“We need to send a search party down there, and fast!” I heard a very familiar voice shout from far off as me and the group where closing in to the exit that would lead us back to the surface. Funny how one of the entrances into the vast, expansive catacombs were actually quite close to the hole I just fell in, a hole that was apparently caused by the rotting infrastructure caused by natural erosion. Also, the exit was elevated by a bunch of bloody fucking stairs too, so there was that as well.

I really needed to reevaluate the need of introducing these Zebras to the concept of elevators, or at the very least something similar to an escalator.

The former would probably give me claustrophobia, like how most elevators do. But my need for simplicity always overshadowed my personal fears and issues… mostly.

Either way, after smashing through a loose rock wall, which, by the way, I had to do because… I was the tallest and therefore the strongest and all that jazz. We eventually managed to find ourselves inside an abandoned warehouse that was actually located right next to the Bazaar that I just disappeared from.

Also, I used one of the bodies of the dead bad guards as a battering ram to get the job done. Yes, I know, desecration of the dead and everything, but, as I learned from the Princess so far, the minds of these guards were already tainted by her evil mother’s will, which in turn caused them to be reverted back to their more hive mind-like state that their race once used to have. A nature that strips their individuality and emotions away and only leaves ‘useful’ ones made for either for combat or work, like anger, fearlessness and obedience. Basically, drones in every sense of the word.

A sad fate for someone who previously used to be sapient.

Either way, I smiled as me, Penelope and my mug finally reached the outside world after a torturous journey through a set of stairs, only for me to frown again when I realized just how hot and bright it really was, even inside an old warehouse.
The underground catacombs, in comparison, were nice and cool, with a certain level of humidity to boot.

A “waschküchen klima” as my peoples would say.

“By the Queens of the past, why is the upper world so dry, bright and warm? It never gets like this further down the crust.

At least not from my personal experience.” A changeling muttered behind us as the princess and I were the first to step into this abandoned building.

I just dismissed him with a gesture. “Not even the worst. Just wait until you step out of this building; the scorching desert sun will surely make you love the underground dwarf-like dwellings that your kind has going on down there even more.

And it’s not even summer yet.” I commented, much to the changeling’s awe and slight horror.

“Can… can someone then please tell me why the princess is so fascinated with this world?” I could hear him mutter once more, completely forgetting the fact that his monarch was right in front of him.

But, unbeknownst to him, the princess was actually locked in her own world.

She took in a deep breath of the stale warehouse air. “Ah, how long has it been since I last smelled the outside air? It really must have been ages since I can’t even remember how the air smelled like.” She commented, which in turn just made me shake my head.

I just ignored her naïve warehouse sniffing when the ever-so-shrill voice of Liuanda entered my ears. “Yes, I am not “circle jerking” as the king would say. We need to get EVERY available guard down there and search the Catacombs. I don’t care how open that would leave the walls and gates and I am sure that the captain would agree. So round up as many guards as you can and stop asking so many stupid questions!” I could hear her scream.

Not sure why she was still hanging out by the Bazaar after my “accident”. But then again, someone has to stay behind at the scene of the “crime” to make sure that nothing gets touched, especially with all of those kinky bent-over Zebras around.

Well, either way, time to bring the smack down on everyone still there. Wonder how large Zebra eyes can be once I step out of this dang dusk basket.

I made my way to the chained-up door and gave it a couple of test tugs. I frowned when I realized that these chains where actually still in their prime, which obviously meant that getting out through here seems to be a no-go for now. I doubt a lobotomized changeling carcass would be hard enough to smash through this compared to a brittle stone wall.

“Wait, allow me, King Alex.” I heard Palmy suddenly call out.

Not sure what she wanted to accomplish, but I simply decided to humor her and stepped out of the way, only for me to press my lips together when I saw a yellow bolt zip past me and hit the chain to my left a moment later.

The part of the chain where the bolt hit caused the iron to practically disintegrate, severing the chain in the middle and making a previously un-traversable exit suddenly traversable. The two halves quickly slid off the handles and landed on the ground with a noticeable ruckus.

I gave her a curious look, which in turn she returned with a sheepish and embarrassed smile.
“Hmm, battle mages, now there is something I should also add to the ranks.” I thought to myself while stroking my chin to make it even more obvious.

I quickly filed this possibility down into a save section of my mind before I pushing through the now-opened portal and out into the world in need of Ice tea and dusk fans.

Actually, now that it came up, do these Zebras have Ice tea too? So many things I want them to have, but so little time, mostly because I will forget about it later for more important things presented in critical events.

Like this one, though the idea of creating Battle mages WILL stick no matter what. It’s the important ones that keep haunting my head until I can finally find a vacuum cleaner to suck them up and throw them out of the house.

Those laser shooting whatchamacallit thingies from Ghostbusters are too complicated for my taste.

Either way, we made our exit and my previous predictions were made true almost immediately. Liuanda, off at the other end of the Bazar, managed to spot us almost in an instant as we exited, her eyes going wide and her mouth hanging wide open. The other guards that were with me prior to my fall where missing, though, which was to be expected otherwise the four of us were going to have a serious talk regarding urgency.

When I get attacked or get pushed off into a hole again then I at least expect them to quickly react on my behalf and act as either my personal meat shield or my meat cushion. Though I will admit that the latter is most likely going to be very difficult to fulfill, especially with them being covered in full body armor.

Just imagine the back pains I will get from those.
Either way, just as expected, Liuanda was the first to recover from the shock before quickly galloping towards me. “Yo-your highness… you are… but, how? How in the name of the gods did you manage to survive such a fall?” She rapidly questioned, still in awe and obviously very confused with my return.

I just frowned. “That is the first question you ask me? How in the living hell I managed to survive instead of asking if I was ok or not? By my stars, I think I might feel slightly insulted by that. Oh, the humanity.” I commented, dramatically if I may add, with all the added ins and outs of your typical drama queen.

Liuanda quickly understood, though, as she looked down at her hooves with an apologetic tone. “I-I am sorry for my decision, your highness. You are right, I should rather be overjoyed of your survival than questioning it. I beg for your forgiveness.” She pleaded, bowing her head even further.

I just patted her on her helmeted head. “There, there, no need to be so over-dramatic with your feelings there, Liu. The end point to all of this is that I managed to survive while also looking damn good while doing so. Plus…” I gestured over to my escorts. ”I also managed to bring up some new visitors on my way back. A set of very important visitors, to be precise, as the bling and robes on that princess proves.” I added which in turn caused Liuanda, and basically everyone else in earshot to look at the new collection of ‘lings behind me.

The sudden attention did have its effect on those cave dwellers, as they all looked rather uncomfortable with their new situation. I have to commend her servants though, as they quickly huddled closer to their princess to safeguard her from this visual onslaught.

Or they are just did it naturally out of their own fear. Probably that one, if their tails between their legs was anything to go by.

Either way, Liuanda was again the first to respond. “Wait, is that… Uh I mean is SHE really the changeling princess? Like, a member of their monarchy? What in the desert’s name is someone like her doing here? Has she maybe something to do with this whole “changeling refugee” debacle that is happening right now? If so then I am sure that there are alot of Zebras out there who would like to listen to her side of the story regarding this problem.” She rapidly questioned, somewhat disrespectful even if her tone was anything to go by.

Something I, of course, couldn’t tolerate… because that is usually my job. But whatever, first come first serve, I guess.
The princess, to my surprise, nodded her head. “Well, yes, yes I am somewhat responsible for the on flood of changelings on your soil. But for a very good reason, if you all allow me to explain.” She answered, casting her gaze at everyone.
“Well then, pray tell, what IS this reason, exactly? Why are there so many of your kind illegally living among our territories. Should be quite interesting to hear, especially for the captain if he ever gets wind of this.” Luianda pushed on, much to the princess’ sudden discomfort.

I decided to step in just to save face, and also because I hate getting stopped like this repeatedly. Again, I might not know how it feels to be on the receiving end of these pebbles, but that still doesn’t mean I need more examples of them. I prefer giving than taking in that regard. I am so generous sometimes, it’s unbelievable.

Plus, the heat is killing me as well. Something that could easily be fixed if I can get my ass back to the temperate environments of the Palace. Also, I am hungry, which also means that Penelope is going to be hungry as well. All very good reasons to jet back to the base thanks to personal needs alone.

I pushed Liuanda off the side a bit to step in Palmyria’s view, causing her to yelp somewhat. “How about we discuss all of this back in my oversized home on top of that cliff over there? It’s a lot cooler up there, believe it or not, and it would also serve you underground dwellers as well. A much better place to stand around instead of the blazing heat of the open streets, I can tell you that” I pointed out while also wiping my forehead with my forearm.

Not sure if I should call it a cliff or a plateau, though. From down here it obviously looked more like a cliff thanks to the upwards angle, but from on top it does seem to look more like a plateau thanks to its relatively flat surface. You’ve got the Palace sitting there, the large plaza in front of it, the libraries, universities and noble housings beyond that.

Never explored these areas quite yet, even though I strolled by them on my first day. Something I need to file on my “to do” list if I want to get myself a firsthand account of the city’s layout.

Soon, we will be forced to expand the city beyond its borders anyway, which also includes upgrading the already existing infrastructure to compensate for the new city blocks and districts.

But I am getting ahead of myself right now. I still have a “princino de la ŝanĝoj” to talk to and get some cogs from he… uh I mean getting to know her and tell me her side of the story regarding all of these ‘lings flooding the city gates.

Also, food. Let’s not forget about the one thing that keeps both body and soul together.

She looked up at the Palace for a healthy portion of her time, just seeming to be enthralled by its design. Which is also how I managed to get all of these thoughts out of my systems without causing a scene… again.

Yeah I am totally convinced now that she is a sucker for foreign culture and history. Well, she will certainly have a lot of it once we get there. But first, I need to snap her out of it and get this train rolling. I am both hungry and hot, damn it, and
Penelope is already getting the hiccups as it is.

Need to get some food for her quick before she starts another fire… again.

I casually tapped the princess on her shoulder with my mug, which did jack shit in getting her out of her fangasm, though the sudden flame of Penelope did as she quickly yelped back into reality.

I used this moment to make my point. “See, this is why we need to get back to the Palace quickly. A hungry Penelope is a HOT Penelope (you perverts).” I explained while pointing at said drake… with my mug again… which is empty.

Pretty sure that Ashika has been ordered to return to the castle after my unintentional departure into the void, which also explains why she is missing from the scene.

Oh well, can get more once we arrive at the Palace, which we haven’t even started to move towards, which is super irritating.

STOP FANGASMNING ALREADY!
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...
I sat down onto my throne after having taken forever to get here. Palmyria really wasn’t making it easy in regards to getting the fucking move on. Even Penelope voiced her annoyance as she almost set fire to a pottery store that we passed by.

It’s lucky that it was actually a pottery store full of pots and nothing truly flammable. In fact, Penelope’s outburst even helped the age-old store keeper, saying that week's worth of work was just done in minutes. He was quiet happy and even offered Penelope a jug of his milk, which I gladly accepted, just to satisfy her until Palmy can get her black polished ass moving.

Which she did… really, REALLY HARD. And not in a sexual way you filthy perverts.

That’s what she said, letting my feminine side shine for just a little moment. Let’s not kid ourselves, all men have it, similar as all female having balls sometimes.
But I am getting sidetracked again. As I said, I sat on my throne again to get the conversation started, a move that somewhat confused those who watched as I literally looked like as if I sat myself down, only to get back up and sit down again.

My mind and my ways of thinking are an enigma to all, unless I am exactly spelling out what exactly is going on in my mind… which I just did… a second ago.

Anyway, after a little breath of air and a sweep of my brow - because this was one hell of a long and arduous trip thanks to the princess’s insistence on staring at everything to death and beyond - I finally started this meeting by clapping my hands.
I refocused my attention back on the changeling P below me with my usual trademark grin. “So… ” I began by stretching my arms wide. “Welcome to my humble abode. I know that it is a little cramped in here, but please, make yourself at home. While I really don’t have any chairs to give you in this room, the floor to the throne is at least carpeted. So there’s that.” I announced.

The three changelings in front of me looked around, being in awe at the sheer ludicrousness and size of this throne room, also known as the hall of the thousand pillars by most. But I never bothered to call it like that because it is longer and I am lazy. Nobody likes a mouthful, unless you’re a hooker.

The changelings eventually stopped their peeking before looking down at the carpet. Two of the ‘lings sat themselves with a sigh, leaving the princess the only one left standing. She again sported a look of childish fascination, a look that I quickly came to be well aware of thanks to the trip.

I immediately braced myself for what was to come, and true to my prediction, it did come. Faster than the guards could even get their thick tails out of their asses, she quickly spread her wings and was standing right in front of it before I could even place Penelope between me and her.

The little drake just giggled next to me, like how she always did when Palmyria does that.
“Are you really sure you don’t know anything about your nation’s history and culture? I am sure you must at least know something about your own Palace.” She questioned with a big grin and with her head right next to my wide-eye face.
This has, pretty much, been the norm for me ever since I showed her the Palace back down from the market; fangasming to everything her shining blue eyes could get their irises on... IF they had irises in the first place that, is.

Either way, I responded the same way as I always did since it started; shaking my head and pretending to be stupid. I mean, I do know some of the history and culture of this place, especially since it's similar to cultures back in my world. But the moment where I start to budge, even the tiniest hint of detail, the goose would literally be out of the back at this point.
A really loud, aggressive and sometimes adorable little goose with bee wings. Because I still hold to my statement that changeling are adorable.

She just frowned. “Awww, are you really sure? Not the tiniest bit of information about any of this?” She pleaded, which I answered by shaking my head again.

Her ears dropped. “How come a king doesn’t know anything about his nation’s history? I mean, sure, you haven’t been the king for long from what you told me, but still, the wise stallions and scholars should have educated you in some way.” She verbally poked, being the first time she actually asked those questions, to be honest.

My lips where pressed together as my eyes darted from left to right. She was actually starting to ask some really good questions for once. Something I wasn’t prepared for, simply because I didn’t expect her to be that sharp.

Disrespectful, sure but what can you do when all anyone saw of her was fangasming all day.

Despite the pressure, an answer quickly materialized inside my head, which was also true and kind of dumb on my part as to why it didn’t come to me sooner.

I focused back on her, which wasn’t hard considering that all I could see at the moment, and simply shrugged. “Because I never had the time or the desire to actually learn it. I mean, I did a few times, but then something came up right at that moment which needed my attention almost immediately. Which, by the way is happening A LOT, if you ever wonder. Quite irritating, I have to say.” I casually replied.

It really was quite irritating. I never even got the chance to place some witty one-liners or inappropriate comments before it happened.

Oh wait, yes I did. What kind of s bullshit am I talking about?

She just gave me a look before finally freeing me from her overwhelming image, giving me back the view of the throne room and not just her face. That really excited and childish face.

How old is she again?

Well, I can’t ask her now as she finally flew back to the foot of the throne, much to the Palace guards’ satisfaction. The ones closest to me were actually ready to intervene, if needed.

Which is good, of course; vigilance is something that guards should have. That’s what I am paying them for after all… if they are getting paid, that is. Am I actually paying them? Should ask someone in accounting when I get the chance, and that is a big IF.

Anyway. now that things were back in control, I finally decided to bring this meeting up to the point where it was originally going to go anyway: the issues about changelings in general.

“Well… ” I began as I always do with a pause. ”Being the princess of your race obviously means that you must have some knowledge as to what it is that is going on down there. Changeling defectors and refugees and whatnot. Mind filling us in on what is it so that we won’t be running around in the dark anymore? Also, consider my personal support if you need any help with it as a compensation for your cooperation. I am sure we have something that might help with your own problems down there.” I announced, quite boldly in the end as well.

The princess swiftly perked up at that. I already had a feeling since the beginning that she most likely had a reason in traveling up to the surface. Just had to throw a little bone her way to test if my theories were correct, and would you know it, they were, if her quick reaction to my bold statement was anything to go by.

She wants those guns, my guns in fact, to help her fix whatever problems she might have in regards to this whole changeling thing…. Which, in turn, is just tiring to even think about it.

More work, less time to just fuck about and enjoy the privileges of being the fucking king. It’s NOT good to be the king sometimes, but alas, it’s a job I took and it’s a job that I shall perform… just so I can get all of this bullshit behind me and quickly get to the good part of this job.

Conquest, baby, Total War style.
Besides my rambling, I also patiently waited for the Princess to collect her words after her little perk-up. She seemed rather shy, or even unsure of what to say before I coughed loudly against my mouth to get her attention yet again.

“Uhm… about your take on this changeling issue.” I repeated calmly, which did the trick.
She again perked up, but more in realization than in surprise. “Uhh… uh yes, yes of course I… I sorry, I totally forgot.” She replied sheepishly.

I just scratched my head before gesturing for her to go and ignoring her lack of focus. At least she isn’t alone. I suffer from attention problems myself, batteries not included.

She quickly composed herself before starting. “Well, for starters, yes, yes I had a hoof in the matter in regards to some of the changeling that are out there. I have actively… or rather, secretly, been trying to help changelings that wish to leave the hive, where they can try their luck by being rogues. Not ‘rogue’ as in being outlaws though, we changelings use the term rogue to subscribe a changeling that is living alone and outside of a hive’s influence.” She finally clarified, much to a certain sergeant’s satisfaction.

It was a start, but it clearly wasn’t the whole story. It was a question I would love to ask if Liuanda didn’t beat me to it.
In fact, I might actually let her do the talking while I just watch and comfortably sip my coffee while Penelope gets her bottle. The advantages of sharing the same questions, I suppose. Seriously, that could happen more often, in my opinion.
“Well, that’s all fine a good, but that doesn’t explain WHY your changelings wanted to leave your hive in the first place. What exactly are those reasons, if you don’t mind me asking, princess?” Liu question, a lot more respectfully though, which I have to commend.

Good impressions with a foreign leader is always good, unless I remember myself to do it as well… also depends on my mood and if I had my daily coffee or not.
Yeah never mind.

Palmyria just sighed, looking somewhat sad and depressed as she answered. “Well, it actually has something to do with my mother.” She admittedly sounded just as regretful as she looked.

This got everyone’s attention though, especially that of Liu, and the changelings in particular as they shared a knowing look with one another. I, on the other hand, was a bit too busy with Penelope to actively pay attention.

She can be so distracting sometimes by just being herself, babbling along like how all babies do and nibbling at anything she can get her claws on. Just lovely.

Though, besides that, I could still see Liu rubbing her chin. “What do you mean ‘your mother’? The queen? Is she really so bad that citizens of her own kind want to flock out of her domain so willingly? What is happening down there, if you don’t mind me asking again?” She pressed on.

Again, the princess just sighed, before, to my surprise, she stared back at me with a much more resolved look in her eyes than before. Quite a surprise, I have to say, especially since there isn’t much to see in her eyes to start with. It’s all shining blue and shit.

“This is actually one of the reason why I personally came to the surface in the first place… despite Cyrus’s insistence against me going alone.” She announced before looking off to the side again.

“But I have to. I AM the princess of the changelings, and if I can’t have the courage to do things myself then how in my fore-mothers’ name am I going to fulfill the role of my mother when that fateful day finally comes?” She kept on commenting as her gaze finally came back to me with more determination in her eyes than before, though with the added sense of pleading behind them as well, curiously enough.

“So please, your highness, me and my hive could really use your help in resolving the problem that we face back home. The near-instability that my mother has created with her madness could in any moment turn into chaos. I would gladly offer my hoof in marriage and the merging of my hive with your nation if you could help me dethrone my mother and end her reign of insanity. I just don’t know what to do anymore and I want to avoid a possible massacre if I can. So please, I need your help.” She finalized, getting down and bowing to me.

Though that was not the thing I was focusing on. Oh no, it was something EVEN bigger and something that I didn’t realize just myself, judging by Liu’s, the changelings’, and basically everyone else’s expression.

I did the “time out” gesture with my hands. “Wait, wait, wait… let me… let me get this straight.” I announced calmly, looking at everyone in the room before focusing back at the ‘ling at hand with a raised eyebrow.

“You basically want to get hitched with me for kicking out your mother? Bitch, please.” I responded quite appropriately.

Talk about getting dragged into something, and I haven’t even started taking over my first country yet.