Twilight searched her library for hours to no avail, finding nothing on the strange curse that now afflicted me. "There's nothing in any of these books about magic or monsters that can turn somepony blocky like that. Maybe it was something in the Everfree forest that got to you?" she suggested.

"Maybe. We should check with Pinkie and Vinyl," I said. "They were with me when we lead the parasprites into the woods. They were fine when we parted ways, but it may have taken some time to kick in." I sighed before saying what I was afraid to say. "Gather the girls. Check on Vinyl, but only bring her if she's having trouble as well. They should all know what's happened to me. I don't want to make this public though, and risk a scare. You know how badly Ponyville's ponies reacted to Zecora, and all she's ever done wrong is combine poor fashion sense with an insistence on rhyming everything she says."

Twilight giggled lightly at my summary of our new Zebrican friend. "I'll go get them, you just stay here. Spike will keep you company."

"Are you sure it's safe to leave me with her?" Spike asked Twilight.

"Of course, Spike! Cloud is our friend, she wouldn't hurt you. And I'm pretty sure it's not contagious," Twilight said.

"Yeah, but... dragonslayer," he said quietly enough he might have thought I couldn't hear him. Of course, Fluttershy had been training my ears better than he had been training his tongue.

"Technically Rainbow Dash is credited with the final blow," Twilight began before realizing that wasn't what was needed and laying a hoof on her adopted son. She gave him a light kiss on the head. "Anyways, Cloud is sworn to protect all the citizens of Ponyville, aren't you Cloud? Even my little Spike here?"

"It's in my contract with Celestia," I said. I wasn't sure if he was a citizen, but he was Twilight's assistant, and that made him part of our team. "No rampage, no problem. Deal?"

Spike considered me thoughtfully before finally nodding in agreement. He approached me and reached out a clawed hand. "Alright. Put err there," he said. I narrowed my eyes at him, and after a moment he looked at my blockish hands, rubbed his own hand behind his head and laughed sheepishly.

"Well, now that that's settled, I'd better get going. Stay safe, you two." And with that she was gone. Simply pulsing out of existence in a flash of purple light, rather than walking out the door like a normal pony.

"Could she always teleport like that?" I asked.

"As long as I can remember," Spike admitted. "Sorry about the handshake thing... can you believe I forgot?"

"Can you believe it's not about the blockishness?" I countered. I drew my sword to look at the hilt, but the individual materia were lost in the rectangle that was the hilt. I could still feel their power, though. Sighing I put it back. "When we were finishing up, I grabbed hold of the last of the parasprites, a straggler that was resisting the music. When I grabbed it, something strange happened. It... turned into a summon materia. I can call it back now, with a bit of magic. But I don't know how I did that, why it worked. If I had the same effect on you, just from shaking your hand... Well, Twilight would never forgive me for one. But I don't think I would forgive myself, either."

"Wow... that's pretty heavy," Spike said, defying his apparent youth by seeming to grasp the gravity of it. "Thanks, then. For not taking that risk, I mean. Are you sure it won't work on ponies?"

"I don't think it will, but I didn't expect it to happen with the parasprites either," I admitted. We were quiet for a few minutes before I thought of something else to ask about. "So, anything exciting in your life?"

"Not really," he started before admitting. "I have a date with Sweetie Belle coming up. It's not until spring... the Grand Galloping Gala," he clarified. "But I really hope it goes well."

"The trees haven't even shed their leaves, and you're waiting until spring for your first date?" I questioned.

"The leaves will be down the day after tomorrow," he pointed out with the bizarre certainty that weather ponies allowed. "You think that's a mistake? I just want it to be special..." he said shyly.

"I'm sure it still will be if it's not your first date," I said. "Have you two spent any time together?"

"Yes," he answered quickly before more slowly elaborating. "No, not really. I mean, a few minutes here or there, usually when I bump into her on errands. Honestly, I usually get too nervous and tongue tied whenever I'm near her."

"And you think that will go over well at the Gala?" I teased. "You two are kids. Invite her out to do some kid stuff together."

"Kids?" he asked questioningly.

"Um..." what did ponies call them? "Foals. Children. Just have a fun time together. Don't let too much ride on it. Just make sure she has a fun time spending time with you. There'll be plenty of time to get heavy and dramatic when you're grown."

"I'm not that young," he huffed with all the defiance of a child, earning a giggle from me in return. "Well, okay, but I'm awfully mature for my age."

"Older women- mares like to be shown a good time too," I explained. I closed my eyes thinking back to my date with Rainbow Dash. "And don't forget to pay attention to her. I know you're going to want to try to impress her with how awesome you are, but take some time to acknowledge what makes her someone you want to spend more time with."

"Well, I am pretty awesome, but that shouldn't be too hard. Have you seen Sweetie Belle?" Spike said. He clearly saw more to her than I did, which would serve him well under the circumstances.

"Only in passing, but I've seen what she's likely to grow up into. By the time she does, if you're what she thinks of when she thinks about having a good time, every stallion in Ponyville is going to be jealous of you. I guarantee it," I said.

"You'd stake your life on it?" he asked, teasingly.

"Let's not joke about things like that," I said. "Some of them might be gay," I added jokingly.

"What's that mean?" he asked.

Luckily, the door burst open, saving me from that discussion. Rainbow Dash and Applejack burst through as one, before declaring themselves winners in unison and then breaking into a growling match. Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Twilight followed in more civilly.

"Will you two settle down and behave yourselves?" Rarity demanded.

"Yeah, you're in a library," Spike mentioned. "Try to keep it down."

"Why? There isn't anypony trying to read or nothin'," Applejack pointed out.

"Not unless you want to settle this with a speedreading contest?" Rainbow Dash challenged.

"Do you even know how to read?" Applejack countered.

"Do you?" Rainbow shot back.

"Girls! Girls! Settle down," Twilight said.

That didn't get their attention, though, as well as Pinkie's massive gasp as she caught sight of me. The pink mare was, at least, seemingly unafflicted. And for that matter, Vinyl hadn't joined them, so perhaps I was the only victim after all.

"Oh my goodness, what happened to you, Cloud?!" Fluttershy inquired as she came to look me over sympathetically. "You look just awful."

"That's an understatement, Fluttershy," Rarity concurred. "Why I don't think there's any way I could make this look good if I tried."

"We're still not sure," I admitted. "It happened sometime on my way from the parasprite incident to the library. I didn't notice anything strange along the way, so it could be a delayed reaction from something in the Everfree, or even the parasprites themselves. I thought you should all see for yourselves so you know what's going on. Twilight's library didn't come up with anything, any of you have any ideas?"

"Oh, I know! What about your monthly visitor?" Pinkie Pie inquired.

The common euphemism made me think of that agonizing period I had had, which in turn reminded me of the zebra she meant to refer to. I really hoped that nickname didn't stick. "That's a good idea. Zecora lives in the Everfree, and she knows her way around some rare medicines. Once the sun goes down, I can make my way there to see if she has any help to offer."

"Are you all sure she's trustworthy?" Applejack questioned. "I mean, I know y'all purified her with the Elements and whatnot, but I wasn't there with mine, so... maybe the jobs only, you know, most of the way done?"

"Zecora's fine," I attested. "She's helped me before, I'm sure she'll help again if she can."

"Help you with what?" Applejack asked, curiously.

I blushed, opening my mouth a moment before closing it. I traded a look with Fluttershy, who tried to step in to save me. "Well, you see, when a woman gets to be a certain age and her body starts to prepare itself for joining with a special somepony..."

"Weird human stuff, got it," Applejack said, clearly not wanting more details.

"It's not that weird," Fluttershy countered, "several species of primates undergo the same pro-"

"Cool it Flutters," Rainbow Dash said sticking her tongue out. "I'm dating that mare, I don't want to know things like that." She didn't seem to notice my glare or slight, annoyed growl.

Still, it was time to step in. "Alright. So, I'm heading to Zecora's hut to seek help. Anypony coming with me? If she can't help, I'll probably stay in the Everfree until we can find a solution."

"I'm going with you. I'll judge this 'zebra' for myself," Applejack insisted.

"I'll go along, if it's okay with you. It's not that far from my home," Fluttershy offered.

"Just don't be late for our competition tomorrow," Rainbow Dash said, mostly to Applejack.

I was annoyed as we set out. Rainbow hadn't won any points with me by claiming we were dating without bothering to do anything to back that up. Coming with us might have helped, but even a few kind words my way would have counted for something. And for that matter: "what's going on between you and Rainbow Dash?" I asked, once we had gotten on our way.

"Oh, you know Rainbow. She can be just so darn competitive. She tried to outdo me in repairing the damage from the parasprite attack, but when it was clear all her fancy flying couldn't make up for good ole' hard work, she went and challenged me to an 'iron pony' competition instead. We'll be competin' tomorrow. But don't you worry your spikey little head about it none, it's all in good fun," Applejack assured. "Now what's all this about you datin' her? I thought that was just a dare."

"That's what I thought too," I said. "If she wants another chance, she'll have to try a lot harder than last time. Dating isn't just about telling the other person how awesome you are..."

"I reckon you're right there," Applejack said. "Heck, I've seen enough of you in action to know any mare, or stallion, would be lucky to have you as their special somepony."

"Thanks, AJ," I said. "Now if Dash could see fit to slip lines like that into our dates, things might be going a lot smoother for us right now."

The cowpony nuzzled my blocky hand lightly as we walked, making me wish I could stroke her mane properly in response. The same heat spread through me as when Hammer Time had touched my hand, leaving me to second guess Applejack's intentions as we walked. I did my best to shove such thoughts aside. My dating life was complicated enough without thinking about my host family like that.

I knocked on the door to Zecora's hut, even as Applejack looked around warily.

"This sure ain't the most inviting looking place to live," she pointed out.

"Not everywhere can be an apple orchard," I countered.

"Enter now, peacefully, please. Moving gently as a breeze," Zecora bid. As if on cue, a faint, chilly breeze swept by us, unseasonably cold for fall.

"That's a mighty long-winded way of saying 'hello'," Applejack said as she entered. She wasn't quite as gentle as a breeze, but nothing broke on her way in, so it was a clear improvement from Rainbow's previous entry.

"My entryway remains intact, I thank you humbly for that fact," Zecora rhymed. "What brings you to my humble home," she began before catching sight of me and breaking beat. "Cloud, you are clearly unwell, do you know with what you swell?"

"I was hoping you would know, Zecora," I said. "Something did this to me earlier tonight, after we brought the parasprites out to the woods."

The zebra considered me for a bit, sniffing at me, including uncomfortable close to my face. "I feel I should have warned you before, though perhaps you would ignore. Leaves of blue, flower like oak, you've been touching Poison Joke. Let go your fear and stay your wrath, the cure comes in the form of bath. Herbs mixed right within the water, heated well and stirred one hour, most I have the rest you will purchase within Ponyville."

"Thank you for your help, Zecora," Fluttershy offered, earning a smile from the zebra.

After a knock on the spa's door, Aloe opened the way with a brief yawn, before looking up. "Quake..." she called out.

When the summoned stallion came into view, he gave me one look. "I know I 'say' my massages are magical," he stated. "But even I can't be expected to work miracles."

Zecora pushed her way lightly inside. "Those services are not required, which is not to say they aren't desired. A bath we need; full body soaking to end the flowers' poisonous joking."

"I need to use your bath," I simplified. "Zecora has some herbs I need to soak in to clear this up."

"Oh! Well, why didn't she say so. We're normally closed by now, but we can make an exception," the pink mare pointed out. "I'll go start preparing it. Zecora, was it? Can you bring the herbs?"

"Massages, you say?" I inquired of the stallion as we were left alone. It might not have been relevant to the cure, but it was a perfectly tempting use for my bits, once my situation was resolved.

My friends and I all enjoyed a good long soak in the hot tub; while I was the only one in actual need of the herbal remedy, it was also apparently quite good for the skin and fur, and relaxing as well.

“Miss Zecora, I would love to get the recipe for this bath. It's simply luxurious!” Lotus Blossom mentioned with a light splash as she enjoyed the soak with us.

"Maybe you should become their supplier," I suggested, as I lifted my hand before my face and took a moment to appreciate each separate, distinct finger. "Now that the shops in town are actually open to you, I'm sure you could use a few bits."

"If more visits you'll have from me, I will bring my recipe," Zecora told Lotus. A light clop signaled their agreement.

After the soak, the others went home but I stayed behind, offering Quake a bit extra for his services so late into the night. After the day I had, I really needed the services of a talented masseur.

It turned out to also be a chance to help train myself to stop overreacting to everything. I laid myself down on the massage table, naked aside from the towel I was laying upon. I repeated to myself over and over that I was living in a society of mostly nudists, where, if anything, wearing clothes tended to have sexually suggestive overtones.

Be that as it may, being touched on my naked skin was a whole other level of intimacy, one I had gotten very little of during my time here. Fortunately, his touches were both hard and fast, hooves striking down on my sore muscles with speed and precision. It felt like a stampede running over my back, which fortunately felt exactly unlike a lover's caress. The unsensuality of it all helped me to relax a bit, finally fully accepting that there was nothing untoward going on.

"Can you do that a little harder?" I asked. One trouble of being toughened by mako exposure was that it was harder for a massage to break through that tension.

"I'll try, but you might need Bulk Biceps to give you a deep tissue massage," Quake said before kicking it up a notch. His hoof strikes started to come less quickly, putting more force into each. Aah, there it was.

My relaxation vanished in an instant when he reached my butt. I tried to keep in mind that this was just a massage, and he was just being thorough, but my mind still wandered to alternatives. I started to relax as he made his way down my legs, working out far more tension than I had realized I had. My feet, especially, took a good deal of work, especially as I had been forced to go around barefoot for the weeks since my arrival. Ponies didn't really know how to make shoes for human feet, and the callouses that had naturally formed served well enough.

"Alright, flip over so I can do the front," Quake instructed. I hesitated. It was one thing for him to look at and even touch my back side, but my front? I doubted he even understood the significance of breasts. Would he avoid them? Mishandle them uncomfortably? Or make them feel way too good? And what of lower parts? I knew he was just a professional being professional about everything, and that somehow made it worse. Like a tease I wasn't ready to deal with right now.

"No," I said at length.

There was a pause as he looked at me in curious surprised before nodding. "Very well then. I do hope you are satisfied with my service."

I nodded and paid the stallion, dressing myself before taking my leave, awkward and alone. A cold breeze washed over my skin as I walked back toward Sweet Apple Acres, caressing me like a lover and doing little to cool my flushed heat. Great. Now even the wind was turning me on. I picked up the pace, rushing home for some privacy and relief.