“I have had it!” Twilight virtually screamed at me. While disintegrating the muffin with her telekinetic grasp. “Ever since you’ve gotten here, you’ve made my life a living Tartarus!” Twilight looked like some wild animal. Her mane was a mess, as was her coat. Her eyes were bloodshot and her horn sparked erratically.

“I don’t think I’ve been that bad.” I said taken aback by the force of her outburst. Lyra and Vinyl each took a few steps away from me.

“Really?! You’ve foal-napped foals and foal-napped a unicorn! You forced me to stay in my house against my will! You put a bucking muffin on my horn! You turned my friends against me! You did something to the Princess to make her like you! You turned Lyra into a monster!” Twilight ranted and her words began to hit home. I took a couple steps away from her and Twilight seized that opportunity and began to advance.

“Hey I like my tentacles....” I heard Lyra say, sounding offended.

“You did something to little Dinky! Why else would Derpy react like that!? Then the three of you came back like nothing’s wrong! Which has to mean that you did something to poor Derpy too! You ignored Pinkie’s party! Then to top it all off, of all the things you could have done when you decided to join the party, you got in a music fight with a DJ!”

“I-I got you a-apology cookies.” I stammered, feeling my panic begin to rise as I felt tears well up in my eye. “I-I put them on y-your doorstep.” I quickly glanced over to see that the cookie box had been rifled through, but not a single cookie had been eaten.

Was she right? Is this my fault? Have I really done some kind of mind-whammy to force ponies to like me?

“Twilight Sparkle! What the Tentacle-Loving Fuck are you talking about!?” I heard Lyra cry as she leapt in front of me, instantly going Eldritch-Lyra Mode.

Twilight’s eyes snapped to Lyra and one of them twitched. “Lyra, it’s going to be okay. I can find a spell to fix this.”

“I don’t want you to fix this!” Lyra used a couple of tentacles to gesture to all of herself. “I like this! This is the nicest thing anypony has ever done for me! I don’t care if that that’s weird! If you think that something’s wrong with me for liking a giant purple tentacle creature, than fuck you!”

My jaw would have dropped if I had one. I simultaneously noticed two things as Lyra had come to my defense. I was now full on crying, (yay emotional whiplash.) and the crowd that had formed earlier came back to watch this war of words.

“Lyra can’t you see?! It’s done something to you!” Twilight almost sounded pleading. “It turned you into this thing! It made you get into a fight with Bon Bon!”

“Don’t you DARE bring her into this! I got into a fight with Bonnie because she was lying to me! Simple as that!” Lyra shouted then thrust a hoof in my direction. “That is the kindest, sweetest, most caring stallion I have ever met! He didn’t foalnap Dinky! He let her in after she was the only one to talk to him like he was an actual person! I was planning on jumping the poor guy! But I fainted because.... Reasons.... Anyway! He took me in and let me sleep on his bed! He told you to go home after you not only didn’t listen to a word he said, but also because you were being irrational! If you’d have calmed down and thought logically you would have been able to leave!” She reared onto her hind legs and began to pace like a human would. I would have thought it was funny, if her speech wasn’t still making me cry.

I had a friend. I had a friend and she was defending me. I collapsed onto my ass, though I didn’t particularly care.

Lyra continued her systematic breakdown of each of Twilight’s points. “The guy has a sense of humor if you hadn’t noticed! That’s why he put a muffin on your horn! He was being silly in an attempt to help you calm down! Also, he didn’t turn your friends against you! He didn’t do anything! When Rainbow attacked him, he did absolutely nothing! Why? Because he’s not the bad guy here! He hasn’t even talked to your friends, well not counting Pinkie, but that’s another issue! Your friends don’t agree with you because you are acting like a fucking psychopath! As to the Princess, she’s powerful in her own right! If he tried anything I think we’d have seen it! And going back to me! I as I said before, I like this form! It’s like I’ve become one with my fetish!” I heard a couple ponies gasp. “Oh grow up!” She snapped before returning her ire to Twilight, who stood in still, stunned shock. “As to Derpy and Dinky, that’s my fault.” I noticed her anger simmer down enough for her to stop shouting. “I was getting Derpy up to date and I switched around a couple things on accident. Which led to Derpy attacking an innocent person. And you know what? The guy forgave me. Even when I did virtually nothing to help after causing the problem in the first place, he forgave me. And the party? The party he didn’t ask for or want, the party which made ponies invade and trash his house? He has a right to be upset about that. His first day here and he gets shit on! How does he handle it? By going inside to relax so he doesn’t kill us all. Because I know damn well that if the poor guy ever did lose his collective shit and give us all his vast collection of stored up fucks, nothing would be able to stop him. Not you. Not the Princesses. Princesses plural. There are two of them Twilight. Tartarus, I think the only thing that could stop him would be Dinky because he loves that little filly, and she loves him.” Lyra sniffled and teared up a bit. “That little filly knows more about what friendship really means than you ever will, and that honestly breaks my heart. What happened to you Twilight?”

Twilight stammered and shook. Tears now welled up into her own eyes.

Lyra heaved a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “Twilight, Go home, write the Princess about what we just argued about, and think about what you’ve done.”

Twilight wordlessly turned around and trotted into her house and shut the door.

Lyra glowered at the crowd and they swiftly dispersed. She turned and trotted over to me. Only now did I noticed that Vinyl was sitting next to me and rubbing my back. “It’s okay. Just let it out.”

“I’m... I’m sorry you had to see that. Ugh... I’m sorry that that even had to happen.” Lyra said, planting her haunches onto the ground and pinning her ears bak sadly.

“Thanks....” I sniffed.

“Hey, what are friends for?” She smiled weakly. “Anything you need? Anything we can do to help?”

“I.... I just want to get away from everything for a bit....” I said feeling a little sick to my stomach. I felt something shift and I looked behind me. A white Trapezoidal building sat where my house used to be. There was a faint blue glow coming from it.

That’s familiar..... Why does that look familiar?

“What’s that?” Lyra asked.

I got to my feet, took a breath and stepped towards the building. “Let’s find out.”

The three of us entered the building. The only thing inside was a large blue glowing circle on the ground.

No..... could it be.......

“Step on.” I said slowly, as I stepped onto the blue circle. Lyra and Vinyl swiftly joined me. Then, with a hum and a flash of blue light, we vanished.

Author's Notes:

Not exactly a funny chapter. Sorry.
I kinda thought this was a little necessary because of how Twilight was acting.
This chapter honestly made me a little sad.
Note to self: Don’t write after a stressful day. You get emotional.
My writing music for this chapter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Llx0UR7lo9g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYPcgCtdP5A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpMcFqmMIto