It wasn't as hard as she was making it out to be. At least, it didn't have to be. The actions were simple enough: put pen to paper. Write. Don't stop and think about it, just whatever came into Rainbow's head.

You're annoying you know. If you're gonna keep bugging me for the rest of my life you could at least do it yourself instead of sending these dumb letters.

No.

I keep dreaming about you, what's up with that? Are you invading my sleep now too?!

No.

I think I might l

No. She wasn't going anywhere near that one.

Each piece of paper Rainbow Dash started to write on ended up crumpled into a ball and tossed aside. Nothing she started to say seemed quite right. It would be easier if she had hands or unicorn magic; her mouth tasted gross from trying to hold a pen for so long, and her cheeks were starting to cramp from the strain of it.

I feel sorry for you, she wrote, face screwed up in concentration as she carefully shaped each letter. I don't get why you think you're in love with somepony you can't even trust. You must be pretty messed up. You make me mad but I can't really hate you because it's just too sad.

It was meant to sound snarky, but upon rereading, Rainbow Dash was disgusted to realize how sincere it came across as. Plus, it rhymed, something done completely unintentionally. And then she had yet another piece of paper crumpled into a ball and thrown into the garbage can.

Rainbow had dreamt about Mare Do Well again, much to her horror; about closeness and gentle touches, with just enough gaps in her memory to leave her wondering what, exactly, had happened. All Dash knew was that when she'd woken up at last, her wings had once again been fully outstretched and her heart had been racing.

The first thing she did upon waking was dig through the bed to find the note again. As soon as she did, her eyes fell on that final line for the umpteenth time.

And I am a selfish mare who doesn't want to let you go.

There was something intimate and possessive about those thirteen simple words; something that made Rainbow Dash shiver, but not in a wholly unpleasant way.

It was hard to believe that there could be anypony in the world capable of adoring somepony else as completely as Mare Do Well claimed to. Whoever she was, Mare Do Well was likely profoundly emotionally troubled, because no matter what else happened, this level of obsession definitely wasn't normal. Definitely not when directed at somepony like Rainbow Dash, who was probably the least lovable pegasus in Equestria. Sure, she was awesome and heroic and all that, but she wasn't especially likable, really. As thick as Dash could get, even she could see that.

That's not to say it wasn't flattering. Rainbow Dash loved attention, after all, even if Mare Do Well's brand of attention made her kind of uncomfortable. And as hateful as the smug, condescending, personal-space-invading Mare Do Well could be, the shy, awkward Mare Do Well was much more sympathetic. There were times when Rainbow Dash almost liked her, almost wanted to return these affections. To just give in and see what happened next. If it weren't for her stupid, stubborn pride, it was completely possible that Dash might have forfeited by now, just to see where such a decision would take her. A tiny part of her wanted to know and was almost willing to give in just to find out.

Presumably, Mare Do Well would finally remove the mask and drop the act. If Rainbow Dash decided to give any kind of relationship with her a shot, just to try it, it would be ridiculous for the mare to try and hide her identity any longer.

Would the romantic theatrics continue? Presents and tender gestures, all meticulously crafted to manipulate Dash into liking Mare Do Well: those would probably stop if Rainbow Dash ever did like her. Or, who knows, maybe Mare Do Well would keep them up, to keep her from getting bored.

But she was Rainbow Dash, and she would never concede defeat, no matter how uncertain she was becoming. She would win, and if she didn't win, she would lose with dignity; except losing wasn't an option this time, plain and simple.

You could be attracted to somepony without being in love with them. And besides, Mare Do Well didn't even have to know that much. She didn't have to know that Dash ached thinking about those ugly dreams where they were so thoroughly intertwined that she never wanted to pull away, or that sometimes Rainbow just wanted to wrap her forelegs around the mare, offering comfort and reassurance during her more fragile moments.

There was more to love than pity or attraction. At most, she and Mare Do Well could only ever be friends. Hesitant, distrusting friends, and even that was risky, because once you crossed that friends threshold, what was left?

And for the time being, Rainbow Dash sighed and decided to give up on writing her reply just yet, instead crawling back under the covers. Hopefully she would be able to catch some sleep.

There was no sudden realization. No grand epiphany. It wasn't a big moment in any sense of the term. Instead, her thoughts came slowly and quietly while Rainbow Dash lay tangled in bed, holding the note. A gradual thing.

It was easy to confuse love and friendship, especially when you were somepony who wasn't very used to either.

As a filly, Rainbow Dash had never been the pony others took care of. It had been assumed from the beginning, because of her rowdy personality, that she was fully capable of taking care of herself. She'd been raised to be tough and feisty, and she liked to think of herself that way, and then she'd become Rainbow Crash, and it suddenly became more important than ever to maintain that image. At her most fragile, she'd become determined to live up to that ideal of strength at any cost; and everypony had fallen for it. They'd all believed she was tougher than she felt, able to stand tall against troubles that would break any other foal her age; troubles like crushing insecurity and the jibes of her peers.

She'd been left alone because nearly everypony she met assumed that she could take care of herself, and she took care of herself because nopony else was going to do it for her. She'd become alienated by these expectations, and eventually, enough time had passed for it to be too late for her to do anything about changing her image. It had been too long.

Growing up self-sufficient in such a way had taken its toll, though; Rainbow Dash had grown too used to it. The thought of ever needing to be coddled or protected disgusted her, because she'd taken care of herself for years. She'd become used to shunning the attentions of others, even as she craved them like a drug, and she was utterly helpless when confronted with these attentions, unsure what to say or do in the face of such basic compassion.

Being vulnerable didn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, did it? Not when you were made so because you were so overwhelmed by somepony trying to care about you that their affection caught you off guard. That wasn't exactly the case here, of course, but it was close. Mare Do Well had taken things too far, but if she was telling the truth, she was only doing so because she cared about Rainbow Dash, and even if her actions were unforgivable, didn't intentions count for something?

During her Rainbow Crash period, Fluttershy had been a source of unwavering support, and it was so easy to confuse love and friendship, especially when you were somepony who wasn't very used to either.

But Rainbow Dash had promised herself that she would never make that mistake again, and Fluttershy had promised not to tell anypony. Nopony had to know that Fluttershy had been the target of Rainbow Dash's first ever crush, because Dash sure wouldn't tell them and Fluttershy was far too good to ever humiliate her that way by telling them. It was only by mutually agreeing to forget Dash's hapless confession that Rainbow Dash had been able to keep her first, and for the longest time only, friend.

And yet... Fluttershy had told her that it was selfish to try and do the same with Pinkie. So what did that mean? Did that mean that Fluttershy resented Rainbow Dash for the secret between them? Did Fluttershy wish that they hadn't just agreed to forget?

Fluttershy wouldn't do that.

If Gilda had never said anything, they could've stayed friends. It was because she told Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash had to reject her that they'd lost what they'd had.

But Fluttershy hadn't done that. Rainbow Dash had been young and stupid and in need of some kind of love after having gone for so long without it. Fluttershy had offered the kindness she sought, and Rainbow Dash mistook the gratitude and friendly feelings she felt for something stronger, but Fluttershy had been so understanding, and so gentle, and so sweet, never bringing it up again and continuing to play her role as the nurturer Dash needed. Even now, she stayed by Rainbow Dash's side, offering comfort and support when she most needed it.

And Pinkie. Pinkie Pie had kissed Rainbow Dash, and although that had been a source of pain for a while, they were still together. They hadn't fallen apart. They'd been hurt, both of them, but they were strong enough to pull through it anyway.

Maybe she needed to have more faith in her friends.

And herself.

Maybe she needed to believe that they were capable of staying together, no matter what hardships they faced, and that if she just sucked up her fear and been the fearless Rainbow Dash she knew she could be, things would have been all right. She didn't have to run. She didn't have to hide. Fluttershy was proof of that. So was Pinkie.

Accepting Mare Do Well meant accepting that one of her friends had a side that was darker than Rainbow Dash ever could have imagined: a twisted, cunning, devious side. Not only that, but it meant looking past that fear Rainbow Dash carried, of confusing love with something else; that terror of risking everything for what would only turn out to be nothing. But it didn't have to be a risk. She was strong enough to get through any hurt such a decision might bring, and if the pony posing as Mare Do Well truly cared about Rainbow, then they would both be able to survive. She wasn't going to be irrevocably damaged because a friend had a crush on her, and neither was the friend.

The Mare Do Well charade was one thing. The idea of a friend being in love with her was another thing entirely. But Fluttershy was proof that it didn't have to destroy you; even now, she cared about Dash, and even now, Rainbow cared about Pinkie. If love and friendship truly existed between them, if it was genuine, then they should be able to get through any potential pain. Not necessarily unscathed, but not necessarily broken, either. And if Mare Do Well was one of her friends, then love had to be there, because Rainbow Dash truly did love the friends she now had. It was a strange and desperate and warped kind of love, love strained beyond belief and maybe not quite the kind of love Mare Do Well had in mind. But it was there, the tiniest nugget of compassion.

It was there in the way that Rainbow Dash missed her when she was gone and worried for her when she was emotional, and in the way that it felt so natural to be held by her. It was unintentional, but it was there, and it all stemmed from the simple fact that Mare Do Well absolutely had to be one of her friends. And whatever else the five of them were, whatever else they were hiding, they were friends first, and nothing else mattered.

That was why Rainbow Dash kept going back. That was why she played along.

No sudden realization. No grand epiphany. Just a natural train of thought as Rainbow Dash drifted into a state of semi-awareness, between consciousness and sleep, eyes shut but mind wandering, but the moment she came to this conclusion, it was like an enormous weight had been lifted.

That was why.

She could deny it as much as she wanted to, but the facts were there. No matter what else she felt about the mare, there was also a kind of love underlying it all – because Rainbow Dash knew, knew without a doubt, that Mare Do Well was one of her best friends in the world, and no matter what happened between them, nothing could change that.

The attraction was there, and so was that tiniest flicker of compassion, albeit practically overshadowed by the resentment Dash carried. But it wouldn't be that hard, really, to cultivate those feelings into something... bigger. All she needed to do was give those feelings a chance to grow. To let herself stop fighting and see where they led her. The question was, was it worth it? Was it worth finally facing her fear of risking everything and potentially losing it all? Was it worth taking that plunge?

And Rainbow Dash didn't know.

Not yet, anyway. She needed more time. For now, though, she knew one thing: whatever else happened, she was curious, at least. Curious to see what else Mare Do Well had in store. And for now, there was one thing she could do, even if she wasn't sure about anything else; she could write that reply.

Brushing her mane and trying to smile. Washing her face to hide the evidence of tears. Trying to pull herself back together in time to face the others. A knock at the door, and a servant with a message. Heart pounding, she opened it, almost afraid to see what it said.

So you're just gonna hide the whole time? That's crazy you know. You're not just selfish you're a total whackjob too. What if I wanted to see you huh?

She turned red. Yet even as she flushed, she felt herself smile. That was flirty, wasn't it? It meant Rainbow Dash did want to see her. It wasn't just sarcasm. Right?

The mask didn't just protect her identity; it also spared her untold embarrassment. She blushed a lot around Rainbow Dash, likely more than a normal pony could take without exploding; both because of the ridiculously over-the-top behavior she fell into as Mare do Well and just because being so close to her crush could be more than she could take at times. Now, though, she had no mask to hide the heat on her cheeks. Luckily she was alone.

She had promised herself that if Rainbow Dash ever truly wanted her gone, she would stop, but even when Rainbow told Mare Do Well to leave, there was always that flicker of untruth in her eyes or hesitance in her gestures. And Rainbow Dash always, always came back, even though nothing was making her. When she'd said she hated Mare Do Well, the pegasus had still hugged her back.

If Rainbow Dash felt some hesitancy or somehow indicated that she didn't entirely mean it, Mare Do Well took it to mean she had permission to continue. Maybe that was a mistake on her part, but she was desperate. And now, Dash was responding to the notes. A small degree of hope was sufficient to give the birth of love, and as long as there was some possibility of something good coming out of all this, she didn't want to stop. It would all be worth it in the end. Somehow. That's what she needed to believe, at least.

Rainbow Dash wanted to see her. She'd implied as much. The thought of it made her happier than she'd been in a long, long time. In the past, a negative, jeering little voice might have taunted her with her own insecurities – saying, she doesn't want to see you, she wants Mare Do Well. She doesn't even know you. But the act had been slipping lately, more and more often, with more of her real self shining through, and still, Dash wanted to see her. It meant that Rainbow Dash accepted what she saw, as broken as it was. She was okay with it. And that was the most important thing in the world.

Friendship – true friendship, the kind the six of them shared – was supposed to be able to withstand anything. It stood strong against Nightmare Moon and Discord, and could easily do the same against anything else that fate threw their way.

First love and the fears and uncertainty it brought with it was a new kind of threat, granted, but whoever else she was, Mare Do Well was one of Rainbow Dash's friends beneath that mask, and Rainbow Dash always stuck by her friends through thick and thin. Falling in love didn't have to mean losing everything, so why were they so afraid? Fluttershy had stood by her and continued to do so, and Rainbow Dash stood by Pinkie. Whoever Mare Do Well was, whatever happened between them, they could get through it. They would recover.

All Rainbow Dash needed to do was figure out what she wanted to come out of all this. Did she just want to know who Mare Do Well was for her own curiosity? Did she want closure, or did she want to spare her pride? Was she willing to pursue some kind of relationship with the mare after this was all over, or did she just want their friendship to return to normal? What was she hoping for?

The love was there. There was nothing she could do to change that. Dash had been thinking of Mare Do Well as some kind of separate entity, but that wasn't right; she was just another side to one of her friends, and she almost couldn't help but love her because of it.

The attraction was there. How much of it was due to genuine interest and how much of it was in response to Mare Do Well's advances, Rainbow didn't know. She didn't even know if she was willing to test it and find out. Half of her wanted to and half of her wanted to stay in hiding under the blankets.

She was still lost in thought when the knock came, and Dash jumped. She hadn't expected an answer so soon.

The unicorn colt from before stood there with a new note. He looked exhausted; not as terrified as before, but still nervous. But honestly, Rainbow Dash didn't especially care about how he was doing, so she didn't ask. She snatched the message out of the air where it floated in a magical bubble beside him without a word, then slammed the door in his face.

She shouldn't have been this excited, the pegasus reflected as her eyes skimmed the contents of the missive, but she really couldn't help it. It was a physical thing, one she had no control over. If her heart thudded in her chest and her mouth smiled automatically, well, too bad, wasn't her fault.

You want to see me? That's adorable, she read.

One line in and she had to close her eyes to keep herself from accidentally reading more. She felt her chest constrict, growing tight around her heart. It was almost more than she could take.

Rainbow Dash wasn't adorable. Nopony thought that about her. Fluttershy was adorable. Twilight was adorable. Pinkie was adorable. Rainbow Dash was tough and spunky and rough around the edges. Not adorable, definitely not, and nothing she did could be considered such.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Rainbow Dash opened her eyes and continued to read.

You want to see me? That's adorable. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's become hopelessly attached. Don't worry, it's barely a week before we're back in Ponyville.

Below this was a crude doodle of a pony wearing a hat and cape. A rough, clumsy drawing, similar to what a foal or an amazingly untalented artist would produce, labeled: So you don't forget what I look like.

Oh, Celestia. That was adorable. She shouldn't be allowed to do such cute things, things that made Rainbow Dash really, really want to see her. It was just plain unfair.

It was difficult to say why, but she felt giddy as she read the note, practically trembling with restrained excitement. The mood she was in right then made her want to stay in that room all day, exchanging replies back and forth; but she couldn't. Pinkie was expecting her so they could go to the derby, and nopony broke a Pinkie Promise.

Rainbow Dash could see the VIP box from their place in the stands, and suppressed a longing sigh. She could only imagine what was going on in there.

She tried to comfort herself by remembering Rarity's vivid descriptions of the sophisticated, high-class ponies she'd met the one and only time she'd ever attended such a derby. Rarity had seemed gleeful enough that she'd been included among their ranks at the time, but Rainbow Dash had been bored out of her mind, disgusted that such ponies would even be at a Wonderbolts event. She just needed to hold on to that feeling of disgust, or else the jealousy she felt would consume her instead.

Unfortunately, Pinkie seemed to notice the bitterness simmering under the surface, and kept casting nervous glances towards Rainbow.

"Are you sure this is okay?" she'd asked over and over again upon their first arriving, sounding uncharacteristically anxious. "I mean, you totally don't have to, Dashie. I know this was important to you. You don't have to give up your pass for me."

"I want to," Rainbow Dash had stubbornly replied more than once, more to convince herself than Pinkie. It was mostly true, anyway. She wanted to spend time with Pinkie. She wanted to go the derby. She wanted Pinkie to stop looking so guilty, as if this was somehow the end of the world, because if she didn't, Rainbow Dash might start to agree and change her mind. Ideally, she would've somehow been able to miraculously find a second pass, and she and Pinkie could've gone to the VIP box together and had a blast. But unfortunately, life didn't seem to work out in her favor very often; so she settled for second best, and found a stallion who gave her two normal tickets in exchange for the pass, just as she'd both hoped for and prayed against.

It hadn't occurred to her before, but would Mare Do Well be angry? The pass had been a present, after all, and the mare didn't seem especially fond of Pinkie. If she knew that Rainbow Dash had traded it in to take Pinkie Pie, too, would she have a total freakout or something?

But that didn't seem to matter as much once Rainbow Dash was waving the tickets at Pinkie, and she saw the way the pink pony's eyes lit up. Any lingering worries seemed to melt away right about then. After all, all Rainbow Dash wanted was to find a way to make it up to Pinkie, to fix the rift that had appeared between them. If this was a way to accomplish that desire, then so be it.

"This is going to be so fun!" Pinkie squealed when they found seats somewhere in the stands.

The seats weren't great. They could see, at least, but they were lost in a sea of rowdy ponies who came to see the derby as well, bodies pressing against them from all sides and forcing them to sit uncomfortably close, a fact Pinkie instantly took full advantage of by squeezing Rainbow Dash in a fierce hug.

"Oh, totally," Rainbow Dash agreed in a mutter as she squirmed to pull away, but Pinkie didn't let go. Finally, she gave up and settled herself against Pinkie Pie. She smelled like sugar and warm bread. Sweet, homey kind of smells, befitting the bakery she worked in. That was probably it, Rainbow decided. She worked in Sugarcube Corner, so naturally she picked up some of the scents found there.

"Who do I cheer for? You said you'd tell me who the bestest ones are!" Pinkie demanded in a comically serious way.

"Oh, um..."

She was spared the need to answer by the announcer's voice coming in over the loudspeaker.

"Aaaaand... they're off!"

Maybe she should have paid more attention. Maybe she should have listened to the announcer, or possibly the sound of cheering crowd and stomping hooves that rang through the bleachers. Maybe she should have watched the race, or at least decided who she was going to root for based on who she knew was flying. She couldn't actually place a bet – she didn't even have any bits on her, anyway – but when watching a race, Rainbow Dash always, always chose a preferred contestant to support. That was just what she did. But it was exceptionally hard to concentrate with Pinkie gripping her neck that way and hollering in her ear as she bounced in her seat, causing Rainbow to bounce as well.

"Dashie, what's wrong?" Pinkie asked during a lull in the roar of the crowd, still retaining her iron grip around Rainbow's neck.

"Can't breathe," the pegasus managed to gasp. "Let go!"

Pinkie instantly did so. No goofy reply, and Rainbow Dash almost felt guilty. They may not be broken yet, and they may have been recovering, but things were still a little strained between them. They couldn't joke quite as easily as they used to, and it would be a long, long time before things were fully back to normal.

Pinkie scooted away just far enough to now be completely avoiding physical contact on her either side, and the absence of her touch was almost painful. Rainbow Dash craved affection the way a pony stranded in the desert for a hundred years would crave water. Ponies were so rarely gentle with her; to be treated with love and care was a new and strange experience, once she was still getting used to, but once that she wanted desperately and that Pinkie had always been good for in the past.

So wordlessly, she drew closer, scooting nearer to Pinkie and earning herself a look of wide-eyed surprise in return, an expression that she made a pointed effort to avoid. But then the shock on Pinkie's face gave way to an enormous grin, and then with a squeal of delight Pinkie was once again clutching her in her relentless grip and shrieking in excitement along with everypony else. And soon, so was Dash. The race didn't really matter that much.

It was so close to Hearth's Warming by now that most of the shops in Canterlot were trimmed in festive colors, decorated with bells and garlands and hearts. The ponies milling about the streets were all going about their business, visiting friends and doing last minute gift shopping, all decked out in hats and scarves and coats. It almost made Rainbow Dash feel self-conscious, and she chose to focus more on the crunch of snow under her hooves and the way her breath hung in the air in puffs of white. The cold didn't really bother her now; maybe she'd spent so many nights out in the alley that she'd gotten used to it – the chill that took everypony else by surprise each winter without fail.

The derby had ended, and Dash had barely paid attention to a thing the way she might have in the past. If anypony had asked her about it, she wouldn't have been able to answer their questions. Pinkie, though, still seemed high off of the excitement of it all, literally bouncing her way through the city as they made their way back to the palace. Rainbow Dash followed a ways behind her, wondering at the energy Pinkie always seemed to have about her. How come she was never able to summon such verve?

"Want to just hang out in town for a while?" Rainbow asked on a whim. The words came out sounding wrong, made strange by the way her suddenly-dry mouth choked them out. She was sweating, but it was freaking cold, so why would she be hot?

Pinkie whipped around, curls bouncing, looking surprised, and before she could speak, Rainbow Dash hastened to add, "We can find a coffee shop or something, and just get hot chocolate. Or whatever." As if further exposition would somehow make her sound less awkward.

Pinkie Pie giggled in what was likely the closest approximation to a literal tee hee that Rainbow Dash had ever heard. "That sounds really super-duper nice, Dashie, but we don't have any money, silly filly," she reminded the pegasus, and Dash wanted to kick herself. She'd completely forgotten about accidentally leaving her wallet behind.

"Oh," she mumbled. "Right. Never mind."

She started to bolt forwards, so that she wouldn't have to look at Pinkie's gentle teasing smile, but something stopped her; literally, yanking her back. Rainbow Dash turned and saw Pinkie spit out her tail before grinning.

"You know what?" she said, eyes shining. "I think I have a couple of bits with me after all! I always have money for snacks, you know."

"That's okay, you don't –"

"It's fine! I mean, you were super nice to invite me today, and I had a lot of fun, so this way I get to return the favor and everything!"

The look in Pinkie's eyes seemed to soften a little. Not in sadness or anger; they just became gentler, somehow, as they watched the pegasus.

Pinkie who was so happy just to be with her friends, who carried a quiet, peaceful kind of calm within her that always seemed to be reserved just for Dash. Whatever else she could be – hyper maniac Pinkie or scary breakdown Pinkie or horribly sad and lonesome Pinkie – this was a part of her, too. The Pinkie who loved everypony was always at the heart of it all.

Her curly, bubblegum pink mane was getting dusted with the softly falling snow, and unless Rainbow Dash was imagining it, she almost seemed to be trembling a little, maybe from the cold. If Rainbow Dash had had a scarf or a hat, she would've given it to her in a heartbeat. But as it was, maybe they just really needed a hot chocolate to warm themselves up.

The hot chocolate they ended up getting from a nearby café was beautiful, but tasted like sawdust. Still, it was almost pretty enough to make up for that, piled high with whipped cream and chocolate flakes. It was more like eating some kind of especially decadent dessert than enjoying a drink.

Once she'd managed to dig her way through the toppings and take a sip of the actual drink below, Rainbow Dash grimaced. "Yours is better," she informed Pinkie. "Loads better."

And Pinkie beamed before taking a noisy slurp of her own chocolate. When she set down her mug, there was a touch of whipped cream on her nose.

In a cheesy movie, maybe Rainbow Dash would've leaned forward and wiped it off for her, and Pinkie would've blushed cutely, and then –

But Rainbow barely had time for the thought to enter her head before Pinkie caught sight of her reflection in the polished tabletop. "Oopsies!" she giggled, wiping her face with a hoof and licking off the cream, and Rainbow Dash relaxed, settling back in her seat, almost feeling a little let down.

If Pinkie kissed her now, that implacable sweetness probably would've been replaced with the taste of chocolate. Or maybe whipped cream.

After their drinks, the two of them didn't dawdle in Canterlot much longer, heading straight back to their rooms in the palace. Rainbow's was the first room they came across, and Pinkie bounded along inside as well before Rainbow Dash could say anything.

"Brrr, I'm all shivery and shaky now!" she announced, flopping onto Rainbow's still-unmade bed. Apparently the servants hadn't been around to clean yet.

It was only when Pinkie had already jumped into the bed that Rainbow Dash remembered.

"Wait!" she shouted. "Don't –"

But it was too late.

The note was still in the bed. She'd been in a hurry to leave, so as not to be late, and hadn't bothered to stash it in the drawer where she'd been keeping the rest of Mare Do Well's letters. Since nopony had been around to clean yet, it was still exactly where she'd left it; carelessly forgotten by the pillow, where she'd reread it at least a million times earlier that day.

Pinkie had already found it. She was already reading it. There was nothing Rainbow Dash could do but watch in a panic, wings spread wide in a defensive display against whatever Pinkie might do now.

"What does she mean by you wanting to see her?" she asked. No anger or tears or complicated fake smiles that could've given Dash the slightest indication as to what was going through her head right then. Instead, she was utterly blank, face and voice void of any emotion whatsoever. Dead.

She didn't sound like a pony demanding answers, more like a teacher quizzing a student, and Rainbow Dash didn't know the right answer.

"Um –"

"You must really like her." In a matter of fact way.

"Uh, I –"

"Even though she's basically a stranger and you don't know her at all."

"Pinkie, I just –"

Pinkie silently set the letter back on the mattress and slid off the bed, walking to the door, no bouncing or skipping, leaving Rainbow Dash to stare after her helplessly. At the doorway, she stopped and turned, glancing back at the pegasus.

"Mare Do Well isn't real," she said, looking Dash dead in the eye, still carefully empty of any feeling that Rainbow Dash might have known how to deal with. "Nothing about her is real. She's a bad pony and she's hurting you for selfish reasons. You shouldn't like her."

"Don't tell me what to do," Rainbow Dash snapped before she could help herself, a move she instantly regretted when she saw the hurt flit across Pinkie's face.

"I had fun today," was all Pinkie Pie said in response. And then she was gone.

Everything that had been good and happy about that day was ruined now. And what did that even mean, don't tell me what to do? Could she have said anything stupider?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

By the ache Rainbow Dash now felt in her chest, she knew that something had gone horribly wrong, and she couldn't even say what. She hadn't done anything bad. Under normal circumstances, nothing that had happened could've been misconstrued as a mistake on her part, right?

So somepony had sent her a letter. So what? Pinkie had no right to be mad about that. And the pass had been a present, so what Dash did with it was none of Mare Do Well's business.

She had betrayed somepony and she didn't know who or why or how. All Rainbow Dash knew was that she felt utterly consumed by guilty feelings whose origin she couldn't determine.

Her friendship with Pinkie was strong enough to survive this. She had to remember that. Everything was going to be okay. So why did she want to cry?

When she ran into Pinkie later during the play rehearsal the six of them held in the afternoon, she acted like nothing had happened. She eagerly recounted the events of the derby to their friends, and Rainbow had nothing to contribute, seeing as how she could barely remember what had happened. All she remembered was the dead look in Pinkie's eyes when she read Mare Do Well's note.

The first moment she had alone, she wrote one last note.

Don't write to me anymore.

She didn't say leave me alone. She didn't say I never want to see you again. And Rainbow Dash hoped that Mare Do Well would understand that, even if she didn't fully understand it herself. It would be nice to still have somepony who liked her. Even if it was somepony she had no idea what she really felt about.