"Hello, you have reached the Friendship and Magic hotline!" Twilight said eagerly. "This is Princess Twilight Sparkle speaking, and let me assure you I’ll be happy to assist you in any Friendship or Magic problems you might have, no matter how large or small!"

Tapping her hooves in joy, Twilight looked eagerly at voice crystal. Oh my goodness! I can't believe this is actually happening! This will change Equestria as we know it! No longer will ponies have to wait for us to reach them to solve their Friendship and Magic problems. Instead they’ll be able to get in touch with me directly!

Sadly, the waiting quickly shriveled her enthusiasm. Seconds passed in silence. Twilight's grin gradually turned into a smile, then a frown.

"Rainbow!" she said critically to the voice crystal. "You are supposed to tell me your problem! We can't test the hotline without the actual test!"

"Gee, Twi, this is really lame!" a raspy voice replied. "Do I have to? It rings, you can hear me..."

"If we don't do the complete test, there's no point in doing a test at all!" Twilight said sharply, then instantly covered her mouth. Bad choice of words. Knowing Rainbow Dash, she would take this as an excuse to fly off. I need to think of something quickly! "Would Spitfire quit a race after the first lap?" If this doesn't grab her attention, nothing will. "I think not. As you know, the Wonderbolts are an inspiration to all of Equestria precisely because they are reliable and take no shortcuts when—"

"All right, all right!" Rainbow yelled back, cutting her off. "Give me a moment to think of something."

Twilight rolled her eyes. So much for a perfect test run, she grumbled. It was supposed to be a simple task, more than simple! A filly could have done better. All that was needed of Rainbow Dash was to—

"Hey, Twilight." Spike walked into the room, causing Twilight jump in her chair. "I wasn't able to put the sign above the closet, so I—" He suddenly stopped. His eyes moved from the gasping for breath alicorn to the glowing voice crystal on the desk in front of her. "Whoa! You got it to work!" He rushed past the Princess without a second glance. "Neat! Can I try it?"

"Spike!" Twilight quickly came to her senses, pushing the little dragon away. "We are in the middle of a very important test!" She carefully readjusted her seat. "And this is not a closet, but the Friendship and Magic Hotline Assistance Room!"

"FAMHAR?" Spike glanced at her skeptically. "Seriously? That's what you came up with?" He crossed his arms. Twilight felt the urge to strangle him. I'll have you know the name I chose is perfectly accurate, Spike! "You really need to work on that.” The dragon scratched his chin. "Twilight's Friendship Hotline sounds way better."

"Spiiike!" Twilight raised her voice. "This is not the issue! Now go and put up the sign! Rainbow and I have an important test we must conclude!"

"Yeah, yeah," the dragon grumbled and left the room.

"Finally! Now where were we?" Twilight turned to the voice crystal. "Rainbow, you can begin."

"I'm thinking!" The annoyed response was immediate.

"Rainbow," Twilight sighed audibly. "I gave you five scrolls of questions to choose from, remember?"

"What? Oh, right!" Even through the voice crystal Twilight could hear the pegasus scrambling to find the scrolls. Tapping patiently on the desk with her hoof, she waited. "So. Err. I got into a argument with my best friend. What should I do?" Rainbow Dash read, barely stringing the words in a proper question.

"Well, Rainbow Dash, I am glad you asked!" The question quickly restored Twilight's enthusiasm. Pleased, she levitated a stack of flashcards in front of her. "This is a very serious, yet common friendship problem. As such, there are a vast number of ways for you to deal with it. I personally recommend moving your friend out of your friendship zone for a short while, then inviting her back in again."

"Wait, what?" Rainbow asked utterly confused.

"Taking a while to cool down has proven to work wonders in restoring strained friendships." Twilight went on. "In most cases this is the result of a misunderstanding, stubbornness or a foalish decision. Both sides feel equally hurt, leading to potential tension between them. However, after a brief separation, both sides are likely to realize their mistakes and reconcile their differences once given an opportunity!"

"Err, I don't know, Twilight, that doesn't sound right." Rainbow Dash didn't seem at all convinced. "Are you sure about it?"

"Perfect!" Twilight clapped her hooves together. "It works wonderfully! And you’re sure that everypony knows about the Friendship and Magic Hotline Assistance Booths?"

"Yes, Twilight, I’m sure! You had me and the girls place them around town all week long!" There was no mistaking the level of annoyance in Rainbow's words. "There isn't a pony in Equestria that hasn't heard about them!"

"Great! If this works, I'll be able to solve Friendship and Magic problems throughout Equestria!" Princess Celestia will be so proud! I can't wait to give her my first Friendship and Magic Hotline statistic! That way she'll see first hoof how serious I'm taking my responsibility as Princess of Friendship!

Suddenly the voice crystal started flashing a bright purple. Already? This is so exciting! Twilight beamed with joy. Ten seconds after the test run she was getting her very first real call!

"Hello, you have reached the Friendship and Magic hotline!" Twilight began. "This is Princess Twilight Sparkle speaking—"

"Yes, hello, darling." The caller interrupted her. "Could you please send Spikey-wikey for a few hours, please? My last collection has exhausted my supply of gems and I simply cannot start work on my next without an adequate amount."

"Rarity!" Twilight grumbled. "This is a Friendship and Magic hotline, not a fashion hotline!"

"My fashion is magic, darling." Came the confident response. "Furthermore, I shall require you to pass by the boutique to get the thing for the pony."

"The what for the what?" Twilight blinked, completely forgetting she was supposed to be annoyed. Did I place an order of any sort? She certainly didn't remember that happening. All the work on the Friendship hotline had her slightly distracted, so it wasn't out if the question she had asked Rarity to do something for her, then completely forgotten about it.

"The thing," Rarity repeated. "For your apprentice."

"Rarity, what are you talking about?" This is ridiculous! What does Starlight have to do with anything? "Oooh!" She suddenly remembered. "You mean the dress?"

"Please try to be discrete, darling." Rarity sighed loudly. "And don't forget to bring Spikey-wikey."

Before Twilight could put in a word the conversation was over. Well, this is just great! She was on the verge of changing Equestrian history and Rarity was bothering her with something as trivial as fashion? Any reasonable mare would simply ignore such a request. That's what she should do! For nearly a minute Twilight stood there looking at the voice crystal, hoping for its support. If a pony, any pony, were to call now and ask for advice she would have no choice but to help. Unfortunately, nothing of the sort happened.

"Fine, you win, Rarity!" Twilight said begrudgingly. "Starlight!" she yelled loudly. She might be going to the Carousel Boutique, but she certainly wasn't leaving her apparatus unattended, and if Spike had to go carry Rarity's gems, somepony had to keep an eye on things. “Starlight!” The Princess yelled louder. still no response. Huffing, Twilight trotted outside. She was hoping that her yell had at least attracted her pupil's attention. Instead, she saw a guilty-looking Spike who was attempting to place a badly written sign above the door. Oh, Spike. Twilight hid her giggle behind a hoof, then effortlessly levitated the sign to its proper place.

"There you go, Spike." She smiled. Despite the frequent sarcasm and the occasional mess, Spike put a lot of effort in his work. "Have you seen Starlight?"

"She said she was going to get some breakfast." He paused for a moment. "I think. If you want I can go find—" a blue flash of light popped in front of him, along with Starlight Glimmer, "—her."

"Here!" Starlight quickly said. "I'm here! Just needed a while to get my mane done."

The excuse of the week. Both Twilight and Spike rolled their eyes. There was hardly anything shameful in admitting somepony was getting lost in the castle, even after all this time. For some reason, however, Starlight took it personally, and kept on inventing absurd excuses. Last week had been ‘checking her Friendship notes’.

"Well," Twilight coughed. "Starlight, I'd like you to keep an eye on the Friendship and Magic Hotline Assistance Room."

Starlight stared at her blankly.

"Twilight's Friendship Hotline," Spike whispered.

"Ahem!" Twilight gave the dragon a warning glare. "As I was saying, Spike and I will out for a few hours and I'd like you to be here should anypony call in the meantime." Starlight's expression stretched in fear. "I'm aware that you are not fully prepared to deal with all friendship problems yet, but this is a good opportunity for you to get some hooves on experience!" Starlight cowered, shivering as her fear transformed into unadulterated horror. "And just in case, I have written down the answers to all common questions, should you have any trouble."

"Isn't that nice," Starlight laughed tensely, taking a few steps back. "So very thoughtful, as always. Such a pity that I must finish writing that friendship report you wanted..."

"Nonsense!" Twilight smiled. "You can finish it after I return."

Starlight's ears drooped. She knew when she was defeated. Taking a deep breath, she walked past Twilight and Spike into the room.

"This is the voice crystal." Twilight wasted no time to start explaining. "If it starts glowing purple just tap it and you'll be able to talk with the pony on the other end. Remember, always to introduce yourself and state the reason you are here."

"Sounds simple enough—"

"And remember never to rush them! The secret to helping somepony is to understanding what they are going through."

"That makes sense, but—"

"And look at the statistics I've assembled to determine the best advice possible, and be sure to fill out a simple form after each call." Twilight patted her on the shoulder. "I'm sure you'll do fine."

"But what if—" A flash of purple filled the room before Starlight could finish. A split second later, Twilight and Spike were gone. "Okay..." The pony looked nervously at the voice crystal. "How hard could it be?" Drops of sweat appeared on her forehead. "Just answer the crystal and talk about friendship problems. It's not the end of Equestria.” She let out another tense laugh. “Besides, Twilight just set this up. It's not like anypony would start using it right away."

As if to prove her wrong, the crystal started flashing purple. If there was a worst possible outcome this was it. For ten seconds Starlight just stood there still as a statue. The flashing persisted. Whoever was calling had no intent of quitting.

"Just my luck," Starlight sighed. Taking a deep breath she tapped on the crystal. "Hello, this is Twilight's Friendship Hotline. How may I help you?"

Author's Notes:

On to something new.
Any advice, comments and suggestions welcome :)