Divide and Conquer
Dan's Comments
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc. Harry Dresden is the
property of Jim Butcher, Carl Kolchak is the property of ABC/Universal Television, Ranma
Saotome is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Sailor Jupiter is the property of Naoko Takeuchi.

Rainbow was not impressed by these newcomers. Fluttershy seemed to be able to make herself
understood, but Rainbow was disgusted that they kept to Fluttershy's speed. So they were
currently crawling along as the others had left in their own directions.

"Why do I have to babysit the slow-pokes?" she complained as the two, weird-looking ones had
managed to take to the air with the girl almost as a backpack, and Fluttershy fussing with them.

The backwash spinning her around in the air had Rainbow as close to airsick as she had ever been,
at least recently. Then she saw Fluttershy waving to her as the trio sped away. "That's not
possible!" Rainbow breathed and raced after them, but the trio kept increasing the distance. The
girl newcomer sitting astride the guy's hips, while Fluttershy stood on his back and shoulders.
Neither was doing the flying.

Rainbow strained and only caught up as they slowed on approaching the outer patrols from
Canterlot.

"If you could go that fast, why didn't you tell me?" Rainbow shouted as the patrol pegasi
approached.

"I wouldn't let them until they had their goggles on properly," Fluttershy told her, and she noted
that all of the trio were wearing goggles. Rainbow facehoofed.

"Well these are the ones you guys zapped?" the leader of the patrol asked as he approached, "They
look healthy enough now." He looked at Rainbow. "Fast too."

Rainbow facehoofed again. "It's not bad enough that I get the library crawlers. Those rogues need
a good kicking." She shadow boxed. "But I'm here looking at books."

"You could have asked to go with one of the other teams," Fluttershy said, "Like the reporter."

Rainbow frowned but followed them.
------------------

"My hovercraft is full of eels," the weird, five-sided critter said.

Beyond the shock that the critter could talk, Applejack scratched her head at what he'd said. "I
don't rightly know what a hovercraft is."

"And why would you use it to store eels?" Pinkie asked as they rode the train to Los Pegasus.

"It's a checksum, a test if I'm communiquing understandably," the critter said.

"It's understandable, jist a little weird," Applejack said, "I'm Applejack." She extended a hoof, and
felt the tentacle touch her. It was dry, like a snake's skin, but soft like a baby's butt.

"I'm Pinkie Pie, but you can call me Pinkie, everypony does," Pinkie extended a hoof, and another
tentacle grasped her hoof.

"Pinkie-Pie-But-You-Can-Call-Me-Pinkie-Everypony-Does is very cumbersome, can I call you
Bruce? Just to keep things clear," the critter asked.

Pinkie just stared at him.

"You haven't given your name," Applejack pointed out.

"My nominate-epithet doesn't translate, as your science doesn't even have the conceptions of those
ascribations," the critter explained, "Like calling someone 'Cutie Mark' when their race doesn't
have the concept of individuals."

"That's very cumbersome, can we call you Bruce, just to keep things clear?" Applejack asked and
smirked.

"He was a Xothian you know," 'Bruce' said, "So now we know we weren't attacked out of malice,
now we know someone/thing was attacking you out of malice, and your leaders believe that better
the crazies on our side than at our backs."

"I think Princess Celestia didn't mean that," Pinkie said and then brightened, "Say! Now that we
can talk, I can throw you the biggest 'Welcome to the Planet Party!'"

"Ah, Pinkie," Applejack started.

"And we can invite all your friends and this Agamid Don we're going to meet!"

"Excellent, I assume I have until we return to Ponyville to discover who I offended and make
appropriate and necessary reparations on my own. I profoundly thank you for the warning. I
would not have known I was being punished until you all yelled 'Surprise', you do all yell 'Surprise'
at the start of parties to let them know the punishment has commenced?"

"Yes, we yell surprise, but what do you mean 'punishment'?" Pinkie asked.

"That's what a party is, you collect a whole group of people to just drag the energy out of a person,
and continually embarrass them with simple games, feed them food they know is going to make
them sick if they indulge too much, and they have to figure out who they offended, what they did
and then make a public apology in front of all their friends and neighbors," Bruce said, "A so much
more civilized form of complete, public humiliation. I had no idea you were the town's
disciplinarian. Wait, Element of Laughter, you're the go-to-pony for the Diarch's entire kingdom
aren't you. The best pony party purveyor. I am honored, and a little concerned that I've made it
onto your roster."

"But parties are fun," Pinkie said.

"Of course they are," Bruce said, "You get to see an enemy humiliated by the community, see them
utterly exhausted by the activities, and have them frantically trying to figure what they did wrong
and to whom. It's great sport, and such a civilized and organized form of public shaming. I've
been to some great parties. I never did anything bad enough to have one thrown in my honor, but I
guess invading your country certainly counts. You throw your best party. I accept the full force
and fury of your people for my actions. And look forward to the penalization and mortification of
the others in my group. We can still be friends afterwards, I hope."

Pinkie stared at him slack-jawed, and Applejack was near enough that condition as well that she
ignored any number of fly-catching jokes she could have made. "Wow, you really are an alien."

"Not that alien, I still like apples," Bruce told her.
------------------

Carl pulled out his recorder. "We're getting new clothes. While their sartorial tastes run from
baroque to gaudy, the seamstress can understand the need for functional working clothes. Frankly,
I doubt the House of Trevi could match the work I saw, and the owner is also the primary worker.
Although her magic multiplies her effectiveness many times. The brave defender of humanity's
ignorance seems very concerned about the offered clothes. The reason makes little sense. I think I
do understand Patrick's loathing of elves, if offering a free uniform in exchange for putting your
neck on the line causes you to fear all offers from others. On a personal note, I am not looking
forward to the pantomime `argument` to retain my usual sense of style." He shut off the recorder
and watched the rather passionate 'discussion' between the Seamstress and Dresden.

"I don't want the sequins and -" Dresden said.

"Those are gems not sequins," Carl told him. He enjoyed the shocked expression on the wizard's
face.

"They can't be, they'd be worth a fortune!" Dresden told him.

"Differing economies," Carl told him, "Frankly they'd look good on you. They'd match your eyes,
and if we get out of here you'd be set for life."

Carl smirked as he thought, Take that on your claims of genteel poverty. He thoroughly enjoyed
Dresden hanging himself on the horns of that dilemma.
------------------

Spitfire was beginning to think she was in love, And with a weird, sex-changing biped from
another world, who understands flight, energy and balance better than most pegasi, heck only a
few Wonderbolts understand it so well. Certainly Soarin' doesn't.

That worthy crashed to the floor of the empty boxcar as the martial artist landed softly and squared
off against Fleetfoot, who understandably wanted less and less to close with this alien youth.

"So what was that about 'being able to fly gives us an unfair advantage'?" Spitfire asked Soarin' as
he shook his head and regained his hooves.

"What he's doing is impossible," Soarin' said, and circled behind the martial artist. The figure
turned and moved to keep both targets in sight. The grin indicated he was enjoying the challenge,
and that he was winning despite the challenge.

"If it was wide open skies," Fleetfoot said, "We'd have him."

Riiiight, Spitfire thought, then considered entering the fray in a completely different manner, That
wouldn't be fair. She grinned, then decided, But I'm going to try anyway.

"Okay, you two stand down. And go get something to drink," she ordered.

"Don't want to let anypony see you getting trashed?" Fleetfoot asked, then grinned, "Your tail is
giving you away."

Soarin' looked at the two mares and shrugged. "Good luck, or should I say, better luck than with
that minotaur."

"We solved that diplomatic crisis," she replied, "And he did get married, eventually."
She waited until the door between cars closed and she was alone. The boy took up a defensive
stance and said something Spitfire didn't understand, although the challenging/insulting tone was
obvious. She circled, then reversed direction, cutting down the area he had to maneuver.

Of course he can just jump over me, she thought, But lets see how he deals with a softer approach.
She reached out with a wing, he braced, and she just stroked his outstretched fist, then pulled the
wing back. His look of wariness told her a lot.

So fighting is what he's used to, she thought, A gentle approach frightens him. Odd that. She
walked around him, brushing his leg with her tail as he pivoted. Again he jumped back. He
glanced around and jumped over her, she could calculate his landing spot and was there before he
was. He windmilled his arms and twisted his body as he tried to redirect to not crash atop her, she
used her wings to redirect him so he did, but more gently than his leap would have.

From his tone, he's apologizing, Spitfire thought as she maneuvered her wings to prevent him from
slipping off, Why doesn't he just jump off? I think that tells the story he's been trained not to hurt
people who aren't a threat.

She let him slip off into a corner, then pinned him long enough she could get on her hind legs and
give him a nuzzle. He seemed utterly confused by her behavior. He hadn't shown that level of
near panic in the fight. Why show it here? She wondered as she let him escape, leaving a trail of
apologetic words as he withdrew. She smiled at that. She was tired of always having to be the
trainer-hardplot, but here she'd have to be gentle to catch a trainee, and no falling back on 'oh wow
you're a Wonderbolt'. This will be interesting, she thought of her new project.
------------------------------

Applejack facehooved as Bruce carried a number of branches in his hoov - tentacles, and tried,
very poorly, to look like a tree. What made Pinkie facehoof was that the population seemed to be
buying it. He was a bad tree costume, not an alien from another world. What made Spitfire giggle
was that Ranma seemed to be doing his level best to nonchalantly keep Bruce between him and
her.

"What a bunch," Applejack commented as they trotted through the streets, trying to arrive before
the shop opened and 'Agamid Don' was inundated with business.

"So first apples, now bananas," Bruce said, "I can presume oranges, what about pears?"

"Not into tentacles, Bruce," Applejack replied and smirked at him.

"Ouch," Bruce said, "And I thought you liked trees. Out of curiosity, when you rushed in in the
middle of the night, you spoke of a moon of nightmares. What did you mean by that?"

" 'Moon of . . .'?" Pinkie said, "Nightmare Moon?"

"Is the resequencing significant?" Bruce asked.

"Sorta," Applejack said, "Nightmare Moon was a corrupting spirit, it got Princess Luna, and it got
Rarity, but we freed both. One of them brony-corns either linked up with her, or had a right
similar basket of powers."

"So, it is a sentient creature? It thinks, feels, experiences life as we do?" Bruce asked, his voice
getting shaky.

"Yeah, but it got away," Pinkie said, "But except for the black alicorn, they haven't stayed hidden
for very long. So we're guessing it either left, or went after somepony else and that we don't
know."

"So, what does it look like?" Bruce asked.

"Later, we're here," Applejack said.

They arrived at the doughnut shop, with a police escort, who knocked on the door when they
spotted Don moving within. He opened the door, did a quick double-take on the tree, and let them
in. "I'm beginning to believe that I should have let Tirek eat me," Don said with a grin, "It would
have solved a lot of problems."

"Sorry, with the invasion going on," the police officer said, "We just need to ask a few questions."

"He's not an alicorn," Bruce told them, a tone of dread suffusing his words.

Applejack raised an eyebrow, but filed the question away for later. "Ya saw the alicorn attack
yesterday?" Applejack asked.

"Yes I did," Don said, showing anger for the first time, "A friend of mine is still in the hospital
because of those four."

"It's the black alicorn who came to the rescue that has elicited the series of investigations," Bruce
said.

His eyestalks are usually looking in their own quadrant, quinrent? she thought, He's got four of
them staring at Don. He may not be an alicorn, but he's a lot more than meets the eye.

"I'm not an alicorn," Don told them, "Just a pony trying to walk in the hooves of those who've gone
before. Speaking of 'gone before' did anypony find hide or hoof of the previous owner? I think I'm
doing a good job running the place, but if he's still out there, it doesn't seem right to pocket all the
proceeds myself."

"No. Not a trace. Nopony we rescued or . . . otherwise identified showed his Cutie Mark, and
since he left, nopony has seen him," the officer explained.

Don shrugged. "Well, I'll do my best, but I can't keep all the money in trust, I have personal
expenses, and the salary was never discussed."

"Talk to a lawyer about abandoned property," the officer said, "I'm sure Posey will be back on her
hooves in no time."

"If I can offer recompense for your time. I have some healing powers. I would welcome putting
them at your disposal," Bruce said, four of his five eyestalks locked in Don, the fifth swinging back
and forth to cover the rest of his field of vision.

"I would appreciate that," Don said and nodded, "Thank you."

"We'll take our leave," Bruce said as he started heading for the door.

Applejack pulled off her hat and said, "Sorry about your kinfolk."

"She isn't kin, yet," Don said, "And thank you for your sentiment."

"You're welcome," Applejack replied, caught Pinkie's tail before she could slip through the
swinging doors and into the kitchen. She dragged the obstinate baker from the shop.

They were outside and someways down the street before Bruce spoke, "There are legends among
my people, of that creature. Some amusing, some terrifying. If he's bonded with a pony here, your
people have nothing to worry about."

"What is he called?" Pinkie asked, "And why is he acting like a baker?"

"That creature does what it decides to do, and it doesn't care what anyone outside its inner circle
think. Emperor or slave, jester or sage, some of both, a little of neither, predicting it is impossible
from previous appearances, but we have its current behavior. It fled from you, settled into a job,
and got close to a local pony."

"Very close," the officer said, "Romantically close."

"So, y'all are staying not ta worry?" Applejack asked.

"I'm saying that the creature Princess Luna encountered was that one and it seems to have taken a
shine to you ponies. Whether that means don't worry, or worry a lot about tricks, is the question
before the house," Bruce said as they walked.

"You make him sound like that meanie Discord," Pinkie said, "Would the Elements work on him?"

"Considering what they did to our two young companions, I'd strongly advise against trying,"
Bruce said.

"Took the words right outta ma mouth," Applejack said.

"In that case, you need to brush your teeth more," Bruce said.