"You're not a monster, Starlight." Twilight levitated a fresh box of tissues to the sobbing unicorn. So far this was the third one. "I didn't say it intentionally. It was just the first example that popped into my mind." Another empty bucket of ice cream fell to the floor, replaced by a fresh one from the fridge.

I'm such an idiot! Twilight's ears folded back. Of all the things I could have said I had to— She shook her head violently, trying to forget the unfortunate incident. Good thing she had ice cream to spare.

"Would I take you as my apprentice if I didn't think you'd changed?" She patted Starlight on the back. "Would Princess Celestia have agreed to it?"

"I...I..." Starlight blew her nose into a tissue. She had been doing that nonstop for the last half hour, to the point that the tip had reddened significantly.

"Just look at what you've accomplished!" Twilight quickly continued. "You were the first to receive a positive rating." Starlight looked at her confused, ice cream dripping from her spoon onto the table. "And from Diamond Tiara no less!" I must say I'm impressed with that. Although, technically Diamond shouting her lungs off that the service was "professional" might not exactly be considered proper feedback. "Even—"

"I'm a horrible pony!" Starlight burst out in tears again. "You and the others have been so nice to me, and I still..." She sniffed deeply, causing Twilight to cringe. Use the tissue, use the tissue! She ground her teeth. "Princess Luna came to talk to me yesterday. She said... She said..."

"The Princess of the Night can be a bit harsh at times." Twilight frowned. She still was upset at the undue criticism of her favourite coffee brand. "You really mustn't—"

"She said I must stop taking over Equestria in my dreams!" This time the unicorn blew her nose. "She also said it was inefficient, sloppy, and I would never get anything done with my harem mania!"

"Typical!" Twilight humphed. "And I expect that she also said... Harem mania?!" Her mind suddenly froze as it assessed the implications. Harem? As in more than one?

"Yes!" Starlight's spoon scooped half the contents of the ice cream bucket in front of her then shoved it in her mouth. "Flmmpf flmmpf flfff, flath, mmmph, blahgggghspf!" She tried to say, gesticulating as she did so.

Twilight felt her mane stand on edge. Calm! I must remain calm! Her manners are excused. Just this once. They are excused. Just please stop talking with your mouth full!

"Err, could you repeat that?" The Princess smiled tensely. In truth she was more than a little curious to hear the explanation, and in some detail. "I was a bit distracted. It would be nice if—"

"Yo, Twilight!" The door swung open, revealing a slightly confused Spike. "Have you seen the fridge? It's disappeared from the kitchen and I can't..." His voice trailed off. His gaze fell on the buckets of ice cream covering the floor, then the pair of ponies, finally settling on the fridge itself.

"Spike!" Twilight grumbled. "This is hardly the best time to—"

"So you took it here," he interrupted, sort of hurt. "Nah, I get it. You and your 'girl' talk and such. You could have told me, though. It's not like I'm a stranger to these things. Besides, you're lousy at keeping secrets."

"What are you talking about, Spike?" Twilight was having none of that. She had enough problems as it was, not the least of which a significant coffee and ice cream shortage. Getting Starlight to calm down was all fine and well, but Twilight had nearly depleted her stash in the process. Right now she wasn't at all in the mood for the dragon's shenanigans.

"Please, Twilight." He gave her the all-knowing level-eyed look. "I know. You broke up, didn't you? And now you and Starlight are drowning your sorrows in ice cream."

"What?!" Both Twilight and Starlight shouted in unison.

"Hey, I don't judge!" Spike waved his arms defensively. "If ice cream makes you feel better, go for it. Just next time tell me so I don't spend half the morning making pancakes, only to find that you've eaten."

"Pancakes? What?" Twilight jumped down from the couch. "No! There's no break up! We were just discussing..." she hesitated. Telling him the real issue would be an incredible faux pas. He was bound to make matters worse and drive Starlight back to crying.

"Suuure." The dragon crossed his arms. "Just like neither of you was reading pickup lines for stallions."

What? Starlight has been reading that also? Why that little traitor! And she assured me that she wasn't seeing anypony! Shocked, she turned towards Starlight, only to see the very same look in her student's eyes. That certainly was awkward. For almost a minute the two started at each other. No words were exchanged, but beneath the surface a hidden battle of accusations and counter accusations was taking place.

So you are seeing somepony! Twilight thought. And you didn't tell me?!

I knew you were after my Sunburst! A glint of jealousy appeared in Starlight's eyes.

And you took the best books on the subject without telling me!

How could you be so greedy?! Isn't tail flicking to some strange changeling enough for you? Apparently not! You want to have every stallion, don't you!?

Under my own roof! Books from my own library! I guess now I know where the romance novels have been disappearing to!

"Err, girls?" Spike dared speak only to get a pair of deathly glares from them. And while none of them shouted "what" they might well have. "I think..." Hand shivering he pointed to something behind them. Both mares turned around. The voice crystal was blinking.

"I think it's best you deal with this," Twilight said icily. "You are my number one assistant, after all. Don't you agree, Starlight?"

"Definitely." Starlight's voice felt twice as cold, if that were even possible. "You got this, Spike. Don't mind us, or anything..."

"Ookay," the dragon said with the expression of one walking on broken glass. Both mares kept him in their sights as he gingerly went to the voice crystal and tapped it. "Hey! Welcome to Twilight's Friendship Hotline..." He paused, looking uncertainly at Twilight. "Where we solve problems big and small?" The alicorn's eyes narrowed. "Friendship, magic and that all?"

Who is she seeing? Twilight maintained her angry exterior, while bursting with curiosity on the inside. Try as she might, she couldn't remember an instance in which Starlight had spent time with a stallion. For the most part the unicorn remained hidden away in the castle, only going out to do errands or see Trixie. If there was a stallion, she was keeping him very well hidden and... Twilight froze like a strawberry in winter. Of course! How could I be so blind?! It was in front of my muzzle the entire time!

"Trixie!" the Princess shouted victoriously.

"Hello, Twilight," a cheerful response came from the voice crystal. "Trixie is honored that you've missed her. And let me say that the hotline is a wonderful idea."

"Trixie?" Twilight blinked. Her brows raised in confusion, turning towards Spike in an attempt to confirm she had heard correctly. The dragon shrugged, his mouth twisting into a hey-not-my-fault smile.

"Trixie was wondering if she could have a word with her dear friend Starry," the magician went on. There wasn't even a hint if pause, her words pouring into the room like the steam of a train roaring at full speed. Twilight's mouth slowly curved into a sly smile. Her eyes half closed completing a smug expression as she glanced knowingly at her apprentice.

"What?" Starlight asked, a faint pink line already forming on her muzzle.

Ha! I knew it! "Of course, Trixie." Twilight's smile turned into merciless grin. "One question, when you say friend, do you mean best friend?"

"Err?" Confusion stopped the train of words for just a moment. "Well, of course!" Trixie said with such confidence, making Starlight shift uneasily under the victorious glance of her mentor. "Starlight Glimmer is not just Trixie's best friend! She is, as Trixie likes to say, far more special than that."

"Oooh, special?" Twilight's smile could almost reach her ears. In contrast Starlight had become a bundle of shame, face burning bright purple, as she levitated a half-full bucket of ice cream in an attempt to hide it.

"Is it that surprising?" Trixie asked. "Do you not consider her special?" This time even Spike started snickering. "You might be used to such attention from your friends, but for Trixie, Starry is the most special pony in all of Equestria." The dragon rolled on the ground holding his mouth with both hands. A few steps away, Twilight was using all her strength of will not to join him. Please, keep talking, Trixie. She knew it was bad, but she couldn't help but enjoy a bit of vengeance. "Trixie is an entirely different mare when she's around Starry!"

"Oh?" Twilight managed to ask, seconds before Starlight cast a silence bubble around her muzzle. Nice try, my apprentice, but you are not a master yet! Her horn flashed, shattering the bubble to pieces. "How exactly?"

"How?" Trixie sounded deep in thought. Starlight made an attempt to reach the voice Crystal, but Twilight quickly froze her in place. Oh, no you don't! The alicorn grinned maliciously. "When Starry is near Trixie feels things Trixie has never felt before. And Trixie feels all warm and shiny, as if the sun is caressing her mane."

Laughs and chuckles started escaping Spike and Twilight. That's great, Trixie! It's like you're doing it on purpose!

"Just a few days ago, Trixie took Starry swimming, and—"

"There's no need to go into that!" Starlight managed to break free from Twilight's magic hold. "I'm sure the princess is quite busy with the hotline. Also, I'm at work so it's not a good time to talk about such things."

"Humph!" Trixie didn't seem pleased one bit. "So Twilight is being a work tyrant again? Would you please tell the Princess that Trixie doesn't approve of her work ethic. The employer-employee relationship is at the heart of every business—"

"Employer-employee relationships!" Spike laughed, hitting the floor with both hands.

"And if Twilight truly wishes for her experiment to grow and become a success, she has to be mindful of that, and not crush her employees under the weight of a thousand whims!" Laughter filled the room to a point that even Starlight's magic couldn't keep it down. "A real employer would... What? Do you think Trixie is being funny?!" The laughter intensified. "Well, apparently Trixie was wrong about you after all!"

"No, Trix... Argh!" Starlight covered her face with both hooves. "Twilight is just being silly with something here. It has nothing to do with you."

"Humour? That's a good thing to have at a workplace. " Trixie agreed. "As long as Twilight is treating you with care, all is fine."

"Treating her with care," Spike whispered through laughs. His eyes were full of tears.

"Yes, it's a barrel of laughs here," Starlight said in a level voice. "So, why are you calling? Is everything alright? You know if there's a problem you can talk to me anytime."

"Yes, and Trixie is happy to do that, but at present she is calling to ask Twilight something." Trixie cleared her throat. "Twilight, what positions do you have?"

"What?" The alicorn's laughter subsided. You didn't seriously ask me that!

"You know, are there any open positions?" Trixie went on as if nothing had happened. A deathly silence filled the room. "Because Trixie is available and quite capable."

Twilight glared at her student, giving her an is-she-serious look. In turn Starlight just waved a confused hoof, just as concerned on the matter. I never knew Trixie was so open minded about things, Twilight thought. And in front of her special somepony too!

"As one who has been around Equestria, Trixie could offer a vast number of skills that would be perfect for the role of Hotline assistant," the magician said proudly.

"Assistant?" Twilight blinked. "You're asking for a job?" A sigh of relief filled the room.

"Of course. Trixie has been telling you that for a while now!" Her temper didn't seem to have improved much by the experience. "Is the voice spell not working properly?"

"No, it's fine... I'm just surprised." I am understaffed... But Trixie? This is a disaster waiting to happen. "Maybe you can send a resume?" But if I don't, Starlight would be upset, and then I'll have to rely on Spike alone. "Have ‘Starry’ give it to me and we'll—"

"Oh thank you, Twilight! Trixie will start working on that immediately!" She cut the Princess off. "You'll have it by tomorrow morning! And rest assured, Trixie will be the best employee there is! After Starry, of course."

There were so many things Twilight wanted to say and ask, but before she could manage even one, the Crystal turned dim. Well, at least she knows how to work adequately with the technology. Applying for a job, though... It just felt so wrong. Worst part, there was no objective reason Twilight could turn her down. Starlight had done pretty much the same things Trixie had, and she was "employed" to work at the hotline. Twilight had to come up with a new excuse and fast.

"So, umm..." Starlight broke the silence. "Can I take the morning shift? I want to go somewhere in the afternoon."

"Sure." Twilight was barely registering the question, still thinking how to get out of the potential mess involving Trixie. "Spike will take the afternoon."

"Yes!" The dragon jumped off the ground. "Sweet!"

"And I'll see what our policy about night calls will be." How did things get so complicated so fast? Starlight having a hidden affair with Trixie, Trixie wanting to start working here. I don't even want to think what those two would do when they're together here. "So, that's it. Breakfast?"

Starlight silently nodded. "Breakfast's good," she attempted an uncomfortable smile.

I really hope there aren't any other surprises this morning...