Don't Look Inside
Chapter 58: Chapter 57: Problems
Previous Chapter Next ChapterAfter Sirius' confession of love, he and Iclyn were gazing in each-other's eyes as their hearts burned with love, his more so than hers. It was not an obsession but he felt the need to love and be loved in return. He hadn't experienced even the simplest form of affection in a very long time, and it created an empty space in his heart begging to be filled.
The two kissed again, and Iclyn carefully guided him back to bed. His body tensed and the two pulled away.
"Iclyn, I... I want to take it slow." the former human said nervously. "I just..." he stopped. He understood he was suppressing his love again. No, he didn't want to repeat mistakes. His expression changed and it didn't go unnoticed for Iclyn.
"Sirius?" she called for him.
"Forget I said those words." he replied and kissed her deeply, pushing her slightly into the bed as he wrapped his forelegs around her in a loving embrace.
The two rolled, and Sirius found himself underneath Iclyn. He blushed slightly, and then went in for another kiss — he couldn't get enough of physical affection he was finally experiencing for the first time. It felt nice, it felt good, it felt right. He couldn't compare it to anything else he had ever felt before.
But it made him happy. A genuine smile appeared on his face. Gone was the expressionless mask or the angry snarl. He could trust Iclyn completely.
Finally, they parted and just gazed in each-other's eyes, content with what had happened between them.
However, Sirius didn't know if he wanted to make a step forward in the relationship. What if he hurt her physically? Besides, did she want him to make love to her?
"Sirius..." Iclyn spoke quietly. "I want to make love with you. Do you want it?"
His face immediately darkened as sadness creeped onto it. He had another secret he had kept from others. It pained him to the core, and if not for an unfortunate event he experienced he wouldn't hold back in love.
"Iclyn, I..." he began nervously as he gathered up the courage to tell her. "You and I... We won't ever have foals. I'm... sterile." he admitted. His ears folded as he averted his eyes from her. If something were different, he wouldn't have that permanent problem.
Ringing silence reigned in the bedroom. Sirius couldn't say anything, Iclyn couldn't utter a word. This revelation right after confession left her shocked.
"I also... Don't think I can have sex." Sirius added quietly. "It just... hurts."
"Maybe there is a way to help you?" Iclyn suggested. "I, I think we can ask the princesses. I'm sure they can help you."
"...I don't know." the former human said. He didn't trust the princesses at all. What if they messed something up? "I... don't want to see Celestia nor Luna."
"Then we can visit Mi Amore Cadenza." the pegasus said. "She's the princess of love. From what I've heard, she loves helping ponies with love."
"...Maybe it's right to go to her." Sirius said with uncertainty. Then, after some consideration, his mind came to a conclusion — it must be done not for him but for Iclyn. "I... I think I can try. Just be with me, alright?"
"Don't worry, Sirius." Iclyn pecked him on the lips. "I will be by your side."
Sirius nodded, and then the two stood up from the bed and walked outside.
"Maybe you should strap to the wheelchair." the pegasus added. "I think it would be better if your leg rested."
The former human nodded without arguing. After all, Iclyn was right about it. As much as Sirius hated the wheelchair cart, he still needed it.
After everything was ready, Sirius and Iclyn went downstairs. There they encountered Anastasia as she chewed on an apple. She didn't look particularly happy or even energetic: her mane was a mess, her eyes were slightly bloodshot, and her overall expression showed fatigue.
Without hesitation, Iclyn went to greet the new pony in the mansion. She didn't hold anything against Nastya even knowing that Sirius had loved her.
"Hello, Nastya!" Iclyn said, extending her hoof for a bump. She had a smile on her face as she tried to cheer the newcomer up.
"...Hi." Anastasia said, and then awkwardly put her hoof on Iclyn's.
"Iclyn." the pegasus gestured at herself.
"Uh-huh." the girl nodded and then put her own hoof down. The introduction was very awkward, to say the least. Then she turned to Sirius: "Sta— Sirius... Um, who is she?"
"She's the one who helped me a lot." Sirius replied. "I love her."
Anastasia felt a tinge of jealousy and sadness. While she knew she would never love him in that special way, she saw Iclyn as someone Sirius used to replace her with. Did he even care about her any longer? He expressed that he could be friends with her but was it true? It seemed like Nastya was absolutely alone in the new world.
Sirius noticed the change in her expression. He could feel that she wasn't feeling good at all. Unfortunately, he didn't know what to do.
"Um... We'll return soon." he said. "Feel free to explore the mansion. Once I return, I think it would be right for you if I teach you."
"Uh, sure." the girl nodded. "Have a... good day. I'll just do... something." she sighed deeply.
Sirius really didn't know what to do. He needed to fix his problems but he could clearly see that Anastasia had rising issues that reflected on her mood. He remembered her being much more cheerful and full of energy. He couldn't imagine the transportation to the new world having such an effect on her.
He also noticed something — he forgot to take any weapon with him. Immediately, he turned around.
"What's the problem?" Iclyn asked him.
"I forgot the weapons." Sirius replied as he made his way back to the stairs.
"I don't think you really need them." the filly said.
"Someday, maybe. But I want to be able to defend you and myself." he explained as he went up the stairs. "I need them."
"I... I understand." Iclyn nodded. "But I hope you won't need them someday."
"I hope, too." he said as he disappeared on the second floor. Soon, he returned with his longsword and the pouch strapped to his body. He left his old sword and the greatsword in the bedroom — two weapons would be enough already. "Let's go."
It didn't take them long to arrive at the place the princess of love was at. Contrary to what Sirius expected, she didn't live in the castle but in a mansion like his. It surprised him quite a lot — he didn't expect a princess to live in what one could consider not worthy of royalty. However, it was a pleasant surprise. Remaining modest while being rich and powerful was never something seen often.
Sirius was quite nervous about it, truth be told. What if something went wrong? What if Mi Amore Cadenza decided to be too intrusive as well?
Surprisingly, the gates before him and Iclyn opened after a few moments of them standing there. The filly gently nudged him forward since he was stuck in place. After they entered, the gates behind them closed. There was only one road ahead of them and it led straight to the main building. Its doors opened, and the princess of love stepped out to greet her guests. Unlike the first occasion Sirius saw her at, she wore no regal regalia.
"Good day, young ponies!" she greeted the two as they made their way to the mansion. "I sense that you have a problem I can help you with. Come inside, we'll be able to talk there over a few cups of nice tea and some cookies."
Sirius could do nothing but nod. So far, it was all good. Definitely better than he expected.
As he entered the mansion, he saw that it wasn't filled to the brim with unnecessary elaborate decorations. In fact, everything was simple and yet beautiful in its own way. While there were different shades of pink and purple, they were used in moderation and fitted the overall style.
The princess guided them to the living room where a small table already stood. True to Cadance's words, three cups of steaming hot tea were placed on the table along with a bowl of brown cookies with chocolate chips. It all looked very homely and welcoming.
"Take a seat, please." the alicorn invited them, and soon everyone took their places. "Enjoy the tea and cookies. When you are ready to talk, so will I."
"I think we, um, can talk right now." Sirius said.
"Alright. What is the issue, then?"
"Well, your majesty..."
"There's no need to use the title. You're in my house as a guest. You may call me Cadance." the alicorn smiled warmly at Sirius.
She remembered seeing him at the wedding. She remembered him fighting Chrysalis and almost dying while doing so. She saw that he did it to protect the one he loved — Iclyn. Cadance was happy that the two became lovers. At the wedding, she felt Sirius' love. It was suppressed, hidden, shunned, and ashamed of. But right then, she could feel free love radiating from him.
"Um... T-there is a problem, but..." Sirius stuttered. "It's not about the two of us but, uh, just me. It is... I'm sterile. I can't have foals, and it's painful for me to, um..."
"I see." Cadance nodded. She saw how hard it was for him to speak about his issue even in the presence of the one he loved. "Was it always like that?"
"No, it wasn't." Sirius shook his head slightly. "I just... hit my, uh, stuff really hard. On accident."
Cadance saw that he was lying but she didn't want to press the issue. He didn't came to her to talk about his past and she respected his privacy.
"There is a way to help you." Cadance said. "It would require certain spells, and the whole process would take about an hour."
"Whatever it takes." Sirius nodded. He didn't care how long it would take, he just wanted himself to be sexually functional again. He didn't want to be a cripple that couldn't even please the one he loved or give her foals. While he was sure he didn't want foals since he was certain he'd not be a good father, at the very least the ability to please would be good.
Meanwhile, Anastasia was roaming the mansion. She didn't know what to do so she walked around without a clear goal in mind. She just didn't have anything to do and roaming was the only option. She didn't want to sleep or eat at that time.
Frankly, the only thing she wanted was to return home to her family and friends. However, it was unlikely that it would ever happen. The new world she had appeared in replaced her old one.
She wasn't sure she liked that change. Sure, the world seemed nice and better in a way but it just wasn't right for her. She would better be with those he knew at home than being all alone even in the most perfect world there was.
She sighed deeply and then went into the mansion's bedroom. She didn't know why she wanted to go there but she just did. Inside, she found a couple of swords. The first one was the longsword she had brought with her. The second one was much more interesting since she hadn't seen it before. It even had a beautiful sheath to be stored in.
Other than that, there wasn't anything interesting in the room. However, something made her feel slightly uncomfortable. Something in the very air wasn't right but she couldn't figure out what. It was a heavy feeling, the one that always appears right before something terrible happens.
Anastasia quickly exited the room and closed the door behind her. She dashed downstairs and then went outside the mansion.
She breathed deeply as soon as she appeared near the garden. Everything was way too silent in the mansion. It was far too empty for something so spacious and big. It pressed on her, made her feel threatened.
Once outside, she immediately felt better. The heavy feeling was gone.
She sighed. She thought that spending time outside wouldn't be that bad at all. She just needed some fresh air and flowers to smell. Not to mention sounds of wind, some birds, and distant ponies talking in the streets. In truth, Anastasia was always slightly claustrophobic, especially when alone. She always needed something to replace the silence, to fill in the blank. She couldn't stand hearing nothing.
Anastasia wished she could talk with her parents or friends. She didn't know the local language yet, making her impossible to talk to. Without anyone to chat with, she felt lonely.
She could only hope that Sirius would return soon and provide her some company.
Next Chapter: Chapter 58: Personal Issues Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 7 MinutesAuthor's Notes:
How do you feel about the new cover art? It was done by one of the readers — JamesA. I believe that his work is pretty good and reflects the story well.
So, what do you think will happen next with Sirius, Iclyn, and Anastasia?