Pinkamena's Revenge

     Pinkamena Diane Pie cleared her throat, a wry smile on her face.

     "Ha" Pinkie Pie grinned, "nobody here's gonna beat box for you byatch!"

     "As if I need it," the straight haired one scoffed. She clapped her hooves and a drum kit exploded into existence in the middle of the library. She lit a cigarette and sat down, and picked up the sticks. Pinkamena proceeded to drop the fattest beat any of the ponies had ever heard. Fluttershy reappeared as newborn foal and began aging rapidly, went through one of those "phases", then had a midlife crisis but died before she could go out and buy anything ridiculous.

      "Alright Pinkie," she sped up her drum beat in preparation, "prepare to get your face melted."

"So Pinkie wanna thinkie she some kinda superstar

But Pinkamena's got the science here to tell you what you are

Don't try to run don't try to hide bitch cuz you won't get very far

My rhymes are sharper than my cleaver and doper than black tar

See Pink you operate upon a massive misconception

You may have been here first but shit kicked off with my inception

Cupcakes rocked the world when they saw my predilection

for violence blood and gore and the sweet art of dissection

See it's the fans that matter fool and among them I'm a rave

I can stave the grave shit you throw at me because I'm the real fave

I paved the way to the dark cave from which came the grimdark wave

So now it's time to whip your ass like you were my little slave

Compared to me your stupid parties are nothing but frivolity

I've got substance, style, eloquence; It's not quantity it's quality

And your type's a dime a dozen cousin that's just the reality

So back it up and shut it down you can't say shit at all to me

First off that poufy hair is the definition of ridiculous

My mane's the main attraction don't deny that I look sick with this

Your cooking's not even worth my time so I'ma be quick with this

Your cupcakes suck mine are sick as fuck, so well known that they're ubiquitous

Second thing your rhymes are weak as hell I didn't even flinch

I can drop loquacious flows even when I'm in a pinch

I'm so evil on the beat I'll ruin your christmas like the grinch

I own the flow, you little ho, for PDP this shit's a cinch

For third it just occurred to me your attitude's obnoxious

'Party party all the time' man thats absolutely noxious

I revoke your party license so your ass better be cautious

You're so fucking over-hyped it makes me positively nauseous

So Pinky P.

you should give me

this one for free

cuz I'm beatin' you, you cretin, that's how it's always gonna be

like Bruce Lee

I smack you down then collect my fee

crush you like a falling tree

that you didn't see G

ignoring any plea

to stop boiling you like tea

So Pinkie Pie its time to die I'm shutting down your party

You're Like Twi: too late, your sad ass is already fuckin' tardy

You're a punk, a goof, a jest, a fool, a joke, a Laurel and fuckin' Hardy

Gonna chop you up and bake you into cupcakes oh so hearty

Any fame, acclaim, big name you got is not in the least deserved

My popularity keeps growing like an exponential curve

I got more swag, I got more fans, I got a tighter swerve

Gonna make a Pinkie Pie of you, with ice cream you'll be served.

     Pinkamena's drums reverberated throughout the room, the sound of the last crash slowly fading away as Pinkie Pie lay floored on the floor. Pinkamena hadn't even booken a sweat. Pinkie was shivering, every pore on her skin leaking. She'd been slammed. She'd been served. She was wet. In a bad way.