An icy chill came from the crystal, forcing Twilight to curl up and wrap her legs round a whole jug of coffee in the hopes it would save her from the dread that invaded the room.

"We understand that you have been doing... things," the voice went on. "Things that were..." Drops of cold sweat started forming all over Twilight's face. "...wrong."

Oh, stars! They know! The Princess covered her mouth with a hoof as blood flooded her face giving it a deep purple tint.

"It was just research!" she said quickly, fully aware that every word was a lie. "I just needed it for work! And with Cadence having a foal, it's normal for me to start considering the option as—"

"We aren’t interested in your pathetic excuses!" a new voice cut her off. "We know perfectly well who you’re interested in and what you intend to do about it." If Twilight wasn't petrified with fear she'd groan in shame. "We’re concerned with something far more important."

"Yes," the first voice agreed. "You’ve done things that are considered unethical. Some would even call them unforgivable. Worse, you’ve done so without the slightest bit of remorse. Yet you still call yourself 'Princess of Friendship.' Were you lying before or are you lying now?"

Uh? With trembling hooves, Twilight lifted the jug and took a gulp of coffee. She was too stressed to use magic, too afraid to think logically. Her mind raced back through her past, trying desperately to find this unforgivable act she had done. Is it my temper? I've been shouting at Spike a lot lately. I've ridiculed him, ignored him... I continue to treat him as a child although he does most of the work in the castle. Guilt formed in her stomach like a block of ice. She could be a bit nicer to the little dragon. And not only him. She could stop micromanaging Starlight's life, stop trying endlessly to impress Celestia, start being more honest with herself about things... including her guilty pleasure of eating raw chocolate.

"You've made this 'Friendship Hotline' and named it after yourself," the voice said mercilessly. "But what did you really wish to achieve?"

"I... That's..." Twilight's hooves felt as ice blocks.

"There's only one thing that will determine your fate," the first voice stated.

"One question that might save your soul," the second voice added.

"Will you answer it truthfully?" First voice again.

"If you lie, we'll know!" Second voice.

Twilight swallowed, squeezing the jug even tighter. The truth. Must tell the truth, even if it's embarrassing. What could the question be, though? There were a few things she had done that she very didn't want others to know about. It had to be one of them.

"Why..." Twilight's ears turned towards the voice crystal. "Did..." Her heart was beating twice as fast. "You..." She held her breath, biting her lower lip. "Cheat in our multiplayer sessions?"

"I... What?!" Twilight blinked. For a second her brain refused to process the question, spinning the words in loop, while constantly allocating more and more mental resources. Cheating? Multiplayer? Nothing seemed to make the foggiest bit of sense. Seconds dragged on with Twilight only registering the slight draft in the room. Then something clicked. "Amethyst?" She ventured, cautiously.

"Took you long enough, doofus!" Laughter came from the other end. "I was starting to think we'd have to give you hints."

"I so wish I could see your face right now!" the second voice joined in. "Be honest, are you staring blankly with your mouth open like you do when you're killed in-game?"

"Lyra?" Twilight asked then instantly closed her mouth shut. I don't stare blankly! And you're one to talk, Miss Mouth-to-Hoof!

"Bingo!" Lyra said in her typical cheerful fashion.

"Guys!" Twilight huffed into the crystal. "Seriously? You did not just call me in the middle of the night, while I'm at work, for a prank call!"

"Oh, lighten up!" Typical for Amethyst not to take things seriously. Twilight envied that quality in her. To be honest, most of her old friends were quite carefree. "I bet you're glad for a pick-me-up after a night of boring calls. Thanks for helping Dinky, by the way. She's been praising you nonstop."

Oh, Right. Well, that's good. "So you're just calling for fun?" Twilight couldn't help herself. "No problems or such?"

"Oh, Twilight. We're fine," Lyra voiced in. "Well, maybe a bit upset you consider a game exploit a 'strategy'. But other than that."

"It is a valid stra—"

"Although..." Surprisingly, Lyra cut her off. Twilight tensed up. Such behaviour was unusual for Lyra. "There is one thing about Minuette..." I knew it! Twilight thought, as her friendly concern clashed with her professional bias. "She's into it again."

"Into wha—" Twilight started, but stopped halfway. There was only one thing Minuette got in trouble with, and being the hopeless romantic she was, it always ended biting her in the rump. "Don't tell me."

"Yes, she is," Amethyst sighed. "This time in Unicorn Champion. She's convinced StrongHooves443 is a stallion."

"Not that again!" Twilight facehooved with an audible sigh. "There are no stallions online! And even if there were, they'd probably be somepony's coltfriend. Did you try talking to her?"

"Twi, we've been doing nothing but talk this last week!" Amethyst said sharply. "She's fallen really hard. Minuette claims they've exchanged pictures and all, but knowing how careless she is, it's probably her doing all the sharing. Can you please lend a hoof? I'm not sure she could handle a repeat of last time."

Last time... That was the time when Minuette had sent several bank transfers — several hundred bits each — only to eventually find out that MuscleHorse was a mare and not a stallion as she had claimed online. The experience had crushed Minuette, who had remained locked in her home for weeks, buried in a fort of ice cream buckets. Why don't you ever learn, Minnie?! You're reckless with your personal information, trust anything you hear, and actually believe you'll find the love of your life playing online games. I really don't understand you sometimes.

"Any info on 'his' gamer card?" Twilight jotted the name of the user on one of her forms.

"Has been playing for several years, that's for sure," Lyra said. "I had Bonnie dig a little. Seems StrongHooves443 got hit on frequently in a few games, and left as a result. So far no indication he's been taking bits from anypony, but that's all. We tried to get him in voice chat, but Strong would always say no."

"Of course he would." Twilight rolled her eyes. "I bet he also didn't want to meet Minuette because of safety concerns."

"Right in one," Amethyst agreed. "I know it's asking a lot, but can you use your Princess status to check this out?"

"That might be a problem." Technically, I could, but that won't solve a thing. Even if I do help Minuette and catch the mare stringing her, what about all the others online? Also this will touch on the stallions in gaming problem.

Twilight sighed. This was another big one. Even in Ponyville, stallions preferred to keep their gaming activities secret. Button Mash was one of the brave ones who dared to be open about it, and even then he got plenty of hay about it at school. Good thing that Sweetie Belle was there to keep an eye out for him.

"I'll see what I can do," she said at last. "We were in the S.G.U., so maybe Princess Celestia would be of help. At the very least I'll bring the problem to light. She's not into games, though, so it might take some explaining."

Several "ah"s followed, conveying the sympathy reserved for one forced to explain technology to an elderly pony.

"So, we still on for tomorrow?" Lyra asked. "Bonnie said she might join in."

"I'll try." I really need to find more assistants. "The hotline might keep me busy."

"Come on. Let Spike handle it!" Amethyst urged. "He's temped for you dozens of times. He can handle one night."

"Err..." Leaving Spike alone really isn't a good idea. What if he messes up? Or what if the callers don't take him seriously? He has a good foundation, but... Blast it to Tartarus! I should stop treating him like a child! "Why not! Your place again? We can do it in the castle."

"And miss out on Bonnie's cooking?" Lyra sounded shocked by the mere suggestion. "No way!"

"Okay, you two," Twilight chuckled. "I'll be there. Now shoo! Some of us have work to do! And don't worry about Minuette. I'll deal with things."

"You're the best, Twi!" Lyra shouted. "See you!"

"Till tomorrow, cheater!" Amethyst joked.

You crazy girls. Twilight laughed. Gamer friends. There was nothing else like it. Even if work had diminished their game evenings from four times per week to two.

Freeing the coffee jug from her grip, Twilight got out of the chair and stretched. Remaining crouched during the length of the conversation combined with spending the night awake had made her feel quite stiff. The Princess was certain there was a spell for that, but right now she just wanted to enjoy the good old fashioned stretch, legs, back, wings and all.

What if Minuette really found a stallion? That would be the day. Such things only happen in books. Of course, they must exist. I know my brother used to play and he wasn't the only one in the guard to do so, but guard ponies are different. For one thing they aren't put through so much stress.

The voice crystal started blinking again. Twilight glanced at it, yawned, then calmly sat back down and tapped it. I'll have to find a way to auto use this.

"Hello, you have reached Twilight's Friendship Hotline," she said, trying her best to sound fully awake. "This is Princess Twilight Sparkle speaking. I’ll be happy to assist you in any Friendship or Magic problems you might have."

"Hello? Is this thing working?" an all too familiar male voice asked. "Testing, testing. Twilight. Can. You. Hear. Me?" The sound of tapping followed. Twilight was just about to answer, when the crystal suddenly went dim. A second later it started flashing again.

"Hello, you have reach—" Twilight begin again, only to have the crystal fade out again... only to start flashing moments later.

"Stupid technology!" the voice complained. "Why can't Twilight rely on proper magic? Oh, no, she had to make this complicated thingie because she's Twilight. 'Oh, look, I'm Twilight! I'm so smart! I want everypony to see how smart I am, so I build this over complicated machinery that only I can use, since only I am so smart!’"

"I can hear you, Discord," Twilight frowned. "And everything is working fine. Just talk into the crystal and don't tap—" The crystal faded again. "Damn it, Discord!" The Princess shouted. "Can't you get a simple voice crystal running?!"

"Well, I would if there were some instruction manual!" An extremely annoyed draconequus was standing behind her, forelimbs crossed. "You didn’t think this through, did you?"

"Manual? There are only three steps!" Twilight tried her best not to shout. "They are written on the booth along with pictures! It's so simple a foal can figure it out!" And they have! "Tap on crystal to start call. Once crystal stops blinking and lights up completely, speak slowly and clearly into it. Tap on crystal to end call. Simple!"

"Hmm." Discord narrowed his eyes. "I didn't see any draconequus pictures. How was I supposed to understand?"

"It's the same! It doesn't matter if you’re a pony or not!" Twilight's voice sounded louder with every word. "There's no way to mix it—"

Unimpressed, Discord snapped his fingers and promptly disappeared, leaving Twilight to fume at the empty room. Unbelievable! she thought, glaring forward. The Princess was on the verge of saying something very unprincessly when the voice crystal started flashing again.

"For the love of Equestria!" Twilight rolled her eyes, then tapped the crystal with a hoof. "Yes?!"

"What do you know?" Discord sounded quite amused. "It is easy!"

"What do you want, Discord?" Each word came out with the warmth and tenderness of an ice cube.

"That's no way to treat a client," the draconequus humphed from the other end.

"Friendship or magic problem?" I so much want to tie you in a knot right now!

"I have no idea." The answer came as the most casual thing ever. Leave it to the spirit of Chaos to raise a fuss about not being able to use the hotline, only to say he had no use of it. "I'm calling on behalf of a friend."

"Oh, really?" This ought to be good. Twilight tapped on the desk with a hoof.

"Absolutely. She also happens to be a good friend of Celestia's."

"And why can't this good friend of you and Princess Celestia use the hotline herself?" Twilight glared at the crystal in the hopes that would somehow cause Discord to feel discomforted. Knowing him, though, he would be unaffected even if he were right in front of her.

"Weeeell," Discord began, "she's mute, and needs someone to interpret for her."

This can't end well.