On a cold winter's day in Canterlot, six very close friends found themselves ensconced in a coach rolling down the road that lead to the royal palace – a great, looming building that somehow seemed to grow more and more impressive as they drew nearer. It was just as fantastic as any of them could remember; perhaps even more so, with the lack of gaudy decoration and sense of festivity that had pervaded the Gala. Back then, the majority of their attention had been drawn to the gathering crowds, rather than the castle itself. Now, though, their eyes were free to wander, allowing them to admire the elaborate architecture fully.

At least, they could in theory. The six friends were too busy chatting in the carriage to bother looking out the windows at the scenery passing them by, with the possible exception of a dreamy-eyed Fluttershy. The conversation was light and flowed like water, changing easily from topic to topic, never staying on one for very long.

"This is going to be so! Much! Fun!" Pinkie squealed, squirming and bouncing on her seat. "Do you remember when we came here last time, and how super fantastic the play was and how everypony sang along with us at the end? Wasn't that great? Do you think they'll do that again? Oh my gosh, I can't wait! And then there's gonna be the big fancy party after and it'll be so cool, and this time everypony will be dancing and stuff I bet, and –"

"I can't wait to see the princess again," Twilight interrupted happily. "There's so much I want to talk to her about. Do you think Luna will be there?"

"I still can't believe nopony thought to come and get me when she was in Ponyville last time," Rarity sniffed disdainfully. "I may have had a cold, but it was royalty! I missed my chance to make a good impression on one of the princesses!"

"You don't need to make no good impression," Applejack said with a grin. "Celestia knows we didn't, and we're still goin' to the palace, ain't we? If runnin' and screamin' from a princess ain't enough to make 'em banish us, there probably ain't nothin' you could do that'd make 'em mad at you."

"Well, if I'd been there, I wouldn't have run away," Rarity answered curtly. "And honestly, we were the ones who banished Nightmare Moon, so why in Equestria were you so afraid of Princess Luna? You should've known better. I never would've expected it of –"

"I wasn't afraid," Rainbow Dash boasted, even though she'd only been listening to about half of the conversation and couldn't have said for sure what they were talking about. "I didn't run away at all."

"Yes you did!" Pinkie cut in eagerly. "After you got your tushie zapped! You were outta there so fast that –"

"Hey, shut up! You weren't even there, how would you know?"

"Twilight told me about it!"

"Well, I didn't run away. I was just surprised."

Just then, the carriage rattled from a sudden sharp rush of wind somewhere outside.

"Windigos!" Pinkie shrieked, diving head-first into a pile of cushions that decorated the carriage seat.

"Windigos?" Fluttershy squeaked, eyes huge and frightened.

"Pinkie Pie, you know those aren't real. They're just a story," Twilight chided, sounding disapproving.

"Besides, dontcha got that no-fear song o' yers to protect you?" Applejack asked.

Pinkie Pie pulled her head out of the pile of pillows, giving Applejack an exasperated look. "That's my ghostie song," she explained, rolling her eyes dramatically. "I don't even have a Windigo song."

Now that she was sitting upright again, no longer burrowed among the pillows, Pinkie Pie threw herself at Rainbow Dash, wrapping her forelegs around her in a tight hug.

"No more fighting!" she said happily, "'Kay?"

"Geez, Pinkie! Let go, you're crushing my lungs!"

Laughter, and then gradually the conversation drifted yet again. But Pinkie didn't let go, staying where she was. Her body felt warm and soft pressed against Rainbow Dash, and it brought a heat to her cheeks, but it was a pleasant kind of heat.

That feeling from the train – that this was everything she wanted, everything that she needed – was lingering. Even when they'd reached the station in Canterlot and had to disembark, that contentment remained, spreading from the very edge of her hooves to the very tips of her wings, until it was like she was filled with a sense of overwhelming satisfaction.

For the first time in a very, very long while, Rainbow Dash felt peaceful. Things were back to normal for real, with none of that horrible pretending and denial, and it felt fantastic. In the back of her mind she knew that the normalcy would only last for the next week or so, though. When they had to return to Ponyville after the holidays, she'd be returning to Mare Do Well, and she had no idea what to expect or how to prepare herself when that time came. For now, though, Dash could just focus on the present, on how easily her body welcomed Pinkie's weight as the earth pony leaned against the pegasus, and on how much she'd missed those hugs. More than she'd ever admit, even to herself.

Time passed, with Pinkie occasionally lifting her head from where it rested against Rainbow Dash's shoulder, either to laugh or offer her own opinion on whatever had just been said, but she always put it back, much to Dash's unspoken relief.

The carriage rolled to a stop at the steps of the palace, and the doors opened, allowing the six of them to disembark. Twilight went first, shoving past the others in an uncharacteristically rude way. Rainbow Dash and Applejack exchanged a puzzled glance when they heard her shout "Spike!"

"Twilight!" came the response.

A joyful laugh. Rainbow Dash shoved past Applejack, ignoring the "Hey!" that elicited from the farmer so that she could pop her head through the coach entrance and see what happened.

Twilight and Spike stood together on the steps leading to the palace, hugging fiercely as if they hadn't seen each other in years, instead of only a couple of weeks.

"Aw, man, I missed you guys!" Spike cried happily. "It feels like it's been forever!"

"I don't know how I managed to get by for so long without my number one assistant to help me!" Twilight answered as she nuzzled his cheek, sounding just as happy to be reunited as he was.

"Why was he even in Canterlot on his own fer so long?" Applejack asked in a low voice.

"I dunno," Rainbow Dash whispered back. "Royal business. Does it even matter?"

"Wasn't there somethin' 'bout a dragon ambassador?"

"That sounds good."

"Whatcha guys talking about?" Pinkie interrupted, bounding in between them, but neither Applejack nor Rainbow Dash got a chance to answer, because they were now being ushered into the palace by the stone-faced guards who stood watch at the massive double doors of the spacious entrance.

"Where's the princess?" Rainbow could hear Twilight asking one of the guards, who was now leading them up a flight of beautifully tiled stairs and towards a long hall of suites, but she couldn't quite catch his response. Not that it really mattered, anyway.

The palace had an entire wing dedicated to housing guest suites, which was where they were taken now. There were six rooms allotted for their usage, one each, all of them furnished exquisitely. The guest wing almost gave the impression of being some kind of five-star hotel, an impression strengthened by the servant unicorns silently lurking in the background, bearing trays of food and baskets of linens.

They were led to these suites by one such a servant – a scrawny male unicorn dressed in the same uniform as the others, who carried half of their luggage with a weak magical light and the other half on his own back. If he stopped walking for even a moment, his legs shook almost violently, as if they'd give out any second, but the shaking stopped when they reached Rarity's room, and his burden was lessened considerably upon her taking her things back.

Rainbow Dash's own room was just like the others: huge and luxurious, with rich and elaborate decoration, but curiously gloomy in how impersonal it was. The unicorn servant set down her suitcase, the very last one, before sighing heavily in relief and scampering out the door. Ignoring his speedy exit, Dash approached the case, unlatching it with her mouth and tipping the contents on the floor, successfully ruining Fluttershy's painstaking packing.

The neatly folded clothes scattered, her wallet fell with a heavy chink from the bits contained inside, and a piece of folded paper came fluttering down, floating gracefully to the ground. Rainbow's heart stopped.

You thought you could escape? it seemed to say, mocking her. You thought you could get away?

It seemed like the right thing to do at the moment would be to classify that fluttering feeling in her stomach as panic. But actually, that panic was competing with a sense of something like relief. The truth was, Dash had found it very, very hard to believe Mare Do Well's claim that they would have no contact in Canterlot. She hadn't expected those nightly visits to continue or anything; that would've been too hard to hide, if Mare Do Well was one of her friends, since they were all staying in such close proximity.

Notes, though, made sense. The relief was because this note was like confirmation that she was right – that she was getting good at this, at knowing what to expect. And she'd known better than to truly believe she would be left alone for an entire week.

Suck it up, Rainbow Dash told herself. Not afraid of anything, remember?

It was just a piece of paper. It couldn't hurt her. Taking a deep breath, she bowed her head to pick up the note, setting it down on a nearby table and spreading it open on the polished wooden surface.

A simple missive. Short, in that same plain, solid writing as before. No signature and only one sentence.

I miss you already.

There. Rainbow Dash released the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. That hadn't been too bad. Nothing ominous or creepy there; just a note.

But how did it get in her suitcase?

Fluttershy had packed for her, but Mare Do Well had no wings, so although the yellow pegasus was the obvious suspect, it couldn't be her. Unless Fluttershy had placed the note in there as a favor for somepony. Could somepony have asked her to slip it in? Would Fluttershy have agreed? There was no name, no sign at all that it was from Mare Do Well, so somepony who didn't know better – somepony like Fluttershy – might have agreed to do it, not knowing what it would mean to Dash when she found it.

All she had to do was ask Fluttershy right out. Fluttershy knew the whole story now; she'd definitely want to help Rainbow Dash if she explained what the note was. Unless – had anypony else had access to her bag at any point?

It would be so much easier if Rainbow Dash at least had a way to write back to her.

That evening, the six of them joined the princesses for dinner, and although that may have been a cause for formality on any other occasion, this time, it was just like having dinner with old friends. It was difficult to maintain any semblance of dignity with somepony you'd once eaten donuts with after utterly ruining one of their parties.

Princess Celestia was warm and receptive, asking gentle questions and laughing easily with her pupil. Princess Luna was silent for the most part; not cold, exactly, but maybe a little uncertain on how to behave around them. She spoke only to Fluttershy. Maybe Fluttershy's true talent lay in taming all kinds of creatures, rather than just the woodland critters she cared for. As timid as she could be, she never had trouble winning over all she met.

Rainbow Dash felt numb, unable to summon up even enough energy to fake it the way she used to. The food was good and the atmosphere pleasant, but Rainbow couldn't eat, instead settling for picking at her meal and pushing it around on her plate while the others exclaimed over it. Her thoughts wouldn't stay focused long enough to really take part in the talk going on around her, either; her mind always found a way to return to the note.

She had suspected for a long time that Mare Do Well was really one of her friends, in spite of no true proof, but this was the first time that Rainbow Dash really understood what that meant. It meant that one of the ponies who laughed so readily and talked so easily was secretly leading some kind of bizarre, twisted double life; that she didn't know one of her friends at all, and since Dash still had no idea who Mare Do Well was, it potentially meant that she didn't know any of them. If she truly understood her friends, shouldn't she have been more certain? Shouldn't her trust in them have been firmer? More unwavering? There shouldn't have been these doubts haunting her; Dash should've just known instinctively whether or not any of them was capable of such deception, and who.

Dinner came to an end, and nopony questioned her when she declared her intention to call it a night, likely chalking it up to her inherent laziness. It was easier to go along with the teasing than to try and explain how she couldn't bear to look at them anymore.

Rainbow Dash fell asleep thinking about her.

That sinuous grace and formidable strength, that velvet voice, that odd sense of humor and unexpected fragility. Her dreams were peppered with images of the mare, of bodies wrapped together and delirious warmth. Of greediness and wanting and need.

And then she woke up drenched in sweat, breathing heavily, legs tangled hopelessly in the covers.

Oh, Celestia, she thought with a groan.

Her wings were fully erect, much to her horror. They were so stiff that folding them back down again was almost painful, and after a moment, Rainbow Dash growled in frustration and gave up, diving back into the mess she'd made of the blankets.

Why'd I even wake up? she thought bitterly, but it wasn't because a part of her wanted to finish the dream.

Then she heard it. A rapping at the door.

"What?" Rainbow snapped, voice gruff and muffled by the blanket. "Come in, I guess."

The door creaked as it swung open, and she lifted her head to see who it was: the scrawny unicorn from before, who had carried their bags to their rooms. He popped his head through the entrance, looking nervous.

"Um, sorry to bother you," he squeaked, voice cracking in a grating way, like a colt on the verge of becoming a stallion who wasn't quite there yet. "But, uh, you have a message. Miss!" he added hastily, like an afterthought.

That was all it took for Rainbow Dash to bolt upright.

"From who?" Dash shouted, leaping out of bed. Her entire body grew tense, feathers bristling as she glared at him, a note of urgency in her voice.

"I don't know!" he cried, taking a step back. He was visibly panicked, now. "I was just told to deliver it to this room, I swear!"

Rainbow's mind was already whirring, the gears turning.

"Is there, like, a mail service in the palace?" she asked, pressingly. "A delivery network? Or is it just the servants who do it?"

"T-there are runners," the colt squawked, looking terrified. "Servants who just deliver letters and packages and things to personal retainers, who then deliver them to the ponies they're going to. But I don't know who it's from! If the sender wants it anonymous, the runners won't tell us!"

Rainbow Dash closed her eyes, thinking. When she opened them, the colt was still there, albeit cowering in fear.

"Who makes up the rooms during the day? Specifically mine?"

"There's a couple of us who've been assigned here."

"Us? So you're one of them?"

"Y-yes."

"Even if neither of us knows who it's going to, if I wanted an answer, could you figure out a way to make sure it gets sent back along the same route?"

"That could probably be arranged," he said after a moment of consideration, and Rainbow Dash nodded before turning to approach the desk. The colt followed, carrying the letter behind him in a soft trail of magic.

"I want you to do something for me," Rainbow announced, opening one of the drawers and shoving her head inside to rummage through it, finally pulling out a pad of stationary. There was already a jar of ink and a quill set on the desk. "When you come to clean or whatever, if there's anything left on this table, do that thing and send it back down that route, and if I get a reply, just leave it here, too. It'll be like my personal mailbox. If you do that, I'll make it worth your while somehow, I swear. Okay?"

"Uh, sure. I can do that. No problem!"

"Cool. Can you wait here for a sec?"

Without waiting for a response, she snatched the note out of the air and opened it.

Are you okay? You seemed distracted last night. If that's my fault, I'm sorry. (Did you know they have a whole system for anonymous deliveries here? You can respond that way. Just ask the messenger delivering this about it.)

Rainbow Dash scowled to herself, resisting the sudden urge to break something and instead focusing on taking the quill and dipping it in the ink to scribble out her reply.

It took a long time to write, and when she was finished, the letters were shaky and clumsy, making her response look horribly amateurish in comparison to Mare Do Well's tidy little note. It was legible, though, and that was good enough.

What the hay why are you bugging me HERE too?!? Can't you leave me alone for like a week?!?!?!?!?!?

Satisfied, she wordlessly shoved it towards the unicorn colt, who no longer looked scared that she was going to hurt him. He just gave a slight bow before scrambling to leave.

So that was done.

Mare Do Well sure had guts to try and keep up the game thing when it would be so easy for her to get caught right now. Still, anonymous notes were kind of clever, and there was something about the whole format that completely changed the overall tone. If they'd met in real life and Mare Do Well had asked her how she was in such a way, Rainbow Dash would've assumed she was being condescending and reacted accordingly to the implied insult. In the form of a note, though, it seemed friendlier. More good-natured.

Logic dictated that she rip the paper up into a million tiny pieces and burn them, but she instead dropped it into the same drawer into which she'd stuck the one from her suitcase. If anypony found them, they might misconstrue Rainbow Dash's decision to keep them as some kind of sentimentality, but she couldn't just throw away such valuable evidence, could she?

Most of their afternoon was spent rehearsing the play, and Rainbow Dash threw herself into her role with unprecedented gusto.

Last year, she'd made a habit of dozing through practice, ad-libbing most of her lines on the night of the actual performance. Pinkie had found this hilarious when Dash later confessed to it, but nopony seemed too annoyed. Although the exaggeratedly drill-sergeant style Commander Hurricane ended up genuinely terrifying Fluttershy, the play was an old one that was often subject to reinterpretation. The original used stuffy, archaic language, and modifications were often made to make it more accessible to modern audiences; as long as the general message remained the same, nopony was bothered. Still, Twilight had later told her off about it.

Now, though, Rainbow Dash managed to stay awake the entire time, eyes wide and focused, catching the others off-guard, but it was all because she didn't want to consider the possibility that one of her friends might be an even greater actress than she knew, one of them carrying the talent they now all displayed into the real world, as well.

At the end of the hour they decided to call it a day, and she actually felt a momentary flicker of panic. If she didn't keep busy, her thoughts were going to stray, and she knew it. But then Pinkie cast a glance back, and gave her a very small smile.

"Dashie?" she asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes innocently. "Wanna go play outside? They have so much snow here! We can have a super major giant snowball fight!"

"Um, sure," Dash reluctantly agreed, but then she saw the way Pinkie's face lit up at her answer, and felt herself slowly get into the spirit of things. "But there's no way you can beat a pegasus at a snowball war. We make the snow. You know that, right?"

Pinkie giggled and stuck her tongue out at Rainbow. "Silly filly! There's no way you can beat a Pinkie, either!"

And Rainbow Dash found herself smiling back.

Not everything in the world had to revolve around Mare Do Well and her attempted flirtation with Rainbow Dash, even though it could feel that way sometimes, and the way the afternoon blew by seemed specifically designed to emphasize that point. Not once did Rainbow Dash find herself thinking back to the mare or the notes or the game; she was too preoccupied with making sure Pinkie got hit in the face as many times as possible during their snowball fight. It was entirely possible that this had been intentional, a ploy designed by Pinkie to distract Rainbow Dash from whatever was bothering her, but if that was true, then it worked.

When they finally returned inside after utterly destroying the pristine, snow-blanketed winter wonderland that had greeted their arrival, they were still giggling and red-faced from the cold. Dash's mane was dripping and matted from the melting snow and she couldn't stop shivering, but it was hard to mind very much.

"I totally won that," she bragged. "It wasn't even a contest."

They were in Pinkie's room, and the pink pony was toweling off in the corner. Her hair was limp and damp, just like Rainbow Dash's was, but it was starting to bush up again as she dried herself with one of the thick, fluffy towels she'd found in the closet.

"Are you feeling better now?" she asked conversationally.

"Huh?"

Pinkie had been standing by a vanity table, making faces at herself in the mirror as she dried off, but now she turned to face Dash, giving her a sad smile. There were so many different kinds of smiles that Pinkie had in her arsenal, and she wielded them all like an expert, Rainbow Dash realized. It was amazing that she could say so much with a single expression and a single glance from those big blue eyes of hers.

"You looked sad," Pinkie explained softly.

Rainbow Dash resisted the impulse to shake off the excess snow like a dog, instead brushing it off her coat with a chilly hoof and letting it melt in a pile on the carpet. When she was satisfied that she was as dry as she could get, she let herself fall back onto Pinkie's bed. She bounced a little on the mattress – soft and cushy, like Pinkie herself – and shut her eyes, sighing.

"I'm not sad," she mumbled.

"Well, you looked like you were thinking too much, and Doctor Pinkie Pie says that's no good. It's the holidays! You need to be playing and having fun!"

It was entirely possible that Rainbow Dash had been thinking too much, she reflected. Most of her life lately had revolved around one thing and one thing alone, and it was driving her crazy.

She felt something fall onto the bed beside her with another bounce, and when she opened her eyes, turning her head to see what it was, she saw Pinkie looking back at her. She looked solemn.

"You're my very bestest friend in the whole wide world, Dashie," Pinkie said, quietly and firmly, eyes huge and sincere. "And you're also my favoritest pegasus, except for maybe Fluttershy and Pound Cake. So if something is happening that's making you hurt, it's okay to tell me. You can talk to me about anything."

"Um, all right."

"Really, it's okay. I know that Fluttershy is your oldest friend, but you can tell the rest of us stuff, too."

No I can't, Rainbow Dash almost snapped. And you know why.

But the Pinkie looking at her wasn't the same Pinkie who had kissed her; she was just the Pinkie who loved her friends more than anything and wanted them to be happy. And there was also a different Pinkie, a Pinkie lurking in the darkest recesses of her mind, who could be angry and vengeful and hold grudges, and yet another Pinkie who could be horribly, heartbreakingly lonely at times.

There were so many different aspects to Pinkie's character at play, every day they spent together, and she was a master at displaying only the personality she wanted to and hiding all the rest.

"Are you okay?" Rainbow Dash retorted, turning the tables and somehow managing to make the question sound like an insult.

Pinkie blinked, looking surprised. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

Because I can't trust you.

"Because sometimes you just fake it when you think we want you to be happy."

And Pinkie giggled. "Why would I be faking it, you goofball? I just had the funnest afternoon ever with my Dashie! Why would I be a Grouchy Pie now?"

Rainbow Dash sighed, and rolled off the bed. When her hooves touched solid ground, she began to flap her wings, taking to the air. They were still a little sore, but the best way to get used to flying again would be to do it as much as possible, no matter what Fluttershy said about not straining them.

"Are we still going to the Derby?"

Pinkie was sitting up now, looking worried.

"Sure. Why wouldn't we?"

For once, Pinkie seemed to have no answer, only giving Rainbow Dash a shrug before giving her another one of those too-complicated smiles.

Most ponies carried a mental image of the perfect pony around in their head, who was exactly what they wanted a pony to be, exactly who they thought they could love the most. Every pony they met in life, be they mare or stallion, was measured up against the pony in their head. It was pure wishful thinking, and many ponies ended up spending their entire lives trying to make that wish come true.

Mare Do Well talked big about not trying to sum ponies up, about not putting too much faith into what you saw – because most of the time, ponies projected exactly what you wanted them to see. But the truth was, in a way, she'd done the exact same thing without even realizing it. Rainbow Dash had been the pony in her head for a long time, and she'd fallen hopelessly in love with her, but that had barely scratched the surface of what real love could be.

She'd fallen in love for all of these shallow reasons. Rainbow Dash was strong and brave and beautiful and loyal and all of those good things, but with every meeting, every night that passed by and every glance exchanged and every conversation held, she fell deeper and deeper, until she wanted to laugh at the self she had once been for daring to assume she'd had even the slightest idea about what true feeling was.

When they were together under ordinary circumstances, Rainbow Dash saw her, but didn't see her. It was like a paradox. Mare Do Well could be more honest, but only because she was hiding her identity, and her true self could be more affectionate, but only because she was hiding her feelings. She could only be close to Dash in any shape or form under false pretenses. Either she hid her feelings or her face, neither option leaving her enough freedom to do what she truly wanted. And she wanted so much, too; more than anything, she dreamt of taking the pegasus and stroking those wings and holding her and maybe someday kissing her, long and deep, but she couldn't. Those fantasies alone made her blush and shiver from guilty embarrassment, and if there ever came a time where they might come true, she'd probably die.

A sheet of crisp, blank parchment from a scroll lay unrolled before her, ink and quill set beside it for when she began to write. Whenever that may be.

She wanted to say so many things. These notes were her new crutch, because she honestly hadn't known whether she'd be able to last an entire week without cracking, but even now, she didn't know what to say.

I love you, she could write. She could fill an entire scroll, back and front, with nothing but those words, and still not have said it nearly enough.

You terrify me, she could write. It would be true, truer than perhaps anything else she'd said to Rainbow Dash so far.

I'm sorry. I never meant for things to go so far or for you to be so hurt. It was never supposed to become this big, but I can't stop now. You understand, don't you?

But Dash wouldn't understand. That was just it. She was yet to see Mare Do Well as anything but an enemy, and that was only when she saw her at all. Rainbow Dash would never be able to forgive her or see her as sympathetic, not yet, not after everything Mare Do Well had done.

She started writing. Just let the words flow. Just be honest and write what she thought.

I know you want to know who I am, but I was afraid that if I told you, your mind would be flooded with all of these inaccurate, incomplete depictions of me. I had these vague notions of getting to know each other without the noise of others drowning our true selves out. But by wearing a mask, I suppose I defeated my own purpose, and even now, I find myself running into wall after wall, one of the biggest being that although you didn't know me, I knew you. At least, I thought I did, and have been painting my own ideas on you ever since. I can't be honest with you out of fear that you won't accept me, and since I'm afraid to let myself see all of you, I don't know how to trust you. But every day that we meet, every time we talk to one another, I feel myself fall more and more in love with you. I would like to know you very much, if I only knew a way to start over again, and if only I hadn't already bucked up so many times.

Okay, that was no good any more. It had started off so promisingly, too.

The worst part was that Rainbow Dash had, in all likelihood, spent a grand total of ten seconds pondering her own reply before sending it off. She'd done none of this crippling agonizing as she'd tried to decide what was safe for her to say.

Unwillingly, Mare Do Well's thoughts flitted back to that night in the alley, after Rainbow's wings had been broken. Horrifyingly enough, the strongest memory wasn't the guilt or terror she'd felt that night, but instead the look on Rainbow Dash's face when Mare Do Well had caressed the silky feathers of her wings. It had been a tight look, but her eyes were unfocused: a look of annoyed pleasure. One of somepony who was enjoying something they didn't want to enjoy.

The ironic thing was, if she gave into the urge to burst into tears and run sobbing from her room just to throw herself at the pegasus in search of comfort, Rainbow Dash would probably let her, if only because she didn't know who she actually was. Or who she was pretending to be. A less scrupulous individual might have taken advantage of that from the very beginning, using their prior friendship as a way to get close to her crush. But she was better than that. Wasn't she? She would never stoop so low. Would she?

And with a sigh, Mare Do Well glanced back at the note she'd received earlier that afternoon.

What the hay why are you bugging me HERE too?!? Can't you leave me alone for like a week?!?!?!?!?!?

No, she could write. I honestly don't think I can.

Rainbow Dash wanted truth. Normalcy. But if Mare Do Well actually wrote that, the pegasus would likely assume she was being sarcastic somehow.

Words were not enough. Actions were not enough. The scope of this was too vast to be communicated so easily. Whatever she felt now had evolved from mere friendship to attraction to a crush to infatuation to pure adoration, far too quickly for her to even understand it.

She groaned and slumped at the desk, slowly and steadily beginning to bang her head against it.

For some reason, Rainbow Dash didn't immediately go back to her room after saying goodbye to Pinkie. Instead she stopped by Applejack's on a whim. After spending an afternoon with somepony like Pinkie, she was actually finding herself craving some kind of structure, and Applejack was the sturdiest, most no-nonsense pony she knew. Except Applejack didn't seem especially happy to see her.

"What do you want?" she asked curtly upon opening the door. Her mane was free of its usual ponytail, hanging loose around her face. She looked bleary-eyed and sleepy, in spite of the early hour.

"I just got back from hanging with Pinkie and everypony else is doing boring business stuff," Dash explained lightly, swooping past Applejack and into the room beyond. She didn't actually know if that was true or not, but it sounded plausible enough. Twilight and Spike would likely be in the library, and Rarity and Fluttershy were probably doing some girly bonding thing together, neither of which sounded especially appealing. "Why're you so tired? You going to sleep already?"

"It's called early to bed, early to rise. Ever hear of it?"

"I like the early to bed part."

"D'you need somethin'?" Applejack snapped, looking and sounding annoyed. Apparently she became cranky when deprived of sleep.

"Nah, just wanted to hang out."

Maybe there was something in Rainbow's eyes, or in the way she spoke, that showed Applejack what the pegasus needed right then, but for whatever reason, her expression softened, and with a sigh, she relented.

"All right, all right," she grumbled. "But you'd better not be a pain in my backside, or yer outta here."

"No prob. Hey, what were you doing, anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously, floating over to the dressing table, where Applejack's trademark Stetson was strewn haphazardly.

"None o' your business," Applejack muttered, snatching it up and yanking it onto her head.

"What, it's a secret?"

"Bein' honest don't mean bein' open. I don't go 'round declarin' my personal business to everypony all day, because it's my business, not theirs."

"How does your Element work, then?" Rainbow asked, settling onto the bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress, wings opening and closing idly.

"What d'you mean?"

"Can you lie at all, like, if it was an emergency? Can you sense dishonesty?"

Applejack chuckled. "I ain't some kinda lie detector, Rainbow, an' I reckon I don't know much more than you 'bout how the Elements work. All I know is, I don't like lies and I ain't good at tellin' 'em, but I could probably do it. I just wouldn't like it. Sorta like how I bet Pinkie could probably go a day without laughing', but it'd just about kill her."

That's right; Applejack didn't know. None of them did. They had never seen Pinkie at her worst, they didn't know how she could get, and Dash had sworn that she would never tell. Unless Pinkie had drawn similar promises from them, as well.

"Let's test that," Rainbow suggested, floating over to the dressing table Applejack still stood by and pointing at the hat, now perched atop Applejack's head where it belonged. "Say your hat is green."

Applejack blinked.

"Huh?"

"Say it. I dare you."

"I don't... no! That's just plain silly."

"What, you can't do it?" Rainbow taunted, her words a challenge.

"I can do it, I just don't want to. It's silly! My hat ain't green! Anypony can see that, plain as day."

Rainbow Dash snickered, and Applejack scowled, saying, "You really don't got anythin' better to do than to get on my nerves?" She was visibly annoyed now, when before she had spoken to Rainbow with more patience. "If you don't, then you can leave."

Rainbow grew still at once, face taking on a serious expression. "Actually," she began, sounding uncomfortable. "I wanted to ask you something."

And Applejack matched Rainbow's sudden change in attitude; she grew serious as well, eyes betraying her concern. "Ask me what?"

"Um..."

Rainbow Dash's eyes lifted skyward, staring somewhere at the ceiling, feathers bristling with trepidation.

"Have, have you ever, um... have you ever had a crush on somepony before?"

Applejack turned beet red. Although considering who she was, she may have preferred it to be said that she turned as red as a Red Delicious, or something. "None o' your business!" she barked, but the furious blush stayed on her cheeks.

"I was just wondering," Rainbow said quickly. "I wasn't trying to make fun of you. I mean –"

She couldn't ask Pinkie. Rarity was the fanciful romantic type and wouldn't give her a good answer. Fluttershy would be too embarrassed. That left Rainbow Dash the option of either seeking out Twilight or Applejack, and frankly, she felt safer asking the farmer, who was practically guaranteed to be straightforward with her.

"I was just wondering if you knew anything about what it's like," she weakly mumbled, ears and wings drooping. "Is it... is it supposed to hurt?"

"Well, I reckon it ain't supposed to," Applejack mumbled back. "But I'd bet that sometimes it can feel like yer heart's takin' a proper buckin'. Otherwise, why'd there be all those love songs that end with somepony dyin'?"

"Yeah..."

If Rainbow Dash was going to get anywhere, she needed to be honest with herself, as hard as it would be, and the truth was, there was the faintest possibility that Mare Do Well could be somepony she wanted to know. At the very least, she seemed interesting: somepony it might be fun to know. The kind of pony that could probably keep up with the Dash, and could be entertaining enough in her own right to merit approval.

And if Rainbow Dash happened to potentially be kind of attracted to her, and sometimes had dreams about her or suddenly really wanted to see her, well, that was perfectly understandable, too. Because when a pony behaved as aggressively as Mare Do Well did, then, well, one was bound to respond, right? It was instinctual.

Like the wings. Pegasi wings were just overly sensitive for some reason, so if Dash got kind of turned on when Mare Do Well had stroked them, then it totally wasn't her fault. It could have happened to anypony.

So that was it: she was confronting the truth of the situation, and once she faced the subconscious enemy, it would cease to have control over her. If she acknowledged that she might kind of like Mare Do Well, or at least find her the tiniest bit appealing, then the mare would no longer have such a hold on her and her life, and Dash would be able to move on.

Applejack was giving her a funny look now, like she was waiting for the pegasus to continue, but Rainbow Dash just stared ahead blankly as she thought. Finally she shook her head, returning to the present.

"Is that a hairbrush?" she asked to stave off any questions Applejack might have had.

"No!" the farmer shouted, knocking it off the table as her face turned even redder.

"It totally is!" Rainbow Dash accused, staring at the corner where the offending implement had landed. "Were you brushing your mane? Is that why your hair was down, and you didn't have your hat on?"

"Y'know what?" Applejack said loudly, grabbing Rainbow Dash's tail and yanking her back down to the floor. She grabbed her shoulders and began to steer her in the direction of the door. "Yer startin' to be a pain in my backside. I think you'd better get goin'."

"Oh, Applejack," Rainbow Dash said in mock disappointment. "How could you have fallen so far? Is Canterlot getting to you already?"

"Go. Now."

Rainbow Dash leaned forward and plucked off Applejack's hat so that she could muss the mane underneath with a hoof. "There!" she said with a nasty glee. "That's more like the Applejack I know."

Applejack shoved her into the hall and slammed the door, leaving Rainbow Dash alone to cackle.

Back in her room, Rainbow Dash found a folded piece of paper on the table – the makeshift post office. Without even opening it, she knew that it had to be another note from Mare Do Well. This time, she didn't hesitate, bolting to the table the instant her eyes fell on the missive so that she could read it.

I'm not leaving you alone because I'm afraid of finding out that you won't miss me if I go away, it said. Also, I sincerely doubt I could last a full week without breaking under the pressure. I've allowed myself this small outlet, so as to vent some of the frustrations I feel. That is my reason, but you don't have to feel obligated to indulge me by responding. It's a selfish reason, and I am a selfish mare who doesn't want to let you go.

She read it at least three times before finally putting it down.

Selfish? Yes, it was selfish. Not only selfish, but possessive and disturbing and just plain irritating. Because seriously, was Rainbow Dash never going to get to have time to herself ever again, or was she going to be hassled every single freaking day for the rest of her life?

Rainbow Dash wasn't up for writing a reply right now. She needed to think a little longer. About what to say and what she was hoping would happen. Maybe she needed to reread the note a few times, to get a better sense of what she felt about it.

She fell asleep reading it, clutching it to her chest.