Sirius sat all alone during recess, munching on a daisy sandwich in the cafeteria. He was bored, truth be told. The lessons of pretty much anything were turning into routine he didn't like much. Sit in one place, listen, write, go back to the apartment, do some homework, sleep, and then the cycle repeated. He didn't learn anything new for himself aside from history and language lessons. He was good at math, he wasn't too interested in literature or poetry, he was indifferent to art, and music class didn't catch his attention. There were also lessons of Law where he learned about one of the most boring aspects there was — law. He already knew the basics, he didn't need them repeated again.

Though, a few things were interesting to him. First of all, there were few laws regulating weapons in Equestria. The crime had been decreasing ever since the two royal sisters took the throne. Violent crimes disappeared first, robberies and the like second, even petty theft and other small crimes were at their lowest. He gave some respect to the princesses — they managed to do what humans couldn't.

Sirius began to like ponies more and more. While they weren't unlike humans in many ways, they were vastly different. They were peaceful and friendly, at least most of them. Their weaponry wasn't developed as far as humans' was. However, the temp of development was noticeably lower. The most technologically advanced race were the minotaurs. They shared many traits with humans, such as lacking deus ex machina-esque magic. Just like humans, the minotaurs had to rely on machinery to survive and flourish.

However, the former human didn't mind slow progress. Peace, true serenity was much more important than a race to the stars or anything else. While there wasn't internet or TV, he was actually glad to be away from them. It left him time to study and train instead of wasting his life before a screen. He wasn't addictive to games or films, but they certainly made him quite lazy when it came to studying. Though, Sirius had to admit that the internet gave the most of his knowledge he used in his day-to-day existence. If not for what he got from the free source of information, he would most likely be dead, and not by his own hands.

His line of thoughts stopped when he saw Iclyn walking up to him.

"Hey." she said, greeting him after the two were separated by the lesson of Magic. He responded to her greeting by simply nodding. "I... Well, maybe it's not my place to say, but I suppose you should go out more." the filly said slightly nervously. "Um, I just think that you need to meet a few ponies, get to know them. Maybe enjoy some activities together, you know?"

"I don't want socialize." Sirius replied. "I trust very few. You prove to be good friend."

"Well, I don't think it would've happened if we weren't roommates." Iclyn said. "With that being said, I really want you to become friends with more ponies. They, um, might be able to..." she lowered her voice. "Help you."

"Iclyn..." he lowered his voice as well. "My secrets are not for many to know. I... I can trust only you. Trusting more ponies wouldn't be good. Please, understand this. I enjoy... hanging out with your friends. But! There is one thing — I don't trust them my truth." he looked his only friend in the eyes. "But you... You are different. In what way, I don't know. It is a feeling — it is not logical or rational. I just feel." he sighed deeply. "The less others know, the better. I don't want everyone to find out who I am. This truth is... special only to you."

"I... I think I understand what you're saying." Iclyn replied. "I just thought that it could be better for you. Judging by your words, I'm wrong."

"We found understanding." the corners of Sirius' mouth rose slightly. Then, he half-whispered, "Thank you."

It was music class for Sirius. In truth, he wasn't a musician or artist at all. He had a sense of rhythm, but that was it. He could play a simple tune or two on a keyboard, but everyone could do it just as well. He didn't search anything in art, it was just not his interest. He liked some genres of music more than others, disliked some, and hated few, but overall didn't express much interest in knowing the popular bands or their music. It so happened that he never stuck a pair of headphones onto his ears. He always wanted to be aware of his surroundings, and thus used anything at his disposal, including his hearing. Loud sounds were simply not his.

So, during the class, he was mostly playing the audience as his other classmates performed on stage. Such a practice helped them avoid stage fright. Sirius also noticed that Iclyn sang and played the piano. He considered her singing voice somewhat beautiful. It expressed emotions well, it was soft and nice to the ear, and it actually hit the notes right. She wasn't a musician by any means, but the former human couldn't help listening to her the most and wanting her to perform more than others.

The song she was currently singing was about autumn and its transformation into winter. The lyrics were soft and pleasant, telling a sad and yet optimistic story. Iclyn captured the emotions perfectly, singing while playing slowly on the piano. The song was slow, and so was the music. The chords were soft, quiet, all accompanied by a slow tapping on the high notes that resembled both the rain and the snowfall.

Sirius smiled at Iclyn, enjoying the song. It made him feel relaxed and at ease. Her voice carried through his ears, making him close his eyes and remember one particular day in his childhood.

There he was, standing near a lake. It was November, the last leaves were falling, covering the surface of the water with a beautiful assembly of yellow, orange, and red. Sirius was just a young boy, age eleven. It was his birthday, and a small circle of friends were with him. He was actually turning twelve, and his friends celebrated it with him.

He still remembered their names even after all of them separated just about a year after. David, Frank, and Helen. They were his three friends from the neighborhood, living not so far away from himself.

Everyone was happily playing with what the autumn had to give — the leaves. Children built piles of them, and then jumped into them, much to the dismay of their parents, who were watching them close. Then, all of them would go fishing. Sirius even managed to catch one, which was later cooked and given to him wholly.

He hadn't taken up fencing yet. He was just an innocent boy, just like many others across the world. He had his own issues already, but it didn't hurt him much. He was a little shy as well. Underweight for his age, too. He was already full of problems he couldn't solve, but it didn't matter to him at all at that time.

He liked that gathering since only a close group of people was with him, only his trusted friends who understood him and knew him. They were with him despite all his flaws. It was a true friendship indeed.

The birthday celebration wasn't big, just as he liked. He remembered that all of them had cake, he unwrapped the gifts, and then all of them went to the lake with their parents. It was indeed a pleasant day.

As the song ended, Sirius finally opened his eyes. He immediately saw Iclyn, who was looking straight at him and smiling. He smiled back, and then started clapping along with other ponies. His applauds were the loudest and faded only after everyone else finished.

Iclyn was indeed a good friend to him. It was a long time since anyone elicited these emotions from Sirius. He knew trusting Iclyn was a good decision after all. Maybe it wasn't a friend he deserved, but she was nice to him and brought him positive emotions. He would never ask for better, for it was more than enough for him.

He wondered if it was love. No, it couldn't be. He still loved another person, how could he love anyone else? Iclyn was a good friend he enjoyed being around with, nothing more. How a romantic relationship would ever work? The pegasus filly didn't deserve such a wreck as him. She deserved much, much better. Besides, he couldn't love her — she was a pony.

However, doubts crawled inside his head. He feared them greatly — he didn't want another love. He would never be able to confess his feelings if they were true. But even if he did reveal them, he would be rejected, just like he previously was. He knew it was all his fault. He could've avoided it, did something else before it was to late. But alas... He failed to see his own misdeeds. He failed to see how much he had hurt the one he claimed to love so much.

Iclyn would never love such a monster. And a true monster he was indeed.

Author's Notes:

Even in the brightest moments, Sirius returns to his issues and how they destroyed his life. At least that is what he thinks.

And what do you think? I would like to hear what you have to say. Maybe a guess? A theory? Really, I always enjoy you talking about the characters and how they might interact in the future. Every little thing, every word matters in this story. Maybe you caught something interesting.

Before it, however, I must confirm — Helen isn't the one Sirius believes he loves.