream I did something highly illegal and ended up here? Either way at least I'm back in the Real world. I look and notice a large piece of cake on a plate with a fork sticking out of it. It's a double decker fudge cake...one of my favorites.

Hm…should i...

Nah it's probably drugged or this is some sort of stupid test. Test how guilty I am or something.

It was that moment that my stomach sang a song and I remembered that I probably haven't eaten in days. I suddenly find myself not giving a crap about the possible repercussions, quickly snatching the plate over to me and using the fork to get a big chunk out of it. The Fudge chocolate melts in my mouth and i slowly sink into the seat with a sigh of satisfaction. This is probably one of the best cakes i've ever had! Although it could use a tad more icing…

I dig the fork in to take another bite but suddenly i hear the doorknob twist and I freeze in place. The door opens and and I see Celestia duck into the room. My somewhat happy expression deflates into a blank stare.

“Uuugh...you again.” I grumble settings the fork down back onto the plate. Most of my annoyance comes from the fact that I'm STILL in this madhouse called equestria. Celestia says nothing as she looks at me with a neutral expression. She sits elegantly on her haunches with her wings firmly tucked to her sides. I see that she insists on staying silent so I roll my eyes and pick the fork up to take another bite.

“This cake is pretty good..” I mumble.

“I see you didn't hesitate on indulging yourself…” Celestia finally says after i've taken a few bites.

“I haven't eaten in days..besides this cake is amazing. Kinda reminds me of my fudge cake recipe.” I say calmly. My statement has an odd effect on Celestia as her wings twitch and her eyes widen.

“Your recipe?” she says, leaning forward.

“Yeah. mine ends up tasting about the same as this. I bake in my free time. There's a fun fact for you.” I tell her as I take another bite. I see a creepy smile curl onto her muzzle.

“Really?~” she says with a half lidded expression that catches me off guard. I scoot away in my chair and smile nervously. I hear the door again and this time the adorable little Wuna walks in.

“Aw its pwincess wu-” I start to say but i'm interrupted when I hear the door slam open, shaking the whole room. That's when the tall blue pony stomps her way in with that intense glare of hers. My smile and good spirits disappear, Replaced by fear and an overwhelming desire to get as far from her as possible.

“Enough games human! We demand answers.” She announces. She notices my cake and immediately Snatches it from me with her cyan magic.

“...” I stare at her.

You know what? I might just cry.

“Feeding the prisoners?” She glares at Celestia who just smiles nervously. Wuna shakes her head and sighs.

“Nay Twas us that placed it there, we meant to test the human’s guilt.” She explains. Guilt? What the hell do they think this is? I hold my hands up and clear my throat.

“Ok i see where this is going... “ I start, making the 3 of them look directly at me. “ let's see here you're the good cop” I say gesturing to Celestia who's brow flattens “You're the bad cop.” I point to Wuna who frowns. “And you're….well...evil horse witch.” I say pointing to the evil horse witch. She stares at me for a few moments, her eye twitching slightly. I can see her wings slowly rising at her side as her breaths become rapid.

“Ok before you disassemble my soul to be fair I haven't been properly introduced to any of you.” I state as i mentally prepare myself for what would likely be a large unicorn horn embedded in my chest. Celestia clears her throat and puts a hoof to her chest.

“I am princess Celestia.” She starts.

“Well Twilight just told be ALL about you.” I say with a chuckle. Her brow flattens for a moment and she continues.

“This is my little sister Luna.” She says pointing at Wuna.

'see it WAS Luna numbnuts!’

Shut up! And I'm still totally calling her that!

“And she's as adorable as ever.” I say as I can't help but reach across the small table to pet her...only for a certain tall Dark individual to glare at me with the intensity of every star to exist in every dimension.

“And this is…” Celestia pauses long enough for the angry mare to answer herself.

“Your worst nightmare…” she tells me with venom, a faint and creepy shine in her cat pupils that instantly makes my spine frozen.

“... Nightmare Moon...my sister's other half.” Celestia finishes calmly.

“Aptly named.” I say sheepishly. I swallow my spit and let out a breath. “I guess it's my turn then.” I say. The three of them then focus their attention on me.

“My name is Derrick Young or Just DJ.” I tell them. They all look among themselves with uncertainty. Nightmare clears her throat and continues that glare of hers.

“Now then if you're all finished, I would like to continue with the interrogation.” Nightmare says.

“Oh yeah I meant to ask, why exactly am I being inter-WOAH!” I try to ask before jumping at the sight of my gun being slammed onto the table Quite hard.

“Tell us...what is the purpose of this device?” She asks sharply narrowing her eyes. I stare down at my gun, my eyes wide and sweat dripping down my cheek, probably looking guilty as hell.

“Oh um...that's not mine…” I start off horribly making her deadpan.

“So it was just a... coincidence that it was in your pocket?” She says with disbelief.

“Maybe?” I smile nervously.

“Uh huh. So if it doesn't belong to you that means you stole it then?” She leans forward slightly

“Yeah ok it's mine…” I admit.

“Surprise surprise. What is its function?” she asks again.

“Oh it's a um a...just a safety device.” I say, not wanting to tell her what it truly is.

“Really now?” She says with a fake surprise as she holds it in her hoofs. I start to visibly cringe as I see her cock the weapon. “Just a simple...safety device?” She repeats a slight smirk on her face.

“Uh...yep! Totally harmless!” I say failing hard at keeping a straight face.

“So. If it is TRULY just a safety device like you so honestly claim... you wouldn't mind at all if i were to...” she trails off and slowly points the gun straight at me.

...

'well damn’

I jumped so hard that I ended up falling right out of my chair.

“OK YOU WIN!” I shout as I stare down the barrel of the weapon.

“Admit it.” She says simply.

“It's a weapon alright! Stop pointing the damn thing at me!” I frown. Nightmare has a satisfied look as she sets it gently onto the table. I raise a finger as I stare at it.

“Um you have to disarm-”

I watch her quickly remove the magazine, cock the weapon to expel the round from the chamber, then quickly set the round back into the magazine in one swift motion. I stare at her, my wide eyes slowly narrowing until I'm glaring back at the now smug looking Nightmare moon.

“You knew what it was didn't you…” I deadpan.

“Yep. I just wanted to see you squirm in fear like the cowardly creature you are.” She says with a smirk. Celestia lets out a long sigh while I can see luna attempting to cover up her snickering.

‘looks like you were wrong, she's the fun cop'

Fuck off…

“Can I leave now?” I ask folding my arms and sinking into my seat.

“No.” Nightmare says with a frown.

“Ok look.” I take a calming breath and lay my hands on the table. “Frankly i'm sure this is all just some screwed up dream but I'm obviously not from here. That's established. I was walking in the woods on my world and went down a path I probably should have ignored, got chased by some Mismatched freak that was cackling like an asshole. I run into some Invisible...something. I don't know what the hell it was, but going through it hurt like hell. I wake up in that twisted forest where wolves are made of wood and fucking trees of all things tried to eat me. I would have bleed to death if Zecora hadn't found me-”

“-Then she took care of you for two days and told you about Ponyville where you could get medical attention. You did just that and ran into us on the way out.” Celestia Finishes for me, taking the words right out of my mouth.

“How the hell did you…” I trail off as I turn to her. She's looking back at me with a very focused gaze. The moment our eyes meet I get a skull splitting headache. The whole room fades into blackness and all that is left is her staring me down. A cold shiver goes down my spine as i find that I cant move anymore. All I can do is look back at her, sweat dripping down my brow. An eternity later Celestia's brow raises and she begins to look confused.

“Well sister? What hath thou learned?” Luna asks Celestia. When she turns away from me to look at her sister The room goes back to normal and I can move again. I sit there in a cold sweat as I finally take a breath.

What...the fuck...just...happened? Did she just read my mind? Brain! Status report!

‘Pancakes are kewl..’

…

I've just been mindfucked by Something large and unpleasant.

‘It was Pink’

s...sarcasm?

“He is telling the truth.” Celestia says with a serious look. Luna simply blinks while Nightmare looks all surprised like there wasn't a possibility that I wasn't lying. “I’m afraid i also know the identity of his chaser…” She adds.

“Uh hold that thought…” my voice cracks as I Weakly hold up a finger. They all turn to me again.

“Are you alright?” Celestia asks.

“I feel like my head was fucked by a 10 foot vibrating spiked mind dick….with no lube. So you tell me if im fine..” I can't help but say bluntly. Nightmare deadpans, Luna Has a look of horror and Celestia looks blue in the face.

“That was….” Celestia starts to say.

“Colorful? Like my vocabulary will be if someone doesn't explain this shit right now.” I say. They all exchange worried glances and I simply Fold my arms and wait. Eventually they all look to me and I find myself impatiently tapping my foot.

“This interrogation is over.” Celestia announces. Next thing I know the whole room seems to fade away and I'm inside what looks like a library. There are several ponies around that I don't know along with some I recognize like Twilight and Lyra.

“What the Hell?!” I look around in confusion.

“We shall return in a few hours. My sisters and I must have a discussion.” Celestia says and the 3 of them leave with Their guards before I can even comprehend anything.

They just fucking left? Without telling me what the hell is going on? For fucks sake!

“Yay! You're not getting arrested!* Lyra comes over and rubs against my leg.

“What...How...Why...SOO MANY QUESTIONS!!” I throw my arms up in fustration. I really need to just sit down for a minute...A good long minute.

So I do just that.

...

And unfortunately end up dozing off because I failed to realize how tired I actually was.

I didn't dream so it was basically one of those times when it seems like you blinked But really you slept for 2 hours. I shoot up off the couch and see that the sun was now setting and the sky was full of clouds.

“HI DJ.”

“Hi Lyra”

“...” I stare.

“...” she stares.

“Did you sleep well?” she asks timidly.

“Nope.” I answer directly.

“...” she stares.

“...” I stare.

“...” her ears droop.

“...” I squint.

“Why are you in my lap?” I finally ask.

“Um...” she blushes.

“Get off.” I narrow my eyes.

“OK.” She scoots off me obediently.

“How long was I out?” I ask rubbing my head.

“5 days.” She answers calmly.

“WHAT!?” I bark making her flinch.

“I was kidding! It's only been an hour, 57 minutes and 49 seconds.” She answers oddly specifically.

‘ someone was watching you sleep.’

Don't even start.

“Great. Where am I?” I ask looking around.

“You're in the Golden oak library where Twilight lives.” she answers.

“She lives in a library?” I deadpan. Now that I think about it she did come off as a bookworm so it makes some sense.

“Yes?” Lyra looks at me like it's the most normal thing.

“This place…” I shake my head and sigh as I stand up and stretch. As I'm still waking myself up Twilight walks in from another room.

“Oh you're awake!” Twilight lights up.

“Unfortunately.” I rub my head. Twilight sighs and that's when I see more ponies pile out of that room she was in.

“Heeeeey that's the guy that ran me over” I hear as that Rainbow mare from the hospital walks out.

“No. That was some other Human.” I quip instinctively making her frown. I find solace in how easy it is to upset these ponies. The look on this chicks face is priceless.

“Very funny my guy.” she grumbles.

“Sorry about earlier, I was kinda in a hurry.” I say with a friendly smile. “No hard feelings?” I hold my hand out in a kind gesture. She hesitates but she holds her hoof out.

“I guess so. The names rainbow Dash by the way.” She says a bit more friendly.

Of fucking course.

“Cool. I'm DJ.” I reply simply, shaking her hoof firmly.

“I'm surprised you haven't heard about how awesome I am by now. She gets this odd smirk.

“Nope.” I blink.

“I'm the fastest flyer in Equestria!” She boasts sticking her chest out proudly.

“Ok….and?” I raise a brow and let her hoof go. She gives me a confused look like I'm supposed to be impressed by that statement. None of you fuckers should be flying as far as I'm concerned physics wise.

“...” She deadpans.

“Honestly it makes no sense for any of you to fly in the first place but that's good for you... I guess?” I say carefully.

“You should see the look on yur face Rainbow for once somepony doesn't give a hoot.” I hear a thick southern accent behind me. I turn to see an orange pony with a Stenson had on her head.

aaaand there's another one… great.

“Shut it Applejack. He hasn't seen me in action yet.” Rainbow almost pouts. The one I assume is Applejack shakes her head and turns to me.

“Howdy there uh….DJ” she sticks her hoof out. When I grab her hoof and she shakes my hand any drowsiness in my system was cruelly ripped out as she shakes my hand so fast that our Limbs were a blur.

“Mah name is Applejack, pleasure to meet ya!” She says happily.

“SLOWER.” Is all I manage to say before she finally lets me go and I grunt in pain.

“Sorry about that sugarcube. Sometimes I don't know mah own strength?” She giggles nervously.

“I can see that…” I smile sheepishly as my arm muscles feel like I Tried to bench press an elephant. Rainbow snickers and I shoot her a look as AJ just silently studies me. Twilight comes back over to us.

“So are you ready for your party?” Rainbow asks.

“Party? what party?” I raise a brow.

“Pinky party. She throws one for everyone new in town.” Rainbow explains. That's when I remember that crazy pink mare from earlier.

“Wait she was serious??” my brow raises higher.

“Of course she was.” Applejack snickers like I should have known. They really throw a party for new people? ALL of them? Talk about friendliness!

“Thats nice but I really don't have time.” I shake my head.

“Aw really?” Rainbows ears droop slightly.

“I'm waiting for the Princesses to come back. They've got some explaining to do. “ I fold my arms and frown.

“Then you have time.” Rainbow deadpans.

“She's right you know. The Princesses won't be back anytime soon.” Twilight cuts in.

“And? I can wait” I sit back down and kick back.

“Maybe. But it's not like you have a choice sugarcube.” Applejack claims.

“Are you going to fucking drag me there?” I squint.

“No but... Pinkie will probably pester you about it for the entirety of your stay until you attend one.” Twilight says casually.

“I don't plan to stay.” I state firmly.

“Come on! It's free food! Pinkie bakes the best sweets!” Rainbow nudges me.

“It's going to take more than that to get me to-” I start but right at that moment my stomach grumbles so loudly that they all look at me in horror.

“-uh...It's going to take more than food to get me to go.” I claim.

'We’re going to that fucking party.’

But... The Princess…

'Do you really want that chick to bother you MORE? She'll be on you like black on shadows’

I think you misunderstood them. They're clearly exaggerating.

…

“Does she really bother you that much?” I ask.

“Yep.” Applejack claims.

“Uh-huh.” Rainbow confirms.

“Definitely.” Twilight states.

“Ooh yeah” Lyra reminds me that she's tucked next to me... Again.

“Oh…” My confidence deflates.

'Well?’

I'm going to that Fucking party.

“When is it?” I sigh in defeat and fold my arms.

“I believe it starts in 30 minutes” Twilight answers. I rub my chin and squint slightly as I think of something.

“So what happens If I were to show up and possibly stay for 2 minutes and leave... hypothetically? I certainly attended after all” I ask carefully.

“Oh please I've tried that. Ya gotta stick it out to the end.” Rainbow scoffs.

“Ugh…I can't win today.” I sink back into the chair, folding my arms.

“Nope.” Lyra tries to lean on me but at this point I instinctively stand up off the chair in time letting her just plop onto the seat. She blinks a few times comically before sitting up again looking slightly annoyed. This manages to bring a smirk to my face as I stretch.

“Well it's been fun.” I grunt.

“Did you say FUN? Where?!” Pinkie shouts from behind me making me jump so hard my heart felt like it Exploded. The others barely even flinch at the ponies sudden appearance.

“Gah! what the fuck?!” I clutch my chest and breath heavily as Pinkie's darts around the room.

“Where is the fun?” She starts bouncing up and down rapidly.

“Yo aren't you supposed to be hosting a party?” I question with an eye twitch.

“Oh right. Oopsies!” She smiles innocently. A moment later she literally disappears from existence with nothing but a comical “Pop” sound. My eyes turn into dinner plates as I try to comprehend what just happened. I slowly point my hand where Pinkie just was and look to Twilight for confirmation.

“Yes that's a normal occurrence with her. No I do not have an explanation for it.” Twilight automatically answers calmly. I raise my other hand to speak but Twilight interrupts and raises her hoof.

“DONT question it. Trust me it's how I keep my sanity around her.” Twilight states very seriously.

“I mean to be fair none of you should even exist so my sanity is very much fucked right now, but even I have limits!” I Rub my temple.

“Listen to the mare bro. “ Rainbow is hovering next to me and she pats my shoulder with her hoof.

“...” I frown and put my hands in my pockets.

“It was a long haul for mahself” Applejack sighs.

“Fuckin hate this place..” I grumble as I start to walk towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Twilight asks.

“A location.” I twist the knob open and duck under the door frame as I open it.

“Ok but you'll go to that location and come to the party that i'm sure you don't know the location of next right?” Twilight deapans. I stop and shoot her a look.

'She’s right though. You don't know where that party i-’

“Uh I could go with him and show him.” Lyra offers, slipping off the couch and trotting over to me. Twilight looks between us briefly before doing what I assume the pony equivalent of a shrug is.

“Well we will see you there then.” Twilight smiles warmly. I maintain a stoic look as I give her a quick wave before walking outside. Lyra closes the door behind us as she briefly gallops to catch up to me before smiling warmly. I look down at her into her adorable eyes and can't help but smile back. The two of us walk down the streets of ponyville for a while passing the occasional pony who would double take and stare at us.

Neither of us said anything the entire walk which I didn't care too much considering how much was on my mind at the moment and it seemed like Lyra recognized this and purposely kept her mouth shut, and if I know one thing about her it's that she likes to talk.

I'm having an internal crisis. Nothing in this equestria place makes any sense nor has any business existing, yet I haven't woken up from this dream despite realizing the ridiculousness of it. You're supposed to wake up when you finally point out the weird stuff right?

'It's time to consider that other possibilitiy’

No...I refuse.

'Its starting to get awfully long for a simple dream.’

It's… a coma! Yes I'm in a coma!

'Perhaps but--’

Hush it's still a possibility! In your face! Or my face?

'This is getting sad…’

I sigh and start to look to the sky where I see some pegasi pushing a bunch of grey clouds around which immediately soiled my mood further. It was then that we seem to end up at a building that looks like of Doctor Seuss designed a house but was only allowed to use sugary foods. Thier were very bright lights as well as a faint thumping of music.

“What the fuck is this? The Physical manifestation of diabetes?” I raise a brow.

“This is sugarcube corner. Its where Pinkie lives and where the party will be hosted.” Lyra explains.

“Interesting.” I squint.

“What?” Lyra tilts her head.

“I was expecting some sort of helish nightmare- Ugh nevermind” I shake my head.

“Ok?” Lyra looks at me funny.

“Hush tiny horse.” I shush her with my finger. She blinks a few times before deadpanning.

“DJ I thought twilight told you this already we are not horses-” Lyra starts.

“See you inside.” I Casually say as I I've already walked inside.

“...” Lyra's​ eye twitches

Time to get this shit over with and try to enjoy myself a little while I wait for the royals...

Author's Notes:

Here is part 3! Part 4 should be coming pretty soon because I've written a bit of it already. That chapter and things that may happen later are why there is a dark tag on the story so get ready for feels.

This chapter marks the first major difference between this and the old one and it is that Luna and Nightmare moon are two separate entities. I thought it would make things more Interesting.