“Uxie, can you please behave and stop circling everything you pick up with your telekinesis around my head? I know that you are curious and trying to test your abilities, but please tone it down so that I can focus more on the ongoing land preparation. And I love looking at a large number of people digging dirt and moving that dirt somewhere else. It's like watching paint dry, but a lot more relaxing and interesting at the same time.” I stated, subconsciously swapping Penelope’s claw away from my shirt's left sleeve for like... tenth time this day, a move that didn’t phase Penelope too much as she then simply switched to chewing the tip of her tail instead of my shirt.

I should probably start thinking about getting a big fat pacifier for her to nibble on if this is not going to stop anytime soon, though I personally doubt that any pacifier that ever existed there will survive for very long, thanks to those pin needles for teeth she has in her mouth.

But whatever. Uxie, on the other hand, actually listened to me as he did finally calm down. Funny for him to act so wild besides being the so-called the Spirit of Knowledge as far as I remember. Though then again, he did just hatch out from an egg yesterday. So basically he was still a toddler as far as I know.

One that can fly and levitate shit no less.

By the way, I, Penelo and Ux-man are now standing right in front of the ongoing land operation outside the city, in case someone is interested to know that. Besides me and the two kids, there were also Susi along with four Palace guards to guard my sorry ass. One of which was even carrying a large parasol to shield me from the hot midday sun while another was fanning me with a large palm leaf to keep my hot body nice and chill.

A wonderful combination to have in the middle of a desert, especially with the added chair provided to me as well to rest my aching legs. Having to walk all the way from the Palace to here is really a test to my untrained computer chair legs in a place which uses nothing but stairs for even the tiniest elevations.

I really hate stairs, I really do.

“Da Da Da!” Penelope suddenly babbled as she started to reach out towards the Uxie floating next to me. Uxie in turn just gave me a rather curious, but patient looking smile while pointing at the little drake on my arm.

I already knew what he wanted to ask without even openly asking for it as I casually handed Penelope over to him. This is actually pretty good as I technically now had the best nanny that Lady Luck could've barfed at my face. A Legendary keeping an eye on my little baby drake, better than any guard or female servant let me tell ya.

“Are you sure it's okay to... give Penelope to... uhm... what did you call it, Uxie?” Susi asked as she looked at the pair levitating in front of me.

I waved my hands dismissively. “Ah, don’t worry. In fact, I somehow have a feeling that she is going to be a lot safer with him then she would be with anyone else, thanks to his abilities and whatnot. Plus, he really likes her as well.” I casually answered before focusing back at the scene in front of me.

Though not for long, as my legendary short attention span once again reared its ugly head.

“Say... can you really understand me, or more importantly can you even see me with your eyes constantly closed? Just curious... for SCIENCE'S sake.” I suddenly asked completely out of the blue.

Uxie as a response first looked at me somewhat blankly, or as blankly as someone can look when their eyes are obviously closed. But after a while, he nodded, which in turn answered my question rather quickly.

“Interesting, for you to understand us so early in life. Like, really early. But hey, you are the Spirit of Knowledge after all, or so I hope, for my ego's sake and my own limited knowledge of Pocket monsters in general. It has been years after all.” I stated.

This caused Susi to perk up. “Say... why do you keep mentioning the term ‘Pocket monster’ whenever you talking about Uxie? I doubt that this creature can really fit in anyone’s pocket easily, judging by his size.” She asked, which was honestly bound to happen sooner or later.

Because this world hasn’t obviously been blessed with the Japanese anime plague like how my world has, pushing the waves of really colorful and ridiculous looking hair along with over dramatic poses and expositions. Filthy hentai loving tentacle jerk-offs.

“Well...” I began. "That is a long and very confusing story. Trust me, the meaning behind that name is just going to lead up to even more questions than it actually answers. Maybe even leading to some rather cruel sounding concept, depending on who you ask.” I responded.

“Well, alright. In that case, I won't pursue this question for too much longer. Though I still ask myself as to how you even knew what this creature is and even its species. It is quite surreal in a way, but so are the Gods and nature.” She stated, sounding a tad disappointed.

It was true, by the way. All I really did yesterday was singing a song that none of the Zebras ever heard before then addressing Uxie via both his name and species without much explanation. The only one who seemed rather thoughtful at the end of it all was none other than Aku, who then quickly excused himself and fucked off to somewhere, while I was thinking on all the money grabbing possibilities I had with having a Pokemon.

That is... until I realized that THIS wasn’t the Pokemon world at all for my schemes to actually work.

Damn, and here I was already looking forward to just rip off tiny kids, bug catchers and bitchy rich boys of all of their money. It was going to be so easy, just spam potions and OP moves all day and let the limbs fly. Even though Poke's only faint when beaten to a pulp. But hey, my inner Kefka can dream now can he?

With that little random thought finally out of the way, I began focusing my attention back at the spectacle in front of me. Basically watching a real-life documentary about ancient techniques and whatnot. This might be a surprise to some, but I really do love history. Which is actually one of the only subjects worthy enough for me to even drag my ass to the living room to watch some TV on an actual TV set. Like NatGeo and stuff like that.

I stretched my arms after a while before sighing. “Ahh... sitting around in the middle of nowhere with two floaty things obstructing my front view is certainly one way to kill some time. When was the last problem I had to face, which in turn forced me to do my actual damn job? Ah, yes... it was roughly just a few days ago when the changeling debacle finally resolved itself. It's nice to finally relax for a while without much to think or to worry about. Just wait, and see, and hope for the best for the fordable future.” I happily commented, leaning back against my rather sizable wooden chair and crossing my legs into a much more comfortable position.

Though my bullshit sense quickly told me that something was about to happen soon to break this sense of serenity and tranquility. I can feel it in my bones and it was making me... quite itchy in my nether regions.

This... is a sign.

“Actually..." Yup, a sign. ”...There are the newly arrived news about some issues brewing somewhere far to the south where some of the most powerful Zebra tribes are. It could be worth keeping an eye on that, especially since not all of the tribes have fully accepted you as the new Monkey King.” Susi announced, finally reminding me of the fact that not every single head honcho out there has fully accepted me, basically making the goal of re-creating the Empire of old momentarily impossible.

Stupid, but true. Especially since it was thanks to the diverse expertise of all the different tribes out there which even allowed the ancient Monkey dudes of old to forge an Empire in the first place.

See what I meant when I said that this world seems to be operating with video game logic sometimes? An exciting revelation for the likes of me, but still rather silly for the more logical side of my personality. Which isn’t exactly that big in case some of you are wondering about that.

I grumbled. “Way to go to ruin the mood, Susi. I was perfectly ignorant about that reality before you reminded me of it. Some assistant you ar...” I was about to complain before a sudden commotion stopped me from doing so.

We all turned our heads to its source, only to be met with a large sandstone silo slowly shifting to one side from its base, basically signaling the fact that this rather tall looking structure was about to collapse, right on top of a farmhouse no less. Which still looked to be occupied, judging by the rolls of rags and blankets neatly packed in front of it.

It certainly wasn’t too long before everyone else noticed this imminent disaster before it seemed too late. Screams began echoing from the aforementioned farmhouse which truly signaled the fact that someone was indeed inside of it. An elderly Zebra by the looks of it as I could see her peeking outside her window to witness her incoming death.

She certainly seemed to be too old to run out of dodge while most of those who could help her were too far away to do so.

“By the Gods, that silo is going to destroy that house and kill whoever else is inside of it!” Susi commented, which was just brilliant on her part.

I was about to comment on her rather “intelligent” exposition when I suddenly found myself being trusted with the body of a certain baby drake before seeing a bright flash going off next to me.

I was momentarily blinded by this, of course, as I mumbled a couple of swear words under my breath to alleviate the sudden pain in my retinas. Though once I was able to see past the fog, I was immediately greeted with an Uxie floating right in between the hovering silo and the dainty little farmhouse under it.

The gem on Uxie's forehead was glowing brightly with energy, the same glow which also enveloped the silo as he seemed to be holding it at bay with his psychic powers, though he also seemed to be struggling a bit, judging by his outstretched hands and pained expression.

I'd say that the little guy needs some training if the circumstances would have been different, especially when everyone around me still seemed to be frozen from the event in front of them. Minus Penelope, of course, as she is a bit too young to give a fuck.

“Well... what the fuck are you all standing here for? Go help evacuate the house or whatever!” I ordered which snapped everyone out around me out of their daze.

Two of my four guards did as I suggested and dashed off towards the farmhouse to join the only recently arrived group of workers to both pull everyone out of the house and to throw ropes with hooks attached to them onto the roof and midsection of the silo to help Uxie with pulling it back into place and preventing it from crushing the house.

Not sure why they would try and do so, but alas, it is their silo, not mine. Personally, I would think that just allowing it to fall onto unoccupied ground would be easier and less energy consuming. But again, not my issue.

“Just a day old and already trying to be the local hero of the people. They really do grow up fast these days, it's almost too beautiful to be true.” I commented with a fake sniff and tear as I watched everyone pull the uprooted silo back into place before securing it down with the same ropes that were used to pull it back.

This was true though. Babies these days really do grow up quickly, then it obviously means that I don’t have to “baby” them for too long which allows myself some more free time because of it.

The fewer responsibilities I have to perform the better for me and everyone else. Most importantly, the kids, as I am considered to be a terrible source of influence by some. Kinda true as I did accidentally create cousins who adopted my overall antics and characteristic behaviors.

Though it was funny.

“Hmm... well, enough lollygagging, for now, I guess. Time to see what exactly was the cause for this sandstone made dildo to shift out of its foundation anyway. I mean, a silo doesn't just randomly decide to fall over on top an old lady's house without some cause, after all, though I already might have a good idea as to why it happened. But it's better to be properly informed than just pulling shit right out of my ass. Which I usually do only during morning rituals. Such is life inside a mortal body.” I lengthily stated before pushing out of my chair.

This got Susi’s attention. “Wait... are you really going to go over there while the silo might still be unstable? It could be dangerous to approach!” She worriedly stated.

I dusted my pajamas off while replying. “Ah, don't worry too much about that, dear old Susi. It's going to be fine. Trust me. Nothing will happen.” I simply responded before strolling over to the almost-disaster site.

Famous last words, and judging by how trollish the universe can act around me this might actually be possible. Though, I am very good at trolling the universe in turn. You can’t bite me in the ass so easily, you are not the only one with teeth after all.

“Oh, and by the way,” I announced before looking at the two remaining guards holding both the parasol and palm leaf respectively. “You two, of course, will have to come along and continue to do your jobs as portable sunscreens. This heat is neither good for my skin, nor my enthusiasm.” I added.

The two guards simply nodded before following me off to the disaster zone where shit almost happened. Susi, of course, was not far behind. As was expected.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Ahh... so that is what happened, then,” I stated, rubbing chin.

My hypothesis was proven true: the digging and moving of farmland have destabilized the silo’s foundation. I guess, installing some overseers with a little bit more brain would certainly be a good precaution in order to keep incidents such as these from happening again.

The few local architects don’t seem to be enough for that.

“Well, yes, Your Highness. We certainly need to be more careful from now on if we want to prevent such disaster from happening again. If it wasn’t for this... strange creature over there then things would have certainly turned out a lot worse in for this house and the old couple living in it. Thank the Gods for that!” One of the aforementioned architects commented while pointing a hoof at Uxie who was just floating there.

The little guy looked quite exhausted by the looks of it, which was kinda understandable for a day old kid. He certainly needs to train his abilities some more if he wants to increase his mental stamina. Having a psychic Pokemon under my banner would certainly be useful. Just like with everything else in life, I am planning to fully capitalize on this opportunity to its fullest potential.

With power comes great responsibility, my ass. If this was the Pokemon world, then I would surely make use of his power to its full money-making potential.

Those trainers are going to go back home with nothing but their loincloths on. Girls will be able to keep their bras as well, of course, I am not a pervert after all.

Though those thoughts were quickly interrupted when I eventually noticed that Uxie was slowly making his way to me.

I actually had to catch the little guy mid-flight when he suddenly collapsed into my arm. The one which was obviously free and not currently occupied by a sleeve chewing drake of destruction.

I must look really ridiculous right about now with two toddler-sized beings on both of my arms. One is a living flamethrower and another is a displaced looking creature from another franchise. Not that I am complaining, of course. Of all the eight hundred or so Pokemon that exist within Game freaks' shit stained panties, I get the legendary trio that I like the most. Well, one of them at least. But it seriously wouldn’t surprise me if the remaining two were here somewhere. Probably in eggs too, similar to nerdy boi here.

Oh, boy, all of this knowledge and events was really starting to stress me out. A feeling which I both hated and dreaded so much with every fiber of my being. I hate stress, who doesn’t?

I need another vacation and fast.

“Okay, that’s it.” I declared boldly and very loudly which caused those closest to me to jump in shock at my sudden outburst.

Except for Susi who was pretty much used to my unpredictable antics at this point.

“What is it?” She curiously asked.

“Simple...” I started by raising a finger in the air, and almost dropping Uxie because of it.

I struggled for a couple of seconds to keep his body steady before continuing. “It is time to head to the south and deal with this... whatever you mentioned earlier and be done with this stressful life within this city. It is time for another road trip, plus this would also give me the excuse to travel to a completely different corner of the continent as well, not just staying in the dry and arid part of these lands. I always wondered what the southern steppes actually look like, and this would give me the perfect opportunity to satiate my curiosity. Killing two birds with one stone, basically.” I stated.

Susi was, of course, a bit skeptical at first before just shaking her head at my presented line of reasons.

“Random dude number 1764. Can I trust you to go hire a couple of more overseers to keep this operation going smoothly? My people need me to the south, and they can’t obviously wait for their monarch to show up and be all glamorous or whatever. That, and to fix an issue that has been brewing down there. Can you do that?” I asked the unknown architect next to me.

The stallion nodded. “Well... yes, of course, Your Highness. In fact, I already know a couple of colleagues who can fill in that role perfectly. Maybe even recruit some of those new Changelings living in the city to act as eyes in the sky as well? Overall, it shouldn’t be too hard.” The un-named stallion responded.

This made me smile before turning my gaze back at Susi. “Well, it seems to be settled then, Susi. We are going on a road trip to finally see something else other than sand, stone, and sandstone all day. Ooh, this is going to be so... colorful, or at least green if we are talking about steppes.” I stated before sauntering off back towards my chair, the two sunscreen guards following me of course.

Did I ever mention that I hate sweat? Well, if not, then now you know. All of you invisible people out there that I can’t see.

I halted. “Shit... who is going to take the chair? I mean, my hands are completely full now, as you can all see. So...” I wondered before looking around for anyone who could carry this wonderful chair back to the Palace where I got it from in the first place.

Strangely enough, though, the previously sent duo whom I earlier tasked with assisting with the evacuation was nowhere to be seen it seems. Not here, not with me, and certainly not at the farmhouse behind us and the re-secured silo next to it.

“Hmm... I think we got ourselves some strays. Probably snuck off to go have a beer in the closest pub or something. Nevermind, I have enough guards to choose from to really care about two of them going astray to get smashed or whatever. Though that still leaves me with a dilemma.” I carelessly stated before looking at the remaining trio behind me.

One was carrying a parasol, one was holding up a palm leaf above his scalp, and another was doing jack shit besides just standing there and looking pretty.

“Susi!” I declared with a grin, “Could you be a dear and help me get this chair back up to the Palace, please? As you can see, I have my hands full.” I requested, which in turn made Susi’s eyes go wide.

.............................................................................................................................................

“Hmmm... this is... interesting,” Aku mumbled to himself while reading through a really old scroll.

“Apparently this creature the King now possess is only one of three which have been sealed away within these lands for some unknown reason. The first written evidence about them is dated by the very first Monkey King. Acting as guardians to ancient and powerful relics, one of which is the Phoenix Crown itself. Very curious.” Aku commented to himself, before stroking his beard in thought.

For him, one question still remained. If the aforementioned Phoenix Crown was one of the artifacts that these beings once guarded, then what could possibly be the other two items that are described to be items of great power?

He knew what the Phoenix Crown was capable of: gifting its wearer the immunity of fire and the passage of time. Even downright immortal when worn.

If the traditional crown of all the Monkey Kings of the past had such capabilities, then Aku could only imagine what the remaining two items could do.

Immortality was already top tier enough, what could possibly be above that?