Fluttershy Strikes Back
Dan's Comments
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc. Harry Dresden is the property of Jim Butcher, Carl Kolchak is the property of ABC/Universal Television, Ranma Saotome is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Sailor Jupiter is the property of Naoko Takeuchi.
"Excuse me," Fluttershy said as she watched the discussion around the table change from options to boasting about these newcomers and how they'd be handled. The assumption that since they weren't alicorns, they could force them to do as required, and the Elements gave them a trump card, rankled. She'd expected it from Rainbow and the guards, Applejack was disappointing but unsurprising, but Twilight joining in and Celestia herself not halting things was the final straw. "There's a better way!" When she was ignored she set her Element of Kindness on the table slid it to Twilight. "If all you can think about is murder, I want nothing to do with any of you," she said loudly enough to register, with some of them.

"How are we going to murder them?" Spike called over the other voices.

The eager conversations ground to a halt as they stared at Spike, then shifted to Fluttershy.

"We already nearly succeeded once," Fluttershy said.

"That was an accident," Rainbow said, waving away her concerns, "We thought they were like those other creeps."

"And this is deciding to do it anyway," Fluttershy shot back, "They were missing one of their pack, and had two injured, injured willfully by us, now they are all together. They are not going to stand back and let us do it again. No, they aren't like those meanie alicorns, they aren't fighting us either. So they aren't acting like those big, dumb, meanies, but we are."

"Fluttershy -" Twilight began.

"Naw, she's right just kill'em," Spike said, "It's not like they could actually help us."

"I hope Spike is just playing Nightmare's-advocate," Rarity said, "All of us have been a little shell shocked at the intrusion of these interlopers. That is not a good reason to treat all these people as if they were the same. In fact, if someone was playing us, they would send in all these 'meanies' then intentionally send in people who would be friendly. If not for Winona vouching for that black alicorn, we might have reacted like this towards him."

"Who and what they are isn't as important as that 'Nightmare Moon' alicorn who showed up right before they did. The one we were hunting before we encountered them," Twilight said, "We have to be able to test them for the Nightmare's influence." She shuddered at the angry stare she was getting from Rarity and Fluttershy. "Without hurting them."

"Again," Applejack added.

Fluttershy looked around. "You need them alone, or at most in pairs to search for . . . him?"

"Alone would be best," Celestia said, "But pairs would work."

"I can get them to form pairs away from the others. I can get them to want to," she assured them.

"How?" Applejack wanted to know.

"Simple," Fluttershy said, "What do most creatures have in common?"

To her disappointment, only blank stares answered her. She sighed and hoped she didn't have to explain everything.
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It was a point of concern that one of the attackers nosed open the door. This one came alone, although several faces were pressed against the clear portion of the door once the yellow and pink native waved us forward. She pulled a drawing from under her wing and placed it on the low table. It showed a stick figure of one of the others, with green lines radiating off them. She pointed to the female, snuffled and backed away with a grimace. The Arboreal made a comment, then the Female sniffed the Arboreal and backed away with a grimace.

Frankly, their scent traces were so unusual, I didn't find them too offensive, but the native indicated a pair of us going to a shell with red lines radiating off the upper surface. One of the figures bore a spear while the other took part in doing something in the shell.

While I was utterly mystified by the drawings' meaning, my colleagues seemed to understand instantly and with varying degrees of enthusiasm. The male pointed at the spear-carrying figure, held up one finger and rotated his head side to side, then held up two fingers and moved his head up and down.

The native seemed mildly perplexed, then pointed at the trio. All three moved their heads up and down. The native relented and waved them forward. The two 'guards' presumably were handed spears, and accompanied them to a room outside the cell and down the hall. The Peacemaker took up a position outside the room, while the Arboreal accompanied the female within. The native soon exited the room to return to us and held up a cloth wrapped bar of a white substance. That decided it for He-who-writes and the Speciesist, the Speciesist took the spear and stood guard over a second room where He-who-writes did whatever they had promised. After a while the Speciesist and He-who-writes exchanged places. He-who-writes seemed a bit damp, but in far better spirits. The Female and the Arboreal, now returned to her red-haired, female form, urged the Peacemaker into the room, and the offer of which would be the close guard had his cheeks redden.

I couldn't help it, I laughed, both at their rather innocent embarrassment, and that my manipulations in dreams had carried over so well into the waking world. The ambient pex energies in the room had shifted, but not uncomfortably. Since spellcasting was in the offing, and I was alone, I took the chance and used a spell to clean and refresh myself, since that seemed to be what the drawings and the actions were accomplishing. Although I didn't submerge myself in water, fire is a better purifier and it just took a flash to clean myself off.
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Twilight watched with her jaw hanging open. "Gotta trust your friends," Applejack told her, and shut her mouth, "Looks like I owe Winona a few treats and a word with the Princesses." She paused. "I wonder what would happen if Pinkie and I took them ta that doughnut shop." She closed Twilight's mouth again, before leaving.

Rarity looked up from the project she'd been working on with Fluttershy and stared at all of them and their clothing. "I wonder if we provided replacements, would they allow us to take and launder their clothes?"

"They should be as close to what they have as we can manage," Fluttershy said, "And let them guard whoever is doing the laundry."

Rarity stared at her. "When did you become a mastermind?"

"Have you ever approached a momma bear with cubs, who needs a tooth extracted?" Fluttershy asked, and waved a hoof at the newcomers, "I have, this is the same. Except we're the one who gave their cub the toothache."

Rarity gulped then nodded. She picked up the project, and followed Fluttershy to meet with the 'newcomers'.
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The grumbling from Kolchak is getting to me. I'm reminded why mind-altering magic is so illegal. It would be so satisfying to wipe this reporter's memory.

I put that aside, the real reason for my anger is the Outsider standing just a few yards away, protected by the others in the group. None of them are in this thing's thrall. I have no idea what hold it has on them, unless you count it throwing itself into the line of fire while I stood there transfixed.

It's not my fault, I think as I remember McCoy's lessons, Whatever they hit me with, I couldn't imagine doing anything than standing there, and I couldn't understand how anyone outside the Nickleheads would be affected. Until they started screaming, and then it was like being too drunk or stoned to do anything meaningful.

I returned my attention to the situation at hand, and considering they were on its side before the attack, that it acted when I didn't probably only strengthened things. Until it makes a move that proves to the others what a threat it is, I can't move against it.

My fellow wizard is almost as bad. 'Elf-slave' he called me, telling me he could smell their corruption on me. The idea that anyone rational would befriend an Outsider and view elves as infinitely worse makes no sense. Yes, I'd love to get rid of both of them, but the elves are all that keep the Outsiders from overrunning my home world.

The scary thing is all his accusations could be true. Whether I'd know if they had put me under their influence, is a big question mark. There are enough things that go bump in the night that work exactly that way. So no outright denial would be believed, even by me. The assertion that mind-magic doesn't work that way doesn't stand up when the Outsiders break most of the mystic rules. My Fairy Godmother may have simply influenced me since I was young.

Our captors are another thing. Fricken' technicolor, pastel ponies, I kid you not. I nearly died laughing, until they flash fried the wizard and his girl friend. I've heard some real horrible screams in my life, but those two managed one that still has me shaking. Whatever these ponies did, it hurt those kids bad. If not for the wizard and the Outsider's healing powers, both would probably be dead.

I should be used to feeling like I don't know what's going on, but here everything I know is turned, not on its head, that would be too easy, but tilted just enough that making guesses only makes things worse. The Outsider may be an ally, against the cute, harmless-looking ponies, if Carl's wild conspiracy theory is accurate. I need a drink, a good steak and about a week of sleep. I'd settle for a way home, because no Way brought me here, I just woke up here.

The one who offered the deal with the baths arrives with another of the native attackers. "If they don't have all six, they can't use their superwhammy," I told them, yeah superwhammy, technical term. That calms Patrick and Makoto down, Carl is still acting like he's standing on a hot stove, although hot scoop might be a better phrase.

But where would you publish it? I thought, You putz. Okay hanging out with the wrong crowd.

The two set what looks like a thin book on the table and gesture for us to come closer. With both Patrick and the Outsider making subtle scanning spells, I do the same, and Patrick gestures us closer, then the Outsider mimics the gesture, I close on the table with the others.

Maybe I got it wrong, I thought as the storybook is displayed, Maybe Patrick is holding the Outsider in thrall. Dangerous, and very unwise. If it breaks his hold, it will kill him and anyone he seems to value first.

The first picture/page is of happily playing ponies with a couple of the winged unicorns in the background looking over them. Next page is a group of the winged unicorns, but obviously male with long teeth and claws scaring the ponies. Next one of them attacking the one with the sun on her butt while she's sleeping. Then a pony dashing up to the three of the horns and wings crowd and his 'speech' bubble is of another of the nasty, mean-bad monsters. Next is the groups that attacked us all with thought bubbles of these evil winged-unicorns changing into other forms to attack ponies. The next page is the attack, and the horror that they had hurt us who were not their targets.

"Friendly fire," Ranma says, "Story of my life."

Patrick's answer is more comprehensible to them. He flips the 'book to the page with the winged unicorns scaring ponies. He slowly drives a knife through one of the evil, nasty-bads. Makoto puts her finger on one, and leaves a scorch mark obliterating the image. The Outsider tears one out of the book and eats it.

"In for a penny, in for a pound," I say and tear one out of the book, then tear the image into confetti.

"Oh, you'll help them, but not your own people," Carl comments, "Because they can use magic too?"

"I don't see you signing up," I tell him, he backs away.

Ranma stands with Makoto and Patrick, indicating his support. The yellow one with the pink mane and tail nods, then flips to the end of the book. The images are harder to figure out. Her companion seems to be warding off a human figure with a string, then doing something, and then warding us off with a set of clothes?

"She wants to make us outfits?" Ranma asks as he stares at the pictures, then at his own clothes.

"I guess if we're in their nation's service, we need to be uniformed," Makoto says, "But I'm staying in my costume to fight."

"How are they going to make us clothes, other than hats and lab coats, none of them wear clothes," Carl said.

"Maybe a hatred of seersucker is a universal trait," I tell him. It earns me a frown but it also puts me one up on the snark contest.

Patrick used his knife to carefully cut the six ponies needed for the maguffin superwhammy from the picture they were in. He cut the picture into six, one pair of ponies he took for his group, one pair he slid to me and Carl, and the last third he handed to the Outsider, who accepted.

The Outsider then pantomimed something that was utterly incomprehensible to me, but had Ranma staring intently at the thing. "I think he wants to tell them that the pairs we picked aren't the pairs that we are stuck with." Ranma looked at Patrick and Makoto. "Did you know he can talk to them?"

"Elder Things are extremely intelligent, I doubt it would have any trouble learning their language," Patrick replied, "I'd also like to know how in Heaven's name you figured that out from those gestures."

We finally agree on something, I think.

Ranma grinned and rocked on her heels. "You mean I thought of something before you did?" Patrick just shrugged, conceding the point.

"You treat that thing like a person," I say, "Can't you sense what it is? As bad as the Fae are, that thing is a thousand times worse."

"Mister Dresden," Patrick sighed, then replied, "Elves are tapeworms in evening dress, they give us nothing that we couldn't make ourselves and often already did, without the overwhelming condescension. The Elder Things create things, and when their hubris gets the better of them, those things bite them on the ass, just like people. They do not create automatons who endlessly trumpet their praises, Mister Dresden."

I enjoyed the 'tapeworms in evening dress' comment, I did not like being called a robotic cheerleader for the Fae.

"Can I borrow your pom-poms or do the Outsiders need you for a performance?" I ask.

"Sure, but not my tutu, you'll stretching out to much," he replied.

"If I must separate you two," Makoto said, "I must separate you two."

Patrick backed off, leaving me the field. But he got the girl, no fair.

"Okay," Ranma said as he arranged the tokens, "The pegasi will go with Patrick and Makoto. The unicorns with the Outsider and me. The ground pounders go with Snark and Boojum."

"You're the Boojum," Carl tells me.

"Oh joy," I tell the universe.