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My Life as an Eldritch Horror

by LucidDreamer

Chapter 6: The Great Ponyville Dubstep War: Eldritch vs. DJ Pon-3 (Edited)

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Author's Notes:

This chapter may be a tad shorter than normal. Sorry if that bothers you. :twilightsmile:

I walked into the kitchen as Vinyl's music assaulted my apartment. Pinkie was sitting in the doorway grinning at me. I lashed out with a tentacle and yanked her into the kitchen proper, closing the door as I did.

"Hiya Dritchy!" She grinned at me as I held her up to eye level. "You're missing your party."

"Pinkie..." I took a slow, deep breath. "You happened to shatter some nice relaxing time with friends. Do you have any regard for privacy?" I thought for a moment. "...or the Laws of Physics for that matter?"

She stretched her head close to mine, in violation of the very laws I'd just spoke of. She cocked her head to the side. "Fuck physics. I'm Pinkie Pie." She giggling, snapping her head back like a rubber band.

"Huuuuuh..." I Sighed. "Pinkie?"

"Yeees?" She giggled playfully.

"I promise I'm not angry, and I'm pretty sure you'll survive this, soooo......" I yanked the door open and threw her out of the apartment. Perhaps a little too hard because she went through the library window. "Opps..." I said stupidly.

By this time Dinky, Derpy, and Lyra had joined me. "That was a bit much."

"I'm a tad... perturbed." I said a little stiffly. I rolled my shoulders and popped my neck. "Okay, time to deal with the DJ that's on top of my house." I took a step, paused, then took a step back to look at the three. "Stay in here if you want. It may get loud." I looked outside. "Eh.. Louder."

"What are you planning?" Lyra asked.

"Mostly musical shenanigans." I shrugged. "I've hijacked the Music of Harmony once on accident. You'd assume I could do it on purpose."

"Go ahead, do what you want. I'm staying here. This music makes my head hurt." Lyra groaned and wandered back into the living room.

"Dinky, you stay-" I began but she cut me off.

"Nope, staying here with Lyra, I prefer nice calming music, compared to that." She gestured a forehoof outside, before she too returned to the living room.

"Well if Lyra's foal-sitting..." I looked to Derpy. "I could go out and have some fun. I don't remember that last time I had a night off."

"Well my lady, the rave awaits." I gestured out the door with a bow. She giggled and I followed her out.

The day was turning to evening and Rave is exactly what was happening. Ponies of many colors were dancing, filling up the whole street like one giant mosh pit. It was no wonder nopony noticed the flying Pinkie, everypony was too into the music. I waded through the crowd, Derpy hovering just above it. When we got a good distance away, I.E. Right in front of Twilight's Library, I turned to face the Dj atop my house.

"Eh-hem." I cleared my throat and pounded my chest with a fist briefly. "VINYL SCRATCH, YOU KNOW NOTHING OF EDM!"

Everything went dead silent as every single pony turned as one to look right at me. I simply folded my arms over my chest and locked my gaze on the DJ. Vinyl slowly removed her shades, revealing her deep red eyes. She looked somewhere between confused, shocked, and horrified. Wait, Terrified, she was terrified. She shook herself and Immediately put her shades back on. "Oh yeah, what do you know squid-face!?" She yelled over the crowd, causing said crowd to laugh.

"You need new material I've already heard that one today." I chuckled. "Let me show you some real Dubstep." I closed my eye and concentrated on a specific song.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8uSx3DyJjk0

Paul Flint - Savage

I got the feeling of slithering snakes in my gut as I felt myself be lifted off of the ground. When the drop hit I snapped my eye open and threw my arms wide. The crowd erupted as Vinyl gave me a slight nod. She flipped a record off of the turntable with her crimson magic and slammed home a new one.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A0l4Nb8vLPE

PON3 - Serve 'n' Obey

The blast of sound actually threw me into Twilight's library, simultaneously shattering my concentration and causing my music to cut off. I pushed away from the tree and shook myself. Vinyl was smirking at me. "Oh, you wanna go little mare?" I murmured. "Let's go." I once again concentrated, summoned up another song.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ms7xcSRDsMo

Teminite - Shockwave

This time Vinyl's music was cut off. Now I'd made this a personal challenge. I saw her crack her neck and set herself behind her booth. Her tail lashed wildly as she pinned back her ears, glaring at me behind her shades. Mechanically, she switched tracks.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zMf4A_KnsQA

SCRATON Sic 'Em With Ragga Twins

For a second time, I was thrown into Twilight's Library. I really should apologize about this later. I looked at Vinyl. She had this challenging grin on her face. I looked down, searching for Derpy. I saw her in the crowd, dancing away with everypony else. She was even cute when she danced. How did she do that?

I looked back up at Vinyl. Let's try something a little different. I got a warm feeling that ran through my whole body as I channeled the next song.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OOrkLp6dGB8

Rameses B - I Need You

This song did something different than the others. Instead of immediately cutting off Vinyl's song, it slowly grew. Slowly drowning out Vinyl's. I looked down at Derpy to see how she was doing. I found her staring up at me with a blush of her face. Uh oh.... I might've accidentally done a thing..... While I was distracted, Vinyl had begun returning fire with a vengeance.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZzCvu66YKo

Music To My Ears (DJ Pon-3 Remix)

Thankfully this time I was only momentarily stunned. Damn, why did she have to pick the good Pon-3 music? Perhaps it was time to bow out and let the DJ do her thing? Looking back over at Vinyl I noticed she was staring at me. She gave me a small respectful nod. Which I returned. One last song then.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v2VXF0uTCM0

Anki & Tuen - Coming Home

I opened my arms and dipped my head in respect as my song played. As I looked back up at Vinyl she had this mischievous look on her face. Then I noticed that Pinkie was next to her. They both waved at me.

Oh.... Oh no....

Wait.... Did Pinkie just hold a grudge?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RCbomQaU89Y

Andromulus -Dominions

I hit the tree hard. Finding that I was near the top of said tree, I hit every branch on the way down. At least it felt like I did. I landed in front of the library's front door with a crash. As I moved to get up the door opened, slamming into my face, cracking the wood, and knocking me backwards and onto the ground again.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" Twilight roared from her doorway. Ponies immediately scattered like cockroaches when the light comes on.

"I think it's time to leave." I heard Derpy say as she helped me up.

"ELDRITCH THIS IS YOUR FAULT, ISN'T IT?" I felt a chill run down my spine as I felt Twilight's eyes on me.

"Go. Go go go!" I yelped looking over at Derpy, who herself was looking worried. We weaved our way through the retreating ponies, heading as quick as we could towards my house. I grabbed Derpy pushed through the ponies like a bulldozer, pushing ponies out of the way with my tentacles. With a final push, I got through the madness, burst through my door, slamming it behind me and setting down Derpy on the floor.

Derpy was panting a bit and I took a breath, rubbing the back of my neck.

"So, did you two have fun?" I heard Lyra call from the living room. Glancing at Derpy, who shrugged, we walked into the living room. We walked into the living room together. Lyra and Dinky were sitting on the couch. A bowl full of Cookie Crisp hovered in front Lyra, and had a spoon halfway to her mouth. Dinky was hovering the PS4 controller in front of her and she was focused on the T.V. On the T.V. was, of course Bloodborne.

"I had fun," Derpy smiled.

"I played some music. I think I might've gained Vinyl's respect," I shrugged.

"Oh, cool," Lyra shrugged and finally shoved the spoon full of cereal into her mouth.

"Hey Dinky, how's it going?" I looked over at the filly.

"Good," She responded flatly.

"How's Bloodborne," I asked.

"Good," Same response.

"Would you like to play something better," I asked, plotting.

She blinked a couple times and looked at me. "Play what?"

"Oh it's the game that started all this..." I chuckled gesturing at the T.V. "Would you like to play Demon Souls?"

Next Chapter: Hanging with Lyra and modifying my house, or I've watched way too much HGTV (Edited) Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 15 Minutes
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