Oh my goddess Luna, wherever you happened to be, did they ever stop talking about sex!? As soon as Glitter Bomb started detailing her struggles with finding a ‘boy’ that was ‘her size’, she and Blackjack had launched into a very scientific analysis of the intricate details about the ways ponies could make each other feel good. If I heard the phrase ‘feeling buttery and soft inside’ out of Blackjack one more time, I was going to scream! The subject of sex gave me feelings as well, but none of them could be described as ‘soft’ or ‘buttery’. Gross!

Glitter Bomb sighed as we trotted along the old, rusted railroad tracks. “I’m so glad I wasn’t born a boy. Having something weird between your legs just seems… uncomfortable,” She said, skipping slightly as she tried to delicately balance herself on the rusted track with her dinner plate-sized hooves. I was just thankful the conversation was drifting back to something I could take part in. “What do you think, Fishie?”

“I think you probably get used to anything you’re born with. I’ve experienced being a stallion in a memory orb,” Blackjack explained, stepping evenly along the railroad ties. “It was… honestly, kinda built up too quick and over too fast for my tastes. I like to take my time with a pony. Really work things around, you know?” Sweet Celestia, I hope not!

I laid my ears back as sex reared its foul head. Again. It made me glad that I was starting to trail behind the two of them as they spoke.

Glitter Bomb managed to save my sanity. “Oh! I’m not allowed to use memory orbs. Cally and Dry Clean says they’ll teach me when I’m older, but not yet.”

“Teach?” Blackjack knit her brows. “What’s there to teach? You tap your horn to it and swoosh, off you go.”

“Well, they want me to be respectful of other pony’s privacy.” She explained with a nod.

One of my ears stood straight up. “Don’t… you already do that, Glitter?” I asked, confused as to why a long dead pony’s privacy would be an issue.

Glitter Bomb stopped her prancing along the track, and turned to give me a guilty look. “I may have sort of gone through Dry Clean Only’s things and borrowed her Wingboner magazine at one point or another. Without asking…” Blackjack instantly broke out laughing.

Well, that would do it.

“Which edition? I keep looking for the Spitfire one!” Blackjack blurted between guffaws.

“Um… actually Callie managed to find a Soarin’ edition. And there was this really, really tall stallion as the centrefold,” Glitter swooned. “He was very, very pretty to look at. That was around the time that I found Callie’s special carrot that I’m not supposed to touch because it goes buzz buzz if you touch it wrong.”

Mother Luna, please have mercy on the soul of this poor, overworked heartmender and just let me die…

Blackjack blinked, screwing up her face. “Special carrot? What kind of carrot buzz– oh! A toy! Glory had those too.” Her expression barely faltered, but there was no mistaking the sadness in her eyes. She shook herself and continued. “Well, you probably don’t want to be touching that without permission, considering where it goes.” She looked back at me. “Are you always going to lag behind like that, and just shadow us? Come on! Join the conversation!”

I frowned. I usually hung back. That was kind of my thing. When I went out with my mom back in Junction City, I always hung back a pace. When I was with the older Heartmenders, I hung back a pace more. “I’m not shadowing you,” I countered tartly. “You two were just having your conversation, and I had nothing constructive to add. I know about sex, how it works, and all of the other stuff. It just doesn’t interest me the way it does the two of you.”

The pair exchanged glances, then Glitter’s horn lit up, wrapping me in her shimmering purple magic.

“Ack! Glitter! Put me down!” I squeaked, wiggling in protest as she set me down on her broad back. Seriously! We talked about this! The small pegasus is not for picking up!

“There, now you’re at least with us like a friend should be. You don’t have to talk, just be with us, silly!” She said with a grin. “Now Blackjack, can I ask you-?”

I tuned out the conversation as I rode along on Glitter’s back, opting instead to enjoy the ride and look out across the gradually greening countryside that was the Hoof. Things were slowly changing out there, but Equestria was still crying out in pain. Heartshine said that something would one day come and bring life back to the wasteland. It’d help heal Equus’ hurts. Hurts we ponies inflicted.

Glitter’s laughter brought me back into the moment. The steady waves of genuine, uncomplicated mirth rippling off of her and Blackjack brought a smile to my muzzle. Blackjack was smiling and she actually meant it! And so was Glitter.

“Ponies can be so funny about things like that, can’t they?” Glitter asked.

Blackjack nodded in agreement and kept walking. I frowned at the back of Glitter’s head, then at the side of Blackjack’s head. Wait a second.

Blackjack wasn’t flirting with Glitter! What!? Glitter was super cute, and she was really sweet! And a lovely, curvy, purple mare to boot! I was always a little envious of her exquisitely sculpted rump. If she weren’t so darn tall, she’d probably get quite a few stallions all to herself with that rear and her pretty face.

“Oh! So that’s why mares can still feel good when you take it up the tailhole…” Glitter said pensively in response to whatever she and Blackjack had been talking about. Frankly, I was confused and terrified by it out of context. Though I couldn’t imagine context could do much to salvage that statement.

“Relaxation, lube, relaxation, and more lube. That’s the key.” Blackjack stated with a smile. “I thought it was kinda cool, too! Our teacher, Blissful Heart, always said that the clitoris was kind of like a button with a plastic flap cover. You have to work the cover off to really push it.” She caught my expression of consternation as she discussed the scientific properties of a pony’s most intimate parts with my friend. “What? Sex Ed was the one class you paid attention to in 99. This really, really shouldn’t shock you.” She asked, smirking up at me.

I shook my head. “No, that… actually doesn’t surprise me in the slightest,” I admitted with an anaemic chuckle. “I was more confused because you were actually getting kinda like… scientific and biological about it.”

Glitter craned her head back and looked at me. “Well, isn’t that part of being a pony interesting to you? I mean, bodies are really cool and fascinating, and I’ve been having a lot of fun helping Caledonia out in her clinic. She’s always been really awkward to talk to about stuff like why things work like they do when you’re doing stuff like sex,” She explained, giggling. “So it’s nice to have somepony older than me actually just talk about it!”

“If you’re comfortable with it, Glitter, I could just show you. If you want,” Blackjack said casually as she smiled up at the larger mare.

Oh Luna. No. No no no no no! Not while I’m sitting on her back! I took back all of my thoughts about Blackjack not hitting on Glitter. I didn’t like this. Blackjack may only be 21 years old, sort of, but Glitter Bomb was closer to my age of 14! That’s… quite an age gap, even discounting Blackjack’s considerable edge in… experience.

“Does it feel really that good? Cause like, I read books all the time about what it’s like to be… aroused? But I don’t think I know what that feels like. That might be fun!” My friend explained, dooming herself to a world of messy, confusing feelings in the process.

“If you’re with the right pony and you’re ready for it, it usually feels really good. Kinda strange. A little scary. A bit fun.” Her smile then disappeared, looking up at Glitter and saying seriously, “If you’re with the wrong pony, it can really, really hurt you though. You’re really vulnerable during sex, and the worst kinds of pony like hurting a mare with sex.”

Um, Blackjack? You hurt stallions with sex in 99. That’s… kind of fucked up that you’re only thinking of the damage to mares! I thought as I listened to her, feeling my stomach knot up with anxiety. I hadn’t liked the sex conversation before. Now I was liking it even less.

“That’s what magic bullet spells are for.” The smile returned, a little less eager, “Not to put you off, of course. Just, only you can decide where and when and who you want to do it with.” Then she grinned, “But in my personal opinion, it feels great.”

Okay. No. I was wrong. She was hitting on Glitter. But… BJ was making progress. Could I step in without screwing that up? I didn’t want to see Glitter hurt…

“Are you the right kind of pony, Fishie?” Glitter asked, cocking her head to the side.

Blackjack just motioned for her to come closer, and when Glitter lowered her head down, she leaned up and gave Glitter a soft kiss. “When it comes to sex, I’m best pony.” She then glanced at me, adding, “Now if you’re talking about love... better talk to Thren, or anypony else.”

Glitter may or may not have been listening to Blackjack, as she appeared to be frozen with her lips slightly pursed. She slowly lifted her forehoof to her lips, then frowned. “That… was sex?” She asked innocently. In spite of my own discomfort with a situation that was rapidly evolving before me, I did my best to not fall off her back laughing.

Blackjack laughed too. “That was the first page of a great big book called sex. I can read the rest to you later, if you like.”

My hoof met my face repeatedly as Glitter replied. “Well… I kinda like page one so far. I’ve never read page one! What’s page two?”

“Glitter, did you miss the part about love in that?” I asked, seizing my moment to interject some semblance of common sense into the conversation. “Though I don’t know why Bl- Go Fish thinks I’m an expert at love.” Okay, seriously, this was too weird. Clearly Glitter wasn’t really up for sex. Why the hell wasn’t Blackjack seeing this?

“Love isn’t sex. Sex isn’t love. You can love someone and never have sex with them, and you can have sex without loving a person,” her smile faded a bit. “I hurt a mare who always treated them as one and the same. It could have been avoided,” she murmured and then shook her head. “Anyway, love is something a lot more special than sex. Sex is feeling good. Love is... a whole lot bigger and deeper than just sex, and a heartmender would probably know more than I would.” Then she looked at Glitter Bomb and grinned. “Want to go back to Star House and read page two? We can go back into town later.”

I stared down at Blackjack as she tried to persuade my friend into bed. I didn’t like it. I knew that Glitter was curious, and her virginity wasn’t something she particularly valued, but it still bothered me just how… predatory Blackjack could be when it came to sex. The little kiss. The light teasing. Glitter was mentally my age! What the hell, Blackjack!?

Glitter smiled down at Blackjack. “I think I could go for reading page two! Maybe even three!” She paused thoughtfully. “But maybe not four just yet. That’s… kind of a lot of words to read. And I’m lazy when it comes to reading.” She admitted.

Glitter. Why!?

Blackjack then looked back at me, eyes narrowed with wicked amusement. “Want to join us, Threnody? Supervise? Make sure nothing bad happens?” Oh now there was some spicy cattiness coming off her. She was enjoying seeing me squirm like this!

I swallowed slowly as I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. I had to respond carefully. Somehow I felt that ‘bitch, you’re already trying to fuck my best friend, don’t think I work like that, you dumb ho!’ wasn't the best response. Certainly not the most professional sounding. And such language in front of Glitter!

“I don’t do supervision. If… Glitter thinks it’s a good idea, then I guess she’s old enough to make that choice for herself.” I replied, knowing my eyes had flicked to sharpened jade at the catty undertones in Blackjack’s mood. Do not try me, Blackjack. I already said no.

Glitter appeared to be blissfully ignorant of the subtext of our mutual exchange. “Well, that just means more pages for me!” The alicorn started skipping slightly, making it a challenge for me to stay on her back.

I started to flutter, and glared at the two of them. Blackjack was all aglow with spicy cattiness and sultry, sweet desire. Glitter, on the other hoof, was the bright, lightness that is curiosity and excitement. … And if I admitted it to myself, I found myself feeling the rather weighty and ugly feeling of fear for Glitter’s excitement.

I darted off about a couple hundred feet, landing on a bridge that the old railroad crossed. Huffing, I stamped my forehoof. “Blackjack! What you’re doing is wrong!” I muttered to myself. “Why are you trying to take advantage of my friend!? Sure, she’s sweet and kind, but she’s… so much less mature than you!”

She looked my way and disappeared in a flash. Oh Shit. A moment later, I heard her words in my ear, “What’s your problem, Threnody?” The words... she hadn’t used words like that to me before. Low. Sharp. And the feeling of hot, molten anger bubbled out of her. “You don’t want to do it. Fine. You want to tell me its wrong, then we’re going to have a fight about it. You want that?” she hissed softly.

I glanced down the tracks as Glitter looked around for Blackjack, then started trotting toward us, and I faced Blackjack, trying to let my icy anger harden her molten emotions. “Fine. I am saying it’s wrong. I said no, so you hit on my friend. How is that fair? That’s… that’s almost downright predatory, Blackjack!” I said slowly and evenly.

“You said no. She said yes. Where the hell do you get off telling her that what she wants is wrong? Do you think I’m looking to hurt her? That I want to do to her what was done to me? Sex is one of the few honest to goodness good things left in the world, so why am I suddenly wrong for wanting to make her first experience a good one?”

I stamped a hoof and snorted. I didn’t understand. I knew Blackjack had some weird morals when it came to sex and sexuality, but I didn’t understand. So I said so.

“I don’t get it! I don’t get why or how you are able to be so detached from the emotions of sex! It makes no sense!” I blurted. “You sit there and justify the fact that you want her first time to be good, but you sort of overlook the fact that she’s so much mentally younger than you! And you have absolutely no problem trying to hit on me, who is also younger than you!” I argued. “So why are you so detached from the idea that maybe the age difference is bigger than you think?!”

“I’m detached? Sex is passion and feeling and sweat and making another person feel joy. I love those moments where I can actually make another person feel good instead of miserable. Is that fucking wrong, Threnody?” she challenged. “Again, do you think I’m planning on hurting her?”

I pursed my lips, and stood up as tall as I could. “I… I don’t know that, and it scares me! I don’t want to see her hurt!” I danced around the issue. Please leave it at that. Please. Please.

She repeated, her voice low. “Do you think I am planning on hurting her?”

“I-”

“Threnody! Look out!” Glitter shouted.

Blackjack and I looked down the tracks at my friend, and in an instant, something long, sharp, and extremely painful embedded itself in the right side of my barrel, just ahead of my hind leg. I screamed as whatever it was dragged me off of the bridge, a burning sensation pulsing into my side. I tried to fly, which managed to dislodge me from whatever had hit me, and I awkwardly cartwheeled through the air and slammed into the dirt canyon below the tracks.

My reunion with the ground hurt only a little less than the excruciating numbness spreading through my belly. I tried to struggle to my hooves and… I couldn’t move. Oh goddesses, I couldn’t move! Ahead of me, a massive albino radscorpion chittered and turned as Blackjack and Glitter leapt into action. Panic set in as I tried to move my limbs, watching helplessly as the pair struck back.

Blackjack teleported right onto the giant scorpion’s back, shouting, “Get her to safety, Glitter Bomb!” Her compact horn lit up as she conjured a blade of pure magic, and used it to slice off the scorpion’s stinger. Then, before she could be thrown off, she teleported once again at the end of the bridge. She dispelled the blade, and lit her horn again, this time sending out a barrage of magical bolts that streaked through the air, impacting the scorpion’s front and bursting a few of its beady red eyes.

Glitter flew down as Blackjack distracted the monster, and lifted me with her magic. I couldn’t even speak to tell her I was paralysed. I really, really wished I’d had the ability to avert my gaze from my impact site as Glitter picked me up. The alarming quantity of red on the ground was massively disturbing my calm. “Fishie, let’s go!” Glitter shouted at Blackjack as the scorpion shrieked in pain.

Blackjack didn’t seem to respond. She didn’t have any weapons or barding, nor did she need them. She was a mare of raw arcane savagery and bloodlust, continuing to use her magic to tear at the scorpion. When it was close, her magic summoned that brilliant blade again, sweeping it through the outstretched claw before flashing away again. Her sole focus the annihilation of her enemy.

I’d never felt so useless in my life. Here I was, bleeding and paralyzed, and being saved by my client. My duster had done nothing to stop the scorpion’s tail, and as Glitter held me in her magic, all I could do was watch as Blackjack carved the scorpion to ribbons. All I could do was just lie there and bleed.

In less than a minute, the albino scorpion seemed to realize that it had picked a fight with prey bent on breaking some fundamental laws of physics. It tried to get away, but now Blackjack went on the offensive. She raced up behind it, slicing off more of its tail. Then a pair of left legs. Then right. And as she fought, I felt it... even from this distance:

Pleasure. Almost identical to what she felt when having marathon sex with Slate. She didn’t finish until the scorpion was a twitching pile of meat. Breathing hard, smoke rising from her horn, she looked up at Glitter Bomb and I, and I remembered what Sandalwood had told me. ‘She’s one of the deadliest mares alive.’ Now I was seeing it for myself. The Reaper that Sandalwood feared so much.

“Glitter Bomb, she’s poisoned and bleeding. She needs to go to the Collegiate right now! Or at least the medic in Chapel. Can you teleport her?” she asked, grinning despite the gravity of my wounds. That spicy cattiness was back as she stared at me. Like she wanted me to know that she’d just saved my life, and that she did so despite me thinking she was wrong for trying to seduce my friend.

Glitter must have nodded. I think she nodded. My memory got fuzzy right around the point that purple magic wrapped around Blackjack, and I got busy trying not to die.

I gasped awake sometime later, and immediately regretted the impulse to sit up. My entire right side was on fire, and I could feel soft cotton bandages wrapped around my barrel. Shit. Where was I?

Acrid smoke met my nostrils. Oh Luna I’m in Tartarus. “You shouldn’t move too much,” the devil rasped, as I stared at a cracked white wall. “Radscorpion venom’s a potent anticoagulant. Mucks with healing magic like mad.” A pause and the devil asked, “In much pain? I’ve got Med-X.”

I groaned softly. “I… feel like Big Mac just had a marathon tap-dancing session on my ovaries,” I admitted. “But… I don’t like the feeling of Med-X. I… got… something lighter?” I asked, resolving to lay there and speak with the dark lady of hell. She seemed rather nice, offering drugs already.

“Alcohol, but you’re a bit young for the hard stuff. Then again, maybe you’re not,” and the mistress of thes underworld walked into view... and disappointed my expectations. A gray unicorn mare with a messy, dirty blond mane in a doctor’s coat. A cigarette was held between her lips as she walked over to a cabinet and extracted a small bottle. “Wait... ahah! Good. Willowbark extract.” She scooped out a little pile of white powder, put it in a bottle of water, and shaking it vigorously. Tired blue eyes considered me. “So you’re the newest nutcracker they’ve brought in to deal with Blackjack? Heard you were young.”

“I’m fourteen,” I said, my eyes on the water bottle for the moment, hoping it held some relief for the burning pain in my side. Ah crap. Someone else that’ll see nothing but a kid in front of them. I really needed to stop telling ponies my age… “But, yeah, I’m… well, the new filly I guess.” I said with a sigh, trying to experimentally raise my right wing and being rewarded with a blaze of fresh pain. Okay. Nope. Not doing that.

“Not so young then. The way she talked, I thought you were six. Figured they brought in someone that was Blackjack’s mental equal.” She levitated the bottle to my lips. Whatever was in it was dreadfully bitter. “How many people did she kill this time?” Triage asked as that cigarette burned.

I swallowed the bitter drink slowly, then looked up at the doctor. “Nopony. She… just killed a radscorpion. Me getting hurt was a complete accident. I didn’t know I’d landed on it’s home.”

“Well, that’s refreshing. I was afraid she’d gone on one of her walks again, looking for trouble. With her range, you never know when she’s going to disappear, or who she’s going to kill. She always limps back though,” she said, taking the bottle from me and putting it in the sink, rinsing it out.

I tried to put a few things together. “Glitter brought me to the Collegiate, right? You’re Doctor Triage then,” I said, trying to get my bearings a little. “Um…” I looked down at my bandaged side, panic rising in me. I didn’t like the spot I’d been hit. That… “I know my side is a mess and my insides are probably worse, because of the venom. But… did…” I couldn’t ask.

“Relax. You’ll fly. Again. If you’d been on your own, you would have been lunch for sure. Luckily you were in the company of the most dangerous lunatic I’ve ever known.” She took a pull on her cigarette, blasting the smoke out of her nostrils. “She’s waiting nearby. I told her you'd be fine. Just need a few days recovery and some steady healing magic.”

I frowned as Triage answered the obvious question, but not the one I was asking. “Um… and… my insides? I got hit really close to my… my important filly bits if I ever wanted to have foals.” I didn’t care Blackjack was nearby. She just reminded me that I did a stupid and got myself hurt.

“You should be a medical doctor, kid. Your uterus is fine. So’s your bladder, kidneys, ovaries, intestine, and colon.” She paused to take another drag and sighed, “The places I get to stick my horn...” she muttered.

I blushed. The thought of somepony’s horn inside of me just felt wrong. Especially if it went inside from my side. Unless she went in… other ways. I shuddered. Nope. Not going there.

“I’m sorry to have caused trouble. I… just… I wanted to understand her better, you know? But I don’t. And… I thought for a minute I did.” I admitted, looking down at the floor. “Now I’m not so sure.”

Triage regarded me a moment before she trotted over to an old cushion against the wall and took a seat. “You know about Discord?” she asked, holding the cigarette in her magic.

I shook my head. “Well, sorta? I read a lot of books in my mom’s library about how he was an evil force that made the world all weird, but that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna banished him.” I groaned slightly as my head shaking made my side hurt. Was there anything I could do that didn’t make it hurt?

She nodded once. “Blackjack is like Discord,” she stated somberly.

Glitter would be so disappointed that Blackjack couldn’t make chocolate rain. “I… I see. Mercurial. Byronic. Weird. And sort of like trying to tie down a tornado?” I asked.

“The last part, most of all,” she said as she nodded slowly. “Blackjack’s like a force of nature. She doesn’t really have concrete reasons for things. She doesn’t consider. She doesn’t think. She just does. And whatever has the misfortune of getting in her way finds out the hard way that she will annihilate all opposition.” She took a slow drag. “She scares me to fucking death,” she said as she looked at the door, out. “You can’t imagine the bowel-loosening panic of hearing her cloned body had woken up and was trotting around the hoof again. It’s like knowing there’s a balefire bomb started ticking somewhere in the city, and you don’t know when it’s going to go off.”

I frowned. “Is she really all that scary?” I asked, thinking back to our recent argument. Blackjack was intimidating, sure. And her physical prowess was incredible. But she’d never frightened me. “She’s given me that… that shooty look? The one where it says I sort of want you to die so shut up. But, we kept talking.”

“If you don’t think she is, you’re in the distinct minority,” she said quietly. “She nearly killed me when we first met. Her legs were crippled, and she threatened to kill us all with a spork. Not with her magic. That was burned out. And we didn’t take her seriously. Honestly, I thought she was insane.” She reached up and touched her throat. “Before I knew it, she had me grabbed, and that tiny little horn pressed right against my carotid artery. She could have killed me in seconds, even if it cost her her own life. That was when I realized she was the scariest damned mare I’d ever met, and I’ve worked on and with some bona fide psychos.”

I tried to imagine Blackjack as the scariest mare in the world. But I couldn’t. Not when I knew just who the scariest mare in the world really was. I shuddered. “But… there’s something in her. I mean, Heartshine and the Heartmenders wouldn’t keep trying to rehabilitate her if there wasn’t, right?”

She just regarded me a moment. “There’s something you’re missing, kid. Blackjack doesn’t give up, once she gets going. If she thinks there’s something she has to do, she does it. It doesn’t matter what you throw in her way, she pushes through. It doesn’t matter how you argue, she just doubles down on winning. If she wanted to take out the Collegiate, she could. Or the rest of the Enclave rebels. Or, hell, the Lightbringer in the SPP.” She took a sober drag of her cigarette. “And the absolute most dangerous thing is to try and kill her. She’ll whine and sob about killing a helpless raider, but try and kill her. Hellhounds with hemorrhoids are safer.”

Maybe everything was over my head. I wanted to bring her hope. I wanted to help her heal, and deal with the trauma. I looked at the uncovered cutie mark on my flank, the open book and quill writing down the lament of somepony’s life, and shook my head. “I don’t want to kill her. I want to show her that not everything has to be a fight! That sometimes it’s okay to give up because you’ve done your best! To slow down.” I tried to move, then my side flared in pain again and I lay still. “I can’t even defend myself. I’m pretty much useless.”

Triage just shrugged. “So quit. Blackjack doesn’t have to be your responsibility, kid. Just be thankful she hasn’t tried to get you in bed, yet.” I couldn’t hide the humiliation I felt, and she grunted, covering her face with a growl. “I swear, I’d spay her if I thought it would do anything for her goddess damned libido!”

Wait. “Um… did… she uh, disappear with the alicorn that brought us in? She was actively trying to seduce my friend when we started fighting. I… never gave in. That’s gross and weird. But Glitter, she’s… well, older and yet younger than me. Kinda. She really probably shouldn’t be around Blackjack unsupervised.” I explained, fluttering my wing as I fretted about the fate of my friend’s virtue.

“Relax. Blackjack’s a slut but she’s not knocking hooves in my office.” Then Triage gave the wall a shooty look of her very own. “Or she better not.” She relaxed a little, then looked back at me. “Your friend and she are just waiting. They insisted, actually. They were talking sex-ed last I checked on them.”

I blinked. “How long was I out? And they’re STILL talking about it!?” I mentally frowned as my voice cracked at my question.

“Two hours. And yeah. Your friend is at that curious stage, and for all her faults, Blackjack’s a sexually ethical pony. Perverted like hell, but ethical. She’s not going to do something inappropriate just because she wants to get laid.”

“Then why the hell is she trying to get under my tail?!” I asked for what had to be the third time to the third pony in three days.

Triage furrowed her brows. “She’s tried to force you to have sex after you told her no?”

I shook my head. She’d never forced me. “No. Just…” I sighed. “She got really, really uncomfortably close to me. And it felt wrong. Between that and her always asking why I didn’t want it.”

“So tell her why,” Triage said in her bored drawl as she snuffed out the cigarette. “You’ve obviously got a reason kid. Though yeah, you’re right, telling her no should suffice, but with her, it don’t mean she won’t stop asking. So what would it hurt to tell your story?”

I froze, feeling my eyes widening. I stared at Triage for a long moment. If I didn’t move, she would go away, and stop asking me questions like that.

Triage gazed at me for almost a minute before she gave another grunt, “If you don’t tell her why, she’s going to assume, and I know that she’ll assume it’s because you’re shy or something. She’s got the most selective sensitivity I’ve met in a mare. Tell her somepony sexually assaulted you and she’ll stop. Heck, she’ll probably track the bastard down and butcher him for you. And his friends too... unless he’s got a really good sob story prepared.”

“No stallion ever hurt me!” I snapped, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. “Nothing like that ever happened to me!” I lied, hoping she’d believe me. No. Blackjack couldn’t. She… that’d be bad. Really bad. That’d make everything worse for me. For Blackjack. She’d kill Blackjack! And besides, nothing happened, right? Just believe the little pegasus filly.

Another long gaze. “Kid, hate to tell you, but you’re a really lousy liar,” she finished and rose. “Still, none of my business. Tell her. Don’t tell her. Just don’t think that she’ll stop until you do.” She headed for the door. “You should rest here for the night. Once the toxins metabolize, healing potions should patch you up. Any questions?”

I shook my head, then curled up tight on the hospital bed. “No. Thank you.” I said meekly, wrapping my wings around my body. “I’ll just rest like you said.”

“I’ll tell them you can’t have visitors. Doctor’s orders,” she said and then opened the door. Before the door closed, however, she heard Triage suddenly snap, “No visitors, damn it. She’s recovering!” I imagined a hurt Glitter Bomb and sulky Blackjack.

My blood congealed just fine when I heard Cinnamon’s voice in the hall, “I just wanted to check in on the dear! I can’t imagine why you waited so long to inform us that one of our heartmenders nearly died in Blackjack’s company!”

No! Not now. Please no! I desperately tried to raise what little emotional defenses I could. I didn’t want to see her. It wasn’t Blackjack’s fault!

“I prioritized saving her life over sending a letter. Like I said, she’s recovering. Radscorpion ambushed them and she got stuck. If it hadn’t been for Blackjack, she’d be dead,” Triage said, and a part of me cheered the cantankerous old mare.

Cinnamon’s voice lost a little sugar. “Why, how can you say that? If it weren’t for Blackjack, little Threnody would be doing good work with the Society.” There was a pause and Cinnamon’s throaty chuckle. “Well, since I can’t talk to her, maybe you can tell me if there’s been any changes to Blackjack since she ‘woke up’? Little alterations in her behaviour. Her aggressiveness? Lecherousness?”

Triage didn’t take the bait. “So far she hasn’t show any decompensation of her psyche. Her body’s stable. She tries to rut everything that moves, but that’s not so big a change.”

“But there are changes,” Cinnamon pressed.

Triage let out a sigh. “Her magic’s definitely more than it was before everything blew up. I know she’s descended from Twilight Sparkle, and she’s got Discord’s blood, and she’s been exposed to who knows what on the moon. I expect it’s not going to abate any time soon.”

“Oh, dear, I didn’t know she was unstable!” Cinnamon said with a little gasp. “How horrible.”

“I didn’t say that!” Triage challenged.

“Oh, I think you did, doctor,” she countered in that soft, sweet voice. “Well, it’s good that Threnody was treated so promptly. I’d hate to think what we’d have to do if Blackjack got one of our members killed.” The saccharine sweetness of her voice suddenly laced itself with rat poison. “It would be most unfortunate indeed.”

Blackjack didn’t do anything to me! I screamed internally, but I couldn’t make the words come out of my mouth. My tongue was coated lead, and nothing would roll off it in defense of my client. I heard her hooves trotting away before Triage muttered, “Cunt,” and then closed the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I stayed curled up for several minutes, just focusing on my breathing. Following my breath was an exercise Willow Glen had taught me to help me calm down. She said that sometimes it was helpful just to get your mind off of things.

But my mind didn’t want to get off of things. It wanted to think about why Cinnamon hated Blackjack so much. I could see the reverse, but Cinnamon’s dislike for the mare was starting to feel like it was personal. My mind wanted to know if I was doing the right thing. My mind wanted to chastise me for being so weak and stupid and getting myself hurt.

Worst of all, it refused to stop thinking about the lie that Triage wouldn’t buy from me.

I didn’t understand. Everything felt so… normal just a few days ago. Now everything felt huge and out of reach. And that was extremely frustrating because I was already small for my size. I looked across the room at a floor length mirror, and sighed as I looked at my small, frail body. When did my spine start being so pronounced? Why did I look so tiny all of a sudden?

I didn’t know how long it was before the door cracked open. I closed my eyes, dreading who it might be, but I was shocked to behold a familiar earth pony mare when I rolled over and looked to see who it was. Her sea-foam green hide was covered with bandages, and when I’d seen her last, her mane had been almost to her knees. Now it nearly reached the floor. Still, I remembered that dark, concerned green eye peering at me in the dim light of the hospital room. “Howdy,” she said, her voice low. “How you doin’? I reckon I ain’t supposed to be visitin’ ya, but I couldn’t resist.”

I rolled over as best I could, and offered her a smile. “I’ve… been better, Willow Glen,” I admitted honestly. “I would not recommend a radscorpion as an acupuncturist.”

She slumped, smiling in relief. “So Blackjack didn’t do that to ya? Thank the Goddesses. I was afraid you’d gotten her feedback too.” She gestured at the bandage across her face. “Been, what, three weeks? Still ain’t fixed. I can feel her all the time, still. You?”

I shook my head. “I… maybe if I tried?” I admitted, but I hadn’t been trying to feel anypony at the moment. I was working on just not falling apart. “I’m sorry for what happened to you, Willow. When I heard you’d burned out, I got really, really worried! You were the only one who really… well, treated me like I might be something when you found me in Junction City.” I said, closing my eyes.

“Shucks. Twern’t nothin,” she said with a little smile. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t stick it out. I tried. I thought Blackjack was gonna buck herself right out of that pit she wallows in.” Smile disappeared. “Didn’t take. She nearly blew her brains out in front of me. So much dang guilt and anguish, it tore me open. Then she was guilty about that... darn near killed me before Slate got her away.”

I let my ears droop. So that was what had happened. “Nopony told me what happened, Willow. That’s… I can’t imagine how painful it was to take that much guilt from her.

“So Cinnamon didn’t give you my notes? Typical,” she snorted. “Probably ‘accidentally’ dropped em in a fire.” Her scorn abated. “How she been?”

“She… she got really upset when she met my friend Glitter Bomb, but… she actually had a good cry about it. She and Glitter and I all did when she talked about how much she missed her friend Lacunae, and how sorry she was that Glitter couldn’t remember her mom.” I sniffled. “We… we were going to get snack cakes before we started arguing and I got attacked and…” I trailed off.

She reached out and gently patted me. I relaxed a little bit under Willow’s familiar touch. She was one of the few ponies I felt safe touching me.

“Little bird, you actually talked with her about Lacunae. That’s... That’s durn amazin’ is what it is. None of us have gotten a decent talk about her friends. They’re like balefire bombs. I set one off asking about Glory. Straight into meltdown city,” she said with a shake of her head. “But you actually talked about Lacunae. That’s right impressive, Little Bird.”

I smiled up at Willow, basking a little bit in her approval. Willow always had approved of me. She was the first pony to give me a nickname that wasn’t ‘get over here.’ “It… I had help,” I admitted. “Because Glitter helped some just by being there. But she did talk about her. Though…” I sighed, my ears drooping. “I can see why Glory might’ve set her off. I’ve been in Glory’s room. You can just… feel the pain and regret there.”

“I didn’t even get that far, Little Bird. I tried, and she caught me, and the look. Like I’d just pissed on her momma’s grave,” she said with a shake of her head. “Even when we were rutting in her bed, I still didn’t get close enough to–” she paused at my flinch. “Ah. Blackjack being Blackjack?” she asked gently.

I nodded. “A little bit. She was hitting on me. I told her no. She asked why. I just sorta stared at her and said no. Then she hit on Glitter.” I frowned. “Which… I mean, it’s up to Glitter to make her own choices, but… It’d make me feel better if it was somepony who was her peer. Which Blackjack decidedly isn’t.” I shuddered as Willow’s words on her relationship with Blackjack sunk din. “Seriously? You too? Who hasn’t she rutted in the Heartmenders?! She’d probably do Heartshine if Heartshine weren’t so scared of her!”

The bandaged mare patted my shoulder again. “She would. She’d do everything she could to give Heartshine the best ruttin’ she’s ever gotten.”

“Willow, I don’t wanna think about that…” I begged, then groaned. “I’m thinking about it.” Did this count as brain damage?

Willow chuckled. “Point you’re missin’ is Blackjack’s a mess, but one thing she wants is for people to be happy. Sex makes her happy. So she figgers if someone ain’t happy with sex, well they just ain’t had good sex yet. Good sex makes the hurt from the bad sex go away.” She rubbed her shoulder. “And yeah, we were close. Too damned close. I loved her. Wanted so bad to fix her. Make her love me. All blew up in my face, cause I thought sex and love were the same damned thing.” She said with a sigh.

I reached over and lay a wing across Willow’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Willow,” I said softly. “I know that must have hurt something awful. I… I never knew you were into mares.”

“Mares. Stallions. I’m not that picky. Different bits, but same goal,” she said with a shrug. “My mistake was I fell in love with her. She’s a twigged mare, for certain, but she feels so much that I got sucked in. She still loves Glory. And P-21. It’s the core of her pain. I thought I could be Glory’s replacement for her. Make her love me. Take away her pain,” she said and sighed. “I’m pretty sure I’d rip open again like a burlap sack if we were in the same room for two minutes.” She sighed and gave a half smile. “Is she causin’ ya trouble? I reckon she’s trying to get under yer tail too.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle or brush off,” I said, before quickly launching myself at Willow. My side protested horribly, and I nearly blacked out as I wrapped my hooves around her neck. “I’m so sorry she left you heartbroken, Willow!”

She carefully hugged me back. “Me too. Thought I could be the one. I wasn’t. More the fool me,” she said, patting me gently. “So. Since I reckon Cinnamon ‘lost’ my reports on her, got any questions?”

I paused, thinking a moment. “Really all I have on her is the assessment she did like… forever ago, but…” I frowned at the really, really uncomfortable question for me. “Is… Blackjack somepony who would hurt fillies? Like, little fillies?” I asked, leaning back onto the bed and curling my tail around my hindquarters.

“You mean in general or... you mean molestin’?” she asked as she furrowed her brow.

I bit my lip. “Th-the latter?” I asked. “Cause she… always goes after me. And she was okay with trying to have sex with Glitter, who’s like, emotionally my age.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Rather, she’s no pony that goes after foals and the like because they’re foals. When she was a filly, she was taught sex by a grown up mare. Now she is a grown mare. For her, I reckon she sees herself doin’ the same thing. Teaching. Sex is good, fer Blackjack. Good sex feels good and leaves everypony happy. Age don’t factor into it. Heck, I don’t reckon anything factors into it.” She sighed and patted my head. “If she’s trying, I reckon she figures good sex’ll make you happy. It’s an idjit thing to think. She’s just so durn stubborn. Thinks ‘no’ means ‘not yet’.” She huffed.

I smirked wryly. “‘No means yes and buzz off means take me I’m yours?’” I asked, quoting a book I’d read.

She chuckled. “Naw. Not quite. More like...” she screwed up her face. “More like... no, because. You need to give her a reason why it’s no and it’ll always be no. Like Trill... she made it plain she wasn’t interested in experimentin’. That wasn’t good enough for Blackjack, though. I think Trill would have had to do it, then tell her it did nothin. Course, I reckon that woulda set off Blackjack too. So she had to leave.” She paused. “I could try and talk ta Blackjack... if you want. Get her to stop sniffin yer tail.”

I realised that this was my opening to talk to somepony about what Triage had said. I wriggled my tongue around in my mouth, trying to get the heavy weight that settled upon it when I tried to speak. “Triage says I should tell her why I don’t want it.” I admitted after an awkward pause.

“If you don’t, she’ll keep tryin’ till she’s clear it’s bad sex. Just gotta be careful not to set her off to do something crazy. She’s damned terrifyin’ when she’s crazy.” she chuckled. “You know she tried to teleport herself to the moon? Got all dressed up in a space suit, and popped herself a couple of miles up. Came down and broke half the bones in that weird body of hers. Damnedest thing I ever saw.”

“But why does everything have to be sex!? Why!? Can’t we just talk like normal ponies? What if I tell the truth and she thinks it’s bad?” I blurted out, my wings twitching as I worried.

She chuckled. “It’s her favorite thing. She loves having it. Loves doing it. Not for herself, but being with another pony... making them feel good... I think that’s it.” She shook her head. “And you can’t talk like normal ponies because she ain’t normal. She’s twigged and crazy. If she were normal, she wouldn’t need us to put her head back together again.”

“But I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, sulking. My sulking hurt my side, which made me lay back on the bed again. Somewhere in the hospital, I pictured Triage shaking her head at me.

“I know, Little Bird. But it’s Blackjack. Even if she knows it’s rude, she’ll talk about it. Like I said, she’s the most damned selective sensitive person I know. She’ll just say things without thinking, then hate herself for being so insensitive. It’s twigged,” she said with a gentle smile.

I sighed. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want this. “Am I even good for her, Willow?” I asked, searching her green eyes for the answer.

“I know you are, Little Bird,” she said as she stroked my mane. “You’ve done better than any of us have, but is she good for you, Little Bird? That’s what you have to answer. Because if you break, like I did, I’m pretty sure it’ll kill her.”

That scared me more than anything. “Willow, I don’t want her to die. I know that… I know the stallion that killed himself under my care wasn’t my fault. I did my best and… and…” I started to cry just talking about it. “And he just did it anyway! Right in front of me like it was nothing! But… she doesn’t deserve that! Nopony does!”

She reached out with both her hooves, holding me close as she nuzzled the top of my head. “Little Bird... it’s okay... he’s not her... and she doesn’t, no matter how sour Cinnamon is about her. You just have to take care of you. Little Bird.”

I sniffled. “But I’m kind of bad at that!” I said with a half laugh, half sob. “Me taking care of me involves curling up with a good book and several boxes of snack cakes.” She chuckled and held me till I’d stabilized a bit more. Then I asked, “But what about her and my friend. She’s not older than me. Mentally. But Blackjack’s being all sex crazed and...”

“If it were someone else, a colt her age, would you be okay?” she asked.

“Well, duh! Then she’d shut up about it because she probably found a colt her age that was her height! That’s all she’s been on about the last few weeks!” I said with a giggle as I nuzzled my muzzle into her chest.

“And if that colt was a year older? Or two? Or three?” she asked. “When is it not okay?”

I frowned. “Well… I mean, if he was like. Fifty. That’d be kinda gross. Or like, Heartshine’s age.” Oh goddess Luna do no think about jerky di-oh dammit I’m thinking about it.

“Well, Blackjack’s younger than that. Didn’t you read Cinnamon’s assessment? That was three years ago, but she’s only about 21 now.” she explained gently. “Blackjack won’t hurt her, so long as she doesn’t fall in love with her. That’s when things get tough.”

I thought about it a moment. Glitter didn’t really understand love. Not really. “Well… I guess if it’s just… sex…” I shuddered, not liking to say anything that might upset Willow. A big part of me hated the idea of my friend sleeping with Blackjack, but I didn’t want to hurt Willow’s feelings by telling her that I thought that the love of her life had the sexual mores that you’d expect from Stable 99. That is to say, she didn’t think about how damaging sex could be to a pony.

“I guess it’s… okay?” I conceded, more for her benefit than mine. “I may not like it, but ultimately that’s Glitter’s choice anyway. I wouldn’t make that choice, but she’s not me.”

“Then you okay, Little Bird?” she asked with a little smile.

I nodded. “Yeah. I’ll be okay.” I didn’t really believe I would be okay on this topic for a while, but it was better than telling the truth. I looked up at her and cocked an ear to the side. “Will you be okay, Willow?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Oh, don’t you worry about me. Earth Ponies are tough. I’ll see you back at the Fluttershy Medical Center any day now. You’ll see.” Willow said, letting me go and slipping off the bed to all four hooves.

I smiled at her as she got up to go. “Good. I’ll be there whenever Sandalwood sends me with her status reports.” I frowned a moment. “Wait, why is Cinnamon always asking around if we send reports to Heartshine? Shouldn’t she just be getting those automatically?”

Willow shook her head. “There’s-” She paused, then shook her head again. “Don’t worry about it, Little Bird. Just get better. And help Blackjack get better.” She said, slipping quietly out of my room with a grin. “And don’t tell Triage I left my bed!” And with a wink, she was out the door.

Willow’s secret was safe with me as I finally drifted off to sleep.

I awoke from a rather fitful sleep to somepony lightly stroking my head. I didn’t know who it was, but I flailed about, whacking something and straining my side yet again.

“Whoa… whoa there, Threnody! It’s me!” Slate’s familiar voice calmed me down a little. “I’m sorry. You were having a nightmare, and I didn’t know how to get you out of it. I was trying to be comforting.” He explained, rubbing his forehoof where I’d evidently struck him.

My heart beat against the confines of my chest. “I’m so sorry!” I squeaked as I curled up, then wincing in pain. Crap. My side really hurt like hell.

Slate gently rested his hoof on my head again. “Shh… shh. It’s fine. I startled you, and I should have known better than to shake you out of something frightening like that. Especially when you’ve already got an aversion to touch.” He admitted.

I relaxed as he lightly petted my mane. I was okay. Slate was safe. Slate wouldn’t hurt me. “How long was I out?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

Slate frowned down at me. “About 16 hours. Triage had to IV the healing potions into you cause we couldn’t get you to come to.” His eyes became serious. “We had to move some of the other patients farther away from you while you had your nightmares. Apparently they were starting to feel… uneasy without any explanation.”

My ears drooped and tried to curl up on the bed. I hoped that nopony had gotten too upset!

“Hey! Hey… tone down the self loathing!” Slate said, yet again stroking between my ears. “Dry Clean brought me over, and you’ve been pretty calm ever since I got here. Just fitfully sleeping.” He said, his smile soothing and his presence a warm cup of cocoa on a cold day. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked gently.

I sighed. “I… was just dreaming a lot about the attack.” I admitted. “And feeling like I was being chased by a radscorpion. It sounds so foalish, I know…”

“Sounds pretty normal for somepony who got skewered by one of those things,” He countered, resuming his petting of my mane. “And you made it so Willow was able to see you. And you helped Blackjack make a friend! That’s… actually pretty impressive!”

Friend. Oh crap. “Um… where are Blackjack and Glitter?” I asked, trying to not fret about the answer.

Slate cocked an ear to the side, then gave me a knowing smile. “Dry Clean Only collected Glitter to bring her home. Blackjack is sleeping up in one of the offices upstairs. Triage told them to get out of her hospital. Something about not worth staying around for you to wake up,” he took on a distant look a moment. “And then something about how her borrowed office better not smell like sex afterwards. That the cleaning ponies would be very unhappy.” He chuckled as I groaned.

“Look, really though, given everything that’s happened, you have been taking a lot of pressure off of the heartmenders. Even just having Blackjack out of Star House for the past two days has been really nice.” He added with a sigh of relief. “Honestly, I was wondering just how much longer I could keep going.”

“Keep going with what?” I asked. All the adults were keeping things from me, and it was starting to get old.

Slate sighed, then nudged me slightly. “Scoot over, Threnody. Let me tell you something about myself.”

I moved as much as I could, then felt my side decide to protest against movement. “Ow. OWW!”

Slate gave me a very concerned look. His hoof lightly traveled over to settle on my side. “How bad is it?” he asked, his eyes serious.

My ears drooped. “It’s… pretty awful.”

He sighed, his muzzle disappearing into his saddlebags, and he withdrew a vial of Med-X. “Look, you should probably take something for it.”

“Slate, I really don’t like Med-X. My… my mom got addicted to the stuff for a while. She said it was cause her back hurt. I think she really just used it because she was still whoring.” I admitted, shaking my head. “I… I can-” The fireball of pain blasted into my brain, scorching away my willpower. “Well… on the other hoof…”

Slate shook his head. “You do have to be careful with it, but this is the only dose I’m offering you. You get one, then you’re done. After that it’s Willowbark potions.”

I eyed the needle warily. “Okay. I lied.” I admitted. “I’m less worried about the Med-X addiction, and more worried about the needle.”

Slate gave me a small, sympathetic smile. “I don’t like them either. I can distract you while I inject you. Follow my hoof.” He said, waving his hoof slowly in front of me. I followed his hoof until I felt the pinprick of the needle. A wave of relaxation flowed out of my body, turning my legs to a pleasant form of jello.

“Is that better?” He asked as the medication set in. I nodded slowly. “When you’re hurting, you need to tell your doctor!” He chastised, his hoof still on my side. “I could feel your pain from the hallway while you slept.” He then sighed. “Threnody, you know just as well as I do that taking care of yourself is a key part of being a heartmender. If you can’t do that, you can’t take care of your patients. Sandalwood knows that, Willow knows it from personal experience. If anything, she should be an object lesson to you. If you are hurting, tell somepony.” He said firmly. I nodded, and he sat down next to me on the hospital bed, before pulling me into his lap. I didn’t particularly like being held, but the Med-X was making me feel a little loopy and docile, so I really didn’t mind too much.

“When I grew up in Stable 89, nopony knew what to do with a heartmender. We were just trying to figure out how the world worked. I was a foal when Caprice showed up, made 89 into 69, and pretty much set up Flank. But… she saw in me something other ponies didn’t: the fact that, as a heartmender, I could please ponies in a way nopony else could. So… I became a whore.” He said bitterly, spitting out the word like a cherry pit.

“It paid the caps, that’s for sure. But… after the Battle of the Hoof, after the Heartmenders were set up? I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m so tired of making Blackjack ‘feel good’, when every minute I spend with her is killing me inside.”

I let a silence fall as Slate finished speaking. The Med-X was dulling my senses, but I could tell he was trying to hide his feelings from me behind thick emotional shields. I watched him as he looked down at me. His deep blue eyes were full of so much jagged pain.

“Slate, why don’t you say something about it? If it’s been bugging you this long-”

“And what? Leave you to help her? All by your lonesome?” He snapped, then sighed. “Sorry, you don’t deserve that.”

“Then tell me what I can do to help!” I said quietly, pressing my cheek against his chest as he held me. He felt warm, and his coat was very soft and well brushed. He kinda smelled good, too. “You and Sandalwood have been doing this job longer than anypony else has. Blackjack can get better. But not if it’s breaking you in the process!” I frowned up at him. “Doesn’t Heartshine always say that the first rule of heartmending is to take care of yourself?”

Slate smiled down at me and nodded. “Yeah, I remember her telling me that, too.”

“So why aren’t you doing it?” I asked, an intentionally grumpy look on my muzzle.

He smirked. “Okay, fine, you manipulative little minx! I’ll try to take better care of myself!” He gently pushed me off of his lap and got down off of the bed, but the smile on his face reached his eyes this time. “Anything else you want me to do while you’re all laid up, Mistress Heartmender?” He teased.

“Well, you could ask Sandalwood out on a date!” I replied with a sly grin. Oh… shit. No… brain… brain why… Why did you say that?! Oh right, the drugs! The not feeling pain in your side drugs...

Confusion rippled off of Slate in rogue waves, occasionally crashing into embarrassment and amusement, filling the room with a storm of emotions for the briefest of moments. “I… what?” He asked, dumbfounded.

I lay my ears back and stared at him. “Slate, it’s obvious you have a thing for her. And she has a thing for you. Ask her out on a date.” I deadpanned. “Just… don’t fuck her until I’m a safe distance away from the wing, okay?”

Slate’s jaw dropped. “I… I don’t… We don’t… I mean…” I continued to give him an utterly exasperated stare. “Okay, maybe I do have some… fondness.” Still staring. “Care?” Still staring. “Okay, fine! I do have a great deal of feelings for her!” I smiled and nodded approvingly at him. He glared back in response. “Not a word of this conversation gets back to Sandalwood!”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I said innocently. “If it makes you feel any better, Slate, if it were her coming to see me, I would’ve had the same conversation with her.”

“Why?!” He half-shouted.

My ears lay parallel to my skull as I look at him with more than a healthy dose of annoyance. “Because I can not only see it, but I can feel it. And because I can see and feel it, and you two are trying to hide it from each other, it’s super annoying. Just. Take. Her. Out!”

The coward bolted out the door before I could say anything else.

I awoke in what I thought was the next morning feeling particularly groggy.

“Oh good. You’re not dead.” Triage’s gravelly voice rasped. “I wondered when you just went out like a light.”

My mouth felt like I’d been sucking on cotton all night. “Well, Slate gave me some Med-X last night. But my side hurts less now!” I managed, looking blearily up at the vague image that I was fairly certain was the unicorn. Triage appeared to be frowning rather more than usual.

“He did what?” She demanded, then shook her head. “People get their hands on a syringe and they think they’re the Surgeon fuckin’ General Let me guess, he gave you a full shot?” She interrogated, lighting a cigarette with a huff.

“I don’t know. He seemed to know what he was doing…” I said innocently. He really did seem to know what he was doing. If anything, the long sleep did me some good. “Is sleeping for that long normal with Med-X?” I asked.

Triage shook her head. “No, it ain’t normal. The entire reason I’m sitting in this here room with you is because you didn’t wake up yesterday. I had you hooked up to a monitor, and if you hadn’t woken up in the next few hours, I was going to dose you with Fixer to bring you out of it.” She harrumphed, taking a drag on her cigarette. “He’d said to me he’d given you something to ease the pain, but I didn’t think it’d be that much! He grew up in Flank, for Celestia’s sake. He should know the risk of using Med-X.” She rolled her eyes. “Fucker probably wasn’t thinking straight. Probably even thought he was being kind, too.” She took a drag, then let out a long, smoky sigh. “Figures he wouldn’t think about the fact that you’re small. Though it does explain why you’ve been out for the better part of two days.”

Hmm… something in that didn’t parse right in my head. If Slate knew what he was doing, he wouldn’t intentionally OD me, would he? Maybe it was an accident? I marked it down as something I needed to ask him about when I got back to Chapel.

I experimentally tried to roll up from my back to my haunches, and happily discovered the ache in my side wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been before. “Well, my side does feel better.” I admitted. “But that could have been from the healing potions.”

Triage nodded, then stuck another purple potion under my muzzle. “Drink.” She ordered. I did so. Ooo! This one tasted like grapes! “Well kid, two more of those, and you’ll be all healed. I’m sure I can discharge you to Slate and Sandalwood,” She pursed her lips sourly. “Assuming drugging kids isn’t actually a habit for those idiots”

I said nothing as I finished off the potion. “Um… where is the filly’s room?” I asked. My bladder informed me that I hadn’t peed in the time that I’d been asleep.

Triage pointed her lit cigarette with her magic. “Down the hall and to the right. And there should be an alicorn that can take you back to Chapel. Unless Blackjack is still lurking about.”

I nodded to her thankfully and bolted out the door.

A few moments and a great deal of physical relief later, I checked back in with Triage. “Am… I free to go?” I asked as she looked over a chart. I wiggled my left hoof, the one I’d chipped a few days prior. It looked like somepony had gotten around to trimming it and evening it out for me, along with my other hooves so I didn’t walk funny, but I didn’t remember it hurting before. I’d walked a long way on it, why was it hurting now?

The dusky mare looked up at me, an annoyed expression on her muzzle as her eyes followed my waggling hoof. “Huh? Oh. Yeah, fine. You’re all paid up. So get out of my hospital.”

I turned to go, then stopped myself. “Thank you, Triage. For… listening.”

The old nag grunted and muttered something that could have been charitably interpreted as ‘you’re welcome’, and I took that as my cue to leave.

I trotted down the stairs of the Collegiate and out of the building. The massive structure had taken some damage in the Battle of the Hoof, but it looked like the medical ponies had been putting forth some efforts to clean the place up. It was starting to look like a college from one of my books! The stairs from the main hospital led down into a massive courtyard that lay between the various buildings that made up the Collegiate. Shattered concrete and the remains of a fountain dominated the slowly greening common area.

As I looked out across the courtyard, I spotted a familiar red and black mane belonging to a mare lounging on a park bench. Blackjack lay on her back with a pair of aviator sunglasses she’d gotten from Luna knows where. Chuckling, I shook my head and trotted over to her. I couldn’t smell her from here, so presumably she wasn’t drunk. Probably.

“Are you my ride home?” I asked as I made my way over to her.

Her left ear twitched, and she lifted her right hind leg, letting out a fart that would have done a tuba proud. Yawning, she rolled off the bench, landing on her hooves. “For you baby, you can ride me all night long~” She teased.

Well, some things didn’t change. I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes. “Not happening, Blackjack. Can we go home now?” I asked.

“You’ll have to hold onto me if we want to teleport there~”

I trotted to her side, and wrapped my left foreleg around her right. “Shall we?”

And in a flash, we left the Collegiate behind.

I left Blackjack at Star House, and trotted back to the Heartmender Wing. We really, really needed to just install a door into Star House. This whole walking back and forth between the Heartmender’s quarters and BJ’s home was getting annoying. I wanted to be able to see myself in and come and go when I pleased, dammit! Not act like I was a pre-war pizza delivery filly every time I needed to see her.

Slate waved to me from the kitchen table where he was taking notes. “Hey! Welcome home! How are you feeling?” He asked, setting his pencil down. I glanced at his notes, admiring how neat his mouthwriting was.

“I’m feeling a lot better. Triage says I need to have two more healing potions at bedtime, but I should be all fixed up.” I replied slowly, trying to get a read on him. So far, I was feeling the warm feeling of genuine care and concern. Nothing hiding under the surface. Weird.

Slate’s brow furrowed. “Where’s that suspicion coming from, Threnody? Did I do something to upset you?” He asked, pulling out a chair for me and waving me to the table.

I sat down and shook my head. “Well, no. Just… the reason I was out for two days was because I’d had too much Med-X. Could you have made a mistake with the dose you gave me?” I asked innocently. No point in really being accusatory, since it actually could have been an accident.

Slate blinked at me. “What? Med-X overdose!?” He shook his head. “There’s no way! I checked your chart before I dialed in a dose for you.” He glanced to the side as he recalled something. “Your chart said that you weighed 87 lbs, which is underweight for you, even as a pegasus a filly who’s still growing. The normal dose would be 10mg in solution for every 154lbs of body weight, even so I dialed it down and only gave you 1.5mg to be safe. There’s no way that would have knocked you out for 2 days!”

I flinched slightly as he shouted, both in voice and emotions. “I’m sorry Slate! Maybe somepony at the hospital accidentally gave me an adult dose!” I said quietly, trying to ease his concern. I rubbed my sore left hoof. “It’s… I’m sure that’s what happened.”

Slate shook his head. “I’m going to mention this to Sandalwood. If someone tried to poison one of our heartmenders, she’ll want to let Heartshine know. If this is because of you helping Blackjack, then it’s really... not a good sign for the political situation here in the Hoof...” He trailed off, getting up and trotting down the hallway to Sandalwood’s room. I used the opportunity to slip into mine.

Well, at least there was never a dull moment around here.

Are you sure this is who you want to be? Yes No

New Player - Threnody Lily

S- 2
P - 7
E - 2
C- 9
I - 7
A - 6
L - 8

Traits: Small Frame - You gain +1 Agility and enemies have a -5 penalty to hit you, but your limbs suffer 25% more limb damage. This does not affect actual damage taken.

Good Natured - All non-combat skills are increased by +5, all combat skills are decreased by -5. You’re sweet, and good at figuring out how to solve your problems without hitting other ponies. Somepony paid attention in kindergarten! As a drawback, however, you sometimes struggle to deal with those that didn’t pay attention to things like ‘share your toys’ and ‘don’t hit other ponies with bricks.’

Level Up!
New perk: Kissed by Security

For good or for ill, Security herself kissed you. You now pick up the “benefits” of Wild Wasteland, even if you are not level 1. Welcome to your new, wilder and weirder life.

Author's Notes:

Oh goodness. Sorry this took so long to get out! I wanted to start bringing the wasteland in a bit more in this chapter. For most of her life, Threnody has had the advantage of growing up somewhere relatively safe. Now she needs to learn how to survive in a world that isn't as kind as she'd like to think it is.

As always, hope that you enjoyed it! It was lots of fun to write! And special thanks to Bronode, Somber, and Overkenzie for assistance with the edits, and to Kkat for creating this really fun world for me to write in!