Once my seething rage settled down, I had the chance to observe my current surroundings and figure out where I am, but that sent me in another fit of rage. It only took me five seconds to figure out I’m where I am, because I’m in literal nowhere! There’s nothing here. It’s just gray void all around me with nothing to be seen. That bastard unicorn sent me to Nowhere, capital of Absolute Nothing!

Once my second seething rage settled down, I analyzed my new situation. From what I can tell, there are no lights in here. No suns or lamps or anything like that. That’s weird, because I can see myself perfectly as if I was standing outside in the middle of the day. I can see my arms, my legs, my tail, all of it! It’s all clear to me. I think it’s something weird with this void, because what I don’t see is any shadows on my body. It’s hard to describe, but I look flat, but not actually flat. My feathers aren’t casting any shadows on each other. My armpits are well lit despite almost never seeing the light of day. As a test, I clench my talons to see if I can cast a shadow in my claw. Doesn’t work. My claw stays lit no matter how I position it.

I guess I’m a vampire now. Isn’t that how it works?

Aside from lack of shadows, there are a few other weird things going on. As an experiment, I try flapping my wings to see if I can move around. It’s hard to tell with literal nothing as a reference point, but I don’t think flapping my wings does anything. I don’t feel any air resistance. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’m breathing any air at all. It all feels empty.

“Hello, anyone out there?” I yell into the void. My voice sounds weird and muffled too. I hear my voice inside my body, but not outside. I think that’s because there’s no air for my voice to travel through, or any walls for my voice to bounce back at me. My flesh is the only median, so it’s all coming from my throat. Side effect of nothingness I suppose. Hmm, I think I can hear my pulse through my neck. That’s unsettling.

I try a few other things. Shapeshifting still works. I can draw my claw blades just fine. Memories are intact. Scone recipes are still in my head. That’s the important stuff. I try pinging a few people with my Gilda senses, but nothing comes back to me. They’re too far away for me to sense them, or they’re in a completely different dimension.

So… yeah. That’s the void. Not much to do here. I’ll probably spend the rest of eternity floating in here in boredom. I can see why bug lady was pissed about having nothing to do in a dark box. Curse Arctic for tricking me and sending me to this place! If I ever do end up back in Equestria, the first thing I’ll do is find him and ring his neck.

I stretch out and yawn. My eyelids are heavy. Ugh, it's been a long day. Maybe after a snooze I'll land somewhere that isn't stark nothingness.

Just a... snooze...

...

"What have we here, a mad little bird?"

WHAHG! "Who said that?!" I yell.

The void doesn't respond. All I hear is my pulse in my neck, and nothing else. Huh... Don't tell me I'm already going crazy.

What time is it? Oh, why am I asking that? There's no way to figure that out. I don't feel tired anymore. How long did I sleep? Did I even sleep?

Oh for Grover's sake, this void is making me nuts. Something better come out of this or I'm going to claw my eyes out!

Might as well try to make some entertainment as I wait for the inevitable insanity. I twiddle my thumbs. I play rock paper scissors with myself. I give my wings a good, long preening. As a griffon who’s been disguised as a pony for a year, it’s been a long time since I got a good preen in. Preening may be unnecessary for me, since I can shapeshift and set my feathers straight, but I’m not about to argue with my primitive bird brain right now. It’s nice to feel clean.

At some point, an old sea shanty pops in my head, so I start singing it. It doesn’t go all that well. I keep forgetting lyrics. I’m off key half the time. The inside of my head is the only way I can hear things so it sounds like I’m pressed up against my own ears singing with a pillow covering my beak. Crappy singing be damned, I don’t see a music teacher floating around to criticize me.

“Day after day, day after day, we stuck, nor breath nor motion, as idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean!” Sweet mercy, I sound horrible.

That particular verse is about five minutes or so into the shanty. I’m about to go on and sing the “water water everywhere” verse when a tingling happens. The tingling starts in my chest, then it moves to my limbs, then my head. Soon the tingling is all over my body. I cut my shanty short to see what the heck is going on with me.

Once the tingling reaches every little bit of me, everything changes. The void, gray and endless, is shredded by white-blue light. The sound of ringing glass fills my ears, or at least I think that’s ringing glass. My gut lurches as I’m sent flying in a direction I can’t figure out.

Woo! Stuff is happening.

After a brief moment, the pulling sensation stops, and I hover in place. Images are forming through the light. They’re faint at first, but as the white-blue light clears up, their forms become clearer. Pyramid shapes surrounding me, along with what looks to be giant crystals. There’s a figure, no, figures beyond the light that are running in a certain direction. The figures are tall and walk more like dragons than ponies. But they’re not dragons. Too skinny.

The light blocks a lot of details, but there’s enough there for me to realize I’m about to end up somewhere that is not Equestria.

The tingling stops, the glass ringing ends, and the light fades away. Glad that’s all over. Now I can –

Wait, no, feeling sick. That did not do my tummy any favors. I lean on something as pieces of fake apple come back up in the least pleasant way possible. Ugh, I can drink bleach but a trip through the void leaves me upchucking my dinner. Yay, monster powers.

After the all the wax bits exit my system, I feel stable enough to figure out where I am. The first thing I notice is the thing I’m leaning on. The surface is a blue crystal with some griffon sludge dripping down the side. There’s a sort of energy radiating from the crystal. I’m no unicorn, but I’d say that’s strong stuff brimming inside this thing. I look up, following the crystal up to the sky. Huh, this is a really big gemstone. It’s as big as a building. There’s also a golden ring floating up there around the crystal's rim. Oh yeah, this thing is magic.

I look around the rest of the world. There are more of these building sized magic crystals scattered around the place. They’re all floating above the ground with golden rings slowly spinning around them. I check my crystal, and sure enough, it too has a couple feet of clearance from the dirt. Magic.

Beyond the crystals, I count three of the giant pyramid shapes. They’re large, far larger than all the floating crystals. The tips are almost poking through the clouds. I want to say each is as big as the city of Canterlot. They’re all built out of a shiny gold metal with blue highlights painted for details. And of course there’s a blue magic crystal floating at the top of each of their peaks. Whoever built these things has a fetish for crystals.

As for the tall not-dragon figures I saw, I can see them all now. They’re running in organized groups, as if they’re army platoons heading out on a mission. They’re tall guys, clad in golden armor. Crystals and gold, I’m sensing a theme. From what I can see, their skin is pale white. They have claws and two legs, sort of like a dragon. Braids of long, black hair swing from their heads as they run in a common direction. Something is off about their faces. I squint to try to look as some of the closer ones. Yep, those faces are weird. Their eyes glow blue and they have no mouths.

Big buildings, weird looking people, I think I landed on an alien homeworld, just like the comics. Sweet.

My eyes follow where all the soldier alien guys are running to. At the edge of this alien city, there’s a forest with immense trees. Each tree is as thick as two of the crystals put together, and they’re all almost as high as the pyramids, if not taller. I give an impressed whistle. The pyramids are as big as Canterlot, but this forest could hide the entire Canterlot mountain range. The alien platoons are pouring through the forest, running between the trees and disappearing into the woods. Where they go, I don’t know.

Four pillars of light appear around me. They have the same color as the light I was in, and the same glass ringing. In each pillar, a figure similar in shape to the other aliens appears. The lights fade away, and standing in their places are four alien soldiers who appeared from nowhere. They waste no time diddling themselves as they run of for the forest the instant the lights go out.

Well, I know where the aliens are coming from. Judging by the light show, I think that’s how I came here too. Bet one of these guys knows how to use the light pillar thingy to send me back into the void, then back home. Shouldn’t be too hard to –

A spike of blue, hot plasma crosses my vision, breaking me out of my train of thought. It’s radiating the same energy as the giant crystal, but more compact and intense. My eyes follow the spike down the shaft, where it meets a pale, armored claw. The claw holds the spike in front of my face, and all of the sudden I’m made aware of someone standing behind me.

The person behind me speaks, but instead of his voice coming from behind, I hear his voice inside my head. “What are you doing here, creature? You are not a native of this planet.”

It’s kind of like what the Not-Rainbow bug lady was doing when we were talking with our minds. The voice is deep and has a strong sense of authority. The authority is enhanced by the dude speaking inside my head.

I glance behind me to get a look at the dude. It’s one of the alien soldiers. Like what I saw from a distance, this guy’s face is pale and has no mouth. His eyes are burning blue, and he’s staring daggers at me. Metaphorical daggers, of course. Considering what he has up against my neck, I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy could shoot actual laser daggers from his face. His armor looks impressive. Up close the detail is astounding. How expensive is his ensemble? I want to get a smith’s opinion on it, then see if I can sell it for a pretty penny.

The alien holds up another claw, and another plasma knife thing shoots out and almost pierces my chin. The voice booms in my minds again. “Speak to me, creature. Don’t monologue as if I’m not here!”

Ah crap, he’s got me. Better get this all sorted out so I can go home as soon as possible. “Yeah, I’m not from around here. Someone sent me here against my will after they sucked me in a suitcase. I was wondering if you guys could use your light pillar beam things to send me back home, because that’s how I think I got here just now. Could you send me back, pretty please?”

The alien’s brow furrows as I give him the rundown. Kind of hard to read this guy since he doesn’t have much of a face. All I got are those glowing lights of his. Not much you can do with lights. “Only the Protoss can use the warp network,” his voice says. “You are fool to think we would allow you to use it.”

“Can’t you make an exception for me? I would like to get back home and shell out some justice” –

“Enough!” the alien yells. “I don’t know how you made your way into our base, but clearly you have no good intentions.”

“Hey wait a moment, I just want to get” –

The voice yells a battle cry inside my head. Oh sweet mercy, that’s not pleasant. The alien swings his plasma knives at my neck, but I duck fast enough for them to cross over my head. Guess things just went tits up. I shove my claws up the alien’s chestplate, sending him flying back with my monster strength. The alien falls flat on his back several yards away, leaving me with some good distance between us.

“What the heck man? I’m not trying to kill you!”

The alien ignores what I say. He gets up off the ground, raises his plasma blades to strike, and charges at me. The dude is a blur as he closes the distance between us. I barely have enough time to shift my monster claws out and block the first strike with my giant scythes. Despite being made out of pure energy, my claw is able to make physical contact with his blade, enough for me to deflect his strike harmlessly off to the side. His second blade comes up from an undercut, and I bat it away with my other claw.

“Zerg!” he says. “I knew you were hiding something. Face oblivion, you abomination!”

Crap, here’s another guy who wants my head. Not much different from Equestria. The least Arctic could have done is send me to a nice beach dimension, one with endless margaritas with little umbrellas sticking out of them. But no, send me to the dimension with the crazy murder alien. Thanks Arctic, you fart horn!

As the alien takes his swings at me and I block them as best I can, my legs wind up for a big jump. When the alien leaves me an opening, my legs spring up, sending me rocketing up high in the air. Ha, try to fly after me, you pompous lunatic!

“You do not shield your thoughts well! I do not need to fly to kill you!” the alien shouts from below. Weird, this mind talking thing accounts for distance and direction. He’s still talking in my head, but he sounds like he’s coming from down there. Eh, it’s above my pay grade to figure that out.

The power from my jump dies out, and I slow down around the height of the ring that’s circling the giant crystal. My wings flap to give me a boost towards the ring. The ring wobbles when I land on it, but I manage to get a grip on it without falling off. I look down at the ground and yell at the alien. “Try to reach me up here, sucker!”

His blue eyes are glaring, or glowing, up at me. Clearly reaching me from his position is out of the question. I stick my tongue at him, just to rub the fact in.

The alien turns to one of the pyramids, and he calls out. “Stalkers, I need Stalkers here with me. There is a Zerg in our base!”

I lean over the side and smile at him. “Aw, does the big tough alien need to get his friends to beat up the mean birdy for him?”

He raises a plasma blade at me. “Your drivel means nothing to me. Soon, my Stalker brethren will deliver your end!”

“Stalkers? What, are they going to hide in the bushes and follow me around?” I laugh. I throw an arm over my head and bump my voice up a few pitches. “Officer, help me. There are Stalkers taking photos of my tooshie and going through my sock drawers. I wanted attention, but not this kind of attention! I’ll need a restraining order and a stern talk with their parents!”

As I roll on the ring laughing, four pillars of light appear around the alien. Four silver, bulbous figures step out of the lights and line up at the base of the crystal. They all walk on spider legs and all have heads poking out what seems to be their chests. Those heads have little scarves hanging off where their mouths should be. I hear one of them do the mind talk thing. “You require our skills?”

There’s a dweeb party forming down there. Better greet them. I yell down at the new guys. “You all look like onions walking on toothpicks.”

The first alien waves his blade at me. “Stalkers, silence the Zerg menace!”

At the command, the silver guys look up. Little circles on the tips of their bulbs light up, and they all shoot a volley of blue energy bolts at me. They all hit me in the chest, and I feel a bad case a heart burn. Ow! Those are just like the bolts Blackwatch likes to throw at me!

The silver guys shoot another volley at me, but this time I’m prepared. Tentacles shoot out and twist together, and my shield forms in front of me. The bolts splash against the hard material, leaving me unharmed. Cool, I made this thing to block magic bolts. Looks like it can block alien bolts too.

I poke my head out to the side to get a look at the ground. The party is growing. The alien soldiers that were running for the forest are now stopping here to see what’s going on. The first alien dude is giving the newcomers the rundown, while the Stalkers keep shooting up at my perch. Their bolts keep holding the shield, which I think is holding up pretty well.

“You think you all are hot stuff?” I yell down at the dweebs. “I’ll show you how hot you are when I get the restraining - WAH!”

I pull my head back to avoid a volley of bolts. They wiz past my and strike the crystal behind me. They explode and a blue ripple flows over the crystal. I think that’s the ripple of a shield, similar to the shields unicorns use. Why do they have a shield around the giant crystal?

A side effect of the aliens’ weird mind talk thing is that my monster hearing doesn’t work all that well hearing their voices from a distance. But because their weird mind talk thing is weird, I can hear them clearly this high up if they raise their voices. “Stop it,” I hear one of them yell, “You’ll damage the pylon!”

This mind voice is new. It certainly doesn’t belong to the first alien guy. The Stalkers obey the new voice’s command and cease shooting. I poke my head out to see what’s going on. More alien soldiers have gathered, and they parted ways to let a different, flashier alien make his way towards us.

This new guy is about the same height as the other aliens, and has the same skin and blue eyes. His golden armor looks a little similar, but there are floating pieces of metal all over his body, making him stand out. His headpiece is also more impressive than what anyone else has. And this guy as a sweet ass cape. This guy is the head honcho, and he wants everyone to be damn sure he’s on top.

The honcho looks up at me for a moment, then directs his attention to the first alien guy. “Ceretel, what is the meaning of this?”

The first alien, who I presume is Ceretel, motions up at me. “We have a Zerg trapped up on the pylon. I tried to dispatch it, but it’s offering too much resistance for us to kill it quietly.”

“I’m only resisting because you tried to kill me first,” I yell down. “And for the record, I’m a she. A girl, a lady, a chick! I’m laying that down before any of you dweebs get the wrong idea.”

The honcho and Ceretel exchange looks, and then the honcho steps up to talk to me. “You do not behave like the other Zerg we’ve faced.”

“Maybe that’s because I’m not a Zerg! What the heck is a Zerg anyways, some kind of rash?”

“You plead ignorance, then. Maybe you are not Zerg, but there’s no reason for us to trust you. What business do you have in the middle of our base? Nothing less than an army could get past our defenses, and yet here you are.”

Lack of trust, but at least they’re talking instead of shooting. I adjust the grip on my shield, just in case. “I’m here on accident. A guy from my world used a portal to send me into the void and I ended up here. It’s kind of like that Mission Possible comic where the Moon Wizard sends Agent Possible to a different dimension. I figure something like that happened to me.”

The honcho is about to say something, but Ceretel butts in to add his unwanted input. “Do not believe the creature’s lies, Ordaes. This is clearly a trick sent from the Zerg to distract us from the battle.”

Ordaes, I assume that’s what the honcho’s name is, rubs his mouthless chin as he ponders the current situation. “Do not be so hasty. We may not trust each other, but there is no honor in killing an innocent creature. Doing so would make us no better than the Nerazim." The Stalkers turn towards Ordaes and give him a weird look. “Oh, sorry. I’m still getting used to our alliance.”

Trust is important, but I would like to get home sooner than later, so I can push a few things before the trust thing happens. “Hey, if you guys could help me, I’d like to get back to my home world as soon as possible. Could someone do one of those light pillar things on me to send me back?”

Ordaes looks up at me. “Are you wanting us to warp you back, like how our soldiers arrive for battle?”

I shrug. “If that’s what you call it, then ya.”

“That’s impossible,” Ordaes says. “We only warp fellow Protoss. What gave you the idea we could do that for you?”

“It’s how I got here in the first place. Can’t you Protoss guys do the same thing to send me back? It can’t be too hard of a spell to do.”

Again, Ceretel butts in. “It wants to sabotage our warp network. The creature will unleash untold damage upon us if we don’t do something. This must be the work of that new Brood Mother!”

Ordaes glares at the soldier. “And what damage has the creature done to us so far that warrant such extreme measures?”

One of the Stalkers points to the base of the crystal. “She puked on a pylon.”

“Corrosive bile!” Ceretel yells. “She intends to destroy our structures!”

“Sorry about that,” I say. “Rough trip.”

Ordaes leans close to a random alien bystander. “Find a youngling to clean that up.” The alien nods and runs off to one of the pyramids. Ordaes looks up at me again. “What is your name, creature?”

“Gidla,” I say. “Nice to meet you.”

“I suppose,” Ordaes says. “I don’t know what you are, Gilda. You have more common decency than most Zerg we face, but you give us no reason to believe you’re not deceiving us. What you’ve told us is hard to believe, especially how you used our warp network to get here.”

“Well, it’s true,” I say. “Heck, it only happened three minutes ago. Right where you’re standing, too.”

Ordaes look down at his feet for a moment. Ceretel chimes in while his leader is doing so. “There’s too much risk in believing the creature. We should destroy it while our warriors are present.”

“And destroy the pylon in the process?” Ordaes asks the soldier. “That’s not an option. We don’t have the minerals to spare for another pylon.”

“And we don’t have the time to spare on a single creature,” Ceretel says. “Just kill her and move on to the battlefront.”

The growing crowd of aliens is muttering between themselves. Some of them are saying to get on with it, while others are saying give me a chance. Seems like a fifty fifty split. I pipe in to add my own opinion. “I’m kind of opposed to rushing things if it means my life is on the line. Can we talk about it, figure out a deal?”

Odaes turns to the side to look at no one in particular. It looks like he’s talking to air. He’s still for a moment, nods, then turns towards the alien crowd. “All of you, forget about our intruder for the time being. The enemy line is drawing near. Do not waste anymore time. Move out!” The honcho waves an arm at the forest. “En taro Tasadar!”

The Protoss look at each other, hesitating at the orders. It’s the Stalkers who move out first, making their way past everyone else. “Into the shadows,” I hear them say to the crowd. The other soldiers get the message. The group breaks into small clumps and disperses into the forest, leaving behind Odaes, Ceretel, and me.

Ordaes turns to Ceretel. “That means you as well.”

Without a face, I can’t understand most of these aliens’ expressions, but Ceretel looks quite offended. “You can’t possibly believe this creature will do nothing if left alone.”

“She will not be alone. Someone is on their way to ensure our guest won’t cause any trouble. There’s no need to worry,” Ordaes says. “Now go. The enemy draws near.”

Ceretel nods before turning to run with the rest of the army. Before he disappears into the forest with everyone else, he gives me one last glare, just to make sure I know I’m not welcomed.

As is the standard practice in griffon culture, I flip Ceretel the bird.

“Now that is dealt with,” Ordaes says as he directs his attention at me, “there’s still one matter we have between each other. Trust.”

“Well, maybe getting me home is another matter to think about, but yeah. Let’s start with trust. How do you want to sort that out?”

“We can’t,” Ordaes says. “Not at the moment, at least. Our battle with the Zerg rages this moment, and I can’t give you the time to see if you’re ally or foe.”

“So what, you’re going to walk away and leave me up here? That doesn’t help me in the slightest.”

“Patience. I may not be with you, but I will give you time. For now, in case you do mean to harm us, I will have to ensure you cannot do any damage in any capacity.”

“So what, put me in a prison cell, hope I’m a good inmate so you can let me out?”

“Not exactly.”

Yep, this sounds like it’s all going well for me. I’m not getting the short end of the stick at all. Not at all. Ugh, the things I have to do to get my life in order. “Fine, I’ll play ball. I just want to go home as soon as I can. Where’s the cell you’re putting me in? Lead me to it and I’ll wait for you to finish your battle with the Big Rash or whatever.”

Ordaes shakes his head. “I’m not leading you to it. In fact, you don’t have to go anywhere at all. Just stay up there for a” –

His words are cut off by a sheet of glass that suddenly appears between us. Blue energy and sparks crawl over the surface, giving my eyes a workout looking at the stuff. I perk up and look around me. The glass isn’t just between us, it’s a sphere that has me trapped inside. It’s not glass, it’s a shield.

- “moment. That came sooner than expected."

I press my claws up against the shield, trying to find a way to break it. No good. It’s like that one time Luna put me in a shield at the daycare. How did that go? Poorly? I slam a fist up against the glass. “Ordaes, let me out right now!”

Before the alien says anything, the world falls below me. I shoot straight up, almost going above the treetops. I stop far above the ground, far above where I can hear Ordaes say anything. I can see far more of the alien base up here. It’s not just the pyramids. The crystals are everywhere, and there are other golden buildings scattered about. I did not ask to be this high.

While an unexpected and irritating surprise, the flight up here wasn’t too bad. Much better than my trip through the void. I roll around my bubble, trying to get a view of my situation. When I look behind, I see I have a friend hovering right next to me. It’s a large machine, plated with gold metal with pulsing blue energy going down the sides. It has wings that curve towards me, and a bulge in the center with a window. Behind the window is an alien sitting in a chair and holding a set of controls.

I cross my arms at the alien and look right at his mouthless face. “So, this is my cell for the evening.”

As a testament to how weird this mind talk stuff gets, the alien inside the machine talks to me. “Affirmative. I am not to let you go until I’m given orders to do so."

“Right.” I look down at the ground below me. It’s pretty far down, almost as far as that jump I did with Arctic. I flick the wall of my bubble shield. My flick sends a ripple of energy across its surface. If Ordaes wanted to keep me out of trouble, he found a good way to do it. “So,” I say, turning to the alien pilot, “know any sea shanties?”