Don't Look Inside
Chapter 43: Chapter 42: The Royal Wedding, Preparations
Previous Chapter Next ChapterAbout a week has passed since Sirius got the Alicorn Amulet. He had spent the most of his time studying and training, just like he always did ever since coming to Equestria. However, there was one very noticeable difference from his first days — he was willing to talk to Iclyn about his past. He had told her various stories about his preadolescent years. The filly found out that he wasn't actually too different from foals of that age. While ponies did mature faster, Sirius was still very much like them in his earlier years.
So, he exchanged stories with his equine friend. Both of them had interesting moments to talk about and awkward moments to chuckle at. The bond between the two strengthened and grew as time passed and Sirius was willing to let out more of himself — who and what he had been and how he became who he was at the moment.
Sirius had some doubts about releasing the more important things about him, but eventually told Iclyn a few slightly disturbing things. The former human had been having mental problems since his birth. He let Iclyn know that he suffered from anger issues. In truth, those issues were never completely gone, but he learned to control and suppress his violent urges of harm and destruction. Sometimes, he couldn't, and it resulted in bad things.
He broke many things in his rage, as well as hurt some people in the process, a few of them were those he liked in one way or another. His violent tendencies made him distant from most of the other kids in the kindergarten and school. Though, the three friends he had had at that time knew how troubled he was and showed him compassion and support, making him feel more confident and overall better. The four went together through the first years of school and helped each-other out on many occasions, be it classwork, homework, or any other problem they met on their way. They had been doing it until they became distant. Unfortunately, the friendship ceased to exist.
Unbeknownst to Iclyn, Sirius still blamed himself for how quickly they grew apart in the later years, more specifically at the beginning of his adolescence. He became much different than them, not to mention he had to move to another city. Maintaining contact was hard, and he'd never had the chance to visit them again. He had so many things to do on a daily basis he barely had any free time.
The former human still didn't want to speak about his teen years. He told Iclyn that they were especially painful for him and that it would take more time for him to be comfortable to talk about them to anyone. Not so much time had passed since he met Iclyn. She was willing to be his friend and support him, but he simply couldn't see how it would work. For him, knowing a person for barely a month was like not knowing them at all. He was always slow to make friends due to this. He had grown up with a small circle of trustworthy friends that he kept for years, not letting anyone in. Later, he accepted he had trust issues. Along with his anger, distrust made him an isolated, lonely kid in his new school.
Iclyn was both relieved and worried. She had learned many things about Sirius' early childhood and the problems he had to face. However, his refusal to talk about the teen years scared her. If anything, it was the most important part of his life that changed everything for him. He had never mentioned a romantic interest as well. Had he ever had a crush, at least? Iclyn knew it was too much a personal matter to ask at that time, but it worried her nevertheless. Was he ashamed of his love? Had he even loved anyone in the first place? She knew he was capable of affection, but then there were his mental issues. Could he ever get a girlfriend, especially with that mind of his?
The pegasus filly hadn't ever seen anyone like Sirius, not even with similar problems. There were some shy colts, but even they made attempts and showed affection towards those they loved. He, on the other side, was seemingly entirely different.
Iclyn had been watching him for a long time, and he had never looked at anyone in a special way. In a way only the one fallen in love could. The farthest he had ever gone was giving a look of friendly affection towards the pegasus filly when the two talked, but nothing more. Of course, he was an alien and all, but couldn't he see the signs of affection some fillies in the class showed him? It wasn't like he couldn't seem them. Was he ignoring them? He always looked at those fillies with cold disinterest which was particularly visible when they tried to talk to him. Why couldn't he give a chance to any of them?
Iclyn thought about it and came to a conclusion that he still loved someone from his previous life. She didn't want to take into consideration the more horrible option — he might not wanted to love at all. She couldn't think of a reason why anyone would avoid love.
She also noticed that he didn't talk much about his family. She had heard only a few words about his parents, whom he claimed to be very nice people who raised him well. Iclyn could feel the sadness in his voice as he said those words. She didn't want to push the subject matter forward — it was already painful for him, and Iclyn didn't want to make it worse.
Sirius didn't think about what Iclyn was thinking — he had more important matters to attend to. He realized that the wedding he was invited to was arriving in a few days. It was publicly announced, and he received a reminder. He decided to go and see what weddings looked like in Equestria. Besides, he might meet ponies who would recognize him and might be willing to do something for him if he so wanted. While being anti-social, Sirius had always maintained important connections with people he needed. He knew how to earn trust and respect, and he definitely knew how to use them to his advantage. Having the reputation of a fierce warrior and winning the most important tournament in Equestria, Sirius was sure he would find a way to do what he wanted.
In the reminder, it was advised to come to the wedding in a suit or similar attire. Sirius could afford one but he didn't want to be restricted in movement. Instead, he buried his face in the books about modern etiquette. He found what he was looking for — a sword was often adorned by noble stallions to show their status and ability to fight if needed. It was a well-respected accessory that could be used well without a suit because it bore much more meaning than any fabric ever could.
Sirius decided to have the greatsword and the longsword with him. The first one was richly decorated and would surely shine while the longsword was better in terms of practicality. The Canterlot Castle was the place where the wedding would happen, and Sirius knew that the halls of that castle were wide and had enough room for a greatsword fencing. However, he was much more used to slightly shorter blades that could still pack a punch. All in all, the greatsword would act as an eye-candy.
So, he went to the nearest blacksmith and bought needed items for maintaining the swords. He intended on getting them some time ago but forgot it. Gladly, he remembered it in time. He polished both his weapons and put oil on them, making them glisten and reflect in the light. He thoroughly cleaned the silver of the greatsword, making sure it shone perfectly. He spent a good few hours at it, and he was sure the result was worth the effort.
In the reminder he received, he was also informed that he was allowed to bring one person. Sirius didn't know if he would ask Iclyn to go with him. All in all, they weren't in a relationship, and asking her to such an important event would be... odd. What would she think of him? After all, he was an alien. Wouldn't it be weird for him to ask her out?
He shook his head. No relationship, and thus no asking. He would be pretty comfortable without her.
Then, his mind shifted towards other attendants. It was certain all alicorns would be present in one place. Sirius considered taking the amulet, but he realized it would be found out before he would have a chance to use it. Besides, who would attack him during a wedding? It would be a great way to ruin the public image of the princesses.
He understood he might be paranoid by that point, adding to his 'collection' of mental issues. He desperately needed to relax and unwind. However, Sirius didn't know what to do. The trainings he had daily didn't bring him as much relief as he hoped they would, and he didn't really enjoy any other activities like sports and such. He wasn't social, and thus didn't want to interact with others. It would bring him more stress than relief.
Sirius sighed wearily. It seemed like he had to wait until the wedding was over. Without any other big events in sight, he would be able to figure out something. He also had Iclyn by his side, whom he considered a trustworthy friend. She hadn't failed him once and was always supportive of him. It made him feel much better when she was around.
Maybe he should invite her to tag along. He just needed to word it right.
"Iclyn, may I ask you something?" he turned to his friend, who was lying on her bed, reading a history book.
"Yeah, what's it?" she asked, putting aside the book.
"There is wedding in the Canterlot Castle, and I have an invitation." Sirius began. "It was said I can bring someone else. Are you interested?"
"I don't know... It might get boring." Iclyn shrugged. "But, I think it's worth a try. Is there anything I need?"
"It's recommended to come with a dress." Sirius answered.
"Oh... Well, I think my mom can lend me hers." the filly replied. "I suppose I'll get it first. The wedding is in a couple of days, right?"
Sirius nodded.
"Well, then I have enough time." Iclyn nodded. "Better send a letter to mom..."
Next Chapter: Chapter 43: The Royal Wedding, Suspicions Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 44 MinutesAuthor's Notes:
I'm rapid-firing these chapters now. They're still smaller than usual, but the upcoming event in the story might take time to write. It's going to be pretty big, after all.
Since we all know that changelings invade during the wedding, what do you think about Sirius in that event, what would he do? I have my own plans and ideas, but I always like hearing something of your own.
Besides that, I like you making guesses and theories on this particular story. I guess it's a guilty pleasure of mine.
P.S. I know that you enjoy longer chapters, but I can't really add anything important to what I already have without it feeling like unnecessary pool of words. Here in Russia, it is called water, or вода. That is, making an essay or a similar type of text bigger by adding something stupid and unnecessary. I want to avoid writing in quantity instead of quality (pretty ironic, consider there's a chapter almost everyday now).
If you have any advice, I wouldn't mind reading them.