Pinkified!

     “How could I lose,” Pinkie Pie mumbled to herself as she lay on the ground in an almost catatonic state. She'd been served so hard she was dying. “It doesn’t make sense…”

     Doesn’t make sense?

     Doesn’t make sense…

     “It doesn’t have to make any sense at all!” the pink pony shouted in sudden joy, springing up from her prone position with new vigor.

     “What are you talking about?” Pinkamena asked suspiciously.

     “Fluttershy!” Pinkie called. Suddenly she felt nauseous and vomited up a yellow whiffle ball bat which lackadaisically grew to become the yellow pegasus.

     Fluttershy blinked a few times before she realized that she existed again and what she was supposed to do. Then she began boxing an even fatter beat than before.

     “What is this nonsense?!” Pinkamena demanded.

“Exactly,” Pinkie laughed.

“Shut the fuck up cuz I got a rubber chicken

Double barrel buckshot in a fat spastic innertube

I do my taxes with paint and my artwork with Quicken

I’ma fuck this track’s ass so I hope you have lube

Making sense is for pussies and I ain’t no puddy-tat

I shaved my face with some cocaine mace in the dark

I got a mouth like a cannon so I don’t need a gat

You better watch your shit cuz your bite ain’t your bark

Crunk hobgoblins in a laconic dream firestorm

Cut off my left leg with a funky jigsaw puzzle

Bon-bon’d on your face with a human-ass Lyra-form

Callin’ on my crookshank to punch you in the muzzle

I got tattooed in a drive-by with a shifty space needle

I left my balls in a taxicab and now it’s drivin’ me nuts

Weedle weedle weedle TV show reference weedle weedle

You’ll never find my jive cuz it’s chillin in the cuts

I get wet every morning cuz I got a busted waterbed

Banhammer crackin’ with a goat cheese clown car

I’ma kick your Harry ass cuz you nothin’ but a Potterhead

I shoot up black, white, red, and sometimes even brown tar

Beans on toast cuz I’m down with the British food

I’m the real pink you ain’t nothing but magenta fool

What’s with the wide eyes you look a little skittish dude

I’ve got a hotel coupon so I’ma go rent a pool

Mumble fumble rumble stumble at a cash-cow toll booth

Gimme back my stiff drink with a double Limp Bizkit

Pinkie P. bust up your chops and I’m pullin’ out a troll tooth

I got nothing left to lose so I might as well risk it

I don’t believe in ghosts cuz most of them are me

Slap the money in the bucket with a dope tire iron

You’re way too Fluttershy so you might as well squee

My lyrics are insane like poetry by Lord Byron

Forcing cotton candy all the way inside your nose

I see your ‘Cupcakes’ and I raise you ‘A Fun Day’

You better beat it Pinkamena cuz you’re creepin out my bros

There’s no more mayonnaise so here’s a bad segue  

Pinkamena you’re a liverwurst I don’t need to qualify it

Pinkamena can’t rap she got nothin’ so the heck wit ‘er

You got boogled on my crazy I take your ass and nullify it

I don’t have to make sense bitch talk about a non-sequitur!

     Pinkamena Diane Pie’s head exploded violently, covering her counterpart in a fresh coating of blood. Her body hit the floor like a sack of wombats.

Pinkie was wet.

Fin.