Toaster loved her job as a Canterlot prostitute. Until the day she was fired for gross incompetence. Apparently, a prostitute who spends three years working but still remains a virgin isn’t exactly hooker material.
Seeking to reestablish herself, Toaster relocates to a small and obscure town in the middle of nowhere called Ponyville. She promptly moves into the crawlspace of a hand-obsessed engineer next to a house owned by a pair of ambiguously incestuous twins. She immediately begins to perform her new job in accordance with her special talent, even while being pursued by a persistent pink prude.
Soon after starting, though, Toaster soon discovers that getting money for sex is difficult when your magic incinerates anything it touches and you are born with a hideous color scheme. Apparently, the old statement is true: nobody wants to put it in a toaster.
Now with 50% more bad editing, obscure heavy metal references, and confusing self-referential jokes! And I don’t even know what universe it takes place in!
WARNING: Look at those tags. One of them says “sex”. This is a sex comedy. As in, it is full of all kinds of sex jokes. Weiner jokes, incest jokes, I think there’s even a bestiality joke in there. It is rated “Mature”, but I assure you, it is quite immature and possibly offensive. But I suppose that is the point.
22 Chapters:
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Chapter 1: Don't Worry, I'm a Professional [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 16th, 2016
2,323
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Chapter 2: In the Office of Tip Tickler [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 16th, 2016
3,676
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Chapter 3: Coming to Town [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 16th, 2016
2,521
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Chapter 4: Raiding Lyra’s Fridge [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 16th, 2016
1,348
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Chapter 5: Apple Juice [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 16th, 2016
4,147
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Chapter 6: First Day, First Failure [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 16th, 2016
1,485
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Chapter 7: Toast in the Town [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 23rd, 2016
6,607
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Chapter 8: To Catch the Dash [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 23rd, 2016
3,556
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Chapter 9: Pinkie is the Villain in this Story [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 23rd, 2016
2,594
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Chapter 10: There is a Dog in this Chapter [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 2nd, 2016
3,088
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Chapter 11: Flutterbutter [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 2nd, 2016
3,878
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Chapter 12: Unfunny Chapter that Drives the Plot [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 2nd, 2016
8,004
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Chapter 13: The Ivory Tower [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 2nd, 2016
3,028
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Chapter 14: Sad Toast [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 2nd, 2016
3,840
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Chapter 15: Dancy Dancy Sexy Time [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 15th, 2016
3,523
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Chapter 16: Finishing the Job [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 15th, 2016
5,990
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Chapter 17: Making Cupcakes [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 15th, 2016
1,834
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Chapter 18: Serving the Bread [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 15th, 2016
9,276
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Chapter 19: Generally Crusty [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 15th, 2016
6,231
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Chapter 20: Punishing the Bad Pony [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 15th, 2016
2,256
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Chapter 21: I Coudn't Think of A Good Ending, so This is What You Get [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 15th, 2016
13,664
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Chapter 22, Epilogue: Yup, it’s an Epilogue [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 15th, 2016
2,758