Trixie, you idiot! Starlight gnashed her teeth. Of course Trixie would phone at the worst possible moment and mess things up big time. She was great as a friend—the greatest even—yet she had a knack for getting everypony to misunderstand her in the worst possible ways. If there was a Princess of Misunderstanding she would fit the role swimmingly.

More than a best friend. Starlight cast a bolt of light at the wall. The crystal surface shimmered and rippled like a pool of water, filling the crack that scarred it. Now Twilight has it in her mule's skull that Trixie and I are an item! Another bolt of light and another crack vanished off the wall. Starlight had no idea what her mentor had been doing all night, but the room had definitely been subjected to scary amounts of torture. In fact, this was the only reason Starlight hadn't openly opposed Twilight regarding the Trixie issue. If experience had taught her anything, it was that one never argues with an over-caffeinated alicorn.

"Whoa!" Spike entered the room carrying a stack of pancakes. "You have mad skills, Star! Just look at this place! It's good as new!"

Bless your little heart. The unicorn smiled. At least you're here to brighten up my day.

"Pancake?" The dragon offered, placing the plate near the voice crystal. "They're really good. I put in extra honey!"

"Sure, why not?" Starlight shrugged. She wasn't particularly hungry after all that ice cream, but a few pancakes never hurt anypony. Not when one knew a quick dieting spell, that is. All the sweets one could hope for and not an ounce of fat on her rump. "Wherr wi Twiwai?" She asked chomping down a whole pancake.

"Twi?" Spike gently pushed the plate closer to Starlight. "She said something about important business and such. Between you and me, she's off playing with her gamer friends. The last few months she's been constantly complaining that she's dropped to second page of the leaderboards. Like, I understand, but seriously? With all that yelling and shouting every time she gets killed I might as well move out."

That's strange. Starlight levitated another pancake straight into her mouth. I never heard anything of the sort. Maybe dragon hearing is more sensitive? Or maybe Twilight surrounds my room with a silence bubble?

A third pancake was on its way when the voice crystal started blinking. Of course... Starlight frowned. For several seconds she just started at it, the pancake floating inches away from her face, challenging it the crystal to a duel. Then, without warning, she bit into the slice of dough.

"Spigh." She gestured to the dragon to take the call.

"Yeah, sure." He rushed forward and tapped the crystal. "Welcome to Twilight's Friendship H—"

"Spike?" A familiar raspy voice interrupted. "Where's Twilight?"

"Rainbow Dash?" The dragon turned towards Starlight, surprised. She, on her hand just looked back blankly in an attempt to enjoy her food. "Err, Twilight’s not here right now... Weren't you supposed to organize a storm this week? Three days of rain, I think?"

"Huh? What? No!" The silent quiver of Rainbow's voice could be heard even through the crystal. "Pfft! Of course not! That starts tomorrow! Pfft!"

"Riiiight." Spike crossed his arms.

"Just give me a moment. Gotta finish something and I'll be right back!" A loud flapping noise filled the room, followed by silence.

Seconds passed. Then a minute. Two minutes. Starlight had finished half of the pancakes and even offered Spike one. All that time the voice crystal had remained glowing, yet silent. Whatever Rainbow Dash was doing, it definitely was taking more than just a moment.

"Spike, you better go do your stuff," Starlight said with an understanding smile. Not your fault Miss a-hundred-and-twenty-percent-ego flew off to brag somewhere. "I'll handle things till noon. Just remember to be back by two."

"Thanks, Star!" The dragon beamed. "Promise I'll be back on time!" He dashed out like a flash. Starlight shook her head. She didn't need to guess what his plans for the morning were. Then again, the afternoon was hers. After last night's events she was in dire need of a full spa pampering.

Three pancakes were left on the plate. Starlight glanced at them, then at the crystal, then at the pancakes again. A single drop of saliva slid down the corner of her mouth, seconds before she wiped it off in one decisive stroke. I might as well. She whooshed her tail twice, then bit into all three pancakes Pinkie-Pie style. No sooner had she done so, than a loud crackle came from the voice crystal.

"Sorry about that, Spike," Rainbow Dash said panting, trying to catch her breath. "Had to make sure nopony could listen in."

Sure, you did. Starlight rolled her eyes.

"Like, I don't want anypony to learn what I'm about to say here. Got that?" Rainbow's voice suddenly transformed into a yell, nearly knocking Starlight on the floor of shock. "Not Princess Celestia, not Twilight, and especially not Starlight!"

Of course, I'll be the last one to confide in, the unicorn thought as she struggled not to choke on pancake pieces. If she wasn't eating she would have shouted back instantly. Why did ponies keep taking her for a brain washing, time distorting, equality obsessed tyrant?

"Now, I know what you're thinking," Rainbow Dash went on. "I'm so awesome nothing could scare me, right? Well, that's true, but there's this one little thing..." Her voice trailed off, giving way to the shuffling of wings. "Like, Starlight has a really messed up past, right? Heck, she even stole our cutie marks!"

Starlight’s magic aura slid the plate of pancake remnants to the side, opening a clear path for her to shout right into the crystal. One word! Just one more word, and I'll—

"And still, I... I've fallen for her, like really bad." The phrase made Starlight freeze mid-step. Whaaa? "Like thunderbolt bad."

The magic glow vanished. Starlight's jaw dropped, spilling pieces of pancake on the floor. Did Rainbow actually say that? Her ears turned towards the voice crystal eager to hear more. How did you get such an idiotic thought in your head? Starlight shifted uneasily. For some reason she really felt like having more ice cream right now and lots of it.

"Yeah, funny, right?" Rainbow Dash sighed. "Things were simple when she was all evil and stuff. I just wanted to kick her in the face back then, but once she changed and all... Horseapples! Like, she's a unicorn! So what if she can fly? That doesn't make her all that special! Every pegasus can fly, right? It's, like, not a big deal or anything. Right?"

Starlight slowly closed her mouth and swallowed. Rainbow's rant had all the hallmarks of a completely smitten filly. This is ridiculous! At this point a professional hotline assistant would put an end to the conversation right there and then. All it would take was a quick few words, a warm, yet decisive explanation of the situation, followed by all the reasons why it wouldn't work. Instead, Starlight bit her lip. What would Sunburst think?

"You're a really good friend, Spike." A sad chuckle came from the crystal. "Listening to my trash. I really hate being like this." No kidding? Starlight thought. She could feel the clouds turning grey from the sadness in Rainbow’s voice. "How do you manage to live like this? I mean, you've been around Rarity for ages and she still barely notices you. Like, I've been at this for a few months and I can't drag myself out of bed."

Months?! Starlight's entire body twitched. Are you kidding me? Was that why you dragged a rain cloud over the beach? And then got into a fight with Trixie?

"I've so been trying to impress her," Rainbow whispered. "Constantly."

You better not be crying, you idiot! Starlight edged closer to the crystal. One of her ears drooped down while the other almost touched the voice device. It was so much like the romance novels that she had secretly been reading that she felt powerless to move away. She didn't even have the strength to end the call.

"And that stupid Rarity!" Rainbow Dash let out an annoyed puff of air, filling the room with static. "She was all 'darling, do you think that dress would look good on Starlight? Do you think this color would match her mane?' Like, duuuh! Of course she'll look nice in it! I crashed into two mannequins just imagining Starlight wearing the dress. And what's the deal with asking me for fashion advice? Rarity never takes advice! Like even for my own dress!"

My dress? Starlight could feel the blood rushing to her face. Well, it is a nice dress... This was the first time anypony had given her a compliment regarding her looks. Well, there was Trixie, but she tended to make buddy compliments; and Twilight only made her typical mentor compliments. This was the very first time anypony had given her a genuine romantic compliment, making Starlight unsure how to react.

"So, err, you think I should talk to her?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Starlight bit her hoof. Damn it! Why didn't I learn any voice changing spells! She felt like whispering ’yes’, but even a whisper would be enough for Rainbow Dash to catch on she wasn't Spike.

"Yeah, I hear what you're saying." Another deep sigh. "That'd be so hyper lame. It's not like I could catch her when she's alone. The only times she's not with Twilight she's with that witch Trixie!" Waves of rage emanated from the voice crystal. "I get they might share a slight villainous streak, but come one! And Starlight is just so awesomely cool!"

Starlight gaped.

"Like, don't tell her this, but I saw her cloud swim a few days back, and she was like whoa!" Upon hearing, Starlight scrunched her muzzle. Her eyes narrowed adding to the blush on her cheeks. Stupid, idiotic, winged chicken! "If Derpy wasn't there I'd totally have dashed down and used some of my awesomely cool pickup lines."

I'm not sure whether to be annoyed or flattered. Still, curious what pick up lines those were. Maybe pegasi have a different approach than unicorns? I'll have to read up on that.

"But I guess you're right," Rainbow continued. "Chances are she'll never notice me. And it'll be lame if I keep on giving her hints. You know how dense she is. Probably won't get it if I shouted it all to her face. Anyway, must run. Work and all. Thanks for hearing me out, Spike. I owe you one."

Before Starlight could reacquire her ability to speak, the voice crystal turned dim. The pseudo dialogue Rainbow Dash had held with "Spike" had come to an abrupt end, leaving Starlight in a state of utter confusion and disbelief. For several long minutes she stood there, waiting, hoping that the crystal would light back up.

"Well, that happened," she said staring blankly. Brainwashing villages was so much simpler. Zap, blam, no cutie mark, and everything was fine. All this friendship stuff is... She made a circle in the air with her hoof. And there's the special friendship, which is really bleh.

"Stupid Rainbow with her stupid delusions of... delusion-ness!" The unicorn humphed, summoning a bucket of ice cream. Not bothering with a spoon she buried her muzzle in the cherry flavored goodness. "Pwowwy puwwin a pwank on me aww awong!" She munched eagerly, chewing off pieces of ice cream and swallowing them almost immediately. There was no way Starlight would fall for that! Ever! Although, she did feel the sudden desire to put on her new dress and go bowling in the afternoon. The spa could wait. Besides, that had nothing to do with Rainbow Dash going bowling with her weather team after work!

The voice crystal flashed. The bucket of ice cream splashed on the floor, as Starlight eagerly tapped it.

"Hello, yes?" She instantly said, her heart pulsing in her throat.

"Hi, again," a depressed male voice responded.

"Shifty?" Starlight said with equal amounts of surprise and disappointment.

"I'm in serious trouble this time." A sigh of defeat followed. "I like the taste of alicorn love..."