"Hello?" The voice was closer to a frightened squeak than anything else.

"Yes, hello?" Starlight moved closer to the crystal. I knew I should have asked Twilight about the volume settings of this thing. Maybe there's something in her notes?

"Umm, I'm not sure I should be using this," the voice went one. More a filly than a mare, by the sound of it. "This is, umm, a bit uncomfortable."

"Mmhmm." A storm of papers scrolls and flashcards levitated throughout the room, as Starlight tried to find any relevant instructions. Knowing Twilight, there had to be a user manual somewhere. Where is it?!

"It's embarrassing, but I have this magic problem..."

Magic problem?! Starlight's ears shot up. She felt as if the weight of a mountain had been taken off her back. This changed everything! Magic problems she could deal with, she was good at that! In all of Equestria there were a dozen ponies at most that surpassed her level.

"What exactly seems to be the problem, Miss?" This is one area I can't mess up! Hastily she put back the cards and other Twilight materials in their proper place.

"Well, you see... oh I really can't say it out loud!" The caller sounded like she was about to quit.

"Miss?" Please don't go! I don't want to mess this up. What did Twilight tell me about times like these? Deep, breath, calm and relaxed, yadda, yadda... Argh! Why aren't we face to face? I could hypnotize her into telling me what's wrong! "Miss, what is your name?"

"Toffee Shine," the other said hesitantly.

"Hello, Toffee, I am Starlight." So far, so good. I must just keep her talking. "There's nothing to worry about. Princess Sparkle made this device so that you could ask for help. As well as show off in front of Celestia. "Whatever you say will remain between you and me."

"R-r-r-really?"

"Absolutely!" Starlight smiled out of habit. Who knew that my experience brainwashing ponies would come in handy? "Now don't be ashamed and tell me exactly what the problem is."

"Well, I..." Whatever the issue was, it obviously was bothering the Toffee. The fear, the slight stuttering, the reluctance to share... combined with magic, there could only be a few things that came to mind. "I have problems levitating objects!"

"What?" Starlight almost fell off her chair. Talk about anticlimactic. "Exactly how old are you, Toffee?"

"I'm over twenty," the called squeaked back in shame.

"Why so ashamed then? It's not like you're a filly and—" Starlight suddenly stopped. Oooh! I see! A unicorn mare having levitation problems was considered shameful. In most cases the condition was hereditary and required weekly therapy. In Toffee's case, however, Starlight suspected the cause to be a more recent development. "Have you been in contact with any cursed artifacts or suspicious ponies recently?"

"Umm, I don't think so?" The tone in which this was said clearly told Starlight the answer was yes. "At least, I don't think I have." Uh-ha. Sure you haven't. Nopony ever has.

"Toffee, I'll ask you to do something." Starlight moved closer to the voice crystal. "Can you do that for me?"

"Err, okay? Will it hurt?"

"Of course not." No promises. "Do you have any small objects nearby? A pebble, a bit, anything of that size." Based on the information so far there were a number of possibilities. Focusing on the less exotic, three options stood out: a disabling spell, a mana deficiency, or some sort of a horn ailment. Having Toffee levitate a small object would clearly show which of the three it was.

"Is a glass marble okay?" Toffee's voice sounded further back.

"It's fine. Just put it on the ground in front of you and try using your horn to push it down." If she feels a sharp pain then it has to be a disabling spell. Otherwise, probably something wrong with Toffee's mana flow.

"Can I use my wing instead?" A hint of annoyance came through the voice crystal.

Starlight sighed. "No, you have to use magic so I can find the nature of the problem," Starlight explained patiently. My first caller and she's an idiot. Why can't ponies understand that in order to test magic, they need to— Starlight stopped. Only now did it dawn upon her. The caller was lying. "Wait! You have wings?!"

"Err, yes?" Toffee replied innocently. "Is that bad?"

"Pegasi can't levitate!" Unless you consider flying a form of levitation. "We've been talking about levitation spells all this time and you didn't bother to tell me you aren't a unicorn?!"

"Oops, heh heh. My bad." The voice crystal lost its glow. The conversation had ended.

For over a minute Starlight just stared blankly, her mind refusing to believe what had happened. Levitation problems, pegasus... Was I pranked just now? The very first call and somepony used the Friendship Hotline for a prank? This was... quite impressive, to be honest. Who even knew it was functional, let alone had the courage to use it? Given a choice, Starlight wouldn't, and she was Princess Twilight's pupil.

"You know what," she said looking at the voice crystal. "I'm not even mad." Toffee Shine, eh? Well, I'll be sure to ask around town about you. Sooner or later I will find you and then we’ll see whose pranks are better.

Thoughts of counter-pranks started circulating through her mind, each more devious than the last. With a few adjustments to the original voice crystal spell, Starlight could easily give any future prankster quite the shocking experience. All she had to do was—

The crystal started flashing again. Starlight's hoof reacted on its own accord tapping the hard surface.

"Toffee?" she asked without thinking,

"Starlight?" The voice of a quite shocked and slightly disappointed Twilight came from the other end.

Oh, horseapples! The unicorn bit her lip. "Why, Twilight, how are you? So good to hear you. Is everything going well?"

"It seems to be going better than where you are!" The Princess wasn't mincing words. "I thought I could rely on you!"

"You could. You can." Starlight grabbed the voice crystal, moving it closer to her mouth. I hate when this happens! "I just—"

"What if this had been a real call?" Twilight cut her short. So much for excuses and explanations. "Do you imagine what could have happened? Not only would the pony seeking help feel confused and ignored, but the experience would erode trust in the hotline as a whole!"

"Yes. Right. I know." Maybe I shouldn't mention the crank call just now. After all, it's not like anypony got hurt or anything. "And I'm sorry. I just was so impressed by the magnificent work you've done, that I completely forgot what I was doing. It's such a breathtaking achievement!"

"Hmm," Twilight said, obviously not convinced. If there was one thing Starlight knew, however, it was how to use flattery to her advantage.

"Such a bold and innovative approach is certain to change Equestria for the generations to come!" The unicorn brushed the sweat off her forehead. "Why, even Princess Celestia uses the old method of dragon mail."

"I know, right!" Twilight's joyful intonation made Starlight relax. "It's high time we moved to more modern methods! I've already arranged Friendship and Magic Hotline Assistance Booths to be placed in other cities! As soon as this picks up it will become the best thing ever!"

Other cities? Please be joking! "That's nice." Starlight swallowed. "I guess you have your work cut out for you..."

"Oh, don't be so modest, Starlight! You're part of this as well." The words made Starlight’s mane stand on edge. "You are my pupil, after all."

"How nice." Damn it!

"Anyway, I'm just calling to check if everything's fine. I mentioned the hotline to a few ponies and think I managed to convince them to give it a try!" Twilight sounded dangerously enthusiastic. "With luck some of them might be calling in a matter of minutes!"

"Great..." Starlight's ears fell flat on her head.

"Just remember the proper greeting and be sure to take lots of notes! I'll be back in a few hours to check on your progress!" And just like that, the crystal went colorless.

“Check on my progress…” Starlight repeated gloomily.

That was the problem with Twilight. When she became obsessed with something, she always went all out. The get-to-know-my-friends mania, the make-some-friends-of-your-own mania... This was just another example, and while Starlight was grateful she had dodged a lightning bolt, she couldn't help but feel a sense of impending doom. Maybe it wasn't too late to cast a—

*Flash* *Flash* *Flash*

Argh! Starlight felt like slamming her head against the desk. Here we go again. Eyeing the crystal as if it were her mortal enemy, she gave it a hard tap.

"Hello and welcome to Twilight's Friendship Hotline," she said, every word dripping with false politeness. "This is Starlight. How may I be of help?"

"Err, yes, hello." Another nervous caller by the sound of it. This time, Starlight didn't put her guard down. It was entirely possible for this to be another pranker. "I have a rather unusual problem."

"Yes?" The unicorn narrowed her eyes.

"I suppose you could call it a Friendship problem, although..." He called sighed audibly. "Anything I say is kept confidential, right?"

"Absolutely!" Heh, I wonder what big problem this one would come up with.

"Well, I suppose that's a relief. You see, I think I've been taking advantage of my friendship with certain ponies. A monstrous thing, I know, but I just can't help myself! It's all so easy." Easy? Easy?! All this time and I’ve managed to make precisely one new friend! Easy, eh? "And I know they’re suffering as a result."

"Huh?" Not wasting a moment, Starlight started going through Twilight's flashcards. Suffering as a result of friendship. Suffering. Did Twilight put this under S for Suffering or F for Friendship?

"You see... I'm a changeling." Starlight's initial reaction was to freeze. A changeling in Ponyville? This was serious! Twilight had warned her about them! They were vile, treacherous insects that fed on love, turning ponies into empty emotionless husks of their former selves. For one to be here it could well mean the start of a new invasion.

Wait a minute! Starlight came back to her senses. No way there was a changeling talking to her! Undoubtedly another prank. This one was far worse than the previous. Quite obvious, when one thought about it. Changelings. Ha! Well, Starlight wasn't having any more of that!

"Ha, ha! Very funny!" she grumbled, levitating the flashcards back down again. "Had me there for a moment."

"Let me assure you, I am a changeling." The caller insisted.

"Prove it!" Starlight crossed her forehooves.

"Very well," the pony on the other side sighed. Oh, this will be good! Starlight grinned. "Does this convince you?" The voice changed from male to female. Something more, it was Starlight's own voice, identical to the very last detail. "Or maybe this?" The voice shifted again, only now it sounded as if Twilight was speaking.

"By Starswirl's beard!" Starlight felt faint. This wasn't good. A changeling, a real live changeling was on the other side of the call, and was asking her for friendship advice! What was she supposed to do? She wasn't ready for this! She couldn't even deal with normal friendship problems! Nopony taught her a thing about changeling counseling!

"Do you want to hear my Celestia?" The changeling offered in its original male voice. "I do a really mean Celestia. I've even managed to get the sighs right."

"Err, no, thanks." What should I do? If I tell Twilight she'll freak out. Will she even believe me? There shouldn't be changelings in Ponyville! She'll probably think I'm making things up to avoid taking calls. And then she'll get all upset and sad, and start blaming herself...

"Hello? Are you still there?"

"Yes!" Starlight jumped to attention, knocking the chair to the floor. "Yes I'm here." This is bad! This is really bad! As much as she didn't want to admit it, she was left with one remaining option. No doubt she would hate herself later, but right now she had to do this. "What seems to be your problem?" Starlight asked tensely.

Author's Notes:

Let the confusion begin.
Comments, thoughts and suggestions appreciated :)