"Man it's been a while..." I say out loud to myself, as I trudge along a path in Kelly's private land. She owns a couple acres around her house just outside of the city limits, So she lets me come up here to shoot sometimes. The regular shooting range is alright, but sometime the rules can be a bit strict. Not that I blame them though, guns aren't toys after all. But I gotta say, blowing up watermelons is a lot more interesting than shooting a piece of paper with some asshole’s Shadow.

Thankfully, I do actually get cellphone reception out here, so after I settle into a spot I can use my hotspot to catch up on some work. Heh. Look at me...A fuckin city kid. I came all the way out here just to do what i usually do at home? No! I have to take in my surroundings and enjoy the beauty of nature! Or something... Eh... stop lying to yourself DJ, you know you came here to destroy things.

'Hell Yeah like that destruction last nig-’

HEY. CLASSIFIED.

'Oh. Didn't get the memo.’

We don't talk about the wonderful events of last night...Or the fact that I still haven't told Kelly how I feel yet.

'Wuss’

We have the whole weekend!

‘But only a few more hours till Mike and Austin come and I'm betting you aren't going to confess In front of them…’

Fuck.

…

FUCK!

Gotta meet up with Kell already! she came out here an hour earlier to set up some targets for us.
I shake my head and chuckle to myself, continuing down the trail with A Twig snapping nearby alerts me, making me look around. After seeing nothing for a few seconds I shrug and continue on my way. There aren't any large dangerous predators to worry about in this area anyway...

I think...

...

Do spiders count?

I continue to walk calmly until I hear a loud thump come from behind me. I quickly turn in time to see a large figure dart into the woods.

Slowly backtracking a couple steps, I notice something horribly out of place. As far as I know the path I'm on right now is the only trail in this area, so this must be new. My eyes widen in horror when I realize something.

That path was not there a minute ago.

I sheepishly look down the new path, shivering slightly from a cold draft that came out of nowhere. Maybe that thing I just saw made the path? No...i would have at least heard the plants being crushed.

The woods in this area of the land were reasonably thick, so it's easy to get lost by going off the path. But what the hell man? Is it me, or is it darker down this path? Where did this even come from? Why am I still standing here with my thumb up my ass? Time to simplify things for myself.

Option 1: Continue on with my life and Ignore the author trying to advance the plot.

Option 2: See what went down the sketchy dark and mysterious path that appeared out of thin air.

Hmm...

This is exactly like one of those horror movies, I bet some assholes are screaming at a screen for me to keep walking or something. But... Let me be rational, I can always go back right? And even if I do meet something or someone dangerous, I am armed. I need to remember this isn't a story, just go see what's on the path and get on with my life, simple. I just hope whatever is planning to jump me likes the taste of lead.

"Left foot, Right foot..." I mumble, slowly Forcing myself to start walking down the mysterious path. As I walk further and further down I begin to think of how stupid it was that I was afraid of something like thi-

My spine seems to go numb as a cold breath on my neck makes my neck hair stand on edge.

My conscious is practically taunting me at this point, mentally shoving my words back into my throat. What do I do? It could be Kelly fucking with me, it could be my overactive imagination, it could be a serial killer, hell it could even be fucking Santa Claus in February or even some generic monster like slenderman!

Wait a second, he can't breathe on me without a mou-ugh... focus! what should I actually do? I could take off right now or I could look first, or do various combinations of those two things....screw it I'm going to be cliche, and probably get my throat cut for it anyway.

I slowly turn my head to look over my left shoulder, and I what I saw almost made me shit myself with enough force to go through the ground and end up in china. It was an extremely tall and thin feminine figure that seems to be made of a bunch of different animals and it had two menacing glowing yellow eyes with red-aaaaaaaand I'm running now!

'Congratulations idiot! You're going to die one of the worst ways possible! As a cliche horror movie protagonist! I'm sure you'll get your oscar in hell!'

I'm not going to bother turning around, because everyone knows that makes you run faster! I didn't hear anything behind me, which could be a good and bad sign. After I was running for awhile I glance over my shoulder to see nothing behind me. I slowed my running to a stop, before finally hunching over to take a breather. That's when I feel a familiar weight missing from my back.

Where the hell is my bag?

Searching around frantically for it, I eventually spot it a few meters in front of me, just laying in the middle of the path completely in the open. I took a nervous step toward it before scolding myself.

You idiot! It wants you to get the bag! Don't fucking do it! Just turn around and go back. Everything in there is replaceable. Yep, just turn around and Leave this creep fest behind- the fucking path is blocked. The path I was just sprinting down was now completely overgrown with thick spiky vines. Yep. A trap, What choice do I have? It's only forward now!

I reach into my pocket to retrieve my gun... Not that it'll do anything against whatever demon is out for my blood, regardless it makes me feel a tiny bit safer. If I get through this crap I'm going to get me a gun that fires holy crosses or something. I take what will probably be my last breath and walk over toward my bag.

As I got closer I start to feel this weird tingly sensation all over my body like I passed through an invisible barrier.

That's pretty high on the not good scale right?

An uncomfortable and intense burning sensation surfaces everywhere, like I'd just been teleported to the center of the sun. I let out a scream of agony as the ground suddenly got a lot closer. The pain seems to go away as suddenly as it came, but My stomach wrenches and I unfortunately spill all of its contents on the floor.

"Wonderful..." I mumble as I get off my knees and look up, I notice something alarming. Is it me, or did my surroundings just change? I'm still in forest...but everything from the trees, grass, hell even the time of day was different. The sun was now setting instead of being high in the sky, and the forest was easily two times as thick now. A million thoughts were flying through my head but all of them were being overshadowed by one.

I've colossally fucked up.

I smack my forehead and curse myself as I snatch my bag off the floor and continued to walk. Only God knows what kind of crazy voodoo I just set into motion! These trees... Kelly doesn't have them on her land. The grass... There was a bunch of it, but now there's just bare soil, and how the hell is it sunset?

Wait i said that already didn't I?

I look around in the sky where it seems every star in existence was popping out to be seen as the sun lowers rapidly. Why is the sun setting so damn fast? I watch as the moon quickly appears over the horizon and the stars shine like I've never seen them before. I stare in the sky, frozen in awe at its beauty until the centerpiece of the sky fills my vision.

Oh my god...

There was another planet in the distance, smaller than the Moon but still glowing brilliantly. This...what planet is that? Mars ain't blue and it shouldn't be that large! Now that I think about it...the Constellations... I don't recognize any of them! There's one that vaguely resembles a horse but no dippers, no Orion, no anything! The sky is alien for all I know! Wait...

What if it IS Alien?

I slowly raise my left hand to my face and give myself a firm smack.

Nope, still awake.

OK! I tripped on a Rock on that trail, and ended up in a coma. Yep let's go with that! This is a crazy coma induced dream! So there's absolutely nothing to-

I hear a faint growl come from behind me.

"Why is there always something behind me?" I mumble as I turn my head. There was what appeared to be a large... Wolf or dog or something. Made completely out of wood.

Yup this is happening.

I slowly turn around and raise my weapon, the creature growls and snarls at me loudly, narrowing its glowing green eyes on me. I was at a loss for what to do so I ended up just standing there idly.

"Make a move wood chips..." I mutter as I stare the thing down. It fakes me out a few times and claws at the air, gnashing its sharp teeth. I take a single step back and it takes one forward. I begin to sweat, as this stand off seems to have been going on forever. There was a dull thump behind me, next thing I know I'm blindsided by another wooden monster. Before I can react it slashed my left shoulder open with its sharp claws.

I shout in pain as I clench my teeth and clutch my wound tightly. Another one comes running toward me and I give it a firm kick in the face. To my surprise, its face basically explodes from the force of my kick. Wood Chunks from its head fall to the floor and turn into black smoke along with the rest of its body.

I should have known they weren't durable because they're made of wood! One of the two remaining wolfs charges at me and meets a similar fate. Despite their weakness, I'll be in some trouble if more show up, so time for a deterrent.

I take the safety off on my pistol and point it at the ground near the thing's feet and fire a warning shot. The loud report of my gun echoes throughout the forest and causes a ton of birds to fly off. I stumble back and clutch my ear with my hand, the last wolf whimpers and runs off into the woods with its tail branch between its legs. When it's out of sight I look back at my wound.

The fucker actually left a pretty deep gash, the blood seeping out of it soaked my white shirt. I think I have a first aid kit or something in this bag. I wince as I carefully remove the bag from my back. One of the straps was ripped, making me groan in annoyance. Before I could get my bag open I hear a earsplitting roar nearby.

Nope nope nope nope!

I throw the bag around my back and take off into the forest. I hear something roar again behind me making me assume I'm being chased...AGAIN! My ass must taste delicious or something .

I stumble across what appeared to be a path and I start running full speed, only stopping when I could no longer hear the roaring anymore. I breathe heavily, briefly stopping to rest, making sure to keep my head on a swivel. I lean on a nearby tree and groan in pain, the wound is starting to catch up to me, I've lost a lot of blood and the pain is really starting to surface now that my adrenaline is fading. At least now I can get my first aid kit from my bag.

...

Where the fuck is it?!

Great. I left my bag back there. I clutch my wound as tight as I can and sit there, practically waiting for death at this point. What the hell is happening anyway? This whole forest is trying to kill me, and As if to illustrate my point, the tree I was literally leaning against springs to life, a twisted and ugly face forming on the trunk and it's thick vines waving around like snakes. I tried to get up but it firmly grasps my thigh with a thick vine.

Was I a Dick to trees in a past life?

'I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.’

...

Oh god not like this.

As the thing pulled me in for the kill, the vine suddenly tightens and I feel barbs stick into my skin. I produce a non manly Yelp of pain, quickly fishing my knife out of my pocket. I cut myself loose with it and run back onto the trail away from the tree. I jog a few meters before pain returns, and like a solid brick wall it knocks me over. I hit the ground hard and my vision starts to blur severely. Not long after that I hear what sounds like steady footsteps. One last thought surfaces that destroyes what little of my mood was intact.

I'm going to miss Kelly. Alot.

I take one last breath before I black out.

-Canterlot Castle-

It was shift change for everypony in Canterlot, the Sun was down and Equestria was now bathing in moonlight. The Day guard essentially clocks out passing Their duties and allowing the Night guard to clock in. The Leadership switches as well. However, neither of the Princesses were on the throne, Instead they were in Celestia's tower, atop her balcony, one of the tallest on the building.

"We came as soon as we could." Luna says as she comes next to her sister who looks out over the peaceful kingdom with a troubled expression.

"So you felt it as well." Celestia says grimly without turning.

"Yes we did..." Luna replies quietly. The pair sits in silence for a few moments before they turn to each other simultaneously.

"We must keep everypony on alert." Celestia states as she looks down at her sister who was much shorter by comparison.

"Yes of course sister, but thy must rest. We shall handle the alert." Luna says, coming over and nudging her sisters side.

"Rest? I cannot rest when Equestria may be in danger..." Celestia starts to say.

"Which is why we shall investigate the disturbance ourself, and report back to thou mine findings. They may rest easy." Luna says. Celestia was about to protest but she couldn't overcome the deep yawn that interrupts her and punctuates Luna's suggestion.

"But sister." Celestia's ears Droop.

"Thou art exhausted from the day's activities. Rest sister. We shall station guards in Ponyville tonight." Luna says. Celestia takes a moment to think before yawning again.

"Very well...be careful little Lulu" Celestia says, as she nuzzles her little sister's cheek.

"Everything shall be alright. Whatever creature slipped through the veil hath little to no magical Aura." Luna smiles and looks confident.

"That doesn't mean it isn't dangerous. Your power reduced along with your stature." Celestia raises a brow and smiles as she rubs Luna's Head with her wing.

"Well in case thou hath forgotten, we art dangerous!" Luna's says confidently with a proud stance.

"Yes, but don't forget your other half still has most of the power after your purification." Celestia reminds with a giggle.

"Our other half shall join us in the investigation." Luna says, thinking of her taller dark counterpart.

“How is she by the way?” Celestia asks Curiously.

“Still adjusting to things. As are we... er as am I.” Luna tries to correct herself with the modern lingo.

"Very well, you two be careful." Celestia giggles.

"Alright. We shall start our investigation." Luna announces, spreading her wings.

"The Everfree forest is very vast, you may not find the creature." Celestia points out.

"It cannot run forever" Luna says with a determined look.

"Even so, it might slip by. I'll be visiting Ponyville tomorrow... In case whatever it is decides to cause trouble during the day." Celestia informs. Luna nods in agreement. The pair exchanges goodnights and Luna takes off into her beautiful night sky.

-Location...Fucked up fantasy woods-

I wake up feeling sick to my stomach, I let out a pained groan while slowly opening my eyes. When my vision starts to clear, I realize I'm no longer outside. I am in what appears to be a large primitive looking hut. There were some tribal masks hung up, as well as a bunch of multicolored jars filled with God knows what lining the various shelves. Then to top everything off, there is a huge ass iron pot in the center of the room.

Yep, I'm getting eaten by a witch.

I start to freak out at the possibilities, until I notice I was on a wooden table with a few cushions on it. I fearfully look at my shoulder and realize that it was actually bandaged up. It desperately needs changing though, because my recent excitement got my blood flowing again. I then start to calm down a bit, figuring maybe I won't get eaten since the owner has seemingly been taking care of me.

Speaking of the owner... The place is pretty empty, I wonder where he or she is? I Try to sit up and realize quickly that was a very bad idea. I have a head splitting headache, raising my hand to my forehead I feel a thick bandage wrapped tightly around it.

Ah... so it WAS a dream. I'm back in reality now...wait a second. Kelly wouldn't have someone living on her land like this. I crane my neck and take one look out of a nearby window, it shattered my frail hopes completely. That mysterious blue Alien planet is still there, which means I'm still on...Not Earth?

I hear a sound at the front door and my head snaps to it. Someone is coming in! I Pat my side where I usually keep my gun and realize it's not there, ditto on my knife. A loud metallic click and an eerie creak halt my breathing, as the front door slowly Swings open. I watch in horror as a dark hooded figure enters the room. My horror shifts to confusion when I realize the figure Isn't bipedal.

The short four legged figure closes the door and walks inside. My mind pretty much forgets the concept of reality as the figure removes its hood revealing what appears to be a zebra.

"I'm glad to finally see you awake, bringing you here has proved not to be a mistake." It says with a smile.

"..."

WHAT THE HELL?!

I watch silently as it walks over and sets down a basket full of an assortment of herbs. It starts to walk toward me but I scoot back, frozen in fear.

"There is nothing to fear, it was I that brought you here." It says in a female voice with a thick African accent.

"You...talk..." I say quietly as I scoot back further.

"I talk as well as I can walk." she says, coming a bit closer. I make the mistake of scooting back again and end up tumbling over the side of the table and hitting the floor with a painful grunt.

"Shit.." I mumble as I painfully push myself up until i'm standing, my legs shivering and shaking from the strain. I stare at the zebra with a look of complete horror.

"You haven't recovered enough to be standing, doing so is too demanding." The zebra says, taking another step toward me. I try to backpedal but my knees give out, making me fall onto my back. Talking zebras? Just what the fuck is going on here?!

"Stay back!" I shout as I scoot away from it. The zebra's smile fades, replaced by a look of deep concern. It did as i requested and didn't make anymore advances.

"Do not be alarmed, I mean you no harm." The Zebra assures. I sit there, my heart racing, and my breaths rapid. It's time to be rational here. If this thing wanted me dead...I would already be.

I start to take a few calming breaths and I raise my right arm to my forehead.

"Who are you?" I ask as I look over to the zebra again.

"My name is Zecora." She says simply.

"Zecora..." I repeat looking down slightly. The pain and wetness in my shoulder increases, forcing a sharp breath out of me.

"Your wound needs to be redressed, or soon you will have deep regret." Zecora says. I look how badly its bleeding and sigh, pushing myself up and back onto the table where Zecora comes next to me.

"Ouch..." I groan in pain.

"Creature of Fame, what is your name?" She asks as she moves over to one of her shelves and grabs what appears to be bandages with her teeth.

"It's Derrick or just DJ if you prefer." I answer sheepishly. She brings over the bandages, a small bottle of some unknown liquid and a small rag.

"Be alert that this may hurt." Zecora warns. I give her a worried glance.

"Alright do it." I say, mentally preparing myself for the pain. I tightly close my eyes as I feel the bandage being carefully unwrapped with a painful sting. When it's off, I see zecora lightly wet the cloth and start to clean my wound.

"This wound is too severe, it cannot be treated completely with what Is here." Zecora informs.

"How-ow....bad?" I ask with a loud grunt as she begins to put the strange substance on me. It smells and stings just like Alcohol so I can only assume that's what it is.

"Unfortunately according to what I see, stitches will be the LEAST of your worries." She says grimly.

"Great..." I mutter dryly as she begins to wrap the fresh bandage around me.

"This should hold for now until you go into town." She says as she goes to put her things away. I immediately sit up and give her a flat look.

"Woah woah hold up a minute.." I say rubbing the bandage on my forehead. Time to find out just what the fuck is going on here. Zecora gives me a curious look as she picks up the basket of herbs she brought.

"First of all Zecora... Where am I right now?" I ask calmly.

"You are in the land of Equestria, Ruled by Princess Celestia." she answers. I start to sweat and get this intense feeling of dread that makes my spine feel cold and my hair stand on edge. I probably started to look pale because zecora's friendly look morphes to concern once more.

"When you said Creature of fame, what did you mean?' I ask, my heartbeat picking up.

"Your race of humans is legend, now I'm seeing one face to face." She says. I notice that she's now cutting up some of those herbs and mixing them up in that large pot. I watch quietly as she pours in some other liquids and mixes them with a big spoon. Just what is going on? Talking Zebras? Equestria? Humans a legend? My brain hurts... Speaking of which.

"I didn't have this head injury before I passed out." I mutter.

"I found you like that, on the ground, face first, flat." She says.

"How long was I out?" I ask, carefully rubbing my forehead again.

"For 2 moons you were sleeping, since then I have been treating." She says as her mysterious concoction starts to bubble.

"2 days!?" I exclaim in shock. I rub my sore back and adjust my position. I've been out for two days? Kelly is probably freaked the fuck out.

"I didn't want you to bleed on my bed, so I put you here instead." She says, gesturing to the table I was sitting on.

"That's understandable. Heh, I slept like a rock anyway." I say with a light chuckle. Zecora actually laughs with me.

"So what unfortunate event has brought you present?" She asks.

"I have no idea. I was walking in the woods and there was this spooky path..." I trail off.

"Hm?" Zecora hums, looking up from the pot.

"Then...this really creepy monster chased me. Then I seemed to pass through some invisible barrier..." I mutter, shivering at the thought of it my skin crawls.

"Ah...here in the everfree, the monsters are plenty." Zecora says. She gets a small wooden bowl and pours the strange dark green concoction into a bowl. That's about when my curiosity finally peaked.

"What are you cooking up exactly anyway?" I finally ask.

"I'm using these herbs to brew, a very special stew." She says as she comes over to me with the bowl. I back away nervously.

"For who?" I ask.

"For you." She says with a warm smile. I look at it suspiciously as she kindly offers it to me.

"What does it do?" I ask, sniffing the unpleasant smelling liquid.

"It is for your gain, it gets rid of the pain" she says.

"Um...ok...thanks." I say, accepting the odd smelling bowl. I stare down at it with uncertainty, until pain shoots through my arm again. I take a deep breath and put my lips to the bowl. This is easy! Just chug it. I turned the bowl up and my tongue is met with a very neutral liquid, almost like water but a lot thicker. It doesn't take me long to finish the bowl and set it down next to me.

The stuff starts to work right away, the pain I felt in my arm, and my headache all start to slowly fade away.

"Wow, thanks Zecora!" I say with a cheerful smile. She smiles and nods at me as I can finally stand up and stretch. "So what's the name of this town you were talking about?" I ask as I slowly stretched my arm, free of the sharp pains.

"The town where ponies dwell is Ponyville I visit occasionally and it's quite swell" zecora smiles.

"Ponyville huh?" I say with a furrowed brow. Zecora nods and I look back to my injured arm. "And I can get this stitched up there right?" I ask, gesturing to my arm. She nods again and i smirk. "Well let's go then" I say. Zecora blinks in surprise and looks at me.

"So soon? Wouldn't you rather rest till noon?" She asks with concern.

"Nah, you said it yourself, I've been resting for 2 days now. I think I've had enough sleep." I say with a flat brow. Zecora sighs and starts to look around her house for something. Watching her search reminded me of something.

"Hey... Do you have my knife?" I ask as I Pat my side where it's kept.

"I have your knife, and that other device." She says, pulling out a sack from the corner of the room with her teeth. She brings it over to me and drops it into my waiting hands.

"Thanks." I carefully pull my knife out and examine it. I can see Zecora tense up slightly, so I give her a reassuring smile. "Heh, don't worry. I ain't gonna hurt ya. Especially since you saved me." I assure. When I flip it around my finger I almost cut myself. "I'm honestly more likely to hurt myself with it anyway." I add with an annoyed look as I put it away. Zecora giggles and seems to get some bag ready. I make sure my firearm is on safety, before carefully stowing it in my hidden holster. Zecora looks at me curiously.

"What does that do? It looks important To you." She asks, eying the bulge of my gun cautiously. I decide to be a bit vague so she doesn't freak out.

"It's nothing really... Just a little safety device." I say carefully. She tilts her head but eventually, She seems to accept my answer, putting her hood on and joining me at the door.

"We must move quietly to avoid the creatures reacting violently." Zecora Warns, slowly opening the door.

"Before we go to that town, I dropped my bag in the forest, can we go look for it?" I ask. Zecora takes a moment to think before nodding.

"Come." She says simply as she walk out into the forest. I follow her out as she closes the door behind us. After briefly looking around she starts walking in a seemingly random direction and I have no choice but to follow like a mindless sheep.

"How did you find me anyway?" I ask, ducking to avoid a low hanging tree branch.

"I heard a loud sound, when I came looking you were what I found." She explained.

"Oh. I um heard the sound too." I say with a nervous laugh. My gun probably woke up the whole damn forest! It didn't take too long for us to reach that familiar clearing where I passed out. Zecora stops in front of a patch of grass that was stained with my blood.

"Here on the ground is where you were found." She says.

"This isn't far from that..." I trail off when I see that tree that snagged me a couple feet in front of us. My blood runs cold and i freeze in place. "That tree tried to eat me." I say, sheepishly pointing at it. Zecora looks at me then back to the tree and starts to laugh. To my horror she starts heading right toward it. "Hey! Are you nuts?" I say as I reach out for her. She draws near and the tree comes to life again, its ugly contorted face popping out on the trunk and its revolting vines twisting and curling.

"Dammit!" I say as I grit my teeth and reach for my knife. Zecora just calmly pulls a small sack out of her bag and opens it up. She pours a tiny bit of white dust on her hoof and blows it at the tree. I watch in amazement as the tree produces a groaning sound, its face seemingly fading away and its vines retracting. I lower my hand from my sheathed knife and let it slap my side, as i stare at Zecora in amazement.

"That is a Venabi tree, its venom is what made you so sleepy." She says turning to me with a smirk.

"Huh. That white dust would have come in handy two days ago." I scratch the back of my head with a perplexed look.

"Powder from the Venabi repels most creatures in the everfree." She says, closing the sac and putting it back in her bag.

"Neat." I say as I look around. I eventually recognize the area and start to back track. "OK I ran this way...so my bag should be around here." I say as I start searching the ground. Zecora joins me in my search and eventually stumbles across something. She picks it up and brings it over to me in her mouth. I take it and a frown slowly graces my brow.

"This is the strap for my bag, it must have ripped off." I say, turning it over in my hands. I notice something else nearby and furrow my brow. I walk over to a large blue feather that seemed to glimmer in the morning light. I slowly kneel down and pick it up and examine it. The feather was fairly thick and insanely soft, like the softest feather I've ever felt.

"Weird..." I mumble as i turn the feather over. For some reason instead of discarding the feather, I instead slip it into my pocket. I stand back up with a grunt and turn back to Zecora, who seemed to be sniffing the ground. I watched for a few seconds and silently chuckled to myself. She actually looks kind of adorable doing that.

"I cannot find your bag, this is such a drag!" Zecora says in a sad tone, letting out A frustrated huff. I sigh and slowly shake my head.

"Its OK zecora. Somebody or something probably took off with it a while ago." I mutter hiding my disappointment.

"I'm sorry..." She says, what happens next kind of throws me off. Her ears fold back in her hood, and she gives me puppy eyes as she rubs her muzzle against my leg. My cheeks feel a bit warm as I lightly pat her.

"Hey it's alright, i can replace the stuff in that bag, it's not your fault anyway." I say calmly. "Let's just go to that town, so I can get stitched up. Then I can figure out how im supposed to go back to my world." I add with a warm smile. Zecora nods and starts to walk again and I follow. That was really adorable! Talking zebra or not. Hmm....there was always something I've wanted to know about zebras.

"Hey Zecora." I say, slowing my pace slightly.

"Hm?" She turns her head towards me.

"Are you black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?" I ask, a cheesy smile on my face. Zecora stops walking and shoots me an annoyed look. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.” I say with a chuckle. Zecora continues walking, shaking her head with a thin smile.

"You aren't the only one to ask me something just for fun." She says.

"Wait do I get an answer?" I ask hopefully. Zecora shakes her head and giggles.

"I want it to remain a mystery for you and everypony." She teases.

"Gah...I hate mysteries... A mystery is what brought me here in the first place." I say with a frown.

"I'm afraid this is a mystery I can't solve, perhaps we should get Twilight sparkle involved." Zecora says.

"Wait what?" I say with a surprised blink.

"Twilight sparkle can probably tell you, what strange event befell you." She explains as we come to a clearing.

"So after I get stitches, go find a pony named... Twilight sparkle?" I ask with a raised brow. Zecora confirms with a nod and I rub my chin. That's a weird name for a pony. Then again considering everything here seems to talk, that's probably low on the weird scale for this place. It was then that I look up and realize that we've been out of the forest for some time and we were now in a fairly large town.

The houses remind me of early colonial houses, they were primitive, wooden houses with straw roofs. So I wasn't surprised to see a complete lack of power lines or vehicles. We start to walk down what I assume was the street, which just seemed to be flat grass. It was then that I saw one of these ponies for the first time....or rather I think the appropriate term would be pegasus.

It has a long pink mane and tail with a striking yellow coat. I assumed by its figure that it was a girl. She didn't seem to notice us behind her as she hums, happily walking along. I clear my throat and she immediately freezes in place. Her ear twitches slightly as she slowly turns to us.

"Oh Hi Zecora I didn't see you the-" she starts to say in a kind tone before her eyes drift up to me. Her jaw completely on drops along with her ears and wings, her pupils turned to pinpricks as she starts to shiver.

"Um...h-" I begin with a smile. I hear the sound of rushing wind as I realize the pony was long gone, leaving a dusty version of herself behind. I deadpan and slowly turn to Zecora who gives me a sympathetic look.

"Do not worry, they used to have the same reaction to me." She says.

"Whatever you say Z." I mumble, as we continue walking. Talking pegasi, This would be so cool...if I was fucking 12 or something and a girl. I seriously can't wait to get out of this place, the sooner we find this "Twilight Sparkle" the better. Not long after that I see another colorful pony. This one was completely pink and she seemed to be hopping around rather than walking. When she notices me she lets out this long exaggerated gasp.

"Ooooooh what are you?!" She says excitedly as she hops over to me with a grin so large that it was basically hanging off her face. I take a careful step backwards and swallow my spit.

'This is highly disturbing’

Yeah no shit.

"I'm...DJ." I answer sheepishly, watching as She starts to happily hop circles around me.

"You're a DJ? Oh that's so cool! Do you know Vinyl scratch?" She asks quickly.

"No I don't know- hey what are you doing?" I say nervously as she grabs my arm.

"Woah, this is a weird foreleg..." She says in amazement as she examines it.

"It's an arm, not a foreleg, and let go!" I bark in annoyance as I try and pry her off my arm.

"I've never seen you before Mr DJ, so you must be new! And you know what that means?” She grins wide.

"Does it mean you let go of my arm?" I ask flatly.

"No silly! It means I have to throw you a welcome to Ponyville party!" She says excitedly, still tightly Clutching my arm.

"Party? I didn't come here for a damn party." I try to say, but like the yellow pegasus I was just talking to a pony shaped dust cloud. This time I turn to Zecora with a twitchy brow. She quietly snickers behind her hoof and I roll my eyes.

"I hate this place already, where's the hospital?" I ask, bringing a hand to my face. Zecora points deeper into the town and I sigh.

"It's going to be a long day." I mumble as I follow Zecora deeper into the town of talking technicolor ponies.

-Around the corner-

Twilight couldn't believe her eyes. She could have sworn to Celestia that they were malfunctioning. She did not just see a mythological creature walking with Zecora and being annoyed at Pinkie. Then she remembered that no one is immune to being annoyed by Pinkie.

She stay behind the house and watches as they walk, slowly being joined by a herd of curious ponies, who followed from a safe distance.

During Princess Celestia's short notice visit, she specifically told Twilight to alert her if she saw anything strange. She was pretty sure that a REAL living human qualified. She bolted off to find Spike as quickly as possible, the very fate of Ponyville and even all of Equestria depended on it.

-Canterlot Castle Throne Room-

In the Throne Room it was an average day for the Solar Princess. Signing and stamping endless waves of papers, Listening to annoying nobles and their petty complaints, and kindly greeting foreign dignitaries and new citizens alike, Just another day in the office. Even when She and Luna felt a disturbance in the veil, nothing particularly interesting has happened for 2 days now. There was however that strange bag that Luna and her other half located in the Forest. They still haven't decided if it's safe to open yet, so it's kept in the royal vault until they do.

She lets out a sigh as she sinks in her throne slightly. She probably would have dozed off right there if a letter didn't bounce off her muzzle. She smiles as she picks up a letter from Twilight. It always made her day to hear from her faithful student, Although it was a bit early for a friendship report. She opened the letter with curiosity adorning her face.

-Dear Princess Celestia,

Good morning! I'm not sure whether this is good or bad but, you told me to report anything strange to you immediately, so that's exactly what this letter is about! I'm pretty sure that seeing a living, breathing, mythological creature qualifies as something strange. Because I just saw what appeared to be a HUMAN, walking around Ponyville. It fits the description perfectly, Tall, upright, hands instead of forelegs, although I must say it isn't ugly like the books describe. The prospect of a real human, is both Terrifying and Exciting at the same time!

At any rate, I will definitely be investigating this further.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.-

Celestia had to re-read the letter a few times to make sure she wasn't crazy. Her mind started to race as she started to write a reply to Twilight, telling her that she'll be there soon and to keep an eye on the human. After sending the response in record time, she immediately stands up and walks off her throne. She turns to the royal guard closest to her, and he snaps to attention.

"Tell everypony that day court is cancelled, and prepare my Chariot for immediate departure." Celestia orders, a determined and serious look on her face.

"Right away your highness." The guard says with a salute, Before sprinting off to Carry out her orders.

"And somepony wake my sister for me." She says before pausing "make sure she brings her other half as well" she adds, As she exits the throne room at a brisk pace. The day just got a lot more interesting, but as her student said she's not sure if that will prove to be a good or bad thing.

-Back in fucking candyland-

OK...this all got even weirder pretty damn fast. I really wish I hadn't bothered to look up in the sky, because there's a bunch of pegasi flying around and pushing clouds. I think I certainly could have gone through the day without knowing that. Oh and did I mention there's a huge floating town nearby that's made out of clouds and liquid rainbows? I didn't? Well...there's a huge floating town made of clouds and liquid Rainbows. Go figure.

There's also a fairly large crowd of ponies following behind Zecora and I, talking among themselves and watching me curiously. Another thing I noticed is the significant lack of sausage around here, there isn't a single guy in sight!

'Good! There will be no sharing..!'

Um....what?

'Nothin.'

"Pleeeeease tell me we're almost there Zecora." I beg, feeling a bit shy from all the attention.

"Across the town, the hospital is found." Zecora says, much to my dismay. My shoulders sag and I closely follow Zecora to our destination. The crowd of ponies seems to get louder by the second, making it hard to concentrate on anything.

"Oh my Gosh!" I hear one of them in the crowd screech. Next thing I know this light blue pony pushed her way past the crowd. I cringe as she gallops over to me.

"Oh wow! The rumors are true! A real, living breathing human!" The pony says, looking up at me with her adorable yellow irises.

"Jeez I just got here 10 minutes ago..." I mumble to myself making the pony gasp.

"Oh wow and he talks too!" She exclaims, smiling wider then what should be physically possible. Then out of nowhere there was this "squee" sound, I looked around cluelessly trying to figure out where the sound came from.

"Hi my name is Lyra! What's your name?" She asks as she steps in front of me.

"I'm DJ" I answer plainly as I try to step around her but she keeps moving to block my path, that huge smile still plastered across her face.

"That's a cool name! Just to make sure, you're a human right?" She asks.

"Yeah last time I checked, now if you'll excuse me..." I say, finally managing to scoot past her. She follows so close behind me that she was basically touching my leg.

"Wow! I'm like your biggest fan! Well not necessarily your biggest fan, more like humans in general, but you're a human so i guess that makes me your biggest fan anyway!" She says with a nervous giggle.

"That's great Lyra." I say uncaringly as I spot a building in the distance that looks alot like a hospital.

"I have so many questions! You look different from the humans in our books." She says, raising her brow.

"Yeah...maybe another time." I say with a grin as I lightly Pat her head. She closes her eyes and emits a happy hum. When my hand rubs across something hard my brow raises.

She's a unicorn.

'Just gets better and better...'

In fact, a good amount of ponies in that crowd are unicorns. Speaking of that crowd... They're getting on my last nerve now. So I clear my throat and speak up.

"Uh...go away or I'll...eat you or something." I say to the crowd. The entire crowd stops and scatters like a bunch of roaches. I chuckle to myself and turn to Zecora who's giving me a disappointed look.

"Hey it worked didn't it?" I say with a shrug.

"That statement you said, might bring you great dread." She says cryptically.

"So You're saying it Will backfire? Probably not, I would never eat one of you guys anyway." I say with a laugh. As we continue to walk. I glance around my shoulder and realize that Lyra is still sitting there with her eyes closed, blushing faintly with a bubbly smile. She eventually opened her eyes and realizes that we were walking away. Instead of running to catch up to us, she did something that made me question my already fleeting sanity.

Her horn started to glow briefly, followed by her body disappearing in a flash of light. She appeared in front of us again, wearing that creepy smile of hers. My jaw slowly drops as I stare at her in horror. She tilts her head and looks worried.

"Are you OK DJ?" She asks, taking a step toward me. I take a nervous step backwards and tremble.

"How the hell...what did you just do?" I ask shakingly.

"I teleported." She answers with a flat brow.

"How is that even possible?" I ask in horror.

"What? It's just a simple spell, most unicorns can do that." She answers casually, like it's the most normal thing in the world, raising an eyebrow.

"Magic..." I whisper quietly a bead of sweat running down my forehead. I really really REALLY hope this is all just some crazy dream. This is too much for me to comprehend, my headache is returning full force despite the pain killers. As we continue walking Lyra comes next to me.

"Everything alright?" She asks.

"No...not a damn thing is alright." I say in a dark tone. Lyra blinks in surprise, her ears smacking against her skull. She doesn't say anything after that, just quietly following next to me as we get close to the hospital. When we were right next to it I look up at it with a sigh. "Time to get stitched up..." I mutter with dread.

"I hope you are treated well, I bid you farewell." Zecora says, briefly glancing at me before walking away.

"OK thanks Zecora, see ya around..." I say with a wave. My eyes suddenly widen and I call out to her. "Hold up, where are you going?" I ask nervously.

"While your wounds are being stitched, I will locate Twilight sparkle really quick." She says, continuing to walk. My shoulders sag slightly as I realize what just happened. She left me here alone with my biggest fan... This is going to be wonderful...

I slowly turn to Lyra who's rubbing me the wrong way with that creepy smile she's giving me. I swallow my spit nervously as I watch her tail slowly swing back and forth.

"Um...Later!" I say as I push my way into what looks more like a clinic than a hospital to me, quickly walking up to the front counter. Two ponies were briefly discussing something until one walkes away, then the other comes over with a clipboard in her mouth. She places it down and starts to write something with a pencil, using her mouth. I snicker slightly at the adorable sight. she eventually drops it when she hears me clear my throat.

"Good morning, I'm nurse Redheart, how can I help you toda-" the nurse trails off as she finally looks at me. Her eyes slowly trail up from my waist all the way up until she eventually reaches my face. Her jaw drops to the floor, as her ears fold and her cheeks virtually turn into tomatoes.

"Woah." The nurse squeaks. I smile and fold my arm back to scratch my neck.

"Hi there. I uh...just need some stiches." I say carefully. The nurse blinks a few times and clears her throat, quickly regaining her professional composure.

"Alright... I have to know a few things first." she says, flipping a page on her clipboard.

"OK." I fold my arms.

"Full name?"

"Derrick J. Young." I answer.

"OK... And what exactly are you?" She asks with a blink.

"He's a human!" Lyra answers for me, I look down and facepalm. Great! She's still here! Nurse redheart looks between Lyra and I with a raised brow.

"OK...this is new. We've never had a human walk in here before..." The nurse mutters as she writes a few more things down.

"Will this affect the stitches?" I ask worriedly.

"No, Stitches shouldn't be a problem sir." she says, coming from behind the counter. "I can take you to a room where the doctor will see you shortly, but I have to check your vitals first." She says.

"That's fine." I say with a nod.

"I'm afraid i've never seen your species before, so you'll have to tell me what's normal." She says with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah that's understandable." I say, chuckling lightly.

"Before we go, will your...marefriend be joining you?" She asks looking at me curiously.

"Marefriend..." I mumble cluelessly. What the hell does that mean? Well...girl ponies are called mares right? so that would mean…

…
…
…

Oh no…

...

Oh fuck NO!

"NO NO NO, it's NOT like that!" I blurt quickly. Nurse redheart giggles while Lyra's cheeks turn red.

"I was just teasing. Will your friend be staying or not?" She asks with a smirk.

"Actually she was just leav-" I start to say.

"Yes, I'll be staying with him." Lyra says with a wide smile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

"OK right this way love birds." Redheart teases.

-UUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

"Please don't joke like that anymore... Like...EVER.", I beg, making her laugh. I cannot wait to get out of here. Hopefully this "Twilight sparkle" can tell me how to get back. Otherwise...I'm going to go clinically insane.

Author's Notes:

There we go! The original first chapter. More to come soon depending on reception of these first few chapters. Stay tuned.