A wave of Zerglings surges forth in front of the Tyranid. By some miracle, none of the demon grasshoppers are squashed by the Tyranid’s boulder feet. They all scurry out of the way right before the monster takes a step and smashes a crater out of the ground. It’s like the Zerg are synced up in a hive mind of some sort.

The mega tree the Tyranid knocked over in his spectacular entrance falls to the ground, right on top of the Protoss army. The tree is so large it takes a while to fall, long enough for the Protoss to get out of the way. The Protoss clear as the mega tree slams into the earth with enough force to send a cloud of soldiers and Stalkers flying. Nobody looks like they got crushed, but the tree split the army in half. The rim of that trunk is as thick as a Blackwatch airship, so there’s no way the Protoss are climbing that thing. The Protoss army is now two smaller armies, whether they like it or not.

Ceretel and I are on the side with the Tyranid, and the Tyranid is charging straight towards us. Joy.

“The Immortals,” Ceretel says, “Where are our Immortals?” He looks back at the army behind us, searching for these Immortals of his. “Oh, we have no Immortals.”

“We don’t need any stinking Immortals,” I say, grinning at Ceretel. “You got me.”

The alien stares at me for a moment. “I’d rather have Immortals.”

The wave of Zerglings crashes into us. Most fan out to attack the army, but a few leap for our throats. I ditch the shield and shift out my monster claws, slashing the first Zerg to leap at my face. Ceretel joins in and slices apart his share of attacking Zerg with his plasma blades. Together, we make short work of the Zerglings, though Ceretel comes out with fewer wounds than me. A couple of those buggers got their claws in my chest.

A Zergling leaps for Ceretel’s backside. I dice it before it nails him, spraying the soldier with the demon hopper’s guts. Ceretel glares at me with his glowing eyes. I shrug. “Got your back,” I say.

Ceretel doesn’t reply. Instead, he ducks.

The world turns into a blur when a giant, metal baseball bat whacks me in the ass and strikes me out of the ball park. I think I feel a shock cone form around me, but I don’t have time to figure it out before all I feel is my body pancaking against the downed mega tree. Ow.

I peel my face off the bark, along with my arms, legs, and torso. The tentacles are hard at work pulling my body back into a not flat shape. Ugh, what the heck hit me? As I peel off the tree bark, I turn around to see who the batter was. What I get is the sight of the Tyranid charging full speed at me, flexing its blades in anticipation of cutting me into tiny bits.

Oh, so the Tyranid was the batter. How in Tartarus did that beast tank sneak up on me?

The Tyranid barrels through the mega tree without stopping. The tree ruptures into a cloud of splinters as he plows through it. Before he gets a chance to rip me apart, I super jump off the tree and flare my wings out for a glide. The thing is a giant meat fortress! How is anyone supposed to kill that? It turns towards the army on the other side of the tree and barrels for them. The Stalkers unload their magic blasters at the Tyranid. While effective against the smaller Zerg, their bolts do nothing against the big guy. They just splash off his bulk.

The Protoss scatter to get out of the way of the giant meat battering ram. The soldiers at the edge of the army run clear from the beast while the Stalkers teleport to a different part of the battlefield. I didn’t know they could do that.

The soldiers who can’t run or teleport realize their predicament, so they double down and charge straight at the Tyranid. They raise their blades and let out a battle cry as they face down the humongous Zerg. The Tyranid doesn’t care. He winds up one of his massive blades and wipes it across the battlefield, knocking all the charging soldiers into the air in one blow. Some disappear in puffs of blue light when the blade cuts through them. Others turn into light puffs when they hit the ground, miles away from the strike zone. The area that the Tyranid cut through is now eerily empty.

Sweet mercy, forget the worm. This monster is going to be the death of the Protoss army. It just slew a whole regiment of soldiers with one strike! I can’t have it kill the Protoss. I need the Protoss to get home! The Tyranid is going to ruin that.

I’m going to have to fight this thing, aren’t I? Hopefully the Protoss can help out. Hopefully.

My wings angle me in the direction of the Tyranid. They fold in and I dive towards the giant. Got no plan, just winging this, pun intended. Pray to Grover this won’t be the end of me. My claws shapeshift into tumors, and I wind up to rain down a beat down from the sky. If I aim for the right spot, I wonder how big of a concussion this will give –

The Tyranid’s head whips back, and its ultra blade swats me out of the sky. It’s like someone whacking me with a stone pillar, except sharper. A beast this size should not be this quick. It’s unsettling. A thousand tons of force from the flat side of a giant bone cleaver sends me careening for the trees.

Tree bark and flesh smack together when I collide with a mega tree. The back of my skull shatters on impact. I can feel the bone shards shoot around inside my head. Then i feel the tentacles patching them back up. It makes a grinding, clicking noise when they stick back up. Eww, I can hear it inside me.

I grip the tree as I pull myself off the bark. This Tyranid means business. Guy whipped me out of the sky with just a flick of the blade. Military tradition be damned, my ancestors didn’t have to fight something like this! Wait, scratch that. There was Arimaspi, but that was more of a draw.

The Tyranid continues to plow through the Protoss ranks, but it does something odd. It takes a hard turn right, cutting a chunk out of the army as it does so. It keeps turning until it is running back towards the forest. Is it running from the army? Did the Protoss do enough damage to it that the giant needs to retreat?

When it makes a complete one eighty, I realize the Tyranid’s not running away. It’s coming after me!

Of course it’s coming for me. Why wouldn’t it? Everything in the universe wants me dead. Blackwatch, Blacklight monsters, alicorn princesses, and now a giant demon rhino. I’m not allowed a break. Why would I think otherwise?

The Tyranid closes the distance faster than I want. It rears up its boulder legs and slams them down on the trunk of my mega tree. At my height, the tree swings back by several feet. Wood cracks and creaks and several large nuts come falling down. I cling onto the bark when the tree rubber bands back the other way. This is sort of like when a dog chases a cat up a tree, except it’s scaled up to stupid sizes and the dog is a giant demon bug thing. Bad day to be a cat.

The tree bounces back again, and the Tyranid times his next hit with the swing. The extra power pushes the tree even further. The giant presses down, and I hear a loud wood crack run up the tree. My tree doesn’t rubber band this time. Instead, it keeps going until its falling down. Wind rushes over me and my guts lurch up to my spine as I fall with the tree. Timber!

These are incredibly tall trees, and I am incredibly high up. As my vertical distance rapidly turns into horizontal distance, I descend deep into the forest. The Protoss army disappears behind a thick line of mega trees, and I’m thrown into the darkness of an alien forest.

My tree smashes and crashes into other trees as it falls. Each impact almost flings me off with the shock. Leaves and bark and seeds are flying all over the place. Finally, after a good minute of falling, the tree slams onto the forest floor. My chin smacks into the bark, and I lose my grip and go flying from the rebound. When I land, I bounce of the ground a few times before eating the dirt and skidding to a stop. Note to self, never become a lumberjack.

Hold up, this isn’t dirt. This is some kind of goop. It moves and shifts when I touch it. Is the ground alive? I spit the goop out as I get up. At least it’s not sticking to me.

It’s dark here. My night vision kicks in as I look around. The forest canopy is so thick, no light is reaching down here. It’s like a massive cavern, where it’s so dark only the blind can find their way around. The blind, and monsters with night vision. Lucky me I fall into category B.

Here’s a fun thought. These woods are where the Zerg are pouring out of. I’m deep in Zerg territory now. The Protoss are nowhere near to give me support. I can’t hear the sounds of battle anymore. In fact, I can’t hear much at all. It’s quiet here.

Damn, that tree was tall.

Something runs past me. I flip around to find what went by, but it’s only me and the giant trees. Well, that’s unnerving. My monster claws shift out, ready to strike at whatever comes after me.

A distant shriek fills the air, but I don’t know where it came from. I turn and flip, keeping my claws extended, but I see nothing creeping towards me. Oh come on, this is clearly turning into a horror comic. Lone girl lost in the woods all by herself, with unseen monsters lurking behind the darkness. It’s a damn cliché. Here’s the kicker, I should be the monster, because I am a monster! I should be the one stalking the poor girl to death, not the other way around!

Lurking behind the darkness, that’s where the Zerg has to be. Another shriek echoes across the woods, but I can’t find its source for the life of me. I can’t be alone here. That begs a great question. This is a Zerg forest, so where are all the Zerg?

My monster hearing doesn’t pick up anything. The only sound I got is the slurping sound the goop is making every time I take a step. Not a pleasant sound. Seriously, where the heck is everybody? If the Zerg are going to attack me, they better do it soon. Despite what other ladies might be into, I’m not much of fan of getting teased like this.

Maybe if I pretend to let my guard down, they’ll come out. My monster claws shift to normal, and I walk over the goop. Hmm, nothing’s jumping out at me. I lean up with a claw against a nearby tree. The Zerg might not be that interested in –

YEOW! I Yank my claw back, and a chunk of the tree comes with it. The tree bit me! The tree freaking bit me! I try shaking the bark off, but the wood won’t let go. With the other claw, I punch a hole right through the middle, and the bark lets go of my wrist and flies off.

As I’m shaking the pain out of my claw, a bright light catches my eye. The piece of wood goes up in a ball of green flame. It lights up the area around us, and messes with my night vision for a moment. The flame dies out. Gone is the tree bark, and in its place a Zergling crashes into the ground. The heck?

I walk up to the Zergling. The demon hopper is limp, and has a fist sized hole in its body. Hold up… the Zergling was the tree? Explains the bite, I suppose, but that leaves a few other questions open for discussion.

The tree seems to be normal, aside from a Zergling shape empty space in the bark. As a test, I walk up and slap a different part of the trunk. The bark moves in response to the slap, and then shrieks.

Ah, a shrieking tree. I hear if you chop one up and make some furniture out of it, the furniture will be forever doomed to squeak if you so much as touch it. Great for haunted houses.

The shrieking bark erupts in green flame, just like the Zergling I punched. The bark around this bark erupts in green flame as well, and soon the entire tree goes up in a green inferno. The surrounding trees light on fire as well. It’s a green forest fire!

The fires soon go out, and everything goes dark again. My night vision takes a moment to readjust again. Going from dark to light to dark again gives your eyes a workout. Once my night vision returns, it gives me a sight that makes my jaw drop. The entire tree, from trunk all the way up to canopy, is covered in a thick layer of Zerglings. It’s not just this tree, the other trees that lit up are also covered by the same layer of Zerg. Turns out I was never alone in these dark woods. The Zerg were with me all along!

Well… poop.

The swarms of Zerglings break out in mass shrieking, and they all leap from their trees all at once. Zerg rain bears down on top of me, and the sight stuns me enough that I don’t think I can move. It’s like a rain of spiders. You want to run but at the same time you just got to watch. Goes without saying I scream like a little girl. Good thing no one I care about is around to hear it.

Thousands of blades and fangs skewer me all at once. What the Zerglings are doing resembles the wet dream of a psychotic serial killer. My screams shift from that of terror to that of agonizing pain as the Zerg rend and tear me apart. My innards are supposed to stay inside my body, thank you very much!

Lucky for me, the Zerg aren’t the only ones with blades. From sheer willpower, I send blades throughout my body. The Zerg chewing on my back, they get a mouthful of blades. The Zerg stabbing their blades into my head, blades shear off their limbs. The Zerg that’s tugging on a loose strip of my meat, the meat wiggles and instantly grows a coat of blades. Blades, blades, everywhere is blades!

The tentacles go right on eating the Zerglings I slice up. Eat, tear, eat, tear, the cycle goes on. While I’m regenerating as fast as I can, I think the Zerglings are tearing a little faster. As the fight goes on, I notice some little things. My regeneration stitches things up a little less every time. Another blade gets past my defenses, adding to the blade storm going on in my face. The dog pile of alien monsters is growing thicker by the minute. Even with night vision, it’s getting hard to see what’s going on with all these bodies swarming me.

The best way I can describe my current predicament is if I’m getting buried alive, and someone keeps throwing dirt on top of the pile. Except it’s not dirt, it’s spiders. Everything is spiders!

Years of therapy won’t fix this.

Through the sounds of the shrieking and the stabbing and slashing, I hear something crackle. The air electrifies, and the tips of my feathers stand on end. There’s an overwhelming power coursing through the air, and I don’t think it’s coming from the Zerg.

Electricity goes everywhere. Light becomes all there is. The darkness of the forest and the Zerg pile dissipates as energy fills every gap of our beings. The silhouettes of Zerglings spasm and convulse. The pain the Zerg were inflicting on me doesn’t disappear. Instead, it changes into an intense burning that rips and tears on my nervous system instead of my meat. The energy sends my limbs flailing out of control in a crazy dance, just like the Zerg around me. Tongue and spit fly out of my beak. Eyes go two different directions. This is not pleasant.

As quick as it comes, the energy sputters out. It releases my body, and I collapse into a gasping heap. The Zerg around me fall to the ground as well. Some of them are twitching, but otherwise none of them move. It’s a field of demon hoppers with dead eyes and gaping mouths, and it all smells like BBQ. That energy did a bigger number on them then it did to me.

Some distance away, the sound of feet crunching on top of Zerg corpses approaches me. With some effort, I use my shaking limbs to push myself up to get a look. There, in the darkness, is a pair of blue glowing eyes.

My night vision returns, and I get a good look at who this is. He is Protoss, standing high and mighty on top of the dead Zerg pile. There are pieces of metal floating over his body, and a impressive cape billows from behind. I swear I can hear some mystical, heroic music playing behind him. I think the music is just residual brain damage.

The Protoss raises a leg on top of a bulge in the Zerg pile. He holds out both his hands, and lightning crackles between his fingers. “I heard a scream,” the Protoss says in my mind, “of a little, terrified girl. I came as quick as I could.” He glances at my fried feathers standing on end. One of them even has a little flame still burning. “Sorry about that. Storms aren’t known for being selective.”

The name of this Protoss pops in my head when my brain connections realign. Oh right, this is Ordaes. Crap, got to save face. “Yes, you’re right about the girl. There was a kid with a red hood. Loud little screamer. She left before the Zerg got here. She’s on her way to grandma’s house right now, so don’t worry about her. But thanks for the save, Ordaes. I owe you one there.”

Did he buy the story? I can’t tell with his faceless face of his. He lowers his arms and cocks an eyebrow, I think. “You know I can hear your thoughts when you monologue to yourself. None the less, you owe me nothing. If anything, I just repaid my debt to you for slaying the Nydus Worm. You have my eternal thanks for that.”

I give him a thumbs up. “Cool. Is the battle over yet? I’d like to get home soon, if you guys will help me on that.”

The Protoss shakes his head. “Our battle is far from over, but we do make progress. As I speak, my forces are pushing into the forest, though we do so carefully. The Zerg are in the trees, waiting to ambush us, just like they did to you moments ago. They are hidden by a strange green flame that not even our Observers can see past.”

My gut clenches up from the thought. I glance back into the forest to see if there are any more Zerg. Nothing, there’s only trees and darkness. “There are more out there?”

“Many.”

“That sounds like a nightmare.”

“It is. This battle is the first time they shown such abilities. My brothers are still trying to learn how to best deal with them. The Zerg are a cunning foe, but the hearts of the Protoss will not falter against them, no matter what tricks the monsters may pull.”

“Well that’s noble.” That’s not sarcasm. I really do think that’s a noble sentiment. It would make my ancestors proud. Of course I’m not talking about the ancestors from the Griffon Kingdom. The military went downhill when we switched to straight up monarchy. No, I’m talking about the ancestors from the old Griffon Empire.

Everyone keeps on forgetting we griffons had an empire, even griffons to some degree. We pretty much had everything east of Equestria on lockdown. It was a big deal at the time. Shame they forgot. The most legendary griffons in history came from that empire. One of my big disappointments with Equestrian schools is they taught nothing about the glory of the old Griffon Empire. In fact, the curriculum barely had anything about griffons. The textbooks even mislabeled the pictures of male and female griffons!

Huh… the textbook thing explains a lot.

What was my point? Oh right, the Old Empire Griffons would be proud of me or something like that.

“Are you okay?” Ordaes asks. “Your mind is wandering there.”

I blink, then shake my head. “Yep, I’m good. The concussions are just catching up to me. So what about the Tyranid? Did you guys kill it yet?”

Ordaes stares at me for a moment. “What’s a Tyranid?”

“Executor!” Another mind voice yells from the darkness, and soon a group of Protoss soldiers comes running from the woodwork. Their gold armor and glowing blue eyes are a nice breath of fresh air in this dark cavern of a forest. “Executor, you’re in grave danger!” the front soldier calls again

“We’re always in danger, Ceretel. Be more specific.”

Ceretel skids to a stop on top of the Zergling bodies, and his companions stop right behind him. “The Ultralisk burrowed and is heading this direction. We must get you to safety before it attacks you!”

I cock my head in confusion. “What’s an Ultralisk?”

Ceretel ignores my question. “Immortals have reinforced our army. When we regroup they can annihilate the Ultralisk when it breaches.”

Ordaes brushes the soldier off. “I know we have Immortals. I ordered their construction. I left their protection unattended because our friend Gilda was in trouble.”

Ceretel glares at me. “You. How dare you bring our Executor into the arms of danger! Everything you do brings harm to the Protoss.”

I facepalm so hard I crack my skull in two. Seriously, I actually broke my skull there. I got the monster strength to do that. “How can you be this dense? I’ve done nothing but help you guys! Why do you still think I’m out to get you?!”

Before Ceretel can respond, presumably by shanking a plasma blade up my throat, the earth trembles. All the Protoss wobble on their feet, and even I’m thrown off balance. A primal instinct in me kicks in, and I yell out, “Get away!”

The ground erupts, dirt goes flying everywhere, and two giant blades surge from the dead Zerg pile. The Protoss run out of the way, and I dash off to the side to avoid getting chopped in half. We clear from the area before the Tyranid emerges from the ground.

It happens pretty quick, but I see enough to figure out what the heck happened. The Tyranid dug underground and is breaching the surface. Reminds me of a painting I saw a while back of a haunted ghost ship emerging from deep and breaking the waves. They say ghost ships are scary, but watching an alien as big as a ship dig its way out from under your feet is what’s really scary. How the heck does a monster that size dig underground anyways?

Following the blades comes the head and the battering ram crest. It shoots straight up into the air, then twists its body to land towards my direction. The Tyranid lands right behind me as I’m running away, and its blades encircle the area I’m in. The blades swing inwards to slice me in half, but I jump over them right as they almost cleave my feet off. I almost believe I’m out in the clear, but the blades swing out, clipping me in the back and batting me off into the darkness off the forest.

Fortunately I don’t hit any trees this time. I just skid, crash, and burn off the goopy floor. No big deal, shake it off and I’m back on my feet. My back is bent out of whack, though.

The ground shakes as the Tyranid stampedes for me. Huh, I’m starting to think this bastard has it out for me. There are two juicy Protoss targets right next to him and he decides to run after the griffon it knocked away. It didn’t even do a hit and run with the Protoss. I can still see their glowing eyes in the distance. The Tyranid doesn’t give a crap about them.

If the Tyranid is after me, then I doubt there’s much chance he’ll give up the chase if I run away. Not that I should run away. I need to stay near the Protoss so they can send me home. And if I leave the Tyranid on its lonesome, it’ll just wreck through the Protoss while I’m gone. I’m going to have to fight this thing, aren’t I?

An old lesson pops back in my head. Don’t run for your life in a skyscraper, or you’re going to run off the ledge. Or maybe it was don’t be a chicken. Eh, first one’s better.

As the Tyranid barrels for me, I stretch, crack a few bones, and stare the giant down. Alright Mister Alien Freak, you and I are going to have ourselves a good ol’ fashion tussle. No rules, last monster living wins.

The giant whacked me really far away. It’s still closing distance even after all this time thinking. Jeez, why does it look bigger than before? No, stop it Gilda, don’t chicken out. Make your ancestors proud.

The giant blades cleave for my neck. I jump over them before they cross. The Tyranid barrels underneath me, and I land right on top of his crest. He’s having none of that. The giant flings his crest to the side, and I go spiraling off. While I’m airborne, a blade comes up for a follow up and whacks me up higher through the forest.

Ugh, that last hit broke a lot of ribs. My wings flare out and I level off in a glide high above the Tyranid. His blades are massive, but they can’t reach me up here. The giant circles below me, waiting for me to come down. Does he know I can’t stay up here forever?

Before I plummet to the jaws of the alien, I glide towards the nearest tree and grab hold. The Tyranid follows me, and with one swing of a blade chops right through the trunk of the mega tree. The tree jolts and cracks as it falls down. I jump off and glide to the next tree, where the Tyranid follows me to.

My feet plant against this tree, and instead of grabbing hold, my wings fold in and I kick off towards the approaching giant. My tumorclaws shift out and I hold them in front of me as I dive down. The Tyranid raises his blades up at me and winds them for a mid air slice.

Right before I reach its strike range, my wings shoot out and give me a flap up, air dashing me out of the way of the giant’s swipe. The blades cut close enough for me to feel the wind graze my feet. I keep diving down and my fists collide against the Tyranid’s crest. The giant wails as its crest caves in, and the force of the blow sends him toppling over on his side.

I superjump away from the falling beast and land in a gooey clearing in the forest. I smile as I watch the Tyranid slam against a tree as it falls over. There’s a huge cavity where I struck it, and its crest is going lopsided from the damage. The blades are waving in the air in an effort to strike something, but I don’t think it’s in any good shape to hurt anything more than air.

Huh, that wasn’t too bad. Just got to knock the big guy off his socks. Seems like a well placed sucker punch will take down anything. If only my grandpa could see me now, beating the crap out of giant monsters, just like my ancestors. He’d shut up for once and stop calling me a deadbeat disappointment.

The celebration is cut short. The ground next to me bursts apart, and a creature I’ve never seen before climbs out. On first glance it kind of looks like a Hydralisk, except it has spider legs and a bulbous butt. Tentacles are waving out from the back of its head, and it’s a bit greenish. What the heck is this thing?

The creature doesn’t pay me any attention. It flat out ignores me. I think that’s good thing, probably. It opens its jaws wide, and an orange gas shoots out of its mouth like a firehose. The gas darts through the forest until it splashes against the downed Tyranid. The Tyranid shudders, and then by some miracle it gains new life and twists its body up do a standing position.

The creature turns off its gas hose, and the Tyranid is trotting around like it never got hit. My jaw drops when I see the massive crater in the giant’s crest heal up and become solid again. The crest not only patches up, but large, heavy duty scales with horns spurt out in an even pattern all over its body. They just budge out from its flesh and pop out like daisies. The Tyranid is growing a bunch of jagged rocks for a new set of armor.

I throw my claws up in the air. “What the heck? The thing heals up and it gets an armor upgrade?”

A crackling, hoarse, feminine voice comes from the creature next to me. “Chitinous plating, a result of our forced evolution. The Ultralisk can now withstand your attacks.”

The voice makes me jump out of my skin. “Zerg can talk?!”

The creatures turns its head to me. “I can.”

This is… bizarre. Since when do alien monsters talk? Not sure what to make of this. “Well… can you tell the big guy to stop attacking me? And everyone else?”

The creature makes a slimy clicking sound. Something tells me that’s how the thing laughs. “Our Brood Queen has ordered the swarm to tear you apart. The Ultralisk will hunt you down until you are shredded to pieces. Even if you defeat it, we will spawn as many as it takes to kill you.”

“Ah, pleasant.” Now I know why the Tyranid is choosing me over the Protoss. I don’t know why this “Brood Queen” wants me dead, but I don’t really care about that part. “So, if not me, mind leaving the Protoss alone?”

“We already are,” the creature, all matter in fact.

“Eh?”

The tentacles on the back of the creature’s head wiggle in agitation. “Despite my concerns, the Brood Queen has ordered the swarm to put aside the slaughter of the Protoss in order to focus on you. I know not why the Brood Queen would pursue such an inane goal, but it is not my place to question those above me.”

The ground rumbles, and a recently healed, recently armored Tyranid comes charging this way. I glare at the creature next to me and shift out my monster claws. “Since you’re not with me”-

The creature spits. A needle shoots out of its mouth and nabs me right between the eyes. The needle flies out the back of my head and sprays my brains all over the ground. It stuns me long enough for the creature to dig down and disappear underground. Well screw you too!

The Tyranid barrels for me. The tumor claws shift out. Eh, I can dance for a while longer. I’ll have to kill that creature when I get a chance to stop it from healing the Tyranid. Just like last time, I jump over the blades when it slashes for me. But instead of landing on the crest, I slam down on it with the tumorclaws.

The claws smash into the giant’s armor, but its skull doesn’t cave in. Instead, its rocky scales crack under the fist, and they shatter under the blow, leaving the monster underneath unscathed. Well, that’s a problem.

The Tyranid whips forward and sends me tumbling to the ground. I go splat on the goopy floor, right in the center of its blades. Seriously, what the heck is this stuff? This isn’t like any other forest floor I’ve ever seen.

The Tyranid grunts behind be. I flip around and ready to jump to dodge the blades, but he isn’t attacking with his blades. Instead, one of the boulders that is his feet hovers above my head, ready to slam down and squish me into goo. Hey, maybe that’s what the floor is made of, squished griffon.

The foot comes down like a city destroying meteor. Right before he does the deed, the sky lights up in a storm of lightning. The giant convulses as electricity arcs all over its body. The boulder foot draws back as the Tyranid stumbles backwards. I flip on my own feet and dash out of there, jumping past the blades and making it out to the clearing.

When I make it to relative safety, I flip around and look to see what’s happening. There’s a storm raging amidst the trees, tearing through the giant with bolts of lightning. Standing some distance away from the Tyranid, there’s a Protoss holding out a pair of glowing hands. Going off the flowing cape, I think that’s Ordaes over there. A group Protoss soldiers runs past Ordaes. These Protoss hold out their pairs of plasma blades and charge for the Tyranid. Five bits says the leader is Ceretel with some big balls.

The storm dies out, the forest goes dark once more, but the Tyranid is still feeling the effects. It wobbles around, trying to shake off the shock. The charging Protoss either dive under or jump over the blades and charge for the giant’s face. Their plasma blades stand out in the dark, and I see them slash into the giant’s armor. The Tyranid rears back from the attack and lets out a loud roar.

Huh, didn’t think I was going to get help on this thing. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts. I run towards the Tyranid, who is briefly distracted by the Protoss. The giant steps back and clears some distance between his face and the soldier squad. It’s enough distance to put them in the center of his blades. The giant flicks his head and sends a blade streaking for the group.

The blade would’ve chopped the soldiers in half if I didn’t stop it. Right as the blade swings, I superjump forwards and shift out my tumorclaws. As the blade cleaves through the air, I target the tip and slam into it tumors first. The blade impales the ground and scrapes into the earth, digging deep into the gooey floor. It makes a full stop mere feet away from the nearest Protoss’s face.

With the blade immobilized in the ground, I run up the edge with monster speed. The Tyranid tries to yank it out of the dirt, but one Protoss distracts him by slashing at his mouth. This gives me enough time to run up the entire length of the blade, and with a monster strength tumor punch I nail the Tyranid in the side if his head. The crack echoes for miles across the forest. Several of its scales shatter into flying shards, and the Tyranid stumbles off to the side from the force of the blast.

The familiar voice of Ceretel reverberates in my head. “Be gone. We don’t need you interfering with our battle any longer.”

The tumors shift to normal, and I clutch the edges of the not broken scales to get a good grip on the giant. “You just don’t want me hogging up the big kill,” I yell down to Ceretel. I think that’s Ceretel I’m looking at. All the Protoss look the same.

The skin under the scales I just broke off looks tough, but not as tough as the scales. A monster claw shifts out and I jam the blades into the exposed area. The Tyranid wails when my tentacles shoot out and dig through its flesh. It rears back and runs around the forest like a headless chicken. Can’t shake me off! I got a claw elbow deep in you, and then some!

A swish of light catches my eye. On the other side of the Tyranid’s head, a plasma blade plunges into the giant’s scales. Behind the blade, a Protoss rises up using the lodged blade as a handle. I think that’s Ceretel. He’s climbing the Tyranid. Damn, didn’t know he had it in him. The guy must have hopped on board the same time I did.

“Now you’re just copying me!” I yell over to him.

Ceretel stabs another blade into the monster and climbs further up the crest. A few of his buddies do the same thing, and soon Ceretel’s whole brigade is scaling the monster’s crest. His voice stands out among them. “I’m taking the clear path to victory. You’re just messing around!”

My tentacles keep digger, but they hit something hard. I try pushing past the hard point, but they don’t budge. Huh, wonder if the Tyranid has some anti-tentacle muscle in its head. Ah well, I’ll do with what I got. The tentacles stiffen, and I yank them out of the giant. A huge chunk of flesh rips out of the beast. Scales fall to the ground as the tentacles dissolve the fresh meat. It wasn’t a huge chunk, but there’s a decent sized hole in the side of the Tyranid’s head, so that counts for something.

The Tyranid flings his head around. The Protoss blades are still in the scales, so the flop around like ragdolls. One of them doesn’t have a strong grip and flies off the crest. I grab on a scale spike and the inside of the hole and hang tight. I almost fall off when the Tyranid crashes into a tree, and then plows into a second and third tree, but I hold on.

I yell over to Ceretel. “I wish I was messing around! This giant is a pain in the butt!”

“That makes two of you!” Ouch.

The hammer fist comes out, and I give it a swing around the world and smash away another layer of scales. The monster claw comes out and I dig into the patch of now exposed skin, and the tentacles go to work once more. “You want to lay off man? It’s pretty clear I’m trying to help the Protoss.”

The Tyranid rears its head back. In a gung-ho move, Ceretel takes this moment to turn off his plasma blades. Riding the monster’s momentum, he flings up the giant’s crest after letting go, then the plasma blades turn on again and he digs them into the scales. They leave an orange, glowing trail as he skids to a stop. “Your help means nothing. You could be from an enemy hive and are using my brothers as a tool to slay your foes.”

Again, the tentacles hit a hard layer. Again, I rip them out and take out a chunk of the Tyranid. The beast is getting a nasty scar from me. “Or maybe I’ve been telling you the truth the whole time and you just hate me because I’m not a blue glowing alien like you!”

Ceretel wedges a blade in between the edges of a scale. He cuts along the edge, and soon enough the scale pops off, leaving behind an exposed patch of skin with a smoldering rim to it. “That’s exactly it! You’re not Protoss. I have no reason to ever trust the likes of you.”

I grab a scale spike and fling myself up to Ceretel’s patch of skin. I grab on to the side and hold on. “So this is a race thing, huh? You and every other pony out there has some nerve to think us griffons are all untrustworthy, penny pinching scoundrels!”

“What you do with your pennies is none of my concern.” The Protoss stabs both his plasma blades into the skin patch. The Tyranid makes an immediate stop and nearly flings us both off. He lets out a wail unlike the ones before. I think we hit a nerve. “You’re a threat to the Protoss race. Our survival is the only thing I’m concerned for, not that of other races. You may trick my brothers into thinking you’re on their side, but I see the truth. You’re more threat than ally to us, and you’ll cut us down the moment we turn our backs to you.”

I look down at some of his brothers riding along with us. Most of them are distracted, though one does give me a shrug when I glance at him. “I’m staying out of this,” I hear him say. That makes me think they’re not all on board with Ceretel.

My monster claws plunge into the Tyranid alongside Ceretel’s blades. The Tyranid shudders and cries out even louder. We lurch to the side as it rams its body into a tree. “Look, we’re tearing this Tyranid together. Would your enemy ever do something like this?”

“Yes!” My tentacles spread out in a web underneath Ceretel. I don’t think he notices the bulges. “You’re not the only one we’ve encountered who twists their words. The Protoss have been betrayed by a gilded tongue before. My brothers are fools to think it won’t happen again. But I’m no fool. I’ll never forget!”

“But I’m not going to betray you. What’ I’ve been saying all along is the truth.”

The alien’s voice booms in my head. “Lies! Lies! Lies!”

As we attempt to bring the Tyranid closer to its deathbed, a new sound fills the air. It’s not coming from the Tyranid. It sounds like it coming from above us. Huh, why does it sound like deep disappointment with the world? Leaves rustle and branches snap from above. Bits of tree debris fall on top of us. Now’s probably a good time to look up.

Flying, no, floating in the tree canopy is something big. Not as big as the Tyranid, but it’s still pretty sizable. It’s a creature of some sort, with a large bulbous body with legs dangling down. There’s an insect head sticking out from the bottom of the thing. It looks like someone took a beetle and inflated it like a balloon. “What is that?”

The Tyranid almost throws him off with a thrash, but Ceretel shrugs it off and looks up. He just grunts. “Why are you pointing out simple things? That is an Overlord.”

The Overlord lazily drifts above us, following the rampaging Tyranid. “Is it dangerous?”

“No, they’re not. They just float around. Be quiet. You distract me with your questions.”

When the Overlord is right overhead, a sphincter on its underside opens up. From the sphincter, a little green ball pops out and fall towards us.

I point up. “So those aren’t dangerous?”

One of the soldiers below us yells, “Banelings!”

I throw up my shield like an umbrella, covering both of us just in time for the first green ball to hit. The Baneling explodes on top of my shield, and green glowing goop splashes all around us. The goop sizzles when it splashes against the Tyranid’s armor, letting off a putrid smell.

Another Baneling lands further up the crest. The green ball rolls down the ridges and aims for one of the Protoss down below. Right as it rolls past me, I knock it away with my shield and it bounces off. The Baneling flies over the Protoss, misses him, and lands in front of the Tyranid, where it explodes when the Tyranid steps on it with his boulder feet.

“Still think Overlords aren’t dangerous?” I yell at Ceretel. “Because they seem to be pretty fucking dangerous!”

Before Ceretel slaps me with the back of his blade, something soft and squishy bounces off my head. It falls between me and my shield, nesting itself at my feet. The heck? I look down, and a green ball unrolls, revealing a bloated demon face that looks back up at me. The thing looks like it’s about to puke all over me.

“Look out!” I yell. I jump back and grab Ceretel. The Baneling explodes in a cloud of green sludge. I hold the Protoss soldier as I fall off the Tyranid’s side and crash into the ground. The Tyranid stomps away from us, thrashing against the team of soldiers climbing its face.

“Woo, that was a close one,” I say. “Saved your life, didn’t I?” I let go of Ceretel, who’s lying on top of me now. Despite letting go, he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t berate me or call me names. In fact, he doesn’t even get off me. Ceretel is just staring at me with those blue glowing eyes. Strange, did he get hurt? I tap him on the side of the head. “Hey buddy, aren’t you a bit close for your comfort?”

He stares at me for a bit longer, then the Protoss erupts into green flame. I shield my eyes from the light, but the fire show is quick. The flames die down, and Ceretel is gone. All I see is a jagged mouth, dripping with green goop, attached to the bulbous form of a Baneling.

Shit!

I jam my shield between us, but I’m not fast enough. The Baneling explodes on top of me. The shield protects half my body from the sludge, but the other half of my body isn’t so lucky. Boiling acid dowses my unprotected side. I scream.

Acid melts eats my flesh. I jolt to my feet and run around, screaming obscenities and bloody murder. Ayayayayayaya! Sweet mercy, it burns! It burns! My body is melting. I’m melting! Is this what ice cubes feel like? Why do we put ice cubes through this?! Ice cubes are war crimes!

The acid eats its way to my throat, and my windpipe dissolves. I fall to the ground, gasping for air, except air isn’t coming in from my beak, it’s coming in from the hole in my neck the acid just made! Air pumps in and out of the hole, bursting little bubbles in the acid whenever I breath out and spreading it even more and some acid gets loose and sucks into my lungs when I breathe in and melts my esophagus and lungs and sets everything inside me on fire and heartburn heartburn heartburn!

I'm writhing on the ground. The tentacles are trying to heal up the damaged spots. Not helping, they’re just touching the acid and shriveling into soup. Stop trying to heal me! For once, just stop helping me!

After what feels like forever, the acid wears off. It doesn’t do so all at once, but gradually. The burning dies down in steps. I feel less compelled to flail on the floor. I’m gurgling the liquid remains of my own lungs but at least they’re not on fire anymore.

Once the acid is absolutely, positively done, the tentacles do actual work. Their patching skills aren’t hindered by constant dissolving, so at least I’m going to make it out all right.

Sweet mercy, I never want to get hit by one of those fuckers again.

A Zergling jumps out of nowhere and stabs me in the face. Damn it! I slash it in half and the tentacles absorb its guts. I hear another one of the buggers coming. Give a girl a break, man. I just got half melted! I jump up on my feet and cut the incoming demon in two. Its halves go skidding past my feet.

“If there’s one thing I can say that I like about you, it’s that you're fun to toy with.”

Who said that? That voice, it sounds familiar. I spin in circles trying to find where the voice is coming from. I can’t see anything in these woods, except for the Zergling pouncing for my face, but I cut that in half without a thought.

“But that’s the only thing I like about you, you overgrown omelet maker.”

Omelet maker? No, the voice isn’t in the woods. It’s in my head. “Show yourself,” I say. “Get out of my head and face me.”

“Mmm, if you insist.”

Another Zergling comes rushing out of the dark. I pose to strike it, but it doesn’t pouce me. Instead, it bursts into green flame, and a figure steps out from the blaze, a tall, insect horse figure. The figure gives me a toothy grin, and it clicks who I’m looking at.

“Hello, starlight.”

“Bug lady!” I yell. I pounce on the giant insect and slash it apart with my claws. She disappears in a puff of flame and an eviscerated Zergling falls apart at my feet.

Another burst of flame comes from behind. I turn to face the bug lady, who is laughing maniacally and overall unscathed. “After all this time, you’re still the fool I know.”

I seethe. “Bug lady, I should have known it was you!”

The towering insect horse gives me a flat look. “Would you, though? I thought my minions shape shifting in front of your eyes would give me away. But you’re acting so surprised to my appearance, it makes me wonder if you are capable of any rational thought. Of course I already know the answer to that.”

I slash at the bug lady. She backs away to dodge, ignites in green flame, and a Hydralisk pops out with a flaring crest and nabs me in the chest with a needle. I ignore the hit and slice the demon cobra in half. “I thought I was done with you!”

“Oh contraire, we’re not done,” her voice says in my head. “You merely misplaced me. Because of you, I’ve been trapped in this realm for over a year now. There is nothing I want to do more than rend you apart for your actions! Lucky for me, I made some new friends here.

The ground bursts apart in a ring around me. Creatures with thick shells and blades sticking out of their shoulders emerge. Jagged beaks take up most of their head areas. They kind of look like turtles from Tartarus, sort of, although they remind me more of mutant roaches. Eh, Roaches are a better name.

The Roaches open their maws and a green bile spews out at me. I super jump over the ring, avoiding the bile. My tumor fist comes out and crushes the Roach I land on with a satisfying splat.

“The Zerg were surprisingly easy to take over,” bug lady says. “All I needed was a little bit of mind magic and boom, instant army under my command. Even Shining Armor wasn’t this easy to enchant. Heck, he put up a fight, futile as it was. My new friends here just let it happen. It’s as if the Zerg want to be mind controlled! How crazy is that?”

The Roaches vomit at me again, and I hop out of the way. Their puke sizzles on the ground, though it isn’t as intense as the Baneling’s acid. Eh, don’t want to deal with these guys. I high tail it out of there with monster speed. There are other things I need to get done, and those Roaches are just distracting me.

“That’s not to say it was all a smooth ride. There was another creature before me who controlled the Zerg, a Brood Mother. She was not happy with me when I stole half her forces. The Brood Mother waged a war against me in retaliation. It was the biggest mistake of her life.”

I run past a large tree that ignites in green flame. From the flame, a hoard of Hydralisks slither down and spit their needles at me. I throw up the shield and the spike bombardment impales into the hardened tentacles.

“I’ll admit, that Brood Mother posed a considerable threat. Our armies were equally matched, neither able to get the upper fang on the other. It came down to a one on one battle between us leaders. While she was far more powerful than anything Equestria could throw at me, the outcome of our fight was determined long before we laid eyes on each other.”

With the Hydras to my side, I block their attacks with the shield and bolt through the forest. Before I get to far, the figure of the bug lady crosses my path. She walks in front of me with elegant arrogance, giving me that smug smile of hers. I know it’s not the real bug lady. Probably a Zergling or, if she’s getting creative, a Hydra.

“I won, because I have something she didn’t,” her faux form says. “Do you know what that something is? I’ll be disappointed if you don’t know, since you essentially stole it from me.”

I slash the bug lady’s form in half. The form doesn’t turn into green flame. Instead, it splatters into green goop. My claw plows through a ball of acid and my arm gets a good wallop of the stuff. I scream in agony as the acid takes its time dissolving my arm into goop and vapor.

“It’s the same thing that lets you survive popping a Baneling without much consequence.” The mind voice barely registers above the searing pain in my arm, but I still hear it. “Sure, you’re in agony right now, but you’ll heal up and be good as new in a few moments. I know that, because I can do it too. We share the same thing.”

I don’t answer. I just wail as the acid turns my arm into Swiss cheese.

“If you’re not going to answer, then I’ll do it for you. It’s Blacklight, child. We both have Blacklight in us, although mine is a more evolved strain than yours. Mine adapted to use Equestria’s magic, while yours is only the common, magic repellant strain. But we are the same in one regard. We cannot die. The Brood Mother didn’t expect someone who has transcended death to take her brood away. Her defeat was inevitable” - a loud slurping sound echoes in my mind -“and delicious!”

Sweet mercy, end the pain! I slice my own arm off with a monster claw. It comes with a burst of pain, but relief soon follows as I don’t feel my arm melting anymore. The arm hits the ground and curls up as the acid breaks down the muscle. Worth it.

“Hey, are you listening to me? The least you can do is pay attention to me when I‘m gloating!”

Black and red goop leaks from the fleshly severed stub. How long is it going to take to grow back my arm? Hope not too long, I still need to fight the Zerg. “I didn’t know cockroaches talk this much,” I say.

There’s a huff in my mind from the bug lady. I think she’s pouting. “You’re no fun. I’ll just let the Ultralisk kill you and laugh about my revenge later.”

“Didn’t you say I couldn’t die, though?”

The bug lady is silent for a moment. “Shut up.”

She says nothing else. Ah, silence. I’d enjoy the quiet longer, but I hear the tell tale sound of boulders running towards me.

The base of a nearby tree bursts into splinters when the Tyranid charges through it. Just like the bug lady said, here it comes. The Protoss are all still climbing its crest. They look like a bunch of golden ants climbing a dog. No clue how much damage they got in, but can’t be much. Their blades cut through the armor, but they don’t go deep.

The Tyranid barrels for me. It’s blades make a cut for me. Same as before, I leap and avoid the edges, then my wings flare out and give me a flap towards the giant’s crest. I slam a tumor claw into a scale, shattering it on impact. Before the Tyranid flings me off, I stab a monster claw into the flesh, and the tentacles dig in and start eating it up. This is getting a bit repetitive.

The tentacles hit the hard wall inside the Tyranid, just like before. Hmm, I’m going to have to get past that barrier if I want to off the giant for good. Once finished digging around, the tentacles rip the meat chunk and eat it, exposing that barrier to the open air. With my monster blades, I stab at the fleshy wall, but the flesh doesn’t tear apart. Instead, it stretches against my blade tips, then bounces back to position when I let it go.

Rubber flesh, that’s a new one on me. Maybe since the creature is so big, it’s got room to grow some weird muscles inside it. This flesh could keep the thing together whenever it crashes into a tree or something. I don’t know, I didn’t get a degree in biology. All I see is a wall I need to cut through somehow.

A little light bulb goes off in my head. Who has some good cutting tools? The Protoss. Their plasma blades pierce the Tyranid’s armor easily. That’s how they’re hanging on to the damn beast as it runs around. I bet they can cut through this flesh barrier.

I poke my head out of the cavity and find the nearest Protoss hanging for dear life. “Hey, can I get some help here? I have a way to kill this guy but I need to cut past some muscles.”

The Protoss looks at me, and I hear a sneer in my head. “Be gone, monster. I told you I will never fall for your tricks.”

Oh, that’s Ceretel. He’s not going to be any help at all. Behind me a different Protoss soldier climbs to the edge of the cavity. “I can lend you my blades,” the Protoss says.

Ceretel bursts out. “What are you doing?! You’re playing right into her trap!”

The Protoss meets eyes with his angry brother. “You’re letting your distrust get the better of you, Ceretel. This griffon has been fighting alongside us for the entire battle. If she says she has a way to kill an Ultralisk, then I believe her.”

“She’s manipulating us all! She may assist us this one time, but she’ll turn our trust against us and strike us when our guard is down!”

“I am no fool, even if you think of me as one for trusting this outsider. It may be the case the griffon will betray us once this is all over, but her actions are proof against that idea. The only reason we have to distrust her is your prejudice.”

“Have you forgotten the Queen of Blades? She came to us as an ally but turned out to be a snake waiting for the right time to strike.”

“I have not forgotten, none of us have. That’s why we’re not outright dismissing your concerns. But I also want this Ultralisk dead, so I’m helping the griffon.” The Protoss soldier ignores Ceretel’s glare as he hops over the edge and stands with me. “What did you need?”

I point to the fleshy wall. “Just a cut from a plasma blade. I need to get past that barrier.”

The Protoss nods. With a swish of his blade, he strikes into the fleshy wall. The flesh smolders as the blade splits a line open. The Tyranid, of course, is not happy about this. He roars and almost flings us all off with the flick of his head. Mmm, love the smell of cooking Tyranid in the morning.

I give the Protoss a thumbs up. “That’s it. Thanks.” He nods again and hangs on tight, waiting for me to do my thing. I glance up at Ceretel and point at the new hole. “That’s all I needed, man. Are you so hung up about me that you have to make a big deal over this?”

Ceretel says nothing. He just broods. Eh, he’ll get over it.

I jab my claw into the slit, and tentacles sprout out and surge forth. With the barrier gone, I feel the tentacles go in so much further than before. Right off the bat it’s effective. The Tyranid makes a sudden stop, almost throwing us all off this rodeo for the umpteenth time. It makes a low pitched whine with a bit of a gurgle to it.

“You all might want to get off,” I say to the Protoss. “This is about to get messy.”

The Protoss soldier in the cavity with me takes this to heart and scramble out as fast as he can. The other Protoss soldiers climbing the Tyranid pull out their blades from their armor and drop to the ground. Even Ceretel gets the heck off this thing. I think that’s the first time he’s listened to me. The Protoss run to what they think is a safe distance away from here.

The tentacles keep webbing their way inside the Tyranid. The giant is shaking. It makes a choking sound when I get to around its throat. One of the tendrils wraps around something that’s still beating. That must be it’s heart. Wait… that feels like… Why is its heart in its butt?

From all the sounds the beast is making, I gather this is an unpleasant process. I never thought about what this feels like on the other end. Nobody lives long enough for me to ask. It’s always slash, slash, eat, and they’re just gone. The eating thing goes by so fast I don’t have time to ask how it feels. On a scale of one to ten, how much agony are you in right now?

The tentacles stop growing out. The Tyranid feels like it’s on the brink of having a seizure. Yep, this feels like I’m ready. With a pull of a muscle, the tentacles whip out in a storm. The Tyranid makes one last groan before it explodes in a cloud of chunky gore. Tendrils eat and dissolve all the flying meat chunks. Finally, I killed the giant.

The meat chunks finish up and withdraw back into me. Something I notice is not everything got finished off. A bunch of armor plates are sticking to a bunch of the mass of tentacles, and the two ultra blades are wrapped up in a wad of tendrils. Odd. The armor and blades look like they’re still getting eaten. Harder material takes longer, I suppose.

The tentacles make a full withdrawal. Some of the armor plates pull on top of me. My skin flares up, and little globs of my flesh shoot and stick to the underside of the plates. Uh, that’s not normal. What’s my body doing? Is it using the Tyranid’s armor and making it my own?

My body isn’t stopping work with just the armor plates. It’s also working with the two ultra blades. They’re much smaller now with the whole eating thing. Now they’re a bit longer than my arms. The tentacles toy with them so that the bases of the blades touch each other, fusing them together. The tentacles retract completely back into my shoulder, leaving the two blades exposed. It takes me a moment to realize what I got. In place of a monster claw, or any claw for that matter, I have a Tyranid blade sticking out of my arm. I got a new weapon!

The tip of the blade starts a couple feet from where my normal claw should be, then the edge sweeps back around my forearm and ends a foot out from my elbow. I swing the blade around. It feels sturdy. It also feels weird not having and talons to wiggle around. I think I can slice a mega tree in half with this baby.

I give the rest of my body a look. The Tyranid armor is now completely fused with the rest of my body. Instead of feathers, I have jagged, rocky plates covering every inch of me. I can’t even call them scales. Each plate is large enough to wrap around half my body. I touch my face, and even that is covered in a hard shell. With the blade at my side, I look like what a knight might be if a reptile grew the parts to be one.

I stretch out my legs and my arms and crane my neck. Movement is a bit stiff with the armor, but other than that I have free range of movement. As a test, I shift back into my normal griffon form, then I command my body to grow the armor. It takes less than a second to go either way. It’s not any different than shape shifting into other ponies for disguises. What did that creature call this stuff, Chitinous Plating? I think I like it. Makes me look regal.

The Protoss who were climbing the Tyranid come running back over to me. None of them have faces for me to see their emotions, but they still have eyes, and those eyes are wide as they can me. Must be amazed I ate the thing in one go. The group stops a yard or so from me. The first of them to say anything isn’t Ceretel, but the Protoss who sliced the hole for me. “Are you fine?”

Am I fine? Ah, must be a bit concerned about my new look. I shift out the armor and the blade and go back to my normal griffon self. “Yep, I’m good. Just got a bit of Tyranid in me now.”

Before the Protoss says anything, Ceretel shoves his way to the front of the pack and raises his plasma blades at me. “See, what did I say?! You helped the monster eat the Ultralisk, and now she’s more powerful than before! You didn’t see her wearing that armor beforehand, did you? She’ll use her new abilities against us now!”

I rub the front of my head with a talon. “For the love of… I’m not going to do anything to the Protoss. Geez, it’s like you’re getting off on bashing me or something.”

“Enough from you,” Ceretel says. “I’m going to end this here and now, before you can do any more damage!”

The soldier charges for me and plunges his plasma blade in my chest. I look down, sniff, and gently pull him out of me. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“I will never trust you,” Ceretel seethes.

I roll my eyes. I have better things to do. Let’s see, go home, bitch slap Arctic North, fix up my scone shop, free Pinkie. Oh right, there’s still the bug lady problem I have to take care of.

My Gilda sense pings for the bug lady, and they give me a strong tug deeper into the forest. I crack my knuckles together and spin around to walk that direction.

“Do what you will,” I say to Ceretel, and then I look back at the rest of the gang. “I’ll be back in a little bit to borrow your warp network thingy so I can get back home. But first, I have to go eat an old friend.”

Before the Protoss say anything, I monster dash forwards into the woods, following my monster senses to the bug lady. Oh, I’m going to give it to her. She owes me for the Baneling in the face.

Author's Notes:

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