Run, you stupid son of a bitch!

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing!?" The human sounded off, sprinting at full speed down the night wing hallways in nothing but a pair of black shorts.

Waking up this morning had definitely been interesting. He was laying peacefully in bed, his eyes opened, then he found himself being suspended in the air. A dark figure had emerged from a corner of the room, it was Luna, obviously, and she was holding a long black whip. At that moment, Ryan realized that he had fucked up.

It was quite the battle at first, mostly consisting of him struggling to reacquaint himself with gravity. Neither of them knew how, but Ryan had managed to break free from Luna's magic before promptly grabbing his shorts from the ground and taking off out of the room like a bat out of hell.

He had put a good deal of distance between himself and the lunar princess, but that whip had one hell of a range, and she was catching up quick.

"Stop running and face your punishment like a stallion!" Luna called out to him as she flew down the hallway. She would have snatched him up in her magic again, but he was somehow blocking her from doing so.

"I am not a stallion!" He loudly replied, "I am a man! A man who would like to keep his ass from being beaten to a bloody pulp!"

He continued sprinting until he found himself just outside of the throne room. A plan quickly came to mind as he caught sight of its entrance and he made a B-line right for it. Ryan burst through the door, quickly catching the attention of Celestia, as well as several solar guards.

"HALP!" He screamed desperately. "My bootyliciousness is at stake!"

Celestia didn't have time to respond as the human dove behind her chair and crouched down so he wouldn't be seen. There were a thousand different questions going through her mind at once, most of which were answered when she spotted Luna flying in with a whip in her hand and an annoyed expression on her face.

"I know you're in here." She said in a seductive tone, her features turning from annoyed to an odd mix of both sexy and mischievous as she began pacing around the room. "~It's time to come out and play."

Ryan couldn't help it, his smart ass attitude as well as his damn near childish nature kicked in when she tried to coax him to reveal himself. "Fuck your couch!"

...There are no words...to describe...how fucking stupid you are...

Luna's ear twitched and her head turned toward Celestia's throne. "Found you!"

She took flight, aiming to fly right over the throne to get to her prize hiding just on the other side. That was the plan. However, before she could even get to the throne her body became consumed in a golden aura and she froze in place. "Hey, let me go!"

Celestia watched as Luna started thrashing about in her magical hold, but to no avail. She wouldn't be able to get out no matter how hard she tried.

"Luna, what do you think you are doing?" She asked her younger sister with a stern look on her face. The kind of look you would get if your mother found you tracking bloo-I mean mud- through the house.

Luna crossed her arms and put on a stubborn expression. Clearly she wasn't looking to have a conversation with her sister. Especially when it came to as of why she was hunting down her mate like a dog.

"Luna..." Celestia pressed, her gaze growing more cold with each passing second.

She sighed, "If you must know, Ryan was misbehaving last night. So I was going to punish him."

Celestia rolled her eyes at her sister's words. "Oh please, not being able to bed you because he was tired is hardly something worthy of punishment."

The lunar princesses eyes widened dramatically. "How did you-?"

"I pay attention, sister. More so than you may realize." Despite her words, her knowledge on the matter came purely by accident. It wasn't really a matter of watching them, it was more of how she happened to be walking past the room and heard what was going on, on the other side.

"I'm going to put you down now," Celestia continued, "and I would like for you to take the day off to relax in your room."

"But, what about Ryan?" She asked, looking over her sister's shoulder to see the human's hand flipping her off from behind the chair. She growled at this, tightening her grip on the whip.

"I can handle him for a while." She said with pride. "Besides, he and I have yet to spend any real time together and I would really like to get to know my future brother-in-law."

Luna blushed, she hated when her sister teased her like this. Her eyes shifted from her sister, to the now standing human, then back again. She really didn't want to do this, but she knew that arguing with Celestia would only lead to bad things. After taking a moment to think things through she finally let out a sigh of defeat.

"Fine, I will retire to my chambers for the day."

"Woohoo!" Ryan cheered, raising his fists to the air victoriously. "I'm gonna live!"

Right as he said this, the button on his pants came undone, causing them to fall to his ankles and trip him. Ryan fell to the floor, smacking his head against the solid structure with a loud thump. "Ow, bitch!"

See that? You jinxed it. Fucking moron!

The two sisters giggled and performed a light high-five in honor of the human's torment.

With Luna now out of the way and spending the day in her room, Ryan was left at the mercy of the all powerful bitch herself, Princess Celestia. If that wasn't bad enough, she had invited Princess Cadence over as well. This way they could get to know the human more personally rather than by just hearing the stories Luna told about him.

So, here he was; Sitting in the dining room. To his left, at the head of the table, was Celestia. Sitting across from him was Cadence who, thankfully, decided to come to the castle without Shining Cock-hole.

I really don't like that guy...

They all sat in an almost awkward silence. Nothing had been said since they took their seats and ordered their food. Cadence nearly gagged a few times when she had heard Ryan order a cheese burger; cooked rare so it was nice and bloody. That made him laugh a bit.

After a few minutes, the silence was finally becoming unbearable. Luckily Cadence decided to speak up first. "So, Ryan. Do all humans eat meat like you do?"

He could see that his eating habits were slightly unsettling to her, which made this much more amusing, but he didn't see the point in going completely nuts about it and telling her that humans were meat crazy freaks. That might get him into allot of trouble. Might as well just stick to the facts.

"Yes and no." Ryan answered simply, causing the pink alicorn to cock her head slightly in confusion.

"What do you mean? If you don't mind me asking."

He shrugged a bit. "People have their own preferences. Some humans like their meat bloody, like me, but most prefer a lack of blood. Some humans don't even eat meat, it's just how they are. We're a very diverse species, so it all depends on your background and personal decisions...Then you have the cannibals."

Celestia, who was sipping a glass of water as he spoke, began choking on the liquid and spit out most of what she had drank. "I beg your pardon?" She asked once she had managed to get her bearings back.

"Yeah, they exist. Some interesting people they are." He explained, "In some countries its normal, in most it's heavily frowned upon, if not illegal. There are exceptions for if you're stranded out in the middle of nowhere with no food and someone dies from natural causes, but that's overcomplicated shit."

The two princesses glanced over at each other, then back at the human. "I think I'd like to change the subject." Cadence said in a shaky voice. "How's your relationship with Luna going?"

"She tried to beat me with a whip not even an hour ago." He replied with a deadpan expression. He could see Celestia doing her best to hold back a smirk. "Yeah, I bet that one tickles your fancy, doesn't it? Sick bastard."

Celestia blushed and now it was Cadences turn to hold back her amused expression.

Anyway, do you have any hobbies?" Cadence asked with a slight twinkle in her eyes.

That's weird...

Ryan nodded. "Yeah, I have a few. I like fighting, wrestling. Uhhh...I sing sometimes."

The princesses' eyes both widened. "Really!?" They asked in unison, causing the human to jump back a bit.

"Yeah..." He replied in a tone that almost made him sound scared.

I feel like this isn't going to end well.

After some more idle chit-chat, their food arrived and was quickly take care of. Once they had finished their meals Celestia announced that she wanted to show Ryan something. Upon this being mentioned Cadence started bouncing with glee. The sun goddess led them down a few hallways before finally finding the door she was looking for. She opened it up and one look is all it took for Ryan to process what was about to happen.

"Why have I not see this!?" Ryan yelled at the mares.

They've had a fucking karaoke room this whole time!?

"What bullshit!?" He continued to scream, digging his fingers into his head as he did so. "Ahhh!"

Cadence and Celestia both flinched at his response. The karaoke room had been here for long time, ever since Cadence was a filly. They used to hang out in here and sing whenever they had some free time. It was a nice way to kick back and have a little fun.

Ryan took a few breaths to clear his mind and settle himself down. Okay, so they had a karaoke room. He would make sure to abuse it later, but right now he was up to have a little fun. "What kind of songs do you have on here."

Celestia shrugged. "Instrumentals, mostly. We used to have so much fun trying to come up with lyrics for each one." She said with a smile, thinking back on all of the good times she had in here.

"Okay..." Ryan began, "I'm not really good at freestyling, but I can give it a shot."

"Aunty," Cadence piped up, flashing everyone an eager smile. "If you wouldn't mind, I would like to go first."

Celestia couldn't help but smile back at her. "Of course, dear."

The young alicorn ran up to the machine and sifted through a few of the instrumentals on it before finding one she liked. "Ryan, if you wouldn't mind, could we possibly do a duet?"

Asking him to do a duet with her wasn't exactly weird, but how she asked was a bit offputting. She sounded almost nervouse for some reason. Deciding to ignore her weirdness, he thought about it for a moment and could only see a thousand plus ways that this could go terribly wrong. "Sure, why not."

Live dangerously and die with a smile.

The mare practically beamed at his agreement. "Wonderful!' She selected the song and turned to face the human. "Since you're the guest, I'll let you start and follow your lead."

Well shit...

His body sunk slightly. "Terrific." He said in an almost dead tone.

Ryan suddenly perked up as a familiar beat started to flow from the machine. He instantly recognized it as a song from his world. It was one he was actually quite fond of. The band that made it was German and they didn't make very many songs in English, but this one was.

The mares noticed his sudden emotional change, seeing how it was a rather positive response, they smiled, knowing that he was getting excited now. Cadence grabbed two microphones, holding one in her right hand and tossing the other to Ryan.

He waited for the right moment to start singing, loosening up his body to make him more comfortable. Once he was nice and loose he pointed a finger to Cadence and started the song in a voice slightly deeper than normal.

"~There's so much wrong in your life.

And you wish you could turn back time.

No time for sorrow, no time to regret.

You're drowning in the sands of time."

Cadence flashed him a smile that almost looked like she was challenging him, that or accepting a challenge. She took a few steps closer to him, catching on to his lyrics and singing in unison with him.

"But life goes on day by day...

And all the faults will remain...

You walk away.

You walk away.

From the place you left before; without me.

There is nothing, that will make you stay."

The two moved closer to each other, getting to the point where their faces were almost touching. Both of them wearing a mixed expression of determination and enjoyment.

"You walk away.

You walk away.

From the place you left before.

You won't go back, 'cause there's nothing more for you to say."

Celestia had no words to describe how well put together this was. It was supposed to be something where ponies would have to come up with lyrics on the spot, but Ryan seemed to be playing it off as if he already knew what the words were supposed to be and the way Cadence was working off of him was simply remarkable.

"You keep all the memories in your heart." Ryan continued, this time alone.

"You know they will keep you from being free.

You walk with the devil deep inside.

As long as you're not able to forget."

Cadence was waiting patiently for where she felt she could join in again. She knew where her place was in the song, she could see it in Ryan's eyes. Something about the way he looked at her was telling her when she should go along with him and when she shouldn't. It was odd how well he was doing. It was almost like he knew what the words were supposed to be.

"But life goes on day by day." She sang with him, seeing that it was time for her to join in.

"And all your faults will remain.

You walk away.

You walk away.

From the place you left before, without me.

There is nothing that will make you stay.

You walk away.

You walk away.

From the place you left before.

You won't go back, 'cause there's nothing more for you to say."

Ryan paused, letting Cadence take the lead now. Singing in the most angelic voice he had ever heard.

"Oh! Oh!

You walk away...You walk away."

There was a brief pause between the two as they eyed each other. As if by clockwork, they both continued as the beat to the song began to pick up.

"You walk away.

You walk away.

From the place you left before, without me.

There is nothing that will make you stay.

You walk away.

You walk away.

From the place you left before.

You won't go back, 'cause there's nothing more for you to say..."

The song ended and they lowered their mics, just staring at each other. They jumped slightly as a one-person applause picked up just a few feet away from them.

Celestia was absolutely awestruck. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was agape. "That was absolutely marvelous."

Cadence looked back at Ryan with a small smile on her face, as well as a blush that she was failing to hide under her mane. He smiled back nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. Why was he feeling nervous all of a sudden?

"Thanks, Tia." Ryan said, his eyes strangely never leaving Cadence. They couldn't leave her. It was like he was locked in some sort of trance, one that he wasn't sure he wanted to break free from.

Snap out of it, you fucking tool!

He closed his eyes and shook his head to recollect himself. It worked, for the most part. He wasn't stuck looking at her. However, that plan completely backfired when Cadence placed a hand on his cheek.

"Are you alright, Ryan?" She asked with a horrifying amount of genuine concern. "You're not feeling sick are you?"

He kept his eyes closed, but he could feel her smooth fur gently caressing his cheek and moving up to his head. "You're a bit warm. Maybe you should go lie down." She said in a very peculiar tone.

I don't like this...I don't like it!

Her hand started to wander down until it was resting on Ryan's chest. His eyes shot open and he jumped back just far enough to be out of her reach. "No, I'm fine. I, uh, was just having too much fun I guess."

Get the fuck outta dodge!

He quickly put on a fake smile. "I think I'm going to go take a bath or something to help cool myself down. I'll see you guys later."

Ryan didn't even wait for a response; he walked to the door and closed it behind him before taking off down the hall until he was far enough away that he was sure no pony would hear him.

"You caught that, right?"

Eeyup...We're fucked.

"I am terribly sorry, Cadence." Celestia said, hoping she wouldn't take offense to how Ryan was acting. "He has a tendency to act weird sometimes, but never like this."

"Maybe something is bothering him." She suggested, "If you don't mind, I can stay here for a bit to analyze him and see if there's anything I can do to help."

She smiled at her niece. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like. Just be careful, Luna has been showing signs of a slight jealousy problem. Wouldn't want her getting the wrong idea." She said with a giggle.

Cadence just smiled and waved her comment off. "Don't worry aunty, I'll be fine. Maybe I can even help her out with that problem of hers as well."

"I wish you the best of luck." Celestia stated with a slight bow. "I have some paperwork I need to catch up on, so I'm sorry to say that I must be off for the time being."

"I understand perfectly."

"What do you plan to do for the time being?"

"Not sure yet. I might try to find Ryan, maybe get an early start on figuring out why he's acting weird."

Celestia nodded. "Very well, I'll meet up with you later." With that she was off. She couldn't say she was ready to take on all the paperwork, but it needed to get done.

Cadence stood alone in the hallway, an excited smile spreading her face as she began searching the halls for the human.

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlxSYt9MBC8

Figured I'd get to work on this chapter early. Hope y'all are enjoying, feel free to leave a comment below. Comments make me feel special :P

That being said, have a field day