Don't Look Inside
Chapter 59: Chapter 58: Personal Issues
Previous Chapter Next ChapterSirius had to go through a long process of restoring his reproduction capabilities. The sensation the spells gave him was uncomfortable at best as a lot of what was inside him and depended on his ability to procreate needed to be fixed. There was both damage to nervous system as well as tissue. Due to a lot of stress as well as physical harm done to his body, the process of rebuilding and healing was even more uncomfortable than it was expected at first. It had to be longer as well, unnerving Sirius to no end. Gladly, Iclyn was by his side and held his hoof with her own and nuzzled him from time to time, making him feel better.
Fortunately, everything was done successfully. Sirius felt much better than before, especially in his lower, more sensitive region. He was used to feeling pain in his crotch almost all the time and feeling it finally gone was a huge relief he couldn't describe with words. Even his mood improved.
So, he and Iclyn went home after the whole ordeal was over.
"How do you feel?" the pegasus filly asked him.
"Much better." Sirius admitted. "I don't feel pain, I don't feel discomfort. I... I grew accustomed to feeling both, and now... I'm glad it's gone." he looked down. He was still unsure about being very close to Iclyn.
"Sirius..." Iclyn looked at him. She saw that he was hiding something else regarding the situation. "You can tell me anything, you know?"
"...Not here." he replied quietly. "Alright?"
"I understand." she nodded. "Let's go home."
As the two returned to the mansion, Sirius immediately spotted Anastasia as she sat by the garden. Her face was turned away from him but her posture told him she wasn't in the best of moods.
In truth, Sirius was torn. There was his friend that needed help but there was Iclyn that needed love. Anastasia was lost in the new world, completely alone. Her friend had changed a lot since the last time they talked, and nothing else was even remotely familiar.
"Iclyn..." Sirius turned to the pegasus. "I... I need to help Nastya. I am the reason she's here and she can't return home. I must teach her language, at least."
"I understand." Iclyn nodded. She held nothing against the girl since she viewed her as she viewed Sirius: alone and scared. Both needed help in their own ways. "If you need me, I'll be in the bedroom."
Sirius replied with a nod and went to Anastasia. She hadn't moved at all even after the gates closed with an audible click. As Sirius approached, her ears swiveled in his direction. And yet, she didn't move.
"Nastya..." Sirius called her softly. "Are you ready to learn the language? As promised, I'm here." he said. He had made many promises in his life to her, some of which he had broken. He didn't want to repeat it.
For a few seconds, the girl was silent. Then, she stood up and nodded. She thought that keeping herself busy would be good for her.
Sirius led her to the mansion. Inside, the two made their way upstairs and into the study. Sirius searched for a dictionary to help him with teaching the language. He was never a good teacher but he was sure he could at least try to help Nastya learn. Although, there still were many issues with her presence. He thought that she would need to go to school with him and study there as well as socialize. Everything would be better if she befriended someone. He could clearly see she was suffering from loneliness.
So, Sirius grabbed a piece of paper and a pen to write some basic English to Commonlang translations Anastasia needed to learn to be able to communicate. Thankfully, Commonlang was a rather simple language without unnecessary complications. It didn't have gender nouns or too many different tenses to remember. Such simplicity made it very easy to learn and use without any misunderstandings.
The studying session the two were having reminded Sirius of old times. They would stay either at his or her house and study together, helping each-other out if needed. Then, they would play some video games together. It had been a peaceful time that Sirius enjoyed greatly.
After an hour of studying, Sirius and Anastasia decided to grab a bite, and so they went into the kitchen to look for food. As he looked into the fridge, he finally remembered a very important thing — there was no meat. He needed meat for protein according to the prescription he received.
There was a dillema. He didn't want to leave Anastasia all alone again but he still needed meat. After telling his friend about the problem, he decided to ask Flora for help.
So, he went outside and searched for the elderly mare. She was in the back of the mansion tending to plants inside a greenhouse.
"Um, Flora?" Sirius called her.
"Yes, what is it?" the gardener replied as she exited the greenhouse.
"I need to ask you to do something for me." the former human said. "I need something specific from a griffon shop." he was slightly uncomfortable with telling her about his tastes. "Doctors prescribed me meat because of my, uh, body condition."
"There's no problem, don't worry." Flora replied softly. "Some ponies are different in their eating habits or needs. So, what do I need to get?"
"Just say you're from me. They know me and what I need." Sirius replied. "And... thank you."
"Alright, I'll return soon with the food." the mare nodded.
Sirius was relieved. He didn't have to go anywhere by himself and could spend more time with his friend. He wanted to make her feel better about the new world, after all.
So, he returned to her shortly and then the two studied for another hour after a snack break. Anastasia made some progress in learning indeed. As little as it was, she still learned pretty well. Sirius remembered her having excellent grades in almost all subjects back at his second school, and he had no doubts that she would learn the new language just as quickly as he did of not better. After all, she was rather smart, certainly on par with him if not higher.
Once Anastasia voiced her desire to rest, Sirius left her and went to Iclyn. He knew she was waiting for him and he expected her to invite him to bed for certain activities.
In truth, he was anxious about it. What if she didn't like him? What if he did something wrong? There were many 'what if's that went through his head as he limped upstairs. He feared he wouldn't satisfy her but hurt her instead. He didn't even know if his size was sufficient. Overall, he was very nervous and scared of things going wrong because of him.
As he entered the bedroom, he was greeted by a peaceful sight of Iclyn lying on the bed casually and reading a book.
"Um... Here I am." Sirius said nervously as he walked up to the bed.
"Sirius, why are you so nervous?" Iclyn asked as she put the book away. She looked at him with worry.
"I... I can't really explain." he sighed, sitting down at the edge of the bed. "You know why we went to Cadance, so... Do you want me?"
"I do." Iclyn nodded. "You're a handsome colt, really."
"Um... I've never, uh done anything that, um... close." the former human said as he looked down. "I don't think, um, you'll like it."
"Why?" the pegasus asked. "We're both virgins, so? Sirius, your lack of experience doesn't make anything worse."
"But what if I hurt you? What if you're uncomfortable? Wha—" his words were cut off as Iclyn placed a hoof on his lips.
"Then we'll get through it and figure out how to make things better." she said softly.
"I don't know... I'm not ready yet." Sirius nervously shifted in place. "Not today, alright? I... I'll say when I'm, uh, ready."
"Take your time, we shouldn't rush it." Iclyn nodded. "When you're ready, I will be, too."
As the evening came, Princess Luna observed the dreamscape of early sleepers. What she found there surprised her quite a lot.
Among many doors of different ponies, a new one appeared. It was taller than others and looked a lot like another door she remembered. Indeed, it looked a lot like Sirius' but it was way calmer. The door was made of light wood, some unknown ornaments decorated it. Unlike the door to Sirius' dreams, this one was unlocked.
Out of curiosity, Luna peeked inside. There, a strange being was sitting in the middle of a dark room. The princess hadn't seen any beings like that before but she immediately figured out whoever was there had a connection to Sirius' native world.
Luna entered silently and closed the door behind her. As soon as other sounds disappeared, she became able to hear quiet cries and muffled sobs.
"Hello?" Luna said softly, and the being swiftly turned around and faced her. It was Anastasia. Her eyes were red from crying, her hair disheveled, and dark circles surrounded her eyes.
"Who are you?" she asked in confusion.
"I'm princess Luna, the guardian of dreams." the alicorn introduced herself. "And you?"
"I'm Anastasia." the girl replied while looking at the alicorn warily and cautiously. "Are you... real?"
"I am." Luna nodded. "I think I know who you are — you're from a different world."
"I guess I am..." Nastya sighed wearily. "I just... feel so lonely here. I was searching for a friend but ended up here, away from friends and family. Everything is so different here. Talking, um, ponies, magic... Princesses guarding dreams." she chuckled. "I found my friend but... he has become different. We... talked a bit, and now... He's just weird. I mean, he has always been strange in a certain way, but... I guess I just don't know what to do anymore..."
"Is Sirius your friend?" the princess asked. She already knew it but she needed confirmation. Besides, she knew that making assumptions could turn out badly for both sides.
"Um, yes." the girl looked up at her. "You... know him?"
"I doubt I know him as much as you do, Anastasia." Luna replied. "He appeared here some time ago and we aren't on good terms. Unfortunately, I've done a few mistakes at the beginning and now I feel he doesn't like me at all."
"Why? He... used to be nice." Anastasia asked. "Well, at least a few years ago. I've not talked with him for about two years or so."
"Your friend is a very troubled person." the princess explained. "I'm afraid he's been through some traumatic events even before he appeared here."
"I didn't know that." the girl frowned. "Well, he's never been a social person but..."
"The truth is, I want to help him. However, he doesn't let me." Luna said. It was her chance to redeem herself and actually help Sirius. "Maybe the two of us can figure it out and help him together. In turn, I'll search for a way back to your world so you may return there."
"I'd love to!" Anastasia smiled slightly. She would trade everything for her own family and friends. She would be very happy to return to them. "I... I don't know if you're real, your majesty, but I do want to go home! And... Sirius does feel off to me. I'm still his friend and I want to help him."
"Good." Luna nodded and smiled. "As soon as you wake up, you'll find a letter."
"I... can't really read in your language yet. I don't even know how we're talking right now." Anastasia replied.
"Oh... This is unfortunate. However, I'm sure Sirius is already giving you lessons, is he not?"
"Yeah, he's teaching me. I guess I do have to learn the language first." the girl said. "Thank you, princess. If you don't mind... we could talk from time to time. I feel so alone right now and it'll be nice to talk to someone. If I'm not a burden, that is."
Luna noticed how everything around Anastasia became brighter. The girl was looking at the princess with hope and some fear. The princess couldn't refuse her. She indeed wanted to help those who needed it, and Anastasia could use some company.
"Everything's alright, Anastasia." the princess said. "I'll leave a few times to look at others' dreams but I don't see any problem with talking to you."
Maybe Sirius' world wasn't too bad since someone as nice as Anastasia came to Equestria. She and him were friends, and Luna figured out something made Sirius see his world in much darker tones than what Anastasia saw. Maybe his old friend would help him become better and see good in things around him.
Overall, Luna was happy she'd be able to finally help him directly.
Next Chapter: Chapter 59: Back to School Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 59 MinutesAuthor's Notes:
I want to hear what you have to say about Sirius' issue with sex. Let's see if you guess correctly, ladies and gentlemen.