"You have got to be kidding me..." I couldn't believe what I was being dragged into. This morning started off so well. I woke up alone with a tray of pancakes by my side, took a much needed shower, and even managed to get a massage from one of the maids after complaining about how my back was hurting. She wasn't willing to give me a happy ending, which I thought was going to be the lowest point of my day...I was so wrong.

I started wandering the halls around seven in the morning. Waking up early is a small habit of mine and I'm not happy about it. Not even fifteen minutes into my walk I was approached by one of the vampires that the woman keeps around. Yes, I have taken to calling her 'The Woman.' One might bother to ask, Why; Well, the answer to that is simple.

For some reason I have found myself unable to call her by anything other than Ma, Mom, or Mother. So, to help keep what little bit of sanity I have left, I searched for a loophole. That loophole made itself known last night when she was trying to nuzzle me and I yelled, 'I will fuck you up, woman! Swear to God!' to her face.

Anyway, I was approached by one of the thestrals and informed that I was to be present for the woman's teachings. Naturally, I was confused and questioned him on what he meant, but he only responded by asking me to follow him.

That's where I made my first mistake...

I followed the guard down the seemingly endless hallway until we came upon the room he was looking for. Using his voodoo, witchcraft, horn glowy fuckery, he opened the door and allowed me to walk in while he remained outside. I heard the door close behind me, but my attention was far too drawn to the horrific sight in front of me to be bothered by it.

The room was small, consisting of nothing more than small desk, a chalkboard, and The Woman.

"You have got to be kidding me..." I said to no one in particular. Of all the things I knew I would have to go through from being reverted to a child, schooling was the last thing on my mind. "Seriously, this is a joke, right?"

The woman looked over at me, a warm smile gracing her features. "Welcome, Ebah. We're so glad you could join us."

"Firstly; Stop talking in plurals, it's getting annoying." I said, having been fed up with it since day one. "Secondly; I'm starting to feel like I wouldn't have had much of a choice."

The woman giggled at my response, pretty much shrugging off my comments. "Please, take a seat." She said, gesturing to the desk with a hoof.

Assuming that I wouldn't be able to get out of this without a fight, I decided humor her this one time. I grumpily made my way to one of the many things I had sworn off. It took me a good minute or so to find a comfortable sitting position. Having hind legs was weird and almost everything I tried made them bend at some very uncomfortable angles.

Once I was settled in, the woman trotted over in front of me. "Welcome to class, Ebah. Here we will be teaching you everything you need to know about being a productive pony in society." She placed a hoof atop of the desk and all but stared at my child-like form, making me feel much smaller than I already was. "We will be working with the most common teachings; Math, Equestrian Language, science, magic and so on." I can already feel a blood vessel getting ready to pop. "We shall primarily be working on your social skills. This should allow you to communicate with ponies in a more progressive manner."

I blinked a few times at her, a less-than-amused expression forming on my face. While I don't claim to be the smartest person in the world, I did manage to pull my own throughout the years. It took some trial, error, and even some arguing; but I made it. "I'm a high school graduate. So can we skip all of that other crap and just go to me ignoring you for social skills?" I informed, completely disregarding the voodoo teachings.

She giggled again, "Don't be silly, mine son. You're far too young to have graduated."

What I would do to have fingers...the ability to wring her neck...To watch her die slowly

Calm down up there! I'm not happy about this either, you know!

"Be serious now, mine son." She continued, still giving me that creepy motherly gaze. "It's imperative that we have you well-educated so that you may-"

"Speak in plurals and sound like I was born in the basement of a Medieval Times." This got her to shut up for a good second, even managed to change that creepy look on her face to something more natural. And by 'more natural', I mean that I may have actually pinched a nerve this time around.

The woman's face stayed facing mine, but her eyes were closed and she was taking deep breaths to keep her cool. "If it pleases you, we-" She stopped, catching herself before she went on. Her eyes opened and she smiled, but her aggravation could still be seen. "I can speak with the current times."

I nodded approvingly. "Good job..." Her smile became more natural at my words. "Now if we could get you to stop being a cunt you might get somewhere in life." Aaand it's gone.

Before I could react, the woman raised her hoof and slammed it onto my desk. The wooden surface cracked and she screamed my name with enough force to literally throw me out of my seat. I flew back a good few feet before landing on the ground, my body sliding another few inches across the floor.

I placed my hooves over my ears in a desperate attempt to stop the ringing that was echoing through my skull. "God dammit!" I yelled in pain, "Fuck, I think my ears are bleeding."

The woman recollected herself quickly when she noticed that I was in pain, running to my aid faster than I could blink. "Mine son!" She yelled, causing me to flinch. "We are so sorry! We didn't mean it, we swear!"

"Stop speaking in plurals!"

There was a brief recovery period after that and a certain number of nearly tear filled apologies that I had lost count of. A few minutes of blissful silence later, the ringing subsided and my ear drums stopped feeling as though they were going to burst at a moment's notice. With those little things out of the way, ma-The Woman- became insistent that we get started on my studies.

I stood just in front of my desk, the woman instructing me on how everything was going to go down. "One of the most important things to know, when it comes to mannerisms, is politeness. You must be kind, courteous and understanding to anypony you speak to."

"Cause you're clearly an expert..." I muttered under my breath, just quiet enough for her not to hear me. I know how to talk to PEOPLE just fine, I just don't care to be nice. As for ponies...Part of me is still convinced that this is some kind of fucked up dream.

"Let's try it out!" She began, sounding excited to be doing something like this. "Pretend that we are-"

"I am..." I corrected her. If she was going to force me into this kind of bullshit then I was going to continue chewing her out on how she speaks.

She let out an annoyed sigh, but still corrected herself. "Okay, let's pretend that I am a friend trying to deter you from doing something that is unwise."

"You mean stupid, right?"

Her eyes narrowed at me. "Yes, that is one way to put it." Her mood suddenly picked up out of nowhere. "Let us begin!" She held a hoof to her mouth, clearing her throat before placing it back to the floor. "Ebah, I do not believe that getting into a brawl with those ponies would be a good idea." She began, motioning to the chalkboard where a group of mean looking ponies were drawn onto its surface. "Perhaps we could try something else?"

"Hmm..." I placed a hoof to my chin, rubbing the spot as I played along with the scenario. "Do you think a more diplomatic approach would suffice?"

The woman shot me a prideful smile and nodded. "Yes, I do believe that could work."

"Maybe we could try talking to them and working something out?" I suggested, staring over at the ponies on the board.

"I think that is a wonderful idea."

I nodded, turning to face the board completely as the woman watched me with curious eyes. "Hey!" I screamed, causing her to flinch. "You guys like magic?"

The woman's features settled as my tone lightened. "They say, 'Yes, we do.'"

I nodded again, "Good, then I've got a magic trick for ya. If I see you dip shits anywhere around here again-" Out of the corner of my eyes I can see the woman's features sink like a bag of rocks in water, "I'm gonna put my arm down your throat and pull a rabbit out of your fucking ass!"

"Ebah!" She yelled, "That is not diplomacy!"

"Yes, it is!"

"In what world is that even close?"

"Um, my world." I said matter-of-factly. "The one that's not ruled by a bunch of pastel colored, talking horses!"

I could tell by the look that she was giving me that I hit something. Unlike last time though, she wasn't mad. In fact, she looked pretty upset. It's the kind of look you see on a person when they feel genuinely hurt for someone else; When they pity them...

The woman lowered herself until she was just above my level, placing a caring hoof on my shoulder. "Ebah, I know this is hard for you, and I understand that you won't be well for some time. Mine son, that world isn't real; It never was. And even if it were, there's no way you could have come from it." Something about the way she said this, and the way she was staring into me, it made me feel like she was right. "You're not a human. You are a pony, just like me."

I blinked a few times, trying to organize my thoughts. Maybe that prick in the glasses was right. What if I did live some fucked up life and blocked it all out with one big, detailed illusion of a different one? Maybe I never was human...

...Or maybe this woman is full of shit and trying to play mind games with me!

I slapped her hoof off of my shoulder, proudly returning to my proper state of mind. "Yeah, nice try."

The woman sighed and stood back at her full height. "Perhaps we should try another lesson."

Day court was finally drawing to a close, giving Celestia a sense of satisfaction, but mostly relief. She cared for all of her subjects and was glad to help them in any way she could, but some of the cases the nobles would bring to her were simply absurd. They would whine and complain to no end about the simplest of things and all she could do was bite her tongue on her personal opinions of the matter and pray for the headaches to go away.

Her horn became engulfed in a golden glow as she lowered the sun ever so slightly, letting it rest just above the horizon. All that was left now was to wait for her sister to arrive so the day could truly end. She waited in silence for a few minutes, but Luna had yet to arrive. Not even a letter informing her of a possible absence or otherwise came through.

Naturally, she started to worry for her sister. This worry prompted her to summon one of her guards, who approached her with a bow. "Rise, my little pony." She said, allowing the stallion to raise back to his full height. "It would appear that Luna is running late. I would like you to find her."

"Yes, your highness!" The guard responded, taking off out of the throne room intent to find the missing princess. Several more minutes passed and he returned with a worried expression stuck to his face. "Your majesty, we have a slight problem."

Celestia raised a curious brow to her guard. "And what might that be?"

He raised a hoof and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "It would seem that the child has gone into a rampage of sorts..."

A snorty chuckle escaped from Celestia's lips as the words left his mouth. Seeing the young alicorn going on a rampage would be absolutely adorable. "That's hardly a problem, I assure you." She began, "Luna is more than capable of-"

"Princess Luna is unconscious..."

The sun god's eyes went wide, just before narrowing angrily at the guard. "And you chose to wait until now to tell me this?"

The guard swallowed as sweat started rolling down his face. "A number of guards have been sent out to search for the child, and we have medical staff on their way to assist the princess of the night." He quickly added, hoping to redeem himself.

Celestia let out a throaty growl as she rose from her throne and trotted over to the horrified looking guard. "Lead the way." She said with a hint of venom in her words. "I would like to see my sister as soon as possible."

"Yes, your highness!" The guard led Celestia toward the Lunar half of the castle, literally shaking in his hoof boots the whole way.

When they came upon their destination, Celestia walked past the guard and into the room to find it in shambles. A small desk could be seen in the corner, a large crack going down its center. Near the center of the room was Luna, who was sitting on the ground while holding an ice pack to her head. Despite the medical ponies being in small numbers, they swarmed her like bees to a flower. Off to the side of them was a dinner table that, from the looks of it, had been flipped over, knocking its contents onto the floor. Two porcelain plates were shattered on the ground along with a vase, which left water and red flowers littering the floor as well.

Needless to say, the place was a mess.

Celestia made her way over to Luna, the medical staff moving out of her way as she came through. "Sister, what happened here?"

Luna turned her head toward her elder sister, a look of disappointment etched onto her features. "We just don't know what went wrong." She said solemnly. "We were trying to teach him proper dinner etiquette. He was doing so well until the waiter asked for his order, then..." Her words trailed off, as did her memory. "We're not sure what set him off. We remember him grabbing the table and throwing it like it was made of paper."

Celestia glanced over to table, her eyes inspecting it with fascination as she walked toward it. She placed a hoof against the solid wood's edge and gave it a tug, taking a mental note to herself of just how heavy it was. "A colt his age lifting something such as this..." She said to herself, "The amount of power he would have to use...I can only imagine what sort of boundary had been crossed. What kind of nightmare could be going through his head to cause him to act out like this?"

"We are unsure, sister." Luna responded, regaining the sun mare's attention. "But, whatever it is, it must be dreadful."

"What the kinda bullshit is this!?" I yelled to the poor stallion cornered at the end of the hallway. Seeing this was a bit of a relief, for a while I thought these things continued on forever. Alas, my rage kept me from admiring the sight as I unleashed verbal hell onto this prick who was supposed to be giving me food. "Since when do chefs not prepare steaks!? Are you fucking with me, or are you just lazy?"

He was trembling uncontrollably as he stared at me with pupils the size of pinpricks. "I'm sorry, sir! But, ponies don't consume meat. It's just unnatural."

I felt my eye twitch as I moved in on the stallion, grabbing him by his tie and pulling it until his nose was pressed against mine. "You have five minutes...If I don't have at least a burger, consisting of two buns, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, tomato, and a fucking cooked meat patty, I will set your pubic hair on fire!"

He stared at me, his eyes filled with nothing short of pure terror as he started sweating bullets. "W-we don't have m-"

"I'll kill your mother!" I snapped at him, grabbing his tie in my teeth before jumping up and pressing my back hooves against his chest. I pulled hard, earning myself the pleasure of hearing the bastard choke.

I'm sad to say that this was short lived as I felt an odd tingling sensation taking over my form. Before I knew it, I was hoisted into the air, but I refused to release my hold on the stallion's tie. He ended up being lifted with me a good few inches, but only until my jaw couldn't take the weight anymore.

He fell down with a light thud, sparing me one last glance as he scrambled to his hooves and took off at a full sprint down the hall. "Get back here, you prick!" I yelled after him, flailing around in the air like some kind of animal in an attempt to give chase. "I'm not done with you yet!"

I continued my struggling for a few brief seconds, but stopped after I spotted the unamused faces of the two dictators that ran this place. Still, being the stubborn prick I am, I didn't let their gazes faze me. "What the hell are you looking at?"

Their eyes locked onto me with a level of intensity that, by all rights, should have shattered every brave bone in my body. Even in my head, that metaphor didn't make sense; but it sounded cool.

"Ebah," The woman began, her voice as firm as a throbbing cock. "We understand-"

"I understand!" I corrected, causing her eyes to narrow at me. She did a sharp inhale before continuing.

"I understand that this is a difficult transition for you." She said, giving me a look of compassion. "I know that you feel scared and confused."

Again, I had to correct her. "Annoyed and confused."

She either didn't hear me or was ignoring me. "We've been letting your actions slide thus far, we are trying to be patient and understanding. But, we will not be tolerating this kind of behavior any longer." Her gaze suddenly hardened, causing my body to tense up. "Sister..."

Celestia approached, her expression just as stern as the woman's. "Yes, sister?" She responded, not taking her eyes off of me.

"Shall we discuss a means of punishment?" The woman asked, causing my irritation to grow ever so slightly.

"I believe we should." White horse agreed.

Her horn flashed and in the blink of an eye I was back in the woman's bedroom. "Son of a cock..." I went over to the door and attempted to leave but, lo and behold, it was locked. I growled in frustration. What were they gonna do, keep me locked up in here forever? As angry as I may have been, I decided against throwing a fit. Chasing down that stallion earlier really took a lot out of me and I kinda just want to take a nap.

Climbing up onto the bed, not bothering with the covers, I laid down on my back and stared up at the ceiling. I watched as some sort of representation of the night sky loomed above me, counting the stars only to be distracted when I saw one flying by at an incredible speed. Staring at this for too long made me nauseous, but that didn't make it any less appealing.

Some time passed and I heard the door unlock. My head instinctively shot up and turned to face whoever might be trying to come in. Blessed be the lord, Garnette came trotting in. However, she didn't look all that pleased to see me. Still though, I was pretty happy to see her.

"Howdy!" I said with a small smile.

Garnette just looked at me through tired eyes and groaned as she closed the door. "Why did you have to do this now?"

"Do what?" I asked as innocently as I could.

Another groan escaped her, this one louder than the last. "Oh, I don't know." She started up, having a bit of a sarcastic tone that made me wanna laugh my ass off. "Maybe it was flipping one of the tables onto the princess, threatening a butler's life, then proceeding to choke said butler with his own tie while threatening the life of his family; Specifically, his mother."

"Wow!" I'm not even mad, I'm impressed. "They really filled you in on everything, huh?"

"Yep." She said, looking no more awake now than she did when she arrived. "And now they want you under constant supervision, hence why I am here and my day off to rest is ruined."

"So that's my punishment?" I asked, feeling as though they could have taken a more extreme approach. "Send in a guard who I actually get along with?"

Garnette lazily nodded her head. "Mhm, they figured that sending me in would lessen the chances of another guard being injured."

Okay, maybe I'm not giving the talking horses enough credit. "Smart move, I guess."

"Starting tomorrow, Luna will be watching you like a hawk during the day, and I'll be keeping an eye on you at night." Garnette let out a loud yawn after saying this. She looked really out of it.

Feeling a little guilty for ruining her night, I patted a spot on the bed beside me. "Come on, get up here." I said, grabbing the blanket and pushing it to the side. "You look like you could use some shut-eye."

I could see it in her eyes, she wanted to curl up in the bed and pass out. "I can't, I'm supposed to be watching over you."

"Think of it this way;" I began, my hooves speaking along with me as if they were speaking as well. "If you come in the bed and knock out, you can cuddle me, then I have no way to escape! Not that I'd want to." To me, having a cuddle buddy that wasn't a crazy, blue cunt sounded phenomenal. I don't care how many times she denies me, I'll keep pushing.

The tired look in her eyes grew stronger, I could practically smell her temptation growing. Instead of submitting though, she closed her eyes and shook her thoughts of sleep away. "No, I can't. I have a duty to-"

"I don't give a fuck, mate!" I yelled, causing her to flinch slightly. "You look like hell, it's my fault, and I'm trying to correct my mistake." I went on, probably sounding more annoyed than I actually was. "Now you've got ten seconds to get over here and cuddle me or I'm coming over there and slapping you in your bitch face."

She didn't really say anything after that, but I could see the conflict going on in her head just from her facial expression. About a minute or so passes when she closed her eyes and submitted. "Okay, fine..."

I could feel the shit-eating grin already stretching my lips as far as they could go as I watched her strip free of her armor and climb onto the bed. She laid down on her side, facing me. I grabbed the blanket and threw it over us before burying myself into her chest fur. I was actually surprised by how warm and soft she was. She was hesitant, but I felt her hooves slowly wrap around my small body, pulling me deeper into her. I listened to her heart beating gently, its sound soothing me and bringing me a new level of comfort. I couldn't help but think back on the times I did this back in my world. Having someone by my side to hold always made me feel warm. The only difference now was that I was the one being held...and I wasn't fondling her...yet!

Regardless, I was enjoying myself. I could already feel the warm embrace of sleep creeping up on me. I closed my eyes, letting the world around me fade away as I nuzzled my friend's body.

Don't get attached, you'll only be hurting yourself

She doesn't like you, why should you like her?

She's only here because she has to be. She doesn't want to.

She hates you and you know it!

Author's Notes:

I didn't go through and edit this, as far as I can remember. I'm still in a bit of a weird mood because of everything thats going on, so I'm not really feeling up to doing much of anything. But, this has been sitting here for a couple of weeks now and I haven't done jack-shit, so here you go.

See if you can name the references.